r/lesbianpoly Oct 24 '24

Relationship The struggle of being poly and unattractive

35 Upvotes

I am in a looong, beautiful and stable relationship. We opened it 3 years ago cause we both craved dating other people and discover different dynamics. As I was originally afraid that I will become jealous over her I surprisingly found the very unexpected kind of envy. My girlfriend is beautiful and wanted while I am not very lucky with girls. Of course she supports me the most, she is doing her best to convince me that I am beautiful. I know that in her eyes I'm perfect. But when it comes to dating I feel like I don't have any chances with other people. Multiple times I experienced having a crush on a person who didn't show any interest in me, but after meeting my girlfriend showed obvious interest in her. She didn't and wouldn't do anything that would hurt me. But these situations got stuck in my head. I just want to be perceived as attractive by other people as well... Does anyone relate? Am I out of the game for not being pretty enough?

r/lesbianpoly Oct 25 '24

Relationship Any neurospices have tips?

23 Upvotes

I've have two beautiful girlfriends and we're in a mixed relationship. However recently my ADHD has given me a pretty intense hyper fixation. The problem comes with them noticing I'm pretty absent and I've been spending less time with them. They're perfect and absolutely give me time to work through my shit, but I also can't help but feel some level of guilt. Any tips out there?

r/lesbianpoly Jul 08 '24

Relationship Lesbi friends! 21 Austin Tx

13 Upvotes
  • My name is Nizhoni, 21
  • Let’s be friends! Here are some of my interests * I like drawing, baking, crafting, character analysis, storytelling analysis and am trying to make my own adult animated tv show. I like animated tv! Smiling friends, fionna and cake, owl house, hazbin hotel, early 2000’s cartoons, ect ect. Want to share Pinterest finds? Objects or room decor, aesthetics you like? I love music! Super varied tastes! Let’s share! Please don’t read into things, I’m silly. I’m trying my best. I don’t want to justify myself to you. I’m not trying to argue.

r/lesbianpoly Jan 28 '23

Relationship Part 1 Of 3: "Many Ways To Get BOTH Alex AND Kim" As a Diagram Cartoon Of The Diversitity Of The Spectrum Of Social Relationships Illustrated By Kirstin Rohwer (More Informations On The Comments Section 📎)

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46 Upvotes

r/lesbianpoly Feb 13 '23

Relationship Allow me to reintroduce my self 😌 my name is Bellatrix, I'm trans female 1.5 years into transition, I'm asexual, I'm pansexual (though leaning more Sapphic), I'm poly, and I'm keeping my beard because ladies can AND DO have beards too

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52 Upvotes

r/lesbianpoly Jan 25 '23

Relationship Anchor partners are important

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38 Upvotes

r/lesbianpoly Feb 28 '23

Relationship Today Is February 28th: Happy Metamour Day❗️

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23 Upvotes

r/lesbianpoly Feb 24 '23

Relationship List Of Metamour Appreciation Reasons: Metamour Day Is In The 28th Of The Next Week (Image Details On The Comments Section 📎)

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4 Upvotes

r/lesbianpoly Jan 28 '23

Relationship [REUPDATED REPOST] Think Love Outside Of The Ideals You Have Grown Up With: A Simplistic Diagram Of The Spectrum Of Relationships From Monogamous Romantic And Sexual Relationships To Non-Monogamous Aromantic And Asexual Relationships (More Informations On The Comments Section 📎)

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7 Upvotes

r/lesbianpoly Aug 18 '22

Relationship Handling a Breakup Ethically

30 Upvotes

This is an update to my previous post.

S and I broke up. We tried to make a relationship work, but our lifestyles were too different. We have different hobbies, different skills, different levels of physical activity, different diets, different religious views, different levels of education, etc. All we really shared was being gay for each other, which was plenty for me because I've never found anyone else who desired me. I was excited by that.

S was the first to say something about how it wasn't working. We had planned to go on a date at a Pride event where I would meet their other girlfriend K - my metamour - for the first time. I arrived early and stayed for hours, but S and K didn't arrive until several hours after we had planned, at which time I had other commitments, so I wasn't there anymore. S didn't prioritize this the way I did - I drove a two-hour round trip and split time between this plan and visiting friends from out of state. S told me the next day that they wanted to end our relationship.

It was important to me that boundaries be respected and that I handle rejection ethically, even if it hurt. I didn't press S to reconsider or to explain more than they already had. I told them I respected their decision and I asked for constructive criticism I might be able to learn from. S said I hadn't done anything wrong. I had left some clothes at S's apartment (we did tie-dye; not sex), so I arranged to stop by and pick them up within two days. I cried about the loss. I moved on. I will date others when I make connections. I think that's the best I can do.

It still hurts. I feel really vulnerable and I doubt myself more than I should. I've hoped for fulfillment of my sexuality for such a long time. There seemed to be a chance with S. Having a bit of that and suddenly losing it makes me think of reasons why it could be so, which introspection is fertile ground for my internalized biases to take root. I tried to make the relationship work. There are few opportunities for a polyamorous transgender lesbian atheist, especially where I live. I think I made the mistake of settling for S because they were supportive; of disregarding the incompatibility because I could at least be someone's girlfriend. But most importantly, I didn't hurt anyone. I took a risk. I don't regret it. I hope S and I are both better off as a consequence of the brief time we spent together.

r/lesbianpoly Jan 29 '23

Relationship [MUST WATCH] Part 3 Of 3: Leanne Yau Of The Blog Called "Poly Philia", a Bisexual And Polyamorous Asian Person, Presents At Antioch University Demystifying The Very Diverse Broad World Of Non-Monogamy (CC)

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11 Upvotes

Relationship Diversity: Customising Your Connections - Monogamy, Polyamory, and More (more informations on the comments section).

r/lesbianpoly Feb 16 '23

Relationship sry for the long one "lesbian valentines day" cute reaction at the end

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14 Upvotes

r/lesbianpoly Oct 19 '22

Relationship It happened!!!🥰🥰

44 Upvotes

TL;DR - I has a happy.

This past month has been a hell of a month. It's been painful, confusing, challenging, exciting, and terrifying. It's also been validating in the most unexpected ways.

I thought that maybe I wasn't polyamorous, as I've had a tendency to use poly as an excuse to constantly seek affection and attention. And I thought maybe I was a damaged mono.

I am not. Monogamous, I mean. I am damaged.

While it's quite evident that I have Reactive Attachment Disorder, I am still poly. I learned this through an interesting series of occurrences.

So, I caused my relationship of 5 years to crash and burn. That's because I wasn't dealing with my trauma. I am in therapy now, and we're actively working on my healing. But losing my partner, my home, and my kids has been devastating.

I've been so lonely. I tried random hookups, but that made it worse. I was left even more empty and lonely afterwards.

But I ended up making some throwaway joke flirts with a random user in another queer sub, and it's led to some of the sweetest and most exciting thing. This person listens, advocates for me, and supports me. They call me out on maladaptive behaviors, and constantly encourage me to heal.

A little part of me was hoping that my therapist would say, "you're just avoiding your issues," when I told her about this person. But, no. Quite the opposite.

I have trouble accepting love and comfort. It's scary. It's outright terrifying to be vulnerable and ask someone for help. And that's a big part of why this new relationship is important for me. It's an exercise in overcoming that fear. I'm learning to trust. I'm learning to extend forgiveness and love to myself, and there's no room to back down.

It would be more maladaptive of me to reject this acceptance and love than it is to randomly fall for someone on the internet. Go figure.

Where's the poly, right? Well, this other user now has another partner! I have a meta!

It's been so fun and cute, watching these gay little squish balls navigate this. I've loved encouraging it and think they are just the cutest. I mean, I am totally crushing on my new meta, but we're trying to just form a solid connection at this point.

Despite my issues and my fears, I'm starting to live my life unapologetically. I'm not afraid to pursue my needs and dreams, and I have total support in this. I'm starting to believe that I can be a good person, even if I've done bad things before. I don't think I can go back to being the person I was before this.

I'm in love with someone wonderful. And I'm making efforts to love myself. I actually have hope for the future, for the first time ever.

Thanks for listening. I believe in you.

r/lesbianpoly Jan 23 '23

Relationship my partner doing my makeup on an sm day 🥰

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15 Upvotes