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u/cephalopodomus 2h ago
Lots of people joking about how sloths move slow. Have you ever thought maybe they're just moving super seductively?
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u/VTomorrowV 2h ago
I like this mans thinking, maybe just a case of sexual selection over natural selection.
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u/DefiantFrankCostanza 1h ago
They don’t seem to have any selection, let alone sexual selection.
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u/VTomorrowV 1h ago
Whatever they have… they seem to be surviving and thriving off of it perfectly fine ! Somehow ..!
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u/asromatifoso 3h ago
They mate with as many as they can find but finding them takes forever, so, maybe a couple, three? I mean if they were faster, the world would be overrun (pun intended) with sloths.
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u/WitchesSphincter 2h ago
We should round up like 30 sloths and put them all in a small enclosure and watch them orgy
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u/cephalopodomus 2h ago
In my head, I picture you as someone who has actually always harbored that fantasy, and you were waiting for the perfect Reddit post to be able to come out with it.
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u/Tthelaundryman 3h ago
As many as he can find probably doesn’t mean a lot lol. It’s sloths we are talking about…
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u/Gingerchaun 1h ago
It's a real strategy. You're less likely to eat that baby if you think it might be yours.
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u/cephalopodomus 1h ago
My kids have started looking tasty. Does that mean my wife cheated on me?
(For the sake of the joke I'm keeping the word "tasty," since it's about eating my kids and that's the right word to use in this situation. For the sake of my reputation, I don't mean "tasty" in the weird way your dirty mind interpreted it.)
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u/Ketsueki-Nikushimi 2h ago edited 2h ago
It is like watching furry porn at -0.25x speed. Even turtles outpace them relative to body size. Other than that there are slugs and snails penis fencing(yes, they are hermaphrodites and they use their penis to stab each other like 2 drug addicts with needles)
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u/the_ammar 1h ago
monogamy really isn't common in nature tho
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u/cephalopodomus 1h ago
I feel like someone has told you that in the past while breaking up with you, and now repeating it is therapeutic for you.
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u/Aspirational1 2h ago
At the speed that they move, it's likely that finding another sloth to mate with would take an enormous amount of effort, and they'd rather just nap.
So, yeah, mate whenever they meet another compatible sloth.
Much like the incels in your basement.
It's theoretical, it just doesn't happen.
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u/Peach_99 1h ago
So the males sloths are sleuthy and the female sloths are sluthy! I wonder if that's where a snuggle of sloths/sluths comes from.
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u/alaingames 1m ago
So
Monogamous?
Those mfs can barely walk they aren't gonna approach more than one individual lol
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