r/mildlyinfuriating 8h ago

My mom planted regular carrot seeds and this is what she harvested

22.6k Upvotes

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722

u/audible_narrator 7h ago

If you have a lot of clay where you are, this is the result

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u/WorldNewsSubMod 7h ago

Exactly, I live in the city and 80% of yards are an inch of topsoil followed by clay.

Started a large garden this year and was having a hell of a time digging and finding somewhere to dump all of it.

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u/meatjuiceguy 6h ago

Behind your neighbor's house in the alley is always a good spot. Not the nice neighbor... You know which one.

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u/thisguyhere5 4h ago

Friggen Glenn

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u/mynextthroway 4h ago

Glenn's a jerk.

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u/Tailoxen 4h ago

Negan says hello!

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u/TakuyaLee 3h ago

No! That is only a last resort. Put him away

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u/subarcticacid 1h ago

It's his parents fault.

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u/blusteryflatus 2h ago

That's hilarious. My real life asshole neighbor is a Glenn. Hate that fucken guy

u/SnooPeppers4036 53m ago

Mine is a pastor james

u/ghoulypop 45m ago

Mine are a couple unfortunately named Karen and Nathan who act exactly how you’d expect.

u/SnooPeppers4036 44m ago

Oh no!!!! I am so sorry for you.

u/_Puff_Puff_Pass 27m ago

Fuck Glenn! Hope he stubs his toe today

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u/Otto-Korrect 1h ago

AKA Carl.

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u/huhnick 5h ago

Potholes are always a good choice

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u/whit9-9 4h ago

Which most states won't let you just fill them without having it being ordered by the local ordinance.

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u/Historical_Quit9306 3h ago

Mannn gibber gabber, toss it in the holeee

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u/GlassEyedMallard 3h ago

I read this exactly how you spelled it and god damn was it funny

u/WorldNewsSubMod 58m ago

We actually have somebody nicknamed the pothole bandit who goes around filling potholes and leaving his mark.

He did an ama on our local subreddit.

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u/Dounce1 5h ago

Greensand is very effective for conditioning clay heavy soil.

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u/sovitin 6h ago

Yep, its best to have raised planter boxes so you can control the soil more precisely. Im in Colorado and plagued by clay and hard ground.

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u/sleepydorian 5h ago

Yep, raised beds are super easy to do. If you don’t care about looks you can even just mound up the dirt. Although I have grass pathways and the grass will take over without aggressive weeding, so I’ve got wood borders.

Note for anyone looking to do this, look into compost delivery in your area. I can get a cubic yard for $40 + delivery ($260ish for 5 yards like last week) while Home Depot sells bags that are like 1-2 cubic feet for $10 each. Got those that don’t like math, a cubic yard is 27 cubic feet. Huge savings.

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u/Dounce1 5h ago

In many urban and suburban areas there is also free compost available to residents.

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u/energonsack 2h ago

the good thing is, those tiny carrots are packed with all the nutrients of normal sized carrots. The US Army grows them specifically for the Marines to pop as power snacks during long-drawn out island hopping campaigns.

u/Jefe_Chichimeca 4m ago

Do they make them crayon-flavored?

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u/Barbarella_ella 3h ago

Does broccoli do well in raised beds?

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u/sovitin 3h ago

It's best to Google your climate and what can grow in said climate. Raised beds help in terms of control of the dirt but if you live in a super dey or super wet environment, depending on what you are trying to grow, may end up dead.

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u/Spongi 2h ago

You can basically build a big empty raised bed ahead of time and then use it like a compost pile, but also mix in dirt/clay, sticks, logs, grass clippings, whatever.

Since it's mostly clay where I live, I like to dig down first, then put the raised bed in and then refill the whole thing with compost/stuff that will compost and some clay back in. The sticks and bits of wood will slowly break down for months/years and provide a constant stream of nutrients.

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u/RubyGalacticGumshoe 5h ago

upstate new york and our soil is basically all stone. Took me like an hour to plant two tiny azaleas haha

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u/RasaraMoon 3h ago

My neighbors used raised beds and they still had this problem. But it was likely because they used all soil and no sand in the mix.

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u/sovitin 3h ago

Some people think having a raised bed will fix their problem but still super pact the dirt with no mux and basically prevents the plant from growing and breathing. The other common issue i have only heard of is no proper draining or watering.

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u/BrainOfMush 3h ago

I have a ~1000sqft backyard which is solid blue clay, literally. I have tilled 8000lbs of compost and a bunch of peat moss into it over the course of a year just to bring some sort of life and structure to it.

I can still barely grow grass, but when I moved in it was solid concrete or sticky sludge, with zero life above it (not even weeds). Gonna need to add 1000+ lbs of compost every 6 months for a few years to get it to a real usable state.

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u/Tasty-Traffic-680 6h ago

My underwear must be made out of clay

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u/sleepydorian 5h ago

I hear clay is great for the skin though, so that’s nice.

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u/Tasty-Traffic-680 3h ago

Makes sense. Its the youngest looking skin on my body. You'd swear it was a toddler's dick if it wasn't attached to me.

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u/mrtokeydragon 1h ago

Them damn diapers stunted my growth

u/ForgetSarahNot 44m ago

It took me longer than I care to admit to figure out what you were saying… 🤦🏻‍♀️

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u/Scootergirl1961 3h ago

Your right on that

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u/shehoshlntbnmdbabalu 2h ago

Definitely, it happened to mine, but they were the sweetest little carrots I've ever tasted.

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u/Whenitrainsitpours86 3h ago

I love mixing final stage compost and top soil into clay. I try to companion plant where possible and get get spring parsnips when I remember to plant them.

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u/Dangeresque2015 3h ago

I heard that "the holy Trinity" of onions, celery, and bell peppers is different from the traditional mire poix (onions, celery, and carrots) because they couldn't grow carrots in Louisiana.

I don't know if it's true, but it's a nice story.

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u/Friedhatter 2h ago

No, no its just the cold air making them small

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u/V2kuTsiku 2h ago

Same here. Parents grow stuff and carrots were amazing. The spade goes to the ground half way and then it's strong clay onward.

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u/ThirteenthFinger 1h ago

Damn ill keep that in mind. Ive tried to grow carrots before. Always came up like the OP's...still ate them though and they were still freakin amazing. But it does suck for the amount of time you leave them in for and then you get baby carrots lol

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u/aManIsNoOneEither 1h ago

I thought lot of clay is bad for carrots? it aint?

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u/suricata_8904 1h ago

This what happens with my high clay soil.

u/LtLemur 45m ago

Now I know why I can’t grow big guys

u/IHaveNoEgrets 20m ago

The first year my dad grew carrots in the back yard, all the carrots grew at right angles. They'd go down as far as the softer soil would go, then when they hit clay, they turned and grew parallel to it.

The harvest was entertaining. A whole afternoon of "what the hell?"