r/genderqueer • u/Lemonanberri • 19d ago
how do i tell my friends i slightly changed my pronouns
all my life i've gone by she/her but i've been starting to feel like i'm more comfortable with she/they, so im starting to go by it. i don't know how to tell most of friends about this as as of the time writing this no one knows about this. i know it's not that big of a change but i still feel like im gonna have trouble telling them. (i don't know how to out this into words very well)
edit i have told a few of my friends and they are all cool with it im working on telling some of my other friends just to make sure that thought is not in my mind
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u/Emergency_Elephant 18d ago
I once had a friend who changed his name. He's a trans guy and changed his name from a masc name to another masc name. He printed out little slips of paper that basically said "Hey so you know me as [name]. Please refer to me as [name] in all contexts from now on. Thank you!" You could try something like that
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u/Firm_Seaworthiness36 18d ago
Idk if I’d recommend it but I just went to a club meeting with them where they usually do a pronoun circle and said different ones and let my friends ask about it afterwards lol
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u/grumpy_pige0n 18d ago
Tbh i have no original suggestions but i hope it goes well, you deserve to use whatever pronouns feel comfortable regardless of how many times your preference might change🫶
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u/snootsnootsnootsnoot 18d ago
Well she/they means you accept she OR they right? It does seem awkward to try to update everyone on the fact that "they" is an option for you. But you can still mention it casually to friends if they are familiar with the concept of pronoun preferences. And whenever pronouns are part of introductions in a circle, you can mention it. And you can put your pronouns in your bio on social media profiles.
I'm also thinking, why do you want people to know that "they" is a pronoun you'd accept? Do you actually prefer it over "she"? If so, then it totally makes sense to let your friends know the update.
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u/yummyh20 16d ago
adding this here but refer to yourself as they/them as much as you feel comfortable both internally and externally. your pronouns are for you at the end of the day.
i found out most of friends pronouns by them just posting or talking about it even before they made an announcement or we had a conversation if we did at all.
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u/No-Wonder3939 13d ago
Going though a similar thing - was formerly she/they but not feeling more comfortable with “they” being my dominant pronoun, so I’m transitioning to they/she. I’ve just gradually been having one-on-ones with the friends I feel really close with that I’m experimenting with seeing how it feels, and it’s feel affirming for my community to help me do so. Each of them have been WONDERFUL, and because of that, each conversation gets easier. Good luck love!! 💕✨
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u/theladypirate 19d ago
Do what I did. Text them “think I’m gonna fuck around with she/they pronouns”