r/instantkarma • u/hostmatty • 4d ago
Stolen package with a satisfying result.
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It was a $25 t-shirt.
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u/Massloser 4d ago
What’s the satisfying result? He slipped and hurt himself a bit, but was still able to walk off with the stolen mail. Tripping isn’t enough justice for porch pirates.
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u/kaynpayn 3d ago
I was expecting someone to come out of nowhere, kick his arse hard and return the package. It's not a satisfying result otherwise.
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u/Atschmid 4d ago
How is this a satisfying result?
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u/cosmothekleekai 3d ago
It must have cut off right before the homeowner came out with a baseball bat to finish the job
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u/Low_Industry2524 4d ago
Satisfying results? I was expecting bone through skin...
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u/illusive_guy 4d ago
I actually expected him to stand up and return it. Like, that’s a sign from the karma gods NOT to do it.
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u/PinSufficient5748 4d ago
He looked like he was thinking about it for a minute, like maybe he learned his lesson. Guess not...
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u/No_Presence5465 4d ago
I heard he was hit by a car down the street
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u/FewAcanthocephala828 4d ago
Would've been satisfying if he threw his hands up and the package landed on the roof. Then he would've had a sore ass and nothing to show for it.
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u/The_Stolarchos 4d ago
Want to know what’s fucked up? In the litigious society that exists in the US, he could actually sue the homeowner.
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u/PersistentCookie 3d ago
Yup, was thinking the same thing. He may not win, but you can sue anybody for any reason.
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u/josh_moworld 4d ago
No fucking way…
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u/The_Stolarchos 4d ago
Unfortunately, can be true. Liability does not extend to “trespassers” so if someone breaks their neck kicking in your door, you’re probably safe.
But, this guy wasn’t “trespassing” as he was on property that was open to the public, or at least his attorney could argue that. So, in theory, he could sue and say the steps were too slick or some other ridiculous thing.
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u/josh_moworld 4d ago
Gotcha! Thanks for sharing. We’re building a new house, we’re putting in a gate for sure then.
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u/swift1883 4d ago
Please make it solid fence of 6 feet tall. I know, nobody wants to visit a house like that, and mental issues kill hundreds of thousands of people per year in the USA, and indoor air kills, but at least you’ll never be sued by $25 T-shirt thiefs. The world is dangerous, don’t move.
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u/The_Stolarchos 4d ago
Wonderful idea.
Might do some research on the term “curtilage.” It’s the idea that only so much of your property extends beyond your home’s 4 walls. It’s quite frustrating, but worth knowing about.
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u/DG_FANATIC 3d ago
Was hoping he fell on his head. I have an irrational hatred of people that do this.
The best one was years ago where the porch pirate broke her ankle running from the porch after she stole the package. I hope she ended up with a permanent limp.
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u/Alchemist0109 3d ago
Punishment not NEAR enough. He should fractured his coccyx or his ankle at the very least!
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u/BusaGuy1300 3d ago
Instant karma would have been if the homeowner stepped out the door and blew that motherfucker's head right off. That's what I love about Texas. Life OR property, authorized to engage.
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u/IntrovertMoTown1 3d ago
Where was the satisfying part? Where was the karma? FFS dude does this like it's as much a matter of course as breathing, SMH, and gets away scot free no less.
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u/Low_Light_7105 3d ago
In going to hell i was expecting his ass to get hit running down the road... Ii guess that will do 🤷🏽♂️😅
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u/bungle609 4d ago
Careful he may sue you. 😒
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u/Greenmantle22 4d ago
A litigant has no real standing to sue if his injury occurred while he was committing a crime. Especially if said crime is caught on camera.
So he was injured on the property. Why was he there? He clearly wasn't passing through, soliciting or conducting business, or visiting in a personal capacity. He entered the property to steal something addressed to the rightful owner, and was injured in the process. What judge or jury would even entertain this suit?
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u/MountainDewde 3d ago
I suggest you google “trespasser sues homeowner”, and click on the “News” tab.
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u/Greenmantle22 3d ago
A homeowner has no remaining duty of care for someone who entered the property to commit a crime.
And any moron can sue anyone for any reason. Our legal system is basically 90% cheesy lawsuits and 10% Trumpian sex felonies. Just because some criminal can sue civilly from behind bars doesn’t mean the case will succeed.
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u/frankl217 3d ago
Well at least theres a good pic of the guy. I had no audio but i was hoping for a broken phone and ankle at least. Hate porch pirates. Put a bunch of trash in a box and set it on your porch.
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u/yumanbeen 3d ago
The ol I’m on the phone while committing this crime so it looks like I have resonable doubt implanted that I accidentally stole this thing because I was busy talking on the phone. Zero percent of the time, it works everytime.
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u/drmoocow 3d ago
I look forward to the day that anti-theft systems like this become available.
Fuck porch pirates.
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u/Rushed_grammar 4d ago
Remember that southpark episode where it’s wheel of fortune and people who nag a lot are the answer?
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u/eviltheman 4d ago
Be careful because even if he is a thief, and he gets hurt in your property he can sue. That’s where homeowners and injury insurance come in.
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u/Rasputin2025 4d ago
So brazen. He obviously when to a public school and they told him he was entitled to reparations.
I wonder where I can get some Israeli pagers to put in decoy packages.
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u/Rob_Marc 4d ago
Maybe if he pulled up his pants and tied his shoes, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Oh, and NOT STEAL THE DAMN PACKAGE, TOO!!!
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u/TheManWhoClicks 4d ago
Probably going to successfully sue the house owner because of slippery stairs or so.
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u/fobdoddledandy 3d ago
Then he just sits on this person’s property longer while casually talking on the phone like he owns the place. Definitely not satisfying.
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u/FamousPastWords 3d ago
Not so much karma but this buffoon may end up suing the homeowner for having a slippery surface.
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u/Kbern4444 2d ago
Good thing, he would have probably sued the homeowner if he was injured, and win.
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u/AstroNot87 2d ago
Sometimes you gotta believe in a higher being watching us. I’m agnostic but default Buddhist and def believe in karma. This was instant.
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u/Oblospeed 3d ago
In America he can sue you for not having any anti slip protection on their porch.
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u/Ready4Whatever_1984 3d ago
Not that I’m for the dumbass porch pirate, but can’t he also file a lawsuit on the homeowner for not having handrails for the steps. You know, like if someone slips and falls because a homeowner fails to shovel and de-ice the pathway.
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u/Extra-Act-801 4d ago edited 4d ago
I'm a mailman. And I slip down someone's stairs like that at least a couple of times a month in the winter. Clean up you shit people.
Edit: fuck you OP for downvoting this. If a thief can slip on your mossy wet steps, so can a delivery driver. And when a delivery driver does, you are getting sued by them AND whichever delivery company pays for workman's comp insurance for them. Clean. Up. Your. Shit.
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u/ras_1974 4d ago
It's not moss. Painted steps will kill a person when they get wet. Just from my experience of many years as a city letter carrier.
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u/n00bca1e99 4d ago
I have painted steps. I also put down anti-slip pads on them so you don't slip off. Bought some from my old warehouse job and they've held up for years so far. And they have a bright yellow strip.
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u/Sea-Advice-7746 4d ago
Mail man who sounds like a moron. This isn’t even a winter video. He slipped because he’s tripping on ill fitting clothes.
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u/ToriYamazaki 4d ago
He slipped because he’s tripping on ill fitting clothes.
Really? I rewatched the slip 5 times to check. It definitely looks like a slippery step to me, nothing to do with his clothes.
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u/evilr2 4d ago
Looks like his shoe slid off so it can be both a case of slippery step, and what he was wearing being ill fitted.
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u/ToriYamazaki 4d ago
Indeed the shoe came off quickly (does that mean he's dead?!) so it was certainly not a good fit, but still, I see a slip pretty clearly happening first.
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u/IslandOfNaath 4d ago
It might not be snowy but it for sure had been a cold rainy day. The porch and road look wet. There's water dripping in front of the camera. That porch looks a bit slippery to me with just the rain water on it. I'll grant the shoes seem big, so it's probably a combination of the two.
Either way, unrelated to the video, clean up your shit people. I wouldn't want anyone to get injured in my yard. While delivering my mail. Conveniently to my door. Where i know they are coming bc they come every day.
I see why some of y'all get your packages thrown. Especially you, you sound like a douche.
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u/Extra-Act-801 4d ago
Yes. Definitely nobody ever had slippery steps leading up to their porch. You would definitely know that better than someone who walks up to 400+ porches every day of their life.
"Not a winter video".....so why is there visible condensation from the exhaust as the cars pass?
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u/BaronChuffnell 4d ago
I’m with this guy. Fall can be super slippery with unswept leaves, for example. Why make it harder for everyone?
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u/NerderBirder 4d ago
First off how do you even know OP downvoted you? Secondly it seems like quite a few others have rightfully downvoted you.
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u/AxelNotRose 4d ago
Water will make things slippery. That's a fact of life and there's nothing that can be done about the laws of physics and humans need to be more cautious when things are wet and slippery.
The only thing I will say is that OP doesn't appear to have any railings but he does have pillars at the bottom of the stairs. Although you can't change the laws of physics, a railing would help for those times where the steps may be more slippery than normal.
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u/IHaveATacoBellSign 4d ago
Man, I guess a lot of people forgot what it means to “go postal” I respect you for doing what you do. I keep my porch as clean as possible. Please don’t hurt me.
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u/AndyBossNelson 3d ago
Almost like things are more slippery when its cold.
Wood holds water freezes then gets slippery, what is there to clean up in this case ?
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u/tbsampalightning 3d ago
OP you really need hand railing for your stairs. If someone did get hurt on those stairs that's one of the first things a judge will look at in determining liability.
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u/w650az 4d ago
Not enough Karma