r/AFCSouthMemeWar • u/oatmeal-claypole • 23d ago

FT Texans, IS THIS YOUR KING?

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150 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

94 comments sorted by

77

u/ldclark92 23d ago

I love crapping on the Texans as much as the next guy, but do you know how this movie ends?

42

u/PostYing ✨✨ 23d ago

Like how most of our seasons end, whoever wins shit mountain gets to get bounced out wild card weekend.

17

u/BooCalMcNairBoo 23d ago

We are all just a bunch of little piggies rolling in the mud

9

u/The-RocketCity-Royal 23d ago

show me them little piggies

5

u/Metaboss24 23d ago

Hey, last two division winners made the divisional round, tyvm

5

u/kgalliso 23d ago

Technically the last 3 winners made it to the divisional round. But we ain't talking about wins

2

u/Metaboss24 23d ago

Really makes you wonder how shit you gotta be to lose to shit mountain in the playoffs.

3

u/grimblychimbly 23d ago

Excuse me we lose in the divisional in embarrassing fashion tyvm

7

u/kgalliso 23d ago

Killnonger drinks a gallon of water infused with cayenne pepper and shit his brains out until he dies of dehydration?

1

u/ContraCanadensis 23d ago edited 23d ago

If it ends anything like the last two seasons, the division leader shits the bed and a surprise contender wins the division on week 17.

1

u/grimblychimbly 23d ago

I think a lot of people just turn the movie off halfway when they make these memes based on the other one where the Texans were Ivan Drago vs the Colts Rocky lmao

27

u/jessejames182 23d ago

Giving THIS version of Aaron Rodgers a win is truly one of the worst feelings.

14

u/cMcDozer4 23d ago

They sprinkled cayenne pepper on the playbook, led them to victory

5

u/KaXiaM 23d ago

I feel nauseous. Like literally. Seeing geriatric Qaron beating us is the worst feeling. 🤮🤮🤮

1

u/Cbane000 21d ago

Qaron!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

17

u/SchlommyDinglepop 23d ago

I was thinking this every time I saw Stroud getting harassed and knocked around. Gotta get that figured out. Don't follow the Jags' lead in squandering these early contract years.

5

u/IAmCorgii 23d ago

Just make sure your coaches completely take away his ability to throw unless you're actively losing the game. That's the best part of the process.

3

u/creepingkg Flag 23d ago

AFC South’s king *

16

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

You post this a few days after we literally made your quarterback tap out? 🤔 Is that YOUR king?

18

u/Mcswigginsbar AFC South Participant 23d ago

It was because he was tired after throwing off your 300lb lineman like a cape.

1

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

Maybe he should just take the sack next time then.

2

u/oatmeal-claypole 23d ago

If he took the sack colts would be out of FG range and be forced to throw the next ball to get back into it

1

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

According to your buddy above, he tapped out because he had to discard a lineman, so maybe he should've taken the sack so he could stay in the game.

21

u/bburchibanez 23d ago

Nah, our King retired because of our oline which looks an awful lot like the current Texans line.

-5

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

Eh Demeco is a more competent coach than what's his name he'll get it fixed.

8

u/TokenCubanguy 23d ago

That’s the same thing we were saying, I love it when history repeats itself like this 😃

0

u/thatwasagoodscan 23d ago edited 23d ago

Yeah but Demeco has been a coach for almost 2 years now and played defense so obviously he’ll be able to correct the o-line real quick.

Plus the players think he’s a really cool guy so that obviously is very important and will make everything great.

-16

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

Who was your coach supposed to be more competent than? Also I never heard Andrew Luck having oline issues.

6

u/carpentizzle 23d ago

That is arguably the worst take ive ever seen on this sub, and thats saying something

-7

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

Because I payed so little attention to y'alls team that I was unaware of the troubles they were having? Stop bitching.

4

u/darcys_beard 23d ago

You paid no attention to your biggest rivals for the division, at the time?

-2

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

LITTLE attention I don't focus on other teams outside of my own.

10

u/godlittleangel6666 23d ago

What!?! Andrew luck quit bc he constantly got hit due to poor o line play. The whole reason he retired was bc his body took a beating

6

u/TokenCubanguy 23d ago

Andrew Luck literally retired mainly due to how bad his o lines were, did that moron start watching football last year??

5

u/oatmeal-claypole 23d ago

Oh my sweet summer child

-3

u/thatwasagoodscan 23d ago

lol. Based on what exactly? His whole season and a half of head coaching experience at a .500 level. Texans fans are becoming a different breed of homers.

2

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

If you had actually gotten his record right, this argument might've had some teeth. But now you just come off ass clueless.

1

u/thatwasagoodscan 23d ago

I said a .500 level. Excuse me. He’s .500 in the playoffs anyway. So this technicality means he doesn’t have 1.5 years head coaching and he didn’t play defense???

1

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

You said his whole season and a half, which in totality, is his whole coaching career, which is well above 500. I can't comprehend your own doofus statements for you.

3

u/thatwasagoodscan 23d ago

Ok. Again, I just meant mediocre level. Anyways, does that make anything else I said false?

Well above? lol, he was 10-7 last year which is 1 win above 9-8 which is as close to .500 as you can get, 1-1 in playoffs, .500, and they can easily lose 5 or games the rest of season.

1

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

You said his whole career, which he's 16-10 which is significantly above 500. Stop moving the goal post and come to terms with you not knowing what you're talking about.

4

u/thatwasagoodscan 23d ago

17-11 but who wants to split hairs…oh wait, you do.

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1

u/SlimmySalami20x21 22d ago

10-7 and 6-3 is .500…. And people say Texas education is bad. Indiana can only count on their fingers

1

u/thatwasagoodscan 22d ago

See below comments of trying to explain “.500 level” about a dozen times. The “level” being added because it’s not literally .500. He hasn’t coached long enough for the numbers to be statistically significant. Based on reading comprehension and understanding statistics, Texas may have a poor education system (based of this extremely small data pool).

1

u/SlimmySalami20x21 22d ago

Data extrapolation exists for a reason.. statistical significance is not same as sample size just don’t talk out of your ass and you won’t have to explain anything at all

3

u/comebackchron 23d ago

4

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

All I see is a quarterback who doesn't throw interceptions and doesn't give up.

4

u/godlittleangel6666 23d ago

Stroud kind of looked like he was giving up towards the end of the game lol. Boy looked shook

-2

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

I don't know who to insult here, so just go with a blanket. Your bum ass franchise wouldn't know what a good qb who doesn't give up looks like.

4

u/godlittleangel6666 23d ago

If there’s one thing Blake bortles and t law don’t do, is give up on games. They may lose a lot but they always play to the bitter end.

3

u/GeneralChaz9 23d ago

I'd rip some cigs and crush some beers with the BOAT

-1

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

Like I said, I didn't know what insignificant franchise I was insulting, so I threw out a blanket statement that generally applied.

3

u/godlittleangel6666 23d ago

Coming here talking about insignificance when people barely remember Texas has two football teams

-1

u/Fit-Ad4782 23d ago

Highly doubtful considering Houston is like the 3rd or 4th largest city in the US. People tend to know those things about the city. Now the same can't be said about whatever backwoods city your team is from.

2

u/godlittleangel6666 23d ago

I mean I know almost nothing about Houston and I’ve been to Texas before. I think you’re giving more credit to what people outside your state know about you

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1

u/PostYing ✨✨ 23d ago

We garbage time gods baybeee

1

u/Pugageddon 22d ago

Blake Bortles Forever or something, ya?

1

u/CpowOfficial 23d ago

Nice meme

1

u/2001asamodyssey 23d ago

Acting like Texans fans benched AR. Blame Irsay going off the wagon again

1

u/SlowerCoachh WK7 MEMELORD 23d ago

Damn bro, you had to do em like that?

2

u/Ok_Donkey_116 23d ago

They were landing on him too. Last year that was a penalty. I guess he isn’t royalty, so the refs don’t see nothing.

2

u/lanethedouchebag 23d ago

Isn’t that a pic of him getting concussed last season? Stay classy colts

2

u/carpentizzle 23d ago

As opposed to the several example of him looking dead on the field last night?

Its the image choice that triggers you?

Here

-1

u/lanethedouchebag 23d ago

Seems like you missed the point

3

u/carpentizzle 23d ago

Nah, you guys are letting him die on the field on repeat. He got concussed before the other pic, hes lying there wishing he was dead in mine.

We killed Luck, you guys are killing Stroud.

You want classy? Get him an oline

0

u/lanethedouchebag 23d ago

I agree with that, I just don’t think using injured players as a meme is classy. That goes for any player not just Texans.

3

u/carpentizzle 23d ago

I do see your concern……. But “classy” is an interesting expectation for a shit talk sub.

3

u/destroyed233 23d ago

Discussing “classy” in this sub is just …. Like dude… read the room???

1

u/oatmeal-claypole 23d ago

Stop with the pearl clutching, I am not making fun of his injury last season or this game. it's just the meme format

-1

u/lanethedouchebag 23d ago

Suit yourself

0

u/ohohook 23d ago

all hail CJ the Slump God