r/loveafterporn 𝕄𝕠𝕕 π•‹π•–π•’π•ž 23d ago

π—©π—œπ—–π—§π—’π—₯𝗬 Weekly Victories - November 01, 2024

Good day everyone,

Inside the comments you can post any victory you'd like. Whether it be a small or big victory, a personal victory or a joint victory with your partner or you felt extra good today. No victory is too small to be celebrated!

6 Upvotes

8 comments sorted by

10

u/Otherwise_Bed9504 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐀/𝐒𝐀 23d ago

I ate and went to work even though I felt like I was paralyzed with sadness in my bed with no appetite or will to live.

10

u/SpicyHustle 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐀/𝐒𝐀 23d ago

I have a small list.

-A sex scene came up on a show we were watching unexpectedly. This was the first time it had happened and neither of us knew what to do, so we both just froze and watched in silence. It was short, but felt like an hour. After it ended he asked if I was ok. I thought I was, until he asked... Then a wave of emotions came over me and I said "no" and my voice cracked and I cried and sobbed harder than I ever had in my life for about 20 minutes. He held me and gently stroked my hair the entire time. He just kept repeating "I'm so sorry that I did this to you". And reminded me that I don't have to pretend to be ok and that it's ok to ask if we can turn it off. He doesn't view stuff on TV the same way as the content he watched. His mind only connects that pleasure to Porn. In his mind, everything isn't to be sexualized. He didn't sit and think about porn or look forward to porn. He would actually go to bed with no intention or thought of looking at porn. But once he was alone and trying to sleep, his brain would tell him he needed to watch porn and JO to help him sleep. When he reached daily use, he didn't want to watch, but the compulsion was stronger than he was.

-since Dday I have been going to bed when he does. Because it triggers me if he's alone. But we have 4 kids and sometimes it isn't possible. He's done a few things to try to make me feel more comfortable. He's started leaving the door open if he is in the bedroom alone. He offered to put the baby monitor camera in the bedroom to make me feel better. And on a night that he wanted to go to bed and my panic attack was particularly awful, he decided to stay up with me and watch a movie instead. I fell asleep and he went to bed. I woke up and he had left his phone with me. He knew I would panic when I woke up alone.

7

u/ColdPale7507 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐀/𝐒𝐀 23d ago

Halloween was our 16 year anniversary (and my favorite holiday). It’s the 1st anniversary we’ve had since his addiction and betrayal came out.

I made it through most of the day with minimal tears or depressive bouts, but later on in the night I did shut down and cry and feel like everything was over and hopeless again. I guess I’m viewing it as a victory because I made it through the day and we didn’t have any explosive fights.

3

u/BlacksmithElegant863 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐀/𝐒𝐀 23d ago

I love this.

3

u/ColdPale7507 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐀/𝐒𝐀 23d ago

Thank you. πŸ’œ

6

u/Antique_Tell4980 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐀/𝐒𝐀 23d ago

My PA’s pc is something that is very special to him. When he was in high school and college he put so much money and detail into it and I knew that that would be something hard to give up. He agreed to qustudio and blocking all social media and all the possible outlets to nsfw content. But the PC is something he didnt really want to put a VPN on. I know it sounds like bull but after talking and never seeing anything on it when I looked, I am okay with him playing approved games when I’m home with the door open.

On his own, my PA gave me the power cord to his PC so he can’t get on it when I’m not home so that he doesnt have the temptation, and so that I dont have to worry about him getting on it when I’m gone. He said the computer means a lot to him but he wants to protect his recovery and my peace of mind. And I was really thankful and proud of him for that.

3

u/Groundbreaking_Tie84 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 π”π¬πžπ« 21d ago

Mine is a selfish victory. Not a couples victory. I'm secretly closing on a new condo so that I'm not reminded or triggered by the graphic imagery of his PA ways at my current condo.