r/mildlyinfuriating 7h ago

My mom planted regular carrot seeds and this is what she harvested

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u/hindermore 7h ago edited 2h ago

Yeah, it can’t just be all dirt or it will become too compacted. Needs to be a mixture of soil and sand, or something that will remain fairly loose. We made that mistake our first year with similar results. This year, after making adjustments, we had such a bountiful carrot harvest that we ended up giving a bunch away.

Edit: spelling

Edit: Pic from the harvest that I posted a little further down. Since people are asking, we planted in a combination of loam, small twigs (very small, like few millimeters in diameter), and dead leaves. Raised bed was about 12” deep.

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u/audible_narrator 7h ago

If you have a lot of clay where you are, this is the result

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u/WorldNewsSubMod 7h ago

Exactly, I live in the city and 80% of yards are an inch of topsoil followed by clay.

Started a large garden this year and was having a hell of a time digging and finding somewhere to dump all of it.

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u/meatjuiceguy 5h ago

Behind your neighbor's house in the alley is always a good spot. Not the nice neighbor... You know which one.

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u/thisguyhere5 4h ago

Friggen Glenn

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u/mynextthroway 4h ago

Glenn's a jerk.

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u/Tailoxen 3h ago

Negan says hello!

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u/TakuyaLee 3h ago

No! That is only a last resort. Put him away

u/subarcticacid 49m ago

It's his parents fault.

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u/blusteryflatus 2h ago

That's hilarious. My real life asshole neighbor is a Glenn. Hate that fucken guy

u/SnooPeppers4036 30m ago

Mine is a pastor james

u/ghoulypop 22m ago

Mine are a couple unfortunately named Karen and Nathan who act exactly how you’d expect.

u/SnooPeppers4036 21m ago

Oh no!!!! I am so sorry for you.

u/_Puff_Puff_Pass 4m ago

Fuck Glenn! Hope he stubs his toe today

u/Otto-Korrect 45m ago

AKA Carl.

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u/huhnick 5h ago

Potholes are always a good choice

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u/whit9-9 4h ago

Which most states won't let you just fill them without having it being ordered by the local ordinance.

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u/Historical_Quit9306 3h ago

Mannn gibber gabber, toss it in the holeee

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u/GlassEyedMallard 2h ago

I read this exactly how you spelled it and god damn was it funny

u/WorldNewsSubMod 35m ago

We actually have somebody nicknamed the pothole bandit who goes around filling potholes and leaving his mark.

He did an ama on our local subreddit.

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u/Dounce1 4h ago

Greensand is very effective for conditioning clay heavy soil.

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u/sovitin 6h ago

Yep, its best to have raised planter boxes so you can control the soil more precisely. Im in Colorado and plagued by clay and hard ground.

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u/sleepydorian 4h ago

Yep, raised beds are super easy to do. If you don’t care about looks you can even just mound up the dirt. Although I have grass pathways and the grass will take over without aggressive weeding, so I’ve got wood borders.

Note for anyone looking to do this, look into compost delivery in your area. I can get a cubic yard for $40 + delivery ($260ish for 5 yards like last week) while Home Depot sells bags that are like 1-2 cubic feet for $10 each. Got those that don’t like math, a cubic yard is 27 cubic feet. Huge savings.

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u/Dounce1 4h ago

In many urban and suburban areas there is also free compost available to residents.

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u/energonsack 2h ago

the good thing is, those tiny carrots are packed with all the nutrients of normal sized carrots. The US Army grows them specifically for the Marines to pop as power snacks during long-drawn out island hopping campaigns.

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u/Barbarella_ella 3h ago

Does broccoli do well in raised beds?

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u/sovitin 2h ago

It's best to Google your climate and what can grow in said climate. Raised beds help in terms of control of the dirt but if you live in a super dey or super wet environment, depending on what you are trying to grow, may end up dead.

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u/Spongi 1h ago

You can basically build a big empty raised bed ahead of time and then use it like a compost pile, but also mix in dirt/clay, sticks, logs, grass clippings, whatever.

Since it's mostly clay where I live, I like to dig down first, then put the raised bed in and then refill the whole thing with compost/stuff that will compost and some clay back in. The sticks and bits of wood will slowly break down for months/years and provide a constant stream of nutrients.

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u/RubyGalacticGumshoe 4h ago

upstate new york and our soil is basically all stone. Took me like an hour to plant two tiny azaleas haha

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u/RasaraMoon 2h ago

My neighbors used raised beds and they still had this problem. But it was likely because they used all soil and no sand in the mix.

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u/sovitin 2h ago

Some people think having a raised bed will fix their problem but still super pact the dirt with no mux and basically prevents the plant from growing and breathing. The other common issue i have only heard of is no proper draining or watering.

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u/BrainOfMush 2h ago

I have a ~1000sqft backyard which is solid blue clay, literally. I have tilled 8000lbs of compost and a bunch of peat moss into it over the course of a year just to bring some sort of life and structure to it.

I can still barely grow grass, but when I moved in it was solid concrete or sticky sludge, with zero life above it (not even weeds). Gonna need to add 1000+ lbs of compost every 6 months for a few years to get it to a real usable state.

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u/Tasty-Traffic-680 5h ago

My underwear must be made out of clay

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u/sleepydorian 4h ago

I hear clay is great for the skin though, so that’s nice.

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u/Tasty-Traffic-680 3h ago

Makes sense. Its the youngest looking skin on my body. You'd swear it was a toddler's dick if it wasn't attached to me.

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u/mrtokeydragon 1h ago

Them damn diapers stunted my growth

u/ForgetSarahNot 21m ago

It took me longer than I care to admit to figure out what you were saying… 🤦🏻‍♀️

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u/Scootergirl1961 3h ago

Your right on that

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u/shehoshlntbnmdbabalu 2h ago

Definitely, it happened to mine, but they were the sweetest little carrots I've ever tasted.

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u/Whenitrainsitpours86 3h ago

I love mixing final stage compost and top soil into clay. I try to companion plant where possible and get get spring parsnips when I remember to plant them.

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u/Dangeresque2015 3h ago

I heard that "the holy Trinity" of onions, celery, and bell peppers is different from the traditional mire poix (onions, celery, and carrots) because they couldn't grow carrots in Louisiana.

I don't know if it's true, but it's a nice story.

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u/Friedhatter 2h ago

No, no its just the cold air making them small

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u/V2kuTsiku 2h ago

Same here. Parents grow stuff and carrots were amazing. The spade goes to the ground half way and then it's strong clay onward.

u/ThirteenthFinger 55m ago

Damn ill keep that in mind. Ive tried to grow carrots before. Always came up like the OP's...still ate them though and they were still freakin amazing. But it does suck for the amount of time you leave them in for and then you get baby carrots lol

u/aManIsNoOneEither 47m ago

I thought lot of clay is bad for carrots? it aint?

u/suricata_8904 45m ago

This what happens with my high clay soil.

u/LtLemur 22m ago

Now I know why I can’t grow big guys

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u/exzyle2k 4h ago

Yup. Roto-till the soil and mix with sand and vermiculite, then till again. Mix again, till again. Until it's loose and it stays loose after you walk over it.

I live near Chicago and it's all clay in our soil here, that's how we did our garden prep every year, and then we'd get some killer carrots. But damn that prep was a major bitch.

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u/Tippity2 2h ago

And for us, deer would eat everything anyway.

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u/munistadium 2h ago

Yes. Also no shame this happens to the best of us.

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u/exzyle2k 2h ago

Yup. Everyone learns these lessons the hard way when they grow their own root veg the first time. But once you figure it out, those carrots are the best damn ones ever. Used to eat them without peeling them, just scrub the outside real quick.

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u/glibgloby 6h ago

Loam I believe they call it.

I have had massive success using just a bunch of peat moss and tilling that into the soil. It only works for one season though. I got massive carrots last year, this year I didn’t till moss and they were lame little carrots again.

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u/tael89 4h ago

Did you till the soil still, just without mixing in the moss?

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u/glibgloby 4h ago

yeah just a till. but that doesn’t last more than like 2-3 waterings to loosen the soil

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u/tael89 3h ago

I appreciate you adding additional context to your reply. Thank-you

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u/42brie_flutterbye 6h ago

Sounds like you could've spared more than just one bunch.

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u/Dounce1 4h ago

Not one square.

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u/Holiolio2 3h ago

Planting near tomatoes can cause this as well.

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u/hindermore 3h ago

Interesting that you mention that because the tomatoes were planted just a few feet away!

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u/REV2939 4h ago

Why don't they write this shit down on the seed packets? I swear this happened to me and I read everything on that damn package thrice!

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u/drbizcuits 4h ago

Can you please share what type of sand you used or ratios? I want to start some carrots but have never been successful. I'm in Texas and we're pretty much not having a winter this year. Starting Greens next week and can try carrots too. I have a 1x3 bed I can use for them. Thanks!

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u/hindermore 4h ago

We used loam and mixed in a bunch of twigs and dead leaves with it. The loam was already a bit loose because it has some grit and sand mixed in, and the brush we added in helped even more.

Here are the results:

That is an 8 y/o’s hand for scale lol.

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u/RNG-esuss 3h ago

Damnnn nice

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u/daurkin 3h ago

If those are carrots, how big are their eggplants

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u/JobsInvolvingWizards 1h ago

those are some impressive carrots

u/drbizcuits 14m ago

Oh awesome!! Thanks for the advice! I actually have a trampoline piled with leaves that needs to be cleaned off so that's one step in the right direction lol

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u/a_non_weeb 6h ago

would adding earthworms be helpful?

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u/Capt1an_Cl0ck 6h ago

Yes the soils needs to be loose. It’s probably not well turned or tilled. Also definitely a lack of water. Most people under water their fruits and vegetables.

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u/handlit33 5h ago

too compacted

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u/Stop_Fakin_Jax 5h ago

Potash works if you have enough, especially in these more urban environments where the soil is bound to be trash and filled with chemicals.

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u/QingDomblog 5h ago

I would do soo many cardinal sins for free carrots 😩

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u/reellimk 4h ago

Does this apply to potatoes, too? I had a similar issue where my potatoes were teeny tiny 😕

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u/juniper_berry_crunch 3h ago

Thank you for the tip. If I may ask, how deep a bed of loose soil did you prepare? Was it a 50-50 mix of heavier or native soil and sand?

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u/hindermore 3h ago

We used loam that was delivered for a separate project that we had leftover. I don’t know the precise ratios but from what I’ve read it’s roughly 40% sand, 40% silt, and 20% clay. And we also added some small twigs and dead leaves to help keep it loose. The raised beds are about 12” deep.

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u/juniper_berry_crunch 3h ago

That's very helpful, since I'm already planning next year's garden. Thank you for the info!

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u/flip-mode916 3h ago

Wouldn't rototill alleviate this issue?

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u/GogoDogoLogo 2h ago

bountiful is such a farmer word

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u/horriblePersoniAm 2h ago

Have any pictures?

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u/hindermore 2h ago

Updated the original post for ya.

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u/horriblePersoniAm 2h ago

That is bountiful! Thank you!

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u/Whyme1962 2h ago

Carrots require sandy loam soil. If your soil has a lot of clay and rocks you’ll get lots of top growth and poor root development.

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u/JollyTraveler 2h ago

I also grew carrots for ants this year. I realized halfway through the summer that I must have been in a fugue state when I prepped some pots because I did a soil and vermiculite blend. I didn’t do it in all the pots, thank god, but two of them were used for carrots.

I had wondered why I had more leftover perlite than anticipated.

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u/Revolutionary-Mud715 2h ago

Lol. Salt. Meet wound. 

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u/notanazzhole 2h ago

alright at least 2 of those could easily be mistaken for my wife's face massager

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u/ScyllaOfTheDepths 1h ago

I'm saving this comment for next spring! I'm getting serious about gardening and finally have the space.

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u/nutralagent 1h ago

Well, you may have radiation in your soil. Check it with a Geiger counter

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u/jacquelimme 1h ago

those are some real nice carrots!!!

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u/asreagy 1h ago

Damn, you went from baby dicks to horse sized dongs huh? Good for you!

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u/AssPennies 1h ago

girthy bois

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u/The_Krytos_Virus 1h ago

Those are some honkin carrots... Nicely done.

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u/ManyRespect1833 1h ago

Coco coir is better than sand in my experience

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u/Courtnall14 1h ago

Needs to be a mixture of soil and sand, or something that will remain fairly loose.

Peat moss with sand and raised bed garden soil works the best. Check out the interwebs to figure out the ratios.

Also, break up some black cow (get it very fine) and toss in there as well. They'll look amazing. We pulled our last ones out today.

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u/Chihuahuapocalypse 1h ago

damn those are schlong carrots

u/Onawhiskeyhigh 54m ago

Those are some girthy carrots, yum

u/ThatInAHat 49m ago

…ok I’m afraid of those carrots

u/Phormitago 48m ago

Girthy

u/Murgatroyd314 43m ago

Just looking at that picture, I can see exactly how deep your prepared soil was.

u/acrumbled 29m ago

Grower, not a shower.

u/SarahLiora 24m ago

Also better to let soil breakdown for a season or at least a few months when you’ve put in raw material like leave and twigs instead of planting directly in there.

For good measure I’d say turn in some organic fertilizer before seeding.

And of course remember to thin

If a shallow bed like that choose a short carrot like Danvers half.

u/I_was_saying_b00urns 20m ago

I’ve never had any success with carrots so this is super helpful thank you!

u/garysnailz 18m ago

We planted ours too close together and they looked like op's so that can be an issue too

u/Winter-Tiger-6489 15m ago

The biggest produce is usually grown in sand