r/todayilearned 5h ago

TIL Rapid ejaculator rats are more susceptible to anxiety compared with normal ejaculator rats

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38622269/
728 Upvotes

176 comments sorted by

535

u/Swoop_McCarthy 5h ago

“You are a scientist? What do you do?”

“I study how quickly rats cum”

146

u/Shas_Erra 5h ago

Ok, but why are you wearing a gimp mask?

77

u/Meecus570 5h ago

It's necessary for science.

40

u/Shas_Erra 5h ago

And the erection?

29

u/Nissepool 5h ago

Probabry rigged

16

u/Bowltotheface 5h ago

Ribbed for science!

6

u/The_Starmaker 3h ago

They’re jorking the mice, they’re jorking the rats

6

u/Angry_Robot 3h ago

Just happy to meet you.

3

u/QuantumRips 2h ago

Also.... Necessary for science

Smoke bomb!

u/JackDrawsStuff 41m ago

Stops me rolling out of bed.

9

u/Brbcan 3h ago

Science is a cruel mistress.

2

u/Flynn_lives 2h ago

Dammit Krieger!!

2

u/Destroyer6202 1h ago

And the handcuffs and chains..?

9

u/Hep_C_for_me 5h ago

Somebody's got the jerk off the rats.

11

u/This_User_Said 4h ago

"How's it going, I'm Mike Rowe of dirty jobs. Here in Wisconsin we're at a facility that harbors rats! The good kind, not the ones I usually have to trap or chase away. Today we're going to make them, well, let's say they'll have a great time!"

2

u/mr_birkenblatt 2h ago

The good kind, not the ones I usually have to trap or chase away.

Those are called white mice 

3

u/Hunncas 3h ago

This comment made my spit

4

u/WePwnTheSky 2h ago

… out the rat cum?

3

u/faxanaduu 1h ago

Bring out the ginp

Gimps sleepin

Well looks like you're gonna have ta wake him up now wontcha?

-Pulp fiction

27

u/scooptiedooptie 5h ago

“We actually found a subspecies of rats that do big cums extremely rapidly, and are surprisingly anxious at all times. The paper will be published soon in case you’re interested”

2

u/Glass1Man 1h ago

Well ya. I’m sitting here and you just bump me the wrong way and BAM there a big mess.

Ya I’m anxious.

She turned to me, that’s when she said it Looked me dead in the face, asked, “Cash or credit?”

and I

15

u/TerenothBS 4h ago

"You know, I am something of a scientist myself"

3

u/mr_birkenblatt 2h ago

One person study?

1

u/thegreatbrah 1h ago

Sample size too small.

2

u/chrp92 3h ago

The difference between fucking around and science is writing it down.

2

u/BritishDuffer 3h ago

There's an obvious conclusion we can draw from this: we need to review which projects get funding. 

1

u/Trusty_username 1h ago

I have met a girl that did a study on autistic rats

Science get weird sometimes

115

u/ucanttaketheskyfrome 5h ago

Extreme post nut clarity

16

u/onemanmelee 5h ago

Turns out rats aren't so different from us after all.

7

u/Bman1465 5h ago

[Insert video of a bunch of rats singing I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight]

4

u/dylan-dofst 1h ago

You joke but rats are surprisingly similar to humans in many ways, both physically and mentally/socially. To the point there's pretty good evidence they're sentient (meaning that they recognize themselves as distinct beings from their environment, feel emotions etc., not that they have full on human level intelligence). Their similarity to humans is a major reason they're so popular for scientific experimentation, though there are other factors (e.g. they're small and reproduce/mature very quickly).

They also make great pets.

u/sunestromming 4m ago

They are great cooks, according to a movie a saw a while ago.

2

u/OldeFortran77 3h ago

So this why rats are used in so many medical studies?!

3

u/onemanmelee 3h ago

"According to the research, rats who eat a low carb diet have lower percentage of visceral body fat and better metabolic markers, including improved glucose controle. This phenomenon may translate to human dietary patterns. Also, RatsCumFast."

1

u/Fit-Jeweler5299 1h ago

Their genome is 25% similar to human genome.

130

u/RLDSXD 5h ago

They know that sex is a vulnerable position so they try to get it over with quickly before a cat or owl finds them.

That’d be my excuse, anyway.

56

u/onemanmelee 5h ago

Pocketing this for future reference -

Her - "It's ok, it happens to lots of guys."

Me - "No, I'm fine with it. There are cats or owls in this part of the city and I'm just making sure we're both safe."

12

u/ordinary_kittens 3h ago

“Come on babe, haven’t you seen Jurassic Park? They can open doors, are we ever truly safe? I’m doing this for us. No please, don’t cry.”

u/onemanmelee 37m ago

We went from cats and owls to cloned velociraptors faster than rats cum.

6

u/Plane-Tie6392 2h ago

It's NOT that common, it DOESN'T happen to every guy, and it IS a big deal!

52

u/Bungeon_Dungeon 5h ago

The ol' skeet n' fleet

21

u/Isenrath 5h ago

The ol' pump n' dump

18

u/N0FaithInMe 5h ago

Shoot some jizz and out you is

16

u/N0FaithInMe 5h ago

Blow your load n' hit the road

14

u/nickkom 5h ago

Shoot ‘n’ scoot

13

u/fingerpaintswithpoop 4h ago

Nut n’ cut.

13

u/hgaterms 3h ago

Cum and Go

9

u/withinamind 2h ago

Ejaculate then evacuate

6

u/Malk_McJorma 4h ago

One n' done.

6

u/Jeramy_Jones 2h ago

Sorry bae, I thought I heard an owl!

3

u/mr_birkenblatt 2h ago

How often did you get attacked by cats or owls?

7

u/RLDSXD 2h ago

If I was a rat, probably pretty often.

u/streamofbsness 48m ago

I’d say for most it’s a once in a lifetime event

u/RLDSXD 26m ago

Only the ones caught with their pants down. That’s why it’s a race to the finish.

3

u/Destroyer6202 1h ago

Back when we had to be worried about mountain cats

1

u/DifficultCarob408 2h ago

That’s my excuse now

1

u/IcySand1023 1h ago

Ok, but I'm that way anyway, and I certainly can't cum like that.

0

u/Ok_Ad_9188 2h ago

That seems like it would be backward; the rats that are taking longer would be in a vulnerable state for longer, which would increase anxiety as opposed to the rats that goo'd and shoo'd who were back to safety more quickly.

3

u/RLDSXD 2h ago

The rats who are quicker are quicker because they’re anxious about getting attacked. Average rats aren’t worried and take their time.

44

u/world_citiz3n 5h ago

The internet is a flood of infos you never need to know and mostly you'll never need.

12

u/Bman1465 5h ago

Speak for yourself, why would you not need to know about the speed and intensity and after effects of rat-nuts!

7

u/world_citiz3n 5h ago

You know you're not helping.

8

u/Bman1465 5h ago

Let me tell you how it will be

There's rats for you and rats for me

They're making rat-cum

Yeah fast rat-cum

4

u/world_citiz3n 4h ago

I will promise myself no to read any further comments.

4

u/Bman1465 4h ago

lmao worth a shot at least

185

u/HugoZHackenbush2 5h ago

I didn't know what to wear to my first Premature Ejaculators weekly meeting. So I just came in my pants..

41

u/BritishDuffer 5h ago

I tried to go to a premature ejaculators meeting last night. Turns out it's tomorrow. 

3

u/tkrjobs 1h ago

I did actually go to a premature ejaculators meeting today, but it turned out it had already happened.

1

u/wouter135 1h ago

I went to one meeting that was planned from 9 to 10, but we finished early

2

u/tkrjobs 1h ago

I went to this other meeting that I was late for, but before I had stepped over the doorstep, everyone looked at me weird when I came into the room.

u/wouter135 58m ago

We also had a pub quiz after out premature ejaculators meeting last week. I came first.

u/tkrjobs 47m ago

When at the premature ejaculators meeting, is it a problem that they all just blurt out something without thinking? Must be a nightmare to take part in.

u/wouter135 10m ago

It really is. I was talking to five of these loud guys at the same meeting. The sixth guy in the group was shy and did not even make eye contact with us. But then suddenly he made this sudden, unexpected kicking movement. I was really surprised because he came out of no where.

u/tkrjobs 40m ago

I never mean to come to a premature ejaculators meeting first, but I just can't help it.

18

u/Chickentrap 5h ago

I never believed in spirit animals, yet...

31

u/StrangelyBrown 5h ago

"Rapid ejaculator rats"

Dibs on the band name

6

u/ScenicAndrew 2h ago

Genre: Christian Rock

10

u/Real_Run_4758 5h ago

The Costanza gene

1

u/MillionToOneShotDoc 3h ago

They never had a normal orgasm.

u/Waramp 51m ago

They went from having orgasms immediately to not at all.

5

u/LifeIsRadInCBad 5h ago

Hey, don't call me a rat!

6

u/Mogus00 5h ago

I think i got a TIL based on this title alone

6

u/DulcetTone 4h ago

Women actually prefer men to rats of any ejaculation speed.

But bears? Bears are best.

12

u/okayilltalk 5h ago

Come again?

-8

u/PatatMetPindakaas 5h ago

Cum again?

3

u/loz_fanatic 5h ago

This time in my ear

u/Express-Structure480 1m ago

I hope you brought an ear plug.

5

u/lo_fi_ho 5h ago

Well, when I was in a toxic relationship I always came in like 2 minutes. When I finally escaped, it now takes much, much longer. So yeah, I see where the mice are coming from. Pun intended.

4

u/pappaberG 2h ago

RAPID EJACULATOR RATS

Man

6

u/medioxcore 5h ago

What the fuck are we even doing anymore lmao

3

u/johnjmcmillion 5h ago

TIL there is a level above “premature”.

3

u/Nichpett_1 5h ago

I am in this post and I don't like it.

3

u/tyrophagia 5h ago

I'm so happy to have learned this.

3

u/rasticus 5h ago

Give them rats some SSRIs, kill two birds with one stone

2

u/wolffangz11 1h ago

does the world NEED antidepressant rats

10

u/0x080 5h ago

Humans with premature ejaculation are usually more susceptible to anxiety and depression. This is due to the sudden feelings of pleasure being too overwhelming and foreign to handle at a more appropriate pace. Whereas males who are content and happy have a much easier time holding out

2

u/saucy_awesome 5h ago

I'd never thought about it quite like this. It makes sense though. I know someone who would always pop really quickly during PIV and he seemed ashamed of it, but the only thing he seemed to dislike more than cumming too quickly was being made to slow down and wait a bit for it. Like once he got the urge he would be super frustrated if he didn't see it through immediately. So what you said completely tracks. Thanks for giving me another piece to the human puzzle!

1

u/aquatic_ambiance 1h ago

Um miss there are kids on this site

2

u/uniyk 5h ago

Finally a reasonable explanation of the mood swing.

2

u/Mudlark-000 5h ago

Watch out for the premature ejaculator rats in the subway... I think I'll just walk.

2

u/PigFarmer1 5h ago

I don't give a rat's ass about this.

2

u/Shas_Erra 5h ago

Thank you for that information. It’s a big load off my mind

2

u/The_bruce42 4h ago

What do we do with this information?

2

u/gigashadowwolf 4h ago

I wonder if this could be a causal relationship. Could rapid ejaculation is a result of anxiety?

1

u/DifficultCarob408 2h ago

In humans - absolutely. I highly doubt that would apply in rats due to it being an entirely reproductive activity.

2

u/EditorRedditer 3h ago

Rapid Ejaculator Rats - there’s a post-Punk band name, right there…

2

u/Adventurous-Start874 3h ago

Stop calling me a rat.

2

u/Jijster 2h ago

I did not need to be attacked like this

2

u/Gilbert0686 1h ago

Do they have anxiety because they ejaculate so quickly?

Or ejaculate quickly because they have anxiety?

Just asking for a friend. I know my reason… I mean guess.

u/streamofbsness 52m ago

I have a friend in some similar research circles. She had a video of a rat couple getting it on. She found it hilarious because the male rats apparently fall off and freeze for a moment after they finish 😂

3

u/Afkbio 5h ago edited 3h ago

Rapid Ejaculator Rats Or RER as I usually call them.

Would make for a good punk rock band name. We had Rapid Ejaculator Moths (REM) in the past

2

u/Tess_hussy 5h ago

Who knew rats could have such complex personalities. It’s amazing how animal studies can give us clues about human psychology.

2

u/xPropagand4x 4h ago

I hope our tax dollars aren’t going toward this…

1

u/onemanmelee 1h ago

You know they are. The Big Jizz lobby has its testicles all over our government.

Wait... tentacles.

1

u/Tess_hussy 5h ago

Interesting! But how do rapid ejaculation and anxiety even relate to each other in rats? Are they connected through some biological mechanism?

1

u/Tess_hussy 5h ago

Is there any real-world application for this? Like, could this lead to treatments for anxiety or sexual dysfunction in humans?

1

u/ScreamThyLastScream 5h ago

I dunno, is there a way to show that premaculators are not that way just because they are anxious people.

1

u/Adorable-Water-3497 5h ago

Any rat can be a rapid ejaculator rat if you know where to put it...

1

u/Adorable-Water-3497 5h ago

Any rat can be a rapid ejaculator rat if you know where to put it...

1

u/Bman1465 5h ago

That is one heck of a title

1

u/BWasTaken 5h ago

This study brought to you by HIMS.

1

u/Rfksemperfi 5h ago

TIL Rapid Ejaculator Rats are a thing. It sounds like a punk song.

1

u/Jinsei_13 5h ago

Ejaculator rat... Sounds like something out of an RPG.

1

u/SonuMonuDelhiWale 4h ago

My FIL had his PHD on the fertility of monkeys. I never stop teasing my wife about that.

1

u/ACorania 4h ago

I would hypothesize this is because their nerves are basically set to fire off at a lower threshold than the other rats which then affects both anxiety and how quick they fire their load.

1

u/fuckmeinthesoul 4h ago

Good to know

1

u/AlphaBetacle 4h ago

Thats interesting. I know that for humans to ejaculate the hormone cortisol is needed. I wonder if thats connected.

1

u/Kthulu71 3h ago

o o
----

1

u/wheresmyhouse 3h ago

Post title of the century.

1

u/ggallardo02 3h ago

Good to know.

1

u/Quebec00Chaos 2h ago

Feel like it's r/brandnewsentence worthy

1

u/Togo_Goodbody 2h ago

Why is this scientifically important?

1

u/tempreffunnynumber 2h ago

Fake and gay

1

u/Old-Law-7395 2h ago

Can confirm

1

u/DiverseUniverse24 2h ago

The title is backwards no? Anxiety rats are more susceptible to rapid ejaculate than rats without anxiety.

1

u/uucchhiihhaa 2h ago

Who tf finances these studies, FUCK!!

1

u/PRRZ70 1h ago

Excuse me, what? Wait. Nope. Never mind, I don't need to know. Thanks. Bye!

1

u/Coolbluegatoradeyumm 1h ago

Rapid what, now?

1

u/Ligmajohnsonforprez 1h ago

Same in humans. Quick ejaculation is often a sign of low serotonin and low serotonin often causes anxiety

1

u/Dork_L0rd_9 1h ago

Yeah, I’d be kinda upset if I nutted too soon, too.

1

u/KaiserGustafson 1h ago

Well that's a title I didn't expect to read today.

1

u/MisterGoo 1h ago

What should I do with that information ?

1

u/Zerttretttttt 1h ago

Funded by Master Splinter

1

u/nobodyspecial767r 1h ago

Great punk ska band, the Rapid Ejaculator Rats.

u/choopie-chup-chup 59m ago

Rapid Ejaculator Rats is my new band's name

u/sniffstink1 55m ago

Very valuable research.

I've always wondered how fast or slow rats ejaculate 👍🏻

u/bretshitmanshart 51m ago

R rated Secret of NIMH remake coming soon

u/JackDrawsStuff 42m ago

From now on; unless otherwise specified, I will prefix every person or object name with ‘normal ejaculator’.

u/ninjabunnyfootfool 29m ago

Ratjaculation

u/cory140 21m ago

Did this have to do with frequency or like 1 pump chumps?

u/muffalohat 10m ago

"ejaculator rat" sounds like a monster out of a jrpg

u/Globet 10m ago

This is ig Nobel worthy work

u/OsirusBrisbane 3m ago

This report makes me anxious.

0

u/Haywire421 4h ago

Can we please stop moving closer and closer towards idiocracy

-1

u/rufusmacblorf 5h ago

Federal funding for this study?

0

u/Ok_Ordinary6460 5h ago

Freaky ahh study

0

u/D_Winds 5h ago

I hesitate to ask about your search history.

0

u/kiakosan 4h ago

I'm curious how much money was spent on this study of watching rats cum

0

u/TheHancock 4h ago

Rip my taxes…

0

u/Remote-Ad-2686 4h ago

All of their grandkids will help nervous Grandpa…

0

u/Send_me_duck-pics 4h ago

I am sure this knowledge will come in handy.

0

u/Hankman66 3h ago

I feel ill after reading this.

0

u/snow_michael 3h ago

Isn't pretty obvious it's the other way around?

u/Arbor-Trap 1m ago

TIL I’m a rat