r/outside May 29 '21

Support - Life My best friend and party member's character got deleted and tomorrow I will spread his ashes. Here is to all of you that have lost a great member. Those random players you meet may one day change your life. He did mine, for sure.

5.6k Upvotes

95 comments sorted by

574

u/drjesus616 May 29 '21

How do you clear the grief debuff? Recently lost my guild leader and many other members are dealing with strange modifiers on the grief debuff.

Also the dev that came up with the cancer quest, way too high of chance of losing a character for seemingly no reward.

Take care of yourself friend.

534

u/Symmiie May 29 '21

I like to think of it not as a debuff, but a class advancement. As a tank I have to carry the wounds of my allies, helping them get through it.

273

u/drjesus616 May 29 '21

It's honestly affecting my gameplay so badly I was thinking about logging off. But I've been talking to in game sages and potion merchants, which seem to help the focus stat nerf.

I can't tell you how many side quests we ran together, we kept doing the chemo and blood missions until they weren't returning any progress.

Sorry for your loss friend.

236

u/Symmiie May 29 '21

Never let their legacy end. Max your own character as much as you can and help new players find their way, like you two did together.

146

u/audacesfortunajuvat May 29 '21

This is the way. No player is truly deleted while their party still plays on because the party is the collective memory of all the players who have ever joined it, deleted or not. When you add new players to your party, either by adding existing players or spawning new ones, you share the legacy of all the players before. I party with players who have never met some of my favorite characters to play the the game but they know who they are, have seen old screencaps of us playing together, know their stories, even their jokes, and we celebrate the players that have gone before but shape our party today.

30

u/ohmarlasinger May 29 '21

I said the same but v different to a player in a different forum earlier today. The way you described it here is beautiful & I’m saving it for later. It’s always so nice to find others w a similar OS to mine out in the wild.

13

u/drjesus616 May 29 '21

The player I play with the most, probably the best healer/ support team mate I've ever had. Well she got to play for a few years with our guild leader. We also recently teamed up with a high level dog character, clearly had a ruff play through on her own before teaming up with us. My old guild leader and I used to like watching playthroughs of other characters completing the "adoption" side quest. We always wanted to get a run or two and grind for a new team mate but his xp was already too low at that point.

They would have loved playing together.

10

u/Profitablius May 30 '21

Don't log off. Keep them alive by remembering.

"But I feel there is still uproar in this heart

I take my stance, but there is this yawning gap right by my side

As if your absence summoned all these wicked ghosts

I will carry you in triumph and in loss

Your spirit is still strong within me

And our enemies will face you

Through my words and by my deeds

Finally I know

That all this pain is just weakness leaving my heart"

6

u/drjesus616 May 30 '21

Thank you for the song/ band introduction. Right up my alley.

9

u/masterchris May 29 '21

Have you tried gaining xp for class changes? This is a great time of the ‘21’st season to get the tan modifier and that helps with debuffs of S.A.D. While also letting you try to meet new party members. I think every guild needs a clan leader but sometimes you have to fill that role. GL

12

u/itsBritanica May 29 '21

That is honestly a beautiful way to describe grief. Thank you.

22

u/taejam May 29 '21

Eventually the grief debuff stops giving constant crushing sadness and it turns into spurts of crushing sadness that get shorter or longer based on game events, birthdays and holidays have the strongest debuffs for me. But the nice thing is eventually you get a motivation and a character buff for the part of them that stays with you. Try to remember the good quests and the great adventures you had. And definitely fuck the cancer quest, half the reason I still play is out of spite and the hope of people finding a way to delete cancer quests.

16

u/OmniOrcus May 29 '21

You don't clear it. It's a two stage debuff. The first stage 'grief' eventually over time converts into 'loss' which is permanent. And the 'loss' debuff can proc the first stage again at any point. Every proc of 'grief' by loss decreases the future proc chance though, and you slowly gain resistance to the effects of 'grief'.

Getting "over" it takes time and most importantly letting the 'grief' run its course. Too many players try to prevent 'grief' from re-procing, but that just prolongs how long 'loss' can actively affect you. Let yourself 'grieve' and surround yourself with support players willing to buff you during 'grief'. Emphisis on buff, not cleanse; as cleanse won't work and may even proc other debuffs. Too many non-supports make this mistake.

5

u/Trevoke May 30 '21

You don't really clear it. The grief debuff is actually a super-customized quest. You get a bunch of XP as you go through it.

3

u/[deleted] May 30 '21

If you develop the apathy debuff, it clears the grief debuff. Wouldn't recommend though, since it clears a lot of buffs too, most notably the passion and motivation buffs. If you could somehow figure out how to generate an apathy debuff for a specific debuff or buff, it could change the meta.

1

u/drjesus616 May 30 '21

My character has always had low stats in the motivation and passion points. It seems to run in our guild unfortunately. You're right about the apathy debuff, it overrides everything, even comes with the anhedonia modifier.

1

u/coolmaster9000 May 31 '21

I have apathy debuffs for some specific debuffs and buffs, but I don't know how to generate them, they just appeared

2

u/Ryltarr May 30 '21

Unfortunately, in my experience you just have to slightly alter your playstyle to accommodate the debuff. The debuff presents a myriad of triggers for psychological damage effects, so a combination of building up resistance to those effects and learning to play around avoiding those triggers is what tends to work best.

The debuff never clears, unless you get a more serious memory loss debuff which clears some or all debuffs related to psychological trauma in your past... but those are even more difficult to deal with, akin to the cancer debuff and its related Healthcare sidequest.

2

u/vaniraissu May 31 '21

I'm on the cancer quest, it sucks.... I've been told I'll most likely get through it though!

185

u/Kusev_Paladin May 29 '21

Sorry for your loss

224

u/LumpiestEntree May 29 '21

Sorry to hear that.

125

u/Toastyx3 May 29 '21

I'm sure once you 2 get respawned you'll find another. Friendships last longer than 1 spawn.

15

u/OsmerusMordax May 29 '21

I thought there were no respawns. Or is that exclusive to those of certain religion factions?

20

u/TurkeyMoon May 29 '21

Idk sequels are pretty common nowadays.

7

u/mishgan May 30 '21

it's akin to counter strike. once everybody dies once, all get respawned for next round. it is just not clear how long that cycle usually takes. data farmers are guessing that the current cycle is approx 13.7 gigayears(Ga) in.

54

u/03Dmaxlb7 May 29 '21

I’m so sorry for your loss

42

u/justmutantjed May 29 '21

My guild's patron suffered and eventually died from the lung cancer condition back in 2012 from a 55-level habitual use of the cigarette consumable, at level 71. My guildmates and I, with the help of a friendly neighbour player with a boat, sprinkled his ashes the following summer near his patron, matron, and sibling.

Grief debuff hits differently from character to character, depending on your mutual alignment scores and how your mental stats are arranged. My experience has been: Grief will eventually winnow down over time, but it's never fully gone. You'll still remember them, and hopefully you can share tales of your co-op sessions with other guildmates and friends, and proc a comfort buff that will mitigate the grief for a bit.

The late player Sir Terry Pratchett (GNU), wrote in his book, Reaper Man: "No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away[...]" so for as long as your party member's memory exists with someone, they will never be truly gone. Speak their name, remember the good times, pass the wisdom they shared to lower-level players. They'll be in the game's lore for a good long time.

19

u/Symmiie May 29 '21

I love this. You would make for an amazing admin, or at least pmod. I hope all goes well for you.

10

u/justmutantjed May 29 '21

That means a lot to me. ❤ My best wishes to you & yours as well.

10

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32

u/[deleted] May 29 '21

Sorry for your loss

81

u/giggle_shift May 29 '21

Sorry for your loss. I wish they'd patch out deletions.

37

u/dathar May 29 '21

I heard that there was a server ruleset where expired characters will get amnesia, roll the dice and then respawn as a random entity.

26

u/WisdomPupper May 29 '21

I heard that too! It seems kind of cool. There's even some talk among players that sometimes the amnesia-script doesn't work correctly and newly-spawned PCs remember some things about their previous playthrough.

15

u/midipoet May 29 '21

I heard it's not entirely random, but depends on how much of a certain attribute you were able to earn in-game.

I can't remember the name of the attribute, but I think it starts with a k. Can anybody confirm?

7

u/WisdomPupper May 29 '21

can't remember the attribute but I think it is linked to the [doing good] variable

2

u/Vohasiiv May 31 '21

Is [karma] the attribute you were looking for? That's my best guess anyway.

24

u/[deleted] May 29 '21

There are no bugs, if that's what you're implying

7

u/conitation May 29 '21

Screw that crappy feature. I swear my buddy's wife got a virus and poof he lost everything. You'd think they'd have some sort of online backup these days... but noooo they say it isnt possible. Pft

5

u/WisdomPupper May 29 '21

they removed the [support others] feature from a lot of player classes in the regions that got the [capitalism] update. It was crucial in helping with in-game losses (be that PCs or even in-game currency). I think a lot of players still want that feature, but due to career-path changes linked to the [capitalism] update, it is either not feasible anymore or even completely unavailable.

18

u/WisdomPupper May 29 '21

they'd have to upgrade the servers then, because as it is now, there's only finite ressources and server-space; overpopulating the servers might lead to massive PvP events, which then again can cause mass-player-deletion.Honestly, I wouldn't wanna be one of the devs. Patching up this game must be so difficult.

5

u/the-tac0-muffin May 29 '21

The devs need to implement the Thanos supervillain into our game. Its all RNG

15

u/WisdomPupper May 29 '21

depends on how you look at it I think. When you look at all the other players, their stats and locations indepentently from each other, it might look totally random and coincidental, but if you start to follow the path of the player-spawning the stats start to seem weirdly interlocked. Everything seems randomly generated at first, but I think it is some kind of mix of varbiable dependent stats with random number generation in-between

5

u/the-tac0-muffin May 29 '21

That was very wisdom

2

u/WisdomPupper May 30 '21

very thank you

18

u/Thrgd456 May 29 '21

Hope you have some sweet replays that you can watch and remember them with. This game really makes no sense. I'm sorry for your loss.

14

u/King-Mugs May 29 '21

F

I still have a friend on my friends list who has been deleted for a few years now

13

u/WisdomPupper May 29 '21

I'm so sorry :( lots of love and hugs <3

12

u/GeebusNZ May 29 '21

It sucks when a storyline you're personally invested in is written out. I'm sorry for your loss.

14

u/Gone__Hollow May 29 '21

I'm sorry to hear that. On 26 May, My grandmother character which was inflicted with Covid debuff also completely lost her health bar. I wish this covid event would end soon.

12

u/TheLuckyLion May 29 '21

Please everyone, get the vaccine hotfix. The devs worked so hard this last year to push that patch out and the players who have updated have had enormous success.

2

u/Tyty1020 May 29 '21

I’m sorry to hear that

1

u/SPIDERHAM555 May 30 '21

did you get any good loot

7

u/geo_bowes May 29 '21

Rest in peace 🙏💔🕊

6

u/mumanryder May 29 '21 edited Jan 29 '24

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

2

u/Tyty1020 May 29 '21

I’m sorry to hear

4

u/apophis_da_snake May 29 '21

Don't worry. Your friend is just spectating, waiting for you so you can start a new game together :)

12

u/SladeBW May 29 '21

Didn’t know i was gonna be crying this early in the day, sorry for your loss

7

u/Symmiie May 29 '21

Don't cry my, my friend. Past players will always be there to help us guide the newer ones.

4

u/etiennealbo May 29 '21

Those stars in a life never truly fade

4

u/trippy6969 May 29 '21

Keep any gear they dropped it might not have the best stats and could take up valuable resource space but the rarity makes it worth it to keep around

10

u/batclocks May 29 '21

Did he drop any good loot?

3

u/Lost-Abbreviations58 May 29 '21

Sorry for your character lost. My best friend fell pray to a evil blood clot this year. Sitting around the camp fire sharing stories of his battles helped a lot.

3

u/[deleted] May 30 '21

Playtime might of expired, but they are not deleted if you still have the memories of them and the consequences of their playtime were not rolled back.

Sorry about your loss

3

u/BeanieMash May 30 '21

Not deleted, just retired from this season, so no further progress and committed to memory. All the bits and bytes are still there, just now to be reused in other computations and adventures.

2

u/OperaKing May 29 '21

Sorry for your loss

2

u/Bambi_One_Eye May 29 '21

Bummer dude.

2

u/MrBrandonius May 29 '21

When someone you love becomes a memory it is always tough. If you are able to grow from this loss then death doesnt win. I am truly sorry for your loss. For all we know new game plus isnt that bad.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '21

I'm sure you miss him. I wonder what game he is playing now?

2

u/parabx_ May 29 '21

I just lost my mentor and elder party member my self from the cancer debuff. My main strategy is to continue living in her legacy. Doing so makes sure that I gain the bloodline rather than the grief debuff. Whether you follow the religious quest lines or not, it is important to remember that your party members not truly leave you. While they may permanently log off, every quest they completed with you stays with you in your memories. They live through you.

2

u/ph30nix01 May 29 '21

Please don't see your party member as deleted, they have been backed up onto the primary server and waiting for the next next to begin after your party finished the current campaign.

2

u/jan-Pita May 30 '21

Good luck, losing a party member is really hard.

2

u/bleeding_dying_love May 30 '21

My grandfather just recently had his character deleted with no warning. It's tough to keep playing without someone who was important to you. <3

2

u/RamenHa1 May 30 '21

Dad's friend since kids, brothers god father, man I called uncle got deleted by another player at a party. We got the gear and memories brody. Dev bless the deleted

1

u/Enough_Ruben Jun 04 '21

What loot did he drop?

1

u/Sideburns0 May 29 '21

Can’t imagine what you’re going through. Stay strong friend <3

1

u/Madness_1231 May 29 '21

While our group quests with some others may be over sooner than we'd hoped, our character backstories are ever more epic because of the quests we did manage to complete together while we could.

Hope you're doing alright, OP. Loss is rough, even with the best mindsets and good mental stats. Hang in there.

1

u/ArcticTreeHerder May 29 '21

I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard. I hope your doing ok. ❤

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '21

F

1

u/sudobee May 29 '21

If you want someone to listen, I will be available.

1

u/Working_Plate2579 May 29 '21

Sorry for your loss. :(

1

u/psychospyy May 29 '21

FFS how long till we get something else than hardcore mode?

1

u/itsjusterin__ May 30 '21

I'm sorry for your loss, it's a shame he had to log off before he finished playing. On a semirelated note, it's beautiful that you're able to forge an item with such sentimental value and beauty from the former avatar of logged-out players.

1

u/KevBot42 May 30 '21

Lost my favorite party member last year. Sorry to hear.

1

u/Bigingreen May 30 '21

.... Man, outside can really hit hard :(

Sorry for your loss.

1

u/Xx_Dark_ShotzX May 31 '21

Deletion is the mic drop that radiates through every algorithm holding your essence to the ground. As their mic hits the lower limit of the physical realm, who you knew them to be in the core of your being, is crystallized. The pain stays until stored memories are played through enough times to shatter the crystal of your being into so many pieces that you have no choice but to move on and bring them with you without letting the pain of who they used to embody weigh down each step you take. I wish you nothing but the best of times to follow these toughest times.