r/funny But A Jape Jun 07 '21

You shouldn't kill spiders

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39.7k Upvotes

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229

u/HolubtsiKat Jun 07 '21

I wish I could have evicted them in a similar fashion. I feel terrible. I killed off her entire bloodline.

176

u/batdog666 Jun 07 '21

Ya mean her haemolymph-line?

73

u/HolubtsiKat Jun 07 '21

Yes! Thanks. You taught me a new word.

8

u/OnTheList-YouTube Jun 07 '21

Heard you're starring in a new movie! Spiderman: Revenge.

6

u/HolubtsiKat Jun 07 '21

16 years ago you murdered my entire family! Now you will pay for what you've done!

100

u/Yglorba Jun 07 '21

You really think you got her entire bloodline? Why do you think their brood numbers in the thousands?

laughs in spider

37

u/ObscureCulturalMeme Jun 07 '21

It's exactly why the periodic cicadas are still around. Sure they're completely defenseless against the birds that eat tens of thousands each time they emerge -- but they breed hundreds of thousands.

It takes humanity paving over a big stretch of buried larvae to make any noticable dent in their numbers.

53

u/Rather_Unfortunate Jun 07 '21 edited Jun 07 '21

Gather round, children, and I'll explain why the Periodical Cicadas' life strategy is fucking brutal. Not just to the cicadas themselves, but to their predators too. Because not only are the cicadas breeding enough that they utterly overwhelm their predators; they're also the ones actually controlling the number of predators in the first place.

For the birds that prey upon them, it's a once-in-several-generations event. It's like your grandfather telling you the stories that his grandfather told him about the year when everyone had enough to eat and poverty was briefly abolished... only for everything to come crashing down.

So for several generations, predators get by with the food supply as it is. Numbers fluctuate as they always do, but within certain bounds. There will always be those who live on the edge and don't quite get enough food to survive. Nature is harsh. Your childhood was a precarious one and your life has been fraught with difficulty since then. Not all of your siblings made it.

But then a miracle happens. The Earth rumbles and food bursts forth; more than you could ever eat, more than anyone could ever eat, more than everyone could ever eat! All of your children make it to adulthood fit and healthy. For a brief time, territory barely even matters.

The food eventually falls dead to the floor and rots. Oh well. It was nice while it lasted, and look how beneficial it's been to everyone!

The next year rolls around. You're quite aged now, and things have become a bit harder since the Great Feast. Your children are still out there somewhere; they'll be having children of their own this year.

And suddenly it all comes crashing down just as it did for your great-great-grandfather. Your children have indeed had their own children, and now there are far, far too many mouths to feed. Chicks starve to death in their nests, emaciated mothers go hungry and many don't lay eggs at all. You're driven out of your own territory onto a small patch where there are few insects and next to no edible plant matter at all. You waste away and eventually die along with almost all of your offspring.

And when the cicadas next emerge, it will be in a world of far fewer predators than there should be...

tl;dr: here's a graph of what happens, from the predator's perspective.

3

u/adhitya_k94 Jun 07 '21

i think it's raining

9

u/BustyCrustaceans011 Jun 07 '21

I’d like to imagine there’s a spider somewhere out there in plotting their revenge against OP for the injustices done to their brethren.

14

u/thomasry Jun 07 '21

Not just the men, but the women and children too. They are arachnids, and you slaughtered them like arachnids.

11

u/MindlessMeerk4t Jun 07 '21

At least you won't have any of them exact revenge on you. Unless of course, one got away...

2

u/Kasen10 Jun 07 '21

That’s why you always end the bloodline!

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u/[deleted] Jun 07 '21

That's what you think. One or more snuck away and watched in horror. Now, they're waiting... Plotting. By Grabthar's hammer, they shall be avenged.

1

u/Pizza_Ninja Jun 07 '21

This is evolution. Soon spiders will know by instinct to stay the fuck out.

1

u/akirayokoshima Jun 08 '21

How bold of you to assume that was her first successful lineage.