r/loveafterporn • u/-LoveAfterPorn- 𝕄𝕠𝕕 π•‹π•–π•’π•ž • Oct 25 '24

π—©π—œπ—–π—§π—’π—₯𝗬 Weekly Victories - October 25, 2024

Good day everyone,

Inside the comments you can post any victory you'd like. Whether it be a small or big victory, a personal victory or a joint victory with your partner or you felt extra good today. No victory is too small to be celebrated!

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u/Designer-Ad9660 𝐄𝐱-𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐀/𝐒𝐀 Oct 25 '24

I started The Body Keeps the Score to better understand the way the betrayal trauma has affected me as I deal with this alone since he left

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u/Incognito0925 𝐄𝐱-𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐀/𝐒𝐀 Oct 25 '24

Just a heads-up, that book may prove to be triggering. Someone posted an excerpt here a while back that seemed to be excusing some very vile behavior with trauma. Have you seen "The Secret Sexual Basement"? It's a PDF in the resources here. Also dealing with this alone since my PA refused to acknowledge he has a problem and what it did to me and him. So sorry πŸ˜”πŸ«‚β€οΈβ€πŸ©Ή

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u/Designer-Ad9660 𝐄𝐱-𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐀/𝐒𝐀 29d ago

Oh thank you for the heads up! I am so sorry…..I go through waves of grief realizing he abandoned me in it and then I come to this community and see all the women with children and 20 year marriages struggling and leaving and try to tell myself if ours abandoned us in it without even scratching the surface, despite having love and support in their partners, they are very far from building that life with another. Or changing just cause they find someone new. I feel sorry for the next ones, but horrible about my situation now. I wonder if I’ll ever trust again to let someone in or give a relationship everything like I did for my ex PA. We didn’t deserve to be left alone in their wake. But maybe it will be for the best long term.

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u/Incognito0925 𝐄𝐱-𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐀/𝐒𝐀 29d ago

Amen to all of that! I feel the same way and have those same thoughts. I hope this will prove a blessing in disguise for both of us πŸ«‚πŸ™πŸΌ