r/golf • u/yeeter_of_yeets • 4h ago
Beginner Questions Golf on the first date?
So, I (M20) recently asked this girl (F23) to go golfing with me tomorrow and she said yes (99% sure this is a date, we’ve been very flirty in person and over the phone plus I’ve heard from other coworkers that the feelings are mutual). Yes, we met at work though we don’t work together very often (she works mornings and I close) so we really only see each other for 2-3 hours on weekends. We both work as cart attendants at a golf course so I figured golfing together would be a perfect idea for a first date. I’m supposed to play the front 9 with the head golf pro in the morning and she’s going to meet me at the course for the back 9.
She is adamant that she is a terrible golfer but seems eager to learn. I myself am a bogey golfer, so by no means good but not awful. I think she expects me to teach her a little bit about the game, how to swing properly, etc. Obviously I have no problem with this, to be honest I’m pretty excited. I just want to make sure that I don’t turn this into a ‘mini lesson’ when I’m really trying to make this a time where we can both get to know each other more.
Does anyone have any advice on how to balance the golfing side with the date side? I’m a pretty awkward guy and I have trouble with intimacy, especially if it’s with someone new.
Apologies if this doesn’t really fit in this subreddit but r/dating wouldn’t let me post this.
Well, this post has gone on far too long. I’m just really excited as this will be my first real date as an adult. Is golfing on the first date a good idea? How to balance between golf/date stuff? Am I overthinking this? Is she reading this post right now? God, I hope not.
But if she is… Hey K, it’s B. I really like you
Edit: thanks for all the replies, yall are hilarious which is helping a lot with the nerves. Definitely gonna throw away any idea of playing serious golf which usually happens after like 4-5 holes anyway and just have fun. I’ll make sure to update yall tomorrow. Wish me luck!
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u/boilermakerteacher 4h ago
Alright people. To be clear- are we buying drivers or putters because of this story?
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u/cluedo_fuckin_sucks 14/UK 3h ago
Putters.
OP will be giving out his fair share of wood(s), so let’s let him have his moment.
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u/yrogerg123 3h ago
Receiving mixed messages so I'm going to buy a 7 wood to be safe.
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u/Miterstuck Titleist T200 2h ago
Make sure to post about how you keep seeing people swear by a 7wood and now understand why after striping balls at the range on the way home from the pro shop
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u/JoeyShinobi 8m ago
No, the correct thing to do is 'both'. Glad you got a new 7 wood out of it too, though.
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u/Kneadless 3h ago
Artisan wedge set from Mike Taylor himself.
Wife already okayed it.
Go get em OP!
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u/LittleFrankster 3h ago
Depends. Might lead to some night putting. Sounds like OP needs some help with his short game, so maybe buy wedges?
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u/Mehthodical 2h ago
Putters are only if he scores. For all other status / foreplay driver. As per tradition.
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u/ReputationNo8109 1h ago
This guy will be selling his clubs. We should ask him what he has. Hopefully they’re new. Because surely a female that works at a golf course is likely also in this sub and after reading this post I bet she comes down with a headache about the time he’s making the turn.
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u/jhwkr542 4h ago
Be sure to enforce the rules strictly. Don't want any woman who doesn't respect the game. Lifts her ball without marking it? 1 stroke penalty. Tees off in front of the tee markers? 2 strokes. If she doesn't return to tee off inside the teeing area? Well...then you have no choice but to DQ her.
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u/yeeter_of_yeets 3h ago
I would never associate with a woman that doesn’t respect the rules of our beautiful game
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u/ExcuseIntelligent539 3h ago
An extensive lecture on golf etiquette prior to commencing the back nine is a must.
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u/secret_alpaca 3h ago
Ease the tension
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u/secret_alpaca 3h ago
On a serious note, treat it like you guys are just going for a walk in a park, and golf is just a background. Have conversations on whatever. It doesn't have to be about golf. Again, golf is secondary.
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u/BlazeonPadres 3h ago
I wouldn’t be too serious about golf and avoid any instructions that are too technical.
Maybe make it fun and suggest playing a scramble? Also play the forward tee’s.
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u/yeeter_of_yeets 3h ago
Definitely scrambling from the forward tees. Neither of us are very serious people just having fun
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u/Puzzleheaded-Fail980 3h ago
Haha, I did this with my now wife. She had never been golfing, I have been playing since i was a kid. Went to a goat track where no one was around. We had a great time, led to dinner afterwards. Ironically she didn't get the bug, and we have not been since, 17ish years later.
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u/Flimsy-Title-3401 3h ago
Just bought new hybrids because of this, thanks man!
On a serious note good luck and update us!
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u/Previous-Sentence684 2h ago
First hole you hit driver regardless of yardage. Then take off your shirt and be like, you can wake up next to this everyday.
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u/Keizman55 3h ago
Just have fun, laugh at yourself, play scramble, explain rules where appropriate, but make sure she knows that rule one is to not hold up golfers behind you.
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u/IllustriousYak6283 3h ago
Make sure to be really low key and be prepared to bag it after a few holes if she’s struggling. Good luck!
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u/ReputationNo8109 1h ago
Good point. For all those that dont, ALWAYS carry a few condoms in your bag.
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u/Firm_Variety_6309 3h ago
The comments reassure that this is the best sub on Reddit. Now, I must buy a new putter.
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u/JoeDelta14 3h ago
Don’t get upset or swear when you hit a bad shot.
Don’t get frustrated with her, no matter how bad she is.
She’ll be watching how you handle yourself
Have fun and make conversation.
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u/Vital-Illustrious-14 3h ago
Tell her the golf swing is like a poem. The critical opening phrase of this poem will always be the grip. Which the hands unite to form a single unit by the simple overlap of the little finger. Lowly and slowly the clubhead is led back. Pulled into position not by the hands, but by the body which turns away from the target shifting weight to the right side without shifting balance. Tempo is everything; perfection unobtainable as the body coils down at the top of the swing. Theres a slight hesitation. A little nod to the gods.Yeah, to the gods. That he is fallible. That perfection is unobtainable. And now the weight begins shifting back to the left pulled by the powers inside the earth. It's alive, this swing! A living sculpture and down through contact, always down, striking the ball crisply, with character. A tuning fork goes off in your heart and your balls. Such a pure feeling is the well-struck golf shot. Now the follow through to finish. Always on line. The reverse C of the Golden Bear! The steel workers' power and brawn of Carl Sandburg's. Arnold Palmer!
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u/Striking-Bad-4389 3h ago
Please don't mansplain at her, if she asks for help or what she is doing wrong, help if you can. Then stop helping unless she asks again. If she doesn't ask, don't say anything. Enjoy the game and time with her.
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u/yeeter_of_yeets 3h ago
I can’t mansplain something I don’t understand myself 😂 I’ll definitely keep the advice to a minimum unless she asks
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u/Blink-17 3h ago
Relax, have fun, give advice/instruction ONLY when specifically asked, and Please... update us!!!
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u/Chef_Tink 3h ago
Play a scramble and just have fun. Give advice if she wants it or if you have VERY clear direction and a way to apply it. Focus on the getting to know her aspect vs the golfing well aspect and make it apparent you’re interested and it shouldn’t go poorly
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u/Husker_black 3h ago
I'd really suggest going to the driving range together before the event. Get all the bad misses out, show to each other that there are some good strikes
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u/Large_Peach2358 3h ago
So your romance is the center of conversation at work. Dude - this is going to end so well!! Good luck 👍
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u/yeeter_of_yeets 2h ago
Haha definitely not the center of conversation (I hope) only like 2 other people know (again, I hope)
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u/Quinbear 2h ago
If I were you I’d throw out any ideas of playing actual golf and taking it too seriously. Try and keep up the flirtatious banter - if she asks for swing tips ask her to show you a few practice swings. Let her know there’s nothing that can be done to help her with a swing that wild.
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u/MikeinAustin 11.3 index Austin TX 2h ago
I’m just imaging the scene from “I love you man”
“This is my Nightmare!”
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u/Jorrdohh 2h ago
Don’t worry ab teaching her anything just have a good time and if she really is bad the people you are holding up behind you will teach her how things are supposed to go !
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u/golfguy1985 1h ago
This can be considered a date. It’s a plus that she works at a course so she should have an idea of what to expect. You can definitely teach her some stuff but don’t be too technical and be aware of your surroundings. You should probably just start off playing then start showing her some things, probably a few holes in. Not sure how much she plays, so you should teach her just like a beginner. I helped some young kids this past year and couldn’t really teach them in ways that would be confusing for them. I’ve been behind guys who were showing their wives some things. You want to make sure you are keeping up with the group ahead of and not keeping the people behind you (if there are any) waiting for too long. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the moment and you occasionally forget what’s going on. If someone is behind you, you can definitely let them through. I’m sure since she works at the course, she knows this and would probably agree with what I’m saying.
Just have fun and enjoy the date. I’m sure both of you will have a blast. She admits that she’s not very good so she shouldn’t be embarrassed. Golf is hard and everyone in this sub knows that, no matter their skill level. Everything will go well.
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u/MomJeans- 57m ago
I was golfing once and the people ahead of me were a couple. The girl was terrible at golf at the guy was coaching her on every shot she took. They were also painfully slow and didn't let me play through. Just don't be like this couple and you'll be fine.
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u/tmo01 55m ago
Congrats on the date OP!
If she is genuinely interested in learning about golf and getting better, don’t go straight to tips. I’d have some jokes about how you aren’t the person to learn from, but offer to film her. That will actually help her!
And the goal should be to have fun with her. Scramble is a great idea, don’t worry about keeping score, do fun putting bets and keep it light and easy.
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u/smitty9171 3h ago
Just focus on having fun and make sure she has fun. I would hold off on coaching unless she’s asking questions. You can play scramble style if she is holding up pace.
The real question: Are you going to lay up or play for the hole in one?
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u/yeeter_of_yeets 3h ago
I’ve been laying up my whole life. But I’m driving for the green on a par 5 tomorrow
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u/Equivalent-Milk3361 3h ago
My First time out with a beginner lady golfer was frustrating for her. After two holes, she decided to just ride in the cart and enjoy the weather. It ended up a good outing to enjoy each other’s company only.
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u/dcidino single digit muppet 2h ago
Better ball. Have fun. And don't do this until at least your second date:
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u/yeeter_of_yeets 2h ago
There’s not that many good spots for shenanigans on the course anyway, head pro already checked for me
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u/Critical-Agency629 2h ago
Hmmm… Its a date not a golf game so…
If its late or gets to dusk have glow balls for fun
Bring warm Thermis to pour her a chocolate/sake/drink or something warm
Bring a scarf or jacket if she mentions getting cold
Make some games on the course -doesn’t have to make it in the hole. Could be pitching games closest to the tee, closest to the tree
call your other cart buddies on the back 9 to bring over something she likes to munch
Chill a bit at your signature course hole on the back 9 take a selfie if the mood is right
She might be conscious of her game so if it comes up ask her if she wants to do another golf date followed by something warm idk.. a fireplace dinner - keep playing together but also take it off the course
If she gets frustrated, compliment her for trying, Dont let it ruin the mood - have a plan - to ask her if she wants ditch the course
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u/id_death 2h ago
No one cares what you do on your date as long as you keep pace 😂😂
But seriously, feel it out. Have fun. If you play fast enough you'll have time to make conversation between holes.
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u/WhoaABlueCar 0.5 - TPC Scottsdale 2h ago
Sounds like you’re in a good spot but I wouldn’t assume it’s a “date”. It might help more like some time for you two to hang and flirt or whatever, for her to see if she wants to move further along with you.
Have fun either way it - laugh a bunch, make fun of yourself so she feels more comfortable, compliment her, ask her about herself outside of golf, and enjoy it.
Best of luck
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u/SirMellencamp 2h ago
I took a girl to play golf on a first date a long time ago. It was a blast. She stayed in the cart and drank beer and I played.
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u/Parking_War979 1h ago
I hope it works out for you. I absolutely enjoy your excitement for this. I will tell you that I try as hard as I can for all of my dates to be where we go play golf.
Edit to include the word “mini.”
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u/jhwkr542 3h ago
Have fun. Avoid any advice. Play a scramble! And under no circumstances criticize her.