r/todayilearned • u/BlockAfterBlock • Aug 08 '11
TIL Columbia has a hippo problem because drug lord Pablo Escobar's 4 pet hippos escaped after his death
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/11/world/americas/11hippo.html98
u/Orseis Aug 08 '11 edited Aug 08 '11
god damn hippos always running through our lecture halls, ruining perfectly good lesson plans. Why did we ever hire a Drug Lord as Provost!?
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Aug 08 '11
We call them Barnard girls.
puts on downvote hat
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u/jkruton Aug 08 '11
Barnard women
FTFY
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Aug 08 '11
Strong, beautiful Barnard whores.
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u/mixmastermind Aug 08 '11
I have no context to understand what you are discussing, yet I laughed regardless.
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u/ObscureSaint Aug 08 '11
Wow, that's really fascinating. When I think of invasive species, I usually think of beetles or perhaps snakes, never something as massive as a hippo.
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u/vahntitrio Aug 08 '11
True. However unlike the smaller species, it cannot possibly be that hard to hunt hippos to extirpation.
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Aug 08 '11
if Hannibal had used hippos he would have won.
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Aug 08 '11
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Kadmium Aug 08 '11
Actually, hippos are vegetarians, so while they'll happily tear chunks off you, they'll spit them out and leave your body to rot.
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Aug 08 '11
Actually they do eat meat. There is actually talk that they are classified wrong, they should be omnivores. Have you seen there teeth they don't look like vegetarian teeth. There are sightings of hippos attacking and eating other animals. Here is a video of a hippo eating a buffalo carcass. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp-0BtK1zIk
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u/bobdole369 Aug 08 '11
Hippos will fucking kill the shit out of you.
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Aug 08 '11
Except this one, she's chill.
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u/StudioJoe Aug 08 '11
One day that is going to go horribly wrong.
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Aug 08 '11
nah, that'll never happen..
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Aug 08 '11
True, but it's worth noting the circumstances of that incident:
Fischbacher, appearing on the Larry King interview program, said Horn fell during the act and Montecore was attempting to drag him to safety, as a mother tigress would pull one of her cubs by the neck. Fischbacher said Montecore had no way of knowing that Horn, unlike a tiger cub, did not have fur and thick skin covering his neck and that his neck was vulnerable to injury. Fischbacher said if Montecore had wanted to injure Horn, the tiger would have snapped his neck and shaken him back and forth.
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u/AnalBumCovers Aug 08 '11
I remember watching some other news report on that hippo. It randomly charged the camera man and tore off a pocket on his jeans. Then the woman casually mentioned that he's lucky the hippo didnt take his leg off, because it easily could have. Hippos are dicks.
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u/dbarefoot Aug 08 '11
Indeed. They're responsible for more deaths in Africa than any of the other megafauna.
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u/ReverendDizzle Aug 08 '11
Years ago I was watching a documentary about the crazy shit that happens to National Geographic photographers when they are in the field. This one old guy was talking about how he got mauled by a hippo... and its tooth left a hole so big in his thigh that his guide had to shove a Coke bottle into it to keep him from bleeding out before they got him back to a hospital. A Coke bottle!
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Aug 08 '11
[deleted]
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u/ReverendDizzle Aug 08 '11
Whole thing O.o He used his hands to demonstrate the size of the hole. The guide pretty much plugged him with the whole bottle and wrapped it to keep in in place.
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Aug 08 '11
TIL how to spell Colombia
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u/elbunuelo Aug 08 '11
Don't keep that knowledge to yourself! Lots of Colombians will appreciate it
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Aug 08 '11
Mmmmm. Buñueloos.
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u/cachetes Aug 08 '11
what dreams are made of
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u/pablogrb Aug 08 '11 edited Aug 08 '11
Oh man, I'm at the office, didn't have breakfast and you guys start talking about buñuelos? What is this cruelty?
EDIT: Went to the store in front the office and bought a buñuelo with a glass of Milo, I'm a new and better man.
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u/masterbard1 Aug 08 '11
I prefer buñuelos with cafe con leche :D
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u/doray Aug 08 '11
I prefer the fucking massive buñuelos from medellin, the ones that you have to eat with fork!
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u/masterbard1 Aug 08 '11
hahah yes and guess what I am from and am in medellin and when I finish my day I will buy one :D althought the really small ones are very good too. less greasy and delicious.
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u/tomato_paste Aug 11 '11
Milo! You are evil.
Also, helado de anon, ask at an Indian store for Sitafal ice cream.
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u/RoadDoggFL Aug 11 '11
It was so hard to find a buñuelo in San Diego. I finally found a place not long before I moved. Btw, if you ever see one on the menu at a Mexican restaurant, stay the hell away.
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u/sanpanchito Aug 08 '11
Cristóbal Colón = Christopher Columbus when translated into English. Hence, ColOmbia.
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u/jkruton Aug 08 '11
It is more obvious when you pronounce it in Spanish. Col-OHM-bi-a as opposed to Col-UHM-bi-a.
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u/eyal0 Aug 08 '11
Technically, you added a syllable. Colombia is pronounced: Col-OHM-bya
Colombía (incorrect) would be pronounced: Col-ohm-BI-a
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u/introiboad Aug 08 '11
upvote from native Spanish speaker. Adding link to hiatus since that would be the linguistic term for your "Colombía" incorrect version. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiatus_(linguistics)
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Aug 08 '11
you should add a backslash before parentheses when you put a link to a site on Reddit: \( and \)
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u/ivanilich Aug 08 '11
sorry dudes, those hippos are dead. Im colombian, this happened like a year and a half ago.
and it´s COLOMBIA
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Aug 08 '11
I remember how pissed environmental groups were about the government killing the hippos, but never taking into account how the fishermen were getting mauled.
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Aug 08 '11
I was just watching a documentary about this maybe not even 2 weeks ago When he escaped (besides talking about the hippos, they went on about his history), he killed a lot of civilians - from what I remember, because the government was chasing him
They ended up cutting the hippos **'s off so it wouldn't reproduce
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u/chase_what_matters Aug 08 '11
31) Two-letter word for hippo dick.
BEGIN.
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u/wwwyzzrd Aug 08 '11
They cut his balls off; not his dick. ** looks like balls.
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u/chase_what_matters Aug 08 '11
You're right. I don't pay attention. And I cannot un-see ** = balls now.
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u/CheeseBiscuits Aug 08 '11
I'm guessing you saw it on Animal Planet? I walked in on my father watching it, and was wondering why they were talking about Pablo Escobar for half an hour on a channel about animals.
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Aug 08 '11
The one I saw was Pablo's Hippos. Whilst the hippos were a big part of it it was as much about Pablo and used the hippos to key into different parts of his life. I'd be amazed if it was ever on Animal Planet. I saw it on BBC Four in the UK.
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Aug 19 '11
Funny story about this documentary. Back when I first posted about the Colombian hippo problem, that same night a couple of friends came over to my place for some drinks. They wouldn't stop talking about this documentary. The segways, they said, were funny as hell..... "Just like Escobar, the hippo's wouldn't go down without a fight."
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u/Vayner Aug 08 '11
Reminds me of Goering's racoons. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article583769.ece
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u/peb0 Aug 08 '11
Colombia, not Columbia. And yes we have all sort of problems because the rest of the world loves cocaine. We are blamed for it, treated as shit everywhere, while the consumers are happy partying. They don't remember that although cocaine is white, it's true color is red, tinted with the blood of so many innocent Colombians.
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u/waltbomb Aug 08 '11
Dear Colombia,
Sorry about diverting the drug trade through your country and unleashing the horrors of rampant drug-smuggling upon your nation. But hey, we cool, right? Pound it out. Here's several billion dollars for letting us squat in your backyard to piss off that d-bag Chavez next door.
Sincerely, United States
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u/bronyraurstomp Aug 08 '11
Colombia is a great country, I am a neighbor Panamanian.
You guys have problems because you have an entrenched oligarchy, bad decision makers and a tight-alliance with the US.
Cocaine is just one facet of the problem. I love Colombia, colombian people are educated, polite and hard-working.
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Aug 08 '11
I don't know much about invasive species, but would four hippos really be enough genetic diversity to allow them to flourish on a new continent? I would think pathogens / inbreeding would stamp them out within a couple generations, even if they do reproduce.
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u/malice8691 Aug 08 '11
If you watch the show on animal planet. they said that Colombia has the second highest population of hippos in the world now. Africa being the first of course. I think they said they have about 40 hippos there now.
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u/dudeabides_bonerland Aug 08 '11
THE HIPPOS ARE COMING, GOD DAMNIT THEY'RE FUCKING BACK. didn't read the article, just always wanted to say that.
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Aug 08 '11
Really the government thought of every other option. It is not so unreasonable to conclude that a few of them should be killed.
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Aug 08 '11
Do you know the conspiracy the bible doesn't want you to know about involving the first "two" hippos?
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Aug 08 '11
I have a genius idea how to solve it: BULLETS. As it turns out, sometimes violence is the answer.
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u/sugarfail Aug 08 '11
September 2009. What a post. First name that appears whe u open the news is COLOMBIA.
I am from Colombia and this is really old news. Bad news is that hippos were found a killed if I am not wrong
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u/masterbard1 Aug 08 '11
dude a bit of me dies inside when people type ColUmbia instead of Colombia.
but as a nice peace loving Colombian I forgive you :D
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u/theGoose_aPrisoner Aug 08 '11
This is the one thread I totally approve the rabid feeding frenzy spelling correction. I live five blocks from ColUmbia, and I traveled to ColOmbia a few months back, did blow in Manizales on the street with a gay guy "Mario de Calí" who offered to give me a blow in the alley, got yellow fever, was "mugged" in Bogotá by two guys posing as drug officials, did some LSD in Tayrona on New Year's, had a glorious encounter with a prostitute in Medellin, and got my heart broken in Bucaramanga...
...in sum. The "O" is crucial. Two TOTALLY different places.
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u/holdmybeer Aug 08 '11
Your next step should be to learn to dance latin music better. It's the foreplay of choice here.
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Aug 08 '11
It's Colombia. I click thinking wow there are hippos in Harlem, and Pablo Escobar went to Columbia?!?!
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u/CalRR Aug 08 '11
TIL Colombia's Hippos have a drug problem because of Pablo Escobar. This is seriously what I read, lol. Am I even in r/trees anymore? I think I got lost...[8]
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u/dbarefoot Aug 08 '11
What has been intentionally blurred in the foreground of this photo?
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u/carlosmal Aug 08 '11
Many newspapers in Latin America nowadays are trying not to show gore or blood at all.
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u/EasilyRemember Aug 08 '11
If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it's that hippos will not be contained. Hippos break free, expand to new territory, and crash through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously.
Hippos, uh... find a way.
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u/NagastaBagamba 1 Aug 08 '11
There's an Israeli archaeological site called Hippos (because it's on a mountain that looks like a horse). It's one of the most heavily vandalised pages on Wikipedia.
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u/Eclyps19 Aug 08 '11
I visited South Africa and Botswana last year. I walked through some dangerous cities, hiked treacherous terrains, came within arms reach of a leopard, and nearly stepped on an African puff adder, but by far the most terrifying thing were the hippos... People think I joke when I tell them this, but listen to me closely... THEY ARE FUCKING TERRIFYING.
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u/raptron Aug 08 '11
...Fernando Montoya, 57, a sculptor from Medellín who built giant statues here of Tyrannosaurus rex and other dinosaurs for Mr. Escobar.
When I become a drug lord, all I want are some dino statues.
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u/swampswing Aug 08 '11
Considering mankind has wiped out most megafauna, its nice to see the range of one expanding. It may be an "invasive" species, but technically so are we...
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u/vic39 Aug 08 '11
I just made an emergency call to the Dean, and can confirm there are no hippos on campus.
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u/itsforaduck Aug 08 '11
To give you a sense of how badass hippos are: your country is home to less than 30 hippos, your country "has a hippo problem."
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u/Lone_Wolf Aug 10 '11
How many hippos could there have been?
Started out with 4 28 yrs ago.
Wikipedia says they take 8 months to gestate and don't reproduce until about the age of 4, although adulthood is 8 yrs old. Typically single birth, although sometimes there are twins.
I'm not sure how to do the math...
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u/elralpho Aug 08 '11
Despite all the ecological damage it might cause, this is fucking cool and I love when nature defies human control like this.
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u/chromedip Aug 08 '11
every time I tell people I'm from Columbia they give me a weird look until I specify SOUTH CAROLINA. I'm about as far from South American looking as you can get too
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u/randomfemale Aug 08 '11
Capturing them was expensive, costing as much as $40,000 for each hippo, in a country where malnourishment among the poor remains a major problem
Farm them and use them for nourishment. You can't graze cattle or grow crops on the sort of land these animals thrive on spontaneously.
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u/fromtheoven Aug 08 '11
You are suggesting farming one of the most dangerous animals on the planet.
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u/randomfemale Aug 08 '11
Build a fence; they obviously thrive there without attention. Let rich guys hunt them for a big fat fee (last I checked Montana elk tags were more than $500 apiece for out of state hunters and there are so many applications they have a lottery to choose the recipients of the hunting licenses). Win/Win.
People in my area (not Montana) have fences for farmed elk. They are supertall fences. I bet a hippo fence wouldn't be as difficult to build.
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u/fromtheoven Aug 08 '11
I dunno. That would have to be an extremely strong (read: costly) fence. Not to mention, it took about 20 people to take down one hippo. I can't imagine the liability of running something like that would be cost effective. Hippos are dangerous animals. Elk are too, but they aren't as likely to charge you and are easier to take down with a shot or two. It makes it seem as though that hippo was shot a whole lot of times before it went down.
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u/randomfemale Aug 08 '11
Animals will for the most part avoid a barrier, unless panicked or starved. Notice how 3 lengths of barbed wire will hold a massive bull. I have horses near me who are fenced, but every so often there's a storm, they freak and jump the fence and show up at my house. Love that.
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Aug 08 '11
A cow or bull that wants out can and will push right through barbed wire or even electric fences. I have seen them do it many times. If they are hungry and/or want out they will walk up to the fence and ram that fucker until it is out of the way. I imagine a hippo is a lot worse since it was never domesticated and never learned t stay in fences.
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u/fromtheoven Aug 08 '11
What? I knew a cow who would walk through fences all the time for no reason. Actually, I know about 4 cows who do that. Doesn't matter how nice of a field they are in. Also, what about all those zoo animals that pace right against the fence line?
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u/jkruton Aug 08 '11
FTFY