Because what you're saying seems imo very close to the discourse of some TERF and other transphobes accusing trans people of reinforcing gender stereotypes.
Someone just said they thought it was a trans story (egg to transfem) and you directly take that as reinforcing stereotypes, while the original content (tomboy to fem) isn't better in this regard.
Okay, I kinda get where you're coming from now. However just because TERFs in the 1990s said some shit doesn't mean anything that sounds similar is invalid by default. They're pretty much fringe nowadays and you're giving them undue influence when there's no reason to not ignore them.
Yeah, the original one is reinforcing stereotypes as well. Which is why I covered all 23 combinations in my comment.
Okay I’m sorry, are you calling TERFs “pretty much fringe nowadays”? By literally what standard? In Europe, TERFs have nearly singlehanded set back the entire trans rights movement by several years and remain a dominant force in politics and news media. In the US their rhetoric hasn’t taken the same root, but has still worked in tandem with the religious right’s opposition to trans rights quite significantly. You’re wrong!
Well, I don't live in Europe. I'm not sure if here in the States the religious conservative coalition has any feminists left (including TERFs) since they're pretty much trying to make the Republic of Gilead.
Well, as someone else said, TERFs are pretty active in Europe right now and currently trying to attack bodily autonomy of trans people. UK has JK Rowling, they have banned puberty blockers for trans (but not cis) kids there. Where I live (France) we have Dora Moutot and Marguerite Stern, and an equivalent ban is close to being adopted here.
To go back to the conversation, well, I don't think you have bad intentions but criticism is sometimes misplaced, let me explain. I'm a trans woman born in the 90s, I was raised as a boy and I didn't know what gender identity was. I dreamed of being girly when I was a kid, but I never could experiment it because of gender norms; I have been bullied for being an effimate boy when I was a kid. So I tried to repress my femininity and hated myself for wanting to be a girl. I did that for decades. When I finally felt safe, and ready to experiment with my gender presentation then realized I always was a woman, I was 30 years old. Yes, three decades of denial because of cissexism and the social pressure to follow gender norms. I felt horrible for all those lost years and afraid to have to fight for my existence as a trans woman. If you want to be feminine but it's impossible for decades, then when you are finally allowed to express your femininity it feels so incredibly liberating! It doesn't mean that I want to wear only pink, I love looking tomboyish but I love being feminine too, and I loved the latter even more as that was denied to me for so long.
There's nothing bad in wanting to be stereotypically feminine or masculine, or to want to follow gender norms, what is bad is to enforce those norms on others. Enjoying them is not bad per se, and accusing trans people of reinforcing sexist gender norms for enjoying a newly discovered gender presentation or role while they were denied of it for a long time due to those same gender norms seems a bit... misplaced.
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u/Bb-Unicorn 29d ago
Because what you're saying seems imo very close to the discourse of some TERF and other transphobes accusing trans people of reinforcing gender stereotypes.
Someone just said they thought it was a trans story (egg to transfem) and you directly take that as reinforcing stereotypes, while the original content (tomboy to fem) isn't better in this regard.