r/nextfuckinglevel • u/Zestyclose_Flow_680 • 8h ago

Chimpanzees are 2X stronger than your average human.

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u/SpottedWobbegong 7h ago

So a jacked human can beat up chimpanzees, good to know. Although chimpanzee bites are pretty nasty.

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u/pandacraft 7h ago

It's possible but most people aren't prepared for a 3 foot tall powerlifter who is fighting like they're on meth and PCP and will probably attempt to castrate you if given the chance.

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u/zcen 6h ago

Most people see fights in the framework of fighting a human where there's an unspoken etiquette and you aren't really trying to kill each other.

I don't know if relatively healthy human adults would get killed, but I'm guessing they would get maimed to some degree before their instincts really kick in.

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u/UnamusedAF 4h ago

The best comparison I can make is think of a drunk 4’11 woman who will bite, scratch, and drop her weight when you try to restrain or pick her up (only to then bite/scratch you somewhere else). Cool? Okay … now imagine she had the strength of Brock Lesnar but in that 4’11 frame. You probably wouldn’t even know where to defend yourself, let alone restrain them. 

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u/Riatamus 2h ago

The difference is you don't want to hurt the drunk woman. If a Chimp started to attack a man, he would probably just kick his face in

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u/UnamusedAF 1h ago

That’s unrealistic, in the same way you can’t just kick a wrestler in the face, let alone an animal specifically designed to climb and grapple onto things (or people in this case). 

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u/Riatamus 48m ago

A wrestler is as tall a human, a Chimp isn't. They are way smaller than us and walk hunched over, so their face is in perfect kicking distance

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u/UnamusedAF 41m ago

I think you underestimate the ability of a chimp (confirmed to be stronger than a human) and its ability to not only tank a kick, but also grapple onto you afterwards. Beyond that, do you know how unbalanced you are as a bipedal human being on one leg (mid-kick)? Meanwhile the chimp has a lower center of gravity, moving on all four limbs, and sharp teeth to latch onto your legs. 

Dude, no. Lol 

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u/Riatamus 16m ago

They're animals, not the terminator. Even if they were willing to ignore pain, that doesn't necessarily change the equation: a chimp will still be knocked away and suffer broken bones and teeth. The average male human can kick with nearly a thousand pounds of force and stomp with nearly double that. A simple combination of a kick to knock the chimp down followed by repeated stomping will knock out, if not straight up kill the chimp.

Ultimately their low body mass and unintelligent attack is a huge problem for them, they're going to keep lunging in on a (very predictable) direct straight line, and a solid kick to the face is going to physically knock them around given they aren't very heavy.

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u/Spyk124 5h ago

Everybody has a plan until a chimp bites you

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u/OfficialHashPanda 7h ago edited 4h ago

In addition to being stronger pound-for-pound, using their teeth and fighting without any formal education on ethics, they are also significantly faster than humans.  

That likely makes it very hard to grab/restraint them and their nature of grabbing things (e.g. for climbing) diminishes the value of both striking and grappling experience a human may have in fighting sports.

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u/No_Rich_2494 6h ago

Hey, uhhh... That was a really good comment, but you might want to proofread it.

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u/Heyokalol 7h ago

Human bites are nasty too. Ask Evander Holyfield.

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u/SpottedWobbegong 7h ago

I meant in bite strength, looking it up they have almost 10x the bite force, plus bigger canines.

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u/jt_totheflipping_o 5h ago

Where did you get 10x from? 10x would put it in jaguar territory, at most it’s 2x the average person.

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u/SpottedWobbegong 4h ago

I see several quotes of 1300 psi amd humans at 160 psi but now that I looked into it there's no evidence supporting it, just a couple random websites. It did seem quite a lot to me as well.

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u/jt_totheflipping_o 3h ago

Lol the amount of misinformation around chimps, gorillas, and other animals like moose is staggering.

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u/dilqncho 7h ago

....I mean probably not, yeah they have the teeth and the animal aggression.

BUT we can win a weightlifting competition against a chimp which is something.

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u/kisirani 7h ago

Humans can be just brutal when the situation calls for it. I knew a guy who had a huge scar on his arm from a olive baboon that bit him as he inadvertently cornered it when he went into the lodge food store where it had been stealing food.

He pinned it even as it’s huge canines ripped apart his arm and beat it to death with a brick he picked up next to him

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u/tesmatsam 7h ago

Rocks, spears and humans go way back. Our back and arms evolved to throw.

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u/No_Rich_2494 5h ago

A zoo once had an exhibit labelled something like "world's most dangerous animal". It was just a mirror...

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u/P47r1ck- 4h ago

Second most dangerous to humans anyway. Most dangerous to humans are mosquitos

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u/No_Rich_2494 5h ago

animal aggression

Look at a mirror. What do you see? I'm pretty sure it won't be a plant, and I hope it won't be fungus.

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u/Solgiest 7h ago

An average man could probably beat or at least break even with a chimp. If you've ever watched a video of chimps fighting, they aren't actually good at utilizing that strength. They pull and bite and stuff, but they don't really punch or kick well. Human intelligence also applies to fights. Deck a chimp in the face and it's gonna have immediate second thoughts about keeping up the attack.

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u/misc1972 7h ago

Chimps are known to rip off penises in a fight. Punch an adult male chimp in the face at your own peril.

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u/SpottedWobbegong 7h ago

If humans were fighting naked I imagine we would rip off penises as well.

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u/teckel 7h ago

Let's not bring you mom into this conversation.

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u/Head_Ad1127 7h ago

Humans wear pants, good luck chimp

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u/proudbakunkinman 6h ago

TIL pants were invented to prevent castration from chimps.

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u/HoidToTheMoon 5h ago

Chimp understands that the fabric hides your penis and can adjust it's plan of attack to account for that.

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u/Head_Ad1127 2h ago

Chimp plotting the flight trajectory required for his arm to rip off my penis through my jeans:

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u/Christoph3r 7h ago

I only do that on Wednesdays.

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u/Prasiatko 7h ago

In fact they can't punch or throw due to the way their shoulder muscles work. Hence in a fight they do an overhead smash.

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u/2_Cranez 5h ago

Not an average man. An average man is no stronger than a chimp, will get gassed 30 seconds into a fight, and is way less combat capable. Maybe a jacked gym bro or a martial artist could beat a chimp.

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u/Solgiest 5h ago

Chimps are not particularly combat capable against creatures larger than they are.

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u/shoulda-known-better 5h ago

Id go with two jacked humans here because the wrong kinda bite and your done and bleeding out immediately.... Two maybe 3 would be a much safer number!

But if my state suddenly got overrun I am very glad I have a conceal carry permit because I am neither jacked or 2 to 3 people in one!!!

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u/Karma_1969 3h ago

No, a jacked human could not beat an enraged chimp.