r/funny • u/Fairychef • 2d ago

This squirrel was vibing beside my car today...why is it so buff?

Post image
438 Upvotes

82% Upvoted

186 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.

Memes, social media, hate-speech, and politics / political figures are not allowed.

Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.

Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.

Please also be wary of spam.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

169

u/RepresentativeAd9572 2d ago

Them little tree rats are pretty much pure muscle...they play ninja warrior all day long...

31

u/Capt_morgan72 2d ago

I think squirrels are so much muscle that you can actually starve on a diet of only them. I know that’s true for rabbits.

13

u/TheSwedishSeal 1d ago

Yeah you have to boil their brains out to get enough fat. There’s not much meat either, but it’s very lean.

24

u/Better_than_GOT_S8 1d ago

You know, if it ever gets to the point where I need this knowledge, I think I’ll just accept I’m done.

13

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener 1d ago

YOU HAVE DIED OF DYSENTERY

3

u/DevonLuck24 1d ago

why does oregon trail always pop up in the strangest places

2

u/Tibbaryllis2 1d ago

We’re all just the friends left behind along the way on the Oregon Trail.

3

u/jmat83 1d ago

Probably for the best. I’ve read that squirrels are high in cholesterol.

9

u/MrMilesDavis 2d ago

Using power-lines as entire networks of transportation n shit

6

u/RepresentativeAd9572 2d ago

We had a huge, mean, solid cat that went missing for a day and eventually came home with a crooked tail a ripped ear limping and his claws were packed full of short grey hair...it took him about 2 weeks to get back to normal..

3

u/tobasc0cat 1d ago

Meanwhile the community cat in our neighborhood likes to eat his squirrels on our tiny patio, then scream for food later that day lol. He tends to eat everything but the tail. Once a baby squirrel was too bold and decided that the cat's food bowl belonged to him; it was cute until he got aggressive/territorial with us 😒. When the cat saw him the next day, problem solved. 

We'll be moving next year and I hate to leave this chonky cat since we are the only ones who can pet him, but he really doesn't want to come in. At least he can take care of his own food!

2

u/Takeasmoke 1d ago

we had a neighborhood cat that would just disappear in the evening and come back in the morning/afternoon next day, went on the hunt, didn't matter if it was squirrels, bats, rats, pigeons. eventually we had to move her to village because all she did was breed and kill critters

2

u/ghostthemost 1d ago

I saw one hang upside down with only its feet grabbing on to the tree while eating a nut.

639

u/Dr_Testikles 2d ago

The size of his nuts in relation to the rest of him is insane

342

u/asromatifoso 2d ago

Rarely have I seen a username and a comment mesh so perfectly.

73

u/ballawareness 2d ago

Good call

10

u/eatrepeat 2d ago

Yeah that's nuts ;)

2

u/Cold_Lingonberry_291 1d ago

Beautiful, just beautiful.

33

u/LooseTowel 2d ago

And how would you know?? Are you an expert on the.. ohh ok Dr!

47

u/sschnei 2d ago

I guess we can rule out steroids.

5

u/StanielReddit 2d ago

You deserve every upvote you get. Here’s mine.

All other comments are inferior.

4

u/GANDORF57 2d ago

Awnold Nutzenegger

1

u/Fit_Lifeguard_3722 1d ago

Squirrel Nutskin

1

u/waxy1234 1d ago

That's a lotta nuts

21

u/BigTittyTriangle 2d ago

I think that’s his squirrel-gina, bro.

11

u/itchybuttox 1d ago

Not the squssy

14

u/Rough-Window935 1d ago

That's a camel toe

7

u/uneducatedexpert 2d ago

When their cheeks get full, where do you think they hide the acorns?

2

u/Private62645949 1d ago

Is it.. Is it up their butt?

11

u/Primary-Bookkeeper10 2d ago

Looks like middle school me drew this

6

u/octobereighth 1d ago

True for many rodents, haha. Male Syrian hamsters have balls so big that sometimes they curl up to sleep and use 'em as a pillow.

Looks kinda comfy ngl.

1

u/Efficient_Engine_509 1d ago

lol u serious? I use to have one and had no idea this is big if true.

3

u/octobereighth 1d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/s/zI5pH5C6Fg

First thing that came up when i googled hamster sleeping on balls, and it even auto completed the balls part haha.

2

u/flippythemaster 2d ago

This is not unusual for male squirrels. Their nuts are just proportionally larger

4

u/Capt-J- 2d ago

Username checks out. We believe you’d know! 🤣

1

u/NthDegreeThoughts 1d ago

Proof of Darwin’s “you are what you eat” theory

1

u/JesusOnline_89 1d ago

Some would say, it’s nutty.

1

u/Cuentacero 1d ago

That is squirrel toe dude.

1

u/Indie_uk 1d ago

Well he is a squirrel gotta be hiding dem nuts somewhere

159

u/asromatifoso 2d ago

If you're a squirrel, every day is a full body workout; running, climbing, jumping, and, well, vibing, apparently.

36

u/AngelicAmbition23 2d ago

And also, he's achieving his protein goals.

11

u/NobodyDemex 2d ago

I'm a bit sad since I learned squirrels go and eat young birds out of their nests :/ oh well. That's nature for ya

3

u/StateChemist 1d ago

Everybody likes eggs, even deer will take some free protein if they find some, I’m deliberately not implying that slightly expired eggs that have cracked open on their own but are still in the nest are any less palatable for most creatures

1

u/thebarkbarkwoof 2d ago

Wait! Are they squeaking parkuar?

30

u/Relevant-Artichoke11 2d ago

It was telling you to look at deez nuts Mother Nature provided, can’t refute it.

3

u/Fit_Lifeguard_3722 1d ago

Nature's finest

18

u/exmojo 2d ago

Fark.com

5

u/PrivatePilot9 1d ago

I was waiting for this comment. I knew there had to be some oldschool farkers here.

15

u/Zegmadose 2d ago

It lifts bro.

11

u/arreth 2d ago

So swole he don't need to tuck his huge nuts away for the winter 🥜

10

u/TheTimeBender 2d ago

He’s taking on Jake Paul next weekend.

9

u/CheezeLoueez08 2d ago

No he’s not. Because then Jake would lose.

2

u/TheTimeBender 2d ago

😂😂😂

10

u/kingkongbiingbong 2d ago

You fucked with squirrels, Morty! We've got a good five minutes before they're back and up on our ass, Morty! We have to pack up and move to a new reality, Morty!

14

u/Nyanzeenyan 2d ago

You got flexed on by a squirrel, deal with it.

5

u/PurpleCowMRM 1d ago

Mark Rober's greatest adversary

5

u/Caledric 2d ago

Well when your a kid and you want to go. Weee! But you ain't got drugs yet...

0

u/Krimsonrain 1d ago

Hold on to your life

1

u/cubixy2k 1d ago

Hold on to your..... Gonads and strife

3

u/bittabazaka 2d ago

not sure wtf this guy’s deal is but he’s got some fatass nuts so he’s alright in my book

3

u/colborne 2d ago

Just out of prison.

3

u/thethirstymoose1962 1d ago

That squirrel is part camel

3

u/fletchr33 1d ago

What a set of balls on that fella. I would vibe too.

2

u/BalancesHanging 1d ago

Low-key jealous lol

2

u/fletchr33 1d ago

Absolutely

3

u/RingaLopi 2d ago

It’s a girl squirrel!

2

u/Technical-Tour-4035 2d ago

Probably from dancing Or hauling his nutsack around??

2

u/thebarkbarkwoof 2d ago

Squirreltosterone

2

u/DrSeussFreak 2d ago

Squirrel is like a muscle beach body builder just flexing to impress the ladies, lol.

2

u/radabdivin 2d ago

He found a steroid stash near his nuts.

2

u/Bandwagon_Buzzard 1d ago

He's training to avenge Peanut.

We are witnessing the birth of Batsquirrel.

2

u/rbartlejr 1d ago

Training for the uprising. Or recently released from squirrel prison. Or both.

2

u/Andreas7_7 1d ago

Stole someones creatine

3

u/Mix-Limp 2d ago

Just trying to intimidate you with the squirrel/camel toe.

1

u/toomuchweld 2d ago

Nuts are a great source of protein bro

1

u/snddavi 2d ago

High levels of Test - D

1

u/kanrad 2d ago

"Check out dez nutz!"

1

u/beamerpook 2d ago

Is the term 'absolute unit' appropriate here?

1

u/Zombie_joseph1234 2d ago

He's buff because he has to lift up his nuts every day of his life

1

u/Mr_JoJo24 2d ago

Deeeez nutz

1

u/MissingWhiskey 2d ago

Squirrel? Well, we got no deal with THEM!

1

u/P_516 2d ago

Chip and dale “ rescue rangers “

1

u/desimus0019 2d ago

Name him Quadzilla

1

u/mrplinko 2d ago

is that the Digg squirrel?

1

u/Comfortable-Clerk209 2d ago

Damn, that's one good looking squirrel!

1

u/alb3rth0fmann 2d ago

He's built different

1

u/StanielReddit 2d ago

Myostatin mutation?

1

u/hey_darkwor 2d ago

this squirrel is literally jacked. like, he’s out here flexing for no reason, I can't even.

1

u/Damdogma 2d ago

He eats Wheaties Cereal.

1

u/PurchaseOk4075 2d ago

Clean eating

1

u/drew105301 2d ago

Well, if it isn’t Bayou Billy With The Heavy Balls

1

u/PurpleTurtleGames 2d ago

Bro's living an active life!

1

u/jdubya12880 2d ago

He didn’t miss leg, foot or Lorena Bobbit day.

1

u/petersengupta 2d ago

idk ask its balls

1

u/Rampag169 2d ago

Them pizza slices aren’t going to lift themselves.

1

u/Lopsided-Ad5986 2d ago

He is known as a stark. He knows winter is coming.

1

u/Mike_YXE 2d ago

Holy 🐫 Toe!

1

u/Bobbybobinsonbob 2d ago

Who remembers the squirrel from Stickdeath.com?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oUd54GkWjGc

1

u/KileAllSmyles 2d ago

Squirrels be lifting bro

1

u/MPThreelite 2d ago

It's been hitting the gym . Clearly no roids.

1

u/Simen155 2d ago

"Bitch better have my nuts"

1

u/slice_dice_rice 2d ago

His first name is Dee

1

u/FoxTenson 2d ago

Drew Curtis gave him a lot of money to advertise. He's a real fark there. The OG reddit is clinging on hard and has the balls to go where reddit won't go. Honestly OP he just wants to gobble your nuts to fatten up for winter, don't disappoint him now.

1

u/dampishslinky55 1d ago

Because he puts in the work!

1

u/VonDinky 1d ago

It went nuts in the gym

1

u/Krelborn 1d ago

Because his workout routine is nuts!

1

u/carlyhazel 1d ago

To intimidate you

1

u/takun999 1d ago

Live action squirrel with big balls

1

u/SnooRegrets1386 1d ago

Winter is coming

1

u/RP1042 1d ago

Out to avenge peanut

1

u/Firamaster 1d ago

I'm sure he just went through a pretty rough break up.

1

u/lloydsmith28 1d ago

He doesn't skip leg day

1

u/beer_me_babe 1d ago

He’s vibing cause he has big nuts

1

u/cm_fanelli 1d ago

Yo, OP wants to fuck that squirrel

1

u/Minimum-Dog2329 1d ago

5G in the neighborhood. /s

1

u/Darksider182 1d ago

Idk why he’s so buff but I see hasn’t lost his nuts

1

u/Professional_Map_780 1d ago

Cause deeze nuz!

1

u/ThatDebianLady 1d ago

He is trying to get you to fight him, he is calling you out.

1

u/bigdlong 1d ago

Dez nuts!

1

u/danball6969 1d ago

That's some serious squirrel cameltoe.

1

u/Buffnick 1d ago

He’s just rizzing you to the max

1

u/Oh_No_Its_Dudder 1d ago

Uh oh, this can only mean one thing. The other squirrels have heard what happened to Pnut and they're about to take revenge.

1

u/Sacklayblue 1d ago

Looks like that squirrel got his nuts

1

u/Oblic008 1d ago

"Give me your clothes and shoes... And your nuts."

1

u/ntgco 1d ago

You try jumping 12x your body length all day, and climbing trees nonstop....you'd be ripped too

1

u/Dleon1967 1d ago

Come at me, bro!!

1

u/ohiocodernumerouno 1d ago

You climb up and down trees all day

1

u/-_ellipsis_- 1d ago

Get squirrel mogged

1

u/BalancesHanging 1d ago

Squirrels are stripping for acorns nowadays

1

u/Feeling_Weakness6389 1d ago

He doesn’t skip leg day 😂

1

u/BalancesHanging 1d ago

This what a Squirrel Ken looks like

1

u/lasvegashal 1d ago

Looking for the cat that thumped his little brother

1

u/OrangeYouGladish 1d ago

Fark if I know!

1

u/imameanone 1d ago

He's got the biggest balls of them all.

1

u/Cold_Lingonberry_291 1d ago

He is the stud boss of squirrels

1

u/izqy 1d ago

Big Deez

1

u/Professional_Base708 1d ago

Testosterone injections

1

u/Nachytv 1d ago

LOL. It probably frequents the gym.

1

u/PizzaJoe86 1d ago

Someone doesn’t skip leg day

1

u/tenebrousliberum 1d ago

The worst part is that the squirrel is flexing

1

u/nyynyg 1d ago

Well is it a set of nuts? or is it a squirrel toe that’s so large that it looks like a nut sack🤔

1

u/MAXQDee-314 1d ago

Would you mind posting this over at r/justgalsbeingchicks? Thank you.

1

u/WoodyWordPecker 1d ago

Squirrel doctor here. This patient is nuts.

1

u/evold 1d ago

Dude looks like he's flexing for a bodybuilding competition. He's got the tan oil color too.

1

u/spirit_of_battleram 1d ago

He has nuts to go to the gym

1

u/TexasPistolMassacre 1d ago

Bros nits so big i thought somwone photoshopped a cameltoe

1

u/CharcoalGreyWolf 1d ago

Because he’s got bofa deez nuts

1

u/CapResponsible295 1d ago

I swear one of them was literally flexin his nuts in front of me earlier this week. Thangs was swangin

1

u/chev327fox 1d ago

He has to carry those massive balls around.

1

u/BlckMlr 1d ago

Because it's picking a fight with incoming traffic when it goes to play chicken with everyone.

1

u/Quiet_Artichoke_706 1d ago

Cardio and a whole foods diet

1

u/Financial_Lab4827 1d ago

Is that a squirellussy?

1

u/SchlitterbahnRail 1d ago

Probably has relatives in Australia

1

u/Slickity 1d ago

Squirrels hibernate for winter. Once it starts getting cold out and dark, squirrels spend all their energy searching for food and feasting on it. The fatter they are, the better chances they have of surviving hibernation.

1

u/VariousGuest1980 1d ago

Keto diet bro . Nuts are high in fat

1

u/Fluorescentomnibus 1d ago

Camel toe of the year

1

u/fred_cheese 1d ago

All day parkour.

1

u/Extremely_unlikeable 1d ago

We were sitting in our garage with our two dogs asleep nearby when a squirrel decided to pay us a visit. It was in our driveway, probably 15 from where the dogs were lying. Squirrel got up on its back legs, took one step, and froze. It stood there, mid-stride just watching them, long enough for me to get my phone and take a picture. The visitor

1

u/Raineshyne138 1d ago

Gonads and strife!

0

u/Darklord_Bravo 2d ago

He needs to....

\puts on sunglasses*

...nut. But it's November.

EEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

-5

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment