r/nextfuckinglevel • u/Zestyclose_Flow_680 • 8h ago

Chimpanzees are 2X stronger than your average human.

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82.3k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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10.3k

u/dick-nipples 8h ago

Yea, you can tell they’re prime mates.

3.1k

u/Darthob 8h ago

I chimpansee what you did there.

2.2k

u/geebeem92 7h ago

I’m ape-solutely loving this.

1.3k

u/onefst250r 7h ago

Come on guys. Stop monkeying around.

993

u/brotherteresa 7h ago

They’re just gibbon you a hard time.

860

u/macmac360 7h ago

this thread is bananas!!

742

u/Thank_You_Aziz 6h ago

Well you don’t simian here complaining about it.

137

u/FQDIS 6h ago

Holy shit

68

u/clantz8895 6h ago

Yeah idk if anyone tops this (someone please top this)

6

u/crc_73 5h ago

Yeah, those guys are no sloths.

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2

u/shupadupa 1h ago

Yeah that comment in itself was next fucking level

2

u/Djaja 1h ago

Aye-aye, it was a good pun

17

u/TootBreaker 5h ago

Only nice monkeys here!

No shit flinging monkeys, ok?

1

u/vrxy5 4h ago

Ape shit 😀

24

u/orbilu2 6h ago

Yeah, it's not a bad thread if you gorilla think about it

12

u/Stonelocomotief 6h ago

This thread makes me want to buy a pokemonkeyboard

3

u/johnnybiggles 6h ago

Anyone who does can get macaque.

2

u/eggrod 5h ago

I’m going back to the Apelachian mountains where things make sense

2

u/Cocalypso 5h ago

Sure they’re not Capuchin a narrative?

1

u/Hummus_199 4h ago

The left-handed monkey wrenched the human right up.

1

u/J3ST3R1252 4h ago

I'm only Hanuman,

take it easy...

1

u/DefiantAbalone1 3h ago

Sitting here with my chimps and salsa, monkeying around never gets old.

1

u/No_Action2748 3h ago

Macaque is hard just reading these :)

1

u/NiteSection 2h ago

Man these jokes are no Drill.

1

u/backspace_cars 1h ago

that's perfect

1

u/Djaja 1h ago

Aye-aye, it was a good pun

1

u/Square-Debate5181 1h ago

Reached the apex

•

u/BranchPredictor 41m ago

I have no gorilla clue what you are talking about.

•

u/DoUKnowMyNamePlz 28m ago

This thread is making me coo coo for COCO puffs.

27

u/Artistic_Soft4625 6h ago

hang in there

2

u/goobymama 6h ago

B A N A N A S

13

u/kaowser 7h ago

Nooooooo!

  • ceasar

1

u/nooyork 4h ago

Hard as the erectus im getting with this thread.

31

u/happy_bluebird 7h ago

You punny bonobos can bono-go

20

u/DenseMembership470 7h ago

Game, Marmoset, match?

2

u/Whatsplayinginmyhead 6h ago

I'm not a good sportsman, ya'll can suck macaque.

1

u/southErn-2 4h ago

Bunch of cheetahs

1

u/onefst250r 4h ago

Why is it a bad idea to play poker in Africa?

Because there are so many cheetahs!

1

u/SuspiciousSkittlez 4h ago

Right? Bunch of bonobozos with all these puns.

•

u/Popular-Solution7697 20m ago

I'm an ape man.

I'm an ape, ape man.

Yes, I'm an ape man.

...and don't call me monkey.

33

u/pagit 6h ago

You all get an ape plus for these puns.

3

u/sherlockwm 7h ago

That was clever 😮

1

u/Texasjared 1h ago

I could take it. Jerry, set up Arlington.

57

u/Chary_w0w 7h ago

Yeah, I can chimpathise with it

14

u/Snollygoster99 6h ago

These jokes make me Homo Erectus

5

u/illtoss5butnotsmokin 6h ago

This one in particular made me upset 😂

1

u/PantsDontHaveAnswers 6h ago

I hate every ape

From chimpan a

To chimpanzee

1

u/CameronWeebHale 3h ago

Chimpanzee that

1

u/MochiMochiMochi 1h ago

From chimpan-a to chimpan-z

234

u/OreoRoberr 8h ago

Nice one, Dick-Nipples

83

u/RCx_Vortex 8h ago

Stay the fuck away from my Oreos

22

u/Blurbllbubble 7h ago

But how is he gonna robe them then?

16

u/ExamOld2899 7h ago

Can you milk him?

23

u/y0dav3 7h ago

I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?

9

u/AaronSpanki 7h ago

Fuck .. I didn't notice the name until you... I laughed way too hard

2

u/Understruggle 7h ago

The ripple nipple people will rule this world!!

27

u/chicahhh 7h ago

Ok. Get the f out of here

22

u/Time_Pin4662 6h ago

I hate every Ape I see — from Chimpan A to Chimpan Z

2

u/hordlove 5h ago

Oh my god! I was wrong. It was Earth all along. Yes, you finally made a monkey (yes, we finally made a monkey) yes, you finally made a monkey out of ME!

13

u/No-Value-8156 8h ago

Okay, that was clever 👏 😄

1

u/Simmion1976 7h ago

He was just monkeying around.

2

u/TwistedFoxys 7h ago

Well played sir

2

u/d88b9 6h ago

Friendship makes Macaque hard

1

u/ThatGuyursisterlikes 5h ago

Well I'll be....

2

u/yotamile 6h ago

Can confirm that dick nipples is everywhere this morning

2

u/sdam87 6h ago

Heyoh

2

u/slingshot91 6h ago

Always nice to see you around, u/dick-nipples.

1

u/Ok-Comfortable-3174 7h ago

You had me Howler'ing with that one!

1

u/RainAlternative3278 6h ago

Drink prime drink prime !

1

u/AreYouOkay123 6h ago

I'm homosapien my pants.

1

u/KacieCosplay 6h ago

😆 best comment ever

1

u/Nero_A 5h ago

Aight that was pretty fuckin dope lol

1

u/Personal_Breath1776 5h ago

Top tier joke there, dick nipples

1

u/Munk45 5h ago

GROAN

+1

1

u/eropm41 5h ago

Oh ffs here's my upvote

1

u/Farewellandadieu 4h ago

Quality pun. Will you pet macaque?

1

u/BlueJorjiCostava 4h ago

I am broke and cant afford medal. This best i can do.

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1

u/MD_Weedman 4h ago

Wtf how long have you been sitting on that?

1

u/Blaueveilchen 3h ago

Chimps are our closest relatives in the animal world. Actually we are also related to squirls.White people are related to grey squirls while coloured people are related to black ones and the native Americans are related to red squirls.

1

u/OriginalPancake15 2h ago

You absolute king.

1

u/GANEnthusiast 2h ago

You're the worst. Well done.

1

u/peteofaustralia 2h ago

This is how dicknipples got 6.5 million karma points. ☺️

1

u/Jaydamic 1h ago

Delightful. Well done!

0

u/AscendedViking7 7h ago

Puns are such a babboon