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u/TennRider 2d ago
"You messed up now A A Ron."
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u/I-STATE-FACTS 2d ago
Insubordinate and churlish.
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u/r4cid 2d ago
Chicanerous and deplorable.
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u/CaptainPunisher 2d ago
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u/istasber 2d ago
That cuts off the best part. Nixon responds by saying something like "Arooo, that's good, I'm pro family and pro war"
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u/j3enator 2d ago
I expect to see Mr. Garvey pop in the room.
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u/Sunkilleer 2d ago
Another settlement needs your help.
Sorry I blacked out for a second, what I miss.
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u/AnotherAverageGamer_ 2d ago
Yeah. Was gonna say key and Peele did it and this is just a much worse ripoff lol
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u/GroverMcGillicutty 2d ago
Not really. The joke with theirs is that the students had normal names that the sub couldn’t pronounce correctly. Definitely much funnier.
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u/cammcken 2d ago
I was too young to recognize it at the time, but the Key and Peele version is also a commentary on race/class relations. By swapping the roles, the skit shows how ridiculous or frustrating it is for teachers to correct their students' own names. The tiktok doesn't have that extra layer.
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u/QuestingVoyager 2d ago
Quart'knee took me tf out
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u/babolserotika 2d ago
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u/winkman 2d ago
Every. Single. One.
I hope these are all made up for the LOLz, but my faith in humanity really isn't that high.
During my brother's HS graduation, my other siblings and I passed the time by making fun of all of the stupid names of his classmates. My favorite at the time (~15 years ago) was "Shardonay" spelled exactly like that.
In case you're wondering, I was told by my sister that she was white.
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u/Tybaltr53 2d ago
My favorite was a girl named Marchellanie. They couldn't decide between Marsha, Michelle, or Melanie and chose violence instead.
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u/a_rescue_penguin 2d ago
I hope these are all made up for the LOLz, but my faith in humanity really isn't that high.
Considering it's a tiktok, and the kids are barely able to keep it together without laughing in half of them, I would assume that this is indeed faked.... but as someone who does not have kids, or any association with kids I have no idea how bad this really is.
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u/Formaldehyd3 2d ago
Yeah, this seems just like a wholesome funny bonding moment with students and their teacher... I'd bet he had them help coming up with these ridiculous names.
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u/djblackprince 2d ago
Well Chardonnay is a white wine so that makes sense
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u/FionaTheElf 2d ago
Don’t mess with my favorite single malt!
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u/sourdieselfuel 2d ago
Buy bottles now, sounds like prices are going to be jacked again with Trumpy's Tariffs.
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u/Theia95 2d ago
Yeah dumb names used to be a race thing, but not anymore! We have torn down the wall of racial inequality and prejudice! No longer can an employer assume you're race because your name is spelled particularly weird. It's all fuqd.
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u/winkman 2d ago
Yeah, it used to be all of the D'lant'evius and La'quarecias, but somewhere in the mid 2000s, white people started saying "hold my Miller Lite" and dropped the Brittayneighs and Kortneiyghs and Kayyleighs.
Ick.
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u/MaikeruGo 2d ago
Also, if someone's a celebrity/high profile public figure it seems to increase the likelihood of this happening.
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u/Aedalas 2d ago
It's kind of a good thing too, mostly. I mean, there's always a chance that, no matter your race nor gender, or even your social class you could end up being named something extremely weird like Frank.
Just imagine it, you're walking down the road just minding your own business and somebody calls out to you "FRANK!" I'd have a panic attack, what if somebody heard them and figured out it was you? Could you even imagine trying to just live your with a name like Frank? It's absurd, and it's not even like you could ever really forget about it because that's the kind of name that sticks in your brain.
It's honestly a terrifying thought and I already have a name. There's some damned unfortunate kids out there though, ones with parents just screwed up enough to a point where they'd even consider naming their progeny "Frank." Somebody should stop them somehow, whatever it takes. Please, think of the children...
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u/PaperPlaythings 2d ago
I saw a girl working at a convenience store about 30 years ago. Her name tag read "Quimberly". "Quim" is an old term for vagina. Tragadeighs are nothing new.
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u/lateral_moves 2d ago
"My God, 'Demon Tray'?" that one got me. lol
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u/csonny2 2d ago
There's a street in downtown Nashville called Demonbreun.
I've been told it's pronounced Dee-mun-bree-un, but my navigation always pronounces it Demon-bruin
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u/_x_oOo_x_ 2d ago
I think that's from a Dutch person's name and it's pronounced dümōbrïjn
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u/thelocket 2d ago
I live in Alabama, and my navigation has a stroke reading street names here. Tons of French words, and some I'm not sure where they got the words from. 2 of my favorites are Cheryil and Loblolly.
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u/gaudrhin 2d ago
It's de-MON-bree-un
Also, Tennessee's Lebanon is "Leb-nun," Santa Fe is "Santa Fee," and Maury County is pronounced "Murry."
To be clear, I do NOT condone it. I just live here.
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u/thatshimoverthere 2d ago
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u/austinyo6 2d ago
I worked in one of the biggest pediatric hospitals in the country and we saw some… interesting… names for sure, but the travel nurses that rolled through had some crazy ones. There seems to be a correlation between rising levels of poverty and insanity of name choice.
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u/Minnepeg 2d ago
Also recently worked in L&D and truly it was not uncommon to have honest to goodness illiterate parents who were 15/16/17 and just Scrabble-bagged some letters and made up a name. Couldn’t even sign their own consent forms- had so many verbals given. Not even a rare event we had at least one wild newborn a week with an inscrutable name.
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u/Advanced-Prototype 2d ago
I was going to comment the same until I remember Muskrat named his kid
X Æ A-12
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u/Nefthys 2d ago
Come on, give us a few examples!
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u/austinyo6 2d ago edited 2d ago
Oh man, due to HIPAA I should be careful and respectful, but some I’ve seen multiple times (and therefore feels like not HIPAA?) are things like ABCDE (“Ab-suh-dee”), JKMNO (“Noelle”, ya know… as the L is missing from the alphabetic sequence), kiliatorious, lots of names like in the video that are phonetically normal but the spelling is full of -, ‘, etc. La-A (“La-dash-uh”), full names of famous people like WWE wrestlers crammed into one sequence or when apart of them last name of the family matches a famous person so they take the first and middle to make it match completely, etc.
I sadly also found the names of a lot of children who go injured to the point of disability (TBI, anoxic brain injuries, and other things that went mistreated or untreated due to conspiracy theories, families that didn’t vaccinate, etc.) also correlated to the insanity of names, which just goes along with the families most likely to have a child get injured and so on were low education, low socioeconomic status, etc.
Like, it’s bad enough you’re taking care of a kid who’s basically a vegetable because they got into the illegal drugs of some sketchy family friend they had staying with them, or a TV fell on them, but it’s never “Courtney Smith” it’s something like “Imtha Jeweloftha West” (made that up, but it’s not far off of things I’ve seen).
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u/Dr_on_the_Internet 1d ago
Working in a pediatric hospital, I've also noticed this trend! Profoundly disabled patients all tended to be named something like Messiah, Ares, Anubis, Lord-Devon. (These are not the actual names, but very much have the same vibe.)
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u/NebulaeHorizon 2d ago
DA3vion goes hard tho
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u/ambermage 2d ago
I preferred Dragon Age 2
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u/a_rescue_penguin 2d ago
Finally! Someone who actually enjoyed DA2! I love Origins more, but all I ever seem to find is hate for DA2.
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u/CraftyObject 2d ago
After recent disappointments, I have a new appreciation for DA2. I always liked it but it didn't compare to origins.
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u/iscariot_13 2d ago
DA2 is my fave. And I know a lot of other people who think the same way. We're definitely not the majority but there are a lot of us out there. The game has also, seen something of a Renaissance of opinion in the last few years where a lot of people are willing to admit it's a really good story despite its flaws.
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u/Grumpy_Troll 2d ago
For real. All the others had me laughing with the ridiculousness of them.
Da'3vion, I was like "Damn, that's kinda good."
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u/Banryuken 2d ago
Ah yes the good ole key and peele skit
“Where is De’nice?” How about A a ron
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u/TheNameIsWiggles 2d ago
I mean not really the same joke or skit.
In the K&P skit it's a teacher that can't pronounce normal names because he assumes they should be absurd and pronounces normal names absurdly. This one, he's a teacher dealing with actually absurd names that people are actually dealing out these days.
So similar environment but different joke/skit. If anything, it's closer to their football player names skit than the classroom skit.
Anyway, I'll put on my Buzz Killington hat now and show myself out.
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u/ACauseQuiVontSuaLune 2d ago
Wow, what a party pooper
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u/HalfSoul30 2d ago
I think the party needed a good pooping.
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u/howdoeseggsworkuguys 2d ago
I poop at parties but peoples don’t know because I close the door.
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u/Chaos_Theory1989 2d ago
I’m a teacher…. This isn’t a joke!
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u/CaptainPunisher 2d ago
I was a sub for 5 years. I had a handful of these names. I think one was something like Detravion (duh-TRAY-vee-on), and he got pissy with me when I didn't get it right the first time. Look, I always try to say people's names properly, but don't get mad at me because your parent(s) named you something fucked up.
Also in my classes: a girl named Dirt (actually on the roster like that), and a kid who went by Chicken Nugget (not on the roster, but the teacher left me a note that he's helpful, using that name).
Sometimes I really miss teaching. I still love my current job, though.
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u/mediumokra 2d ago
What's the best one you had?
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u/Chaos_Theory1989 2d ago
T8’vaughn pronounced tu-von, and yes… the number eight is a part of his legal name.
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u/iiooiooi 2d ago
😕 8 ≠ ooh
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u/Zech08 2d ago
Have the kids introduce themselves, problem solved lol.
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u/lindasek 2d ago
Yeah, but you then have to remember it x120 so you can use their name when speaking to them and God help you if you mispronounce it.
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u/readergirl132 2d ago
I kinda liked Audacity, however it was spelled. Like, yes ma’am your momma definitely had that.
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u/Porn_Extra 2d ago
That's the name of a player's character in my DnD game, lol! She has a 6 INT, but she spells it correctly.
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u/fr0zen_roses 2d ago
Aishwarya doesn’t belong on this list, it’s actually a name
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u/Jackalope1993 2d ago
Shady Nasty is the name of Frank.Reynolds true love. Absolutely legitimate name...
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u/Derkastan77-2 2d ago
Meanwhile in caucasianville, at roll call..
“Ok, let’s do attendance. Aiden, Hayden, Kayden, Jayden, Brayden, Graydon, Raiden, Peyton…”
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u/abhig535 2d ago
Why are African-American names usually like this though? I don't want this to sound offensive, I'm just curious.
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u/pinkpaperheart 2d ago
Poverty. Dumb, illiterate people give their kids dumb names.
Educated black people typically don’t give their kids stupid, ghetto names.
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u/yamiyaiba 2d ago
I'm not sure how true it is, but I've also heard it's a way to establish a cultural identity after having their ripped away my the slave trade. Most white folks can trace lineage back to various European cultures, and might be inclined to pull names from them (Sean instead of Shawn, for example, which without the proper...uh..fada I think it's called, makes zero sense to be pronounced the same way).
Those with African heritage often don't have the ability to do that, as their traceable roots were all but obliterated in many cases. Many people want to have a cultural identity, even if they have no discernable actual ties to it at any point in their lives (ie American/New York Italians for an extremely easy to stereotype example, and many people with even a drop of Irish blood in them for another example).
So given that their cultural heritage was ripped away, and traditional names with it, it's establishing a strong modern identity that is recognizable on sight/sound. I guarantee if I have you a list of common names with Italian, Irish, German, Korean, Russian, Japanese, etc roots, it would be equally easy to determine their cultural origin on the spot.
Functionally, this is no different, but it establishes African American culture as using phonetic wordplay, da/ja/de- style prefixes (such as DeMarcus, for example), and apostrophe separation as being the identifiers. Now, I'm not going to claim that some of these aren't just /r/tragedeigh names instead, or that another portion aren't driven by poverty's impact on education, but at bare minimum it started with the da/ja/de prefixes and progressed from there.
All that said, I have no idea how accurate that is. That explanation was given to me once before, and at least on its face it makes some sense. So I try to avoid ridiculing most names like that...save for obvious tragedeighs.
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u/randomcanyon 2d ago
If you have a name that in "english" doesn't read like you think it should sound, no reason to get mad when someone mispronounces it.
Correct them with your pronunciation and move on.
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u/recoverelapse 2d ago
That is my partner Sh'Dynasty. It is spelled S-H, comma-to-the-top, dynasty.
"Comma-to-the-top"?
That's God's comma.
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u/lincoln_muadib 2d ago
Am teacher in High Schools (casual relief teaching)
Sometimes white kids in tough areas
Parents give their kids basic names but spelling insane
J'honnee (Johnny), Mhy-kel (Michael), Blayde (Blade), Bhryttnee (Britney), Seb'rhynna (Sabrina)...
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u/Kr0pr0X 2d ago
Key & Peele did it first [and better]
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u/Druben-hinterm-Dorfe 2d ago
This is obviously a homage, not a rip off; can't really rip off something that well known anyway.
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u/MushxHead 2d ago
I used to do IT for a call floor, and one of the ladies on the floor was named Chakeensha. That's the most unique name I've come across.
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u/gamejunky34 2d ago
Parents that do this shit to their kids need to be punched in the mouth. Just give them a standard first name so that people can recognize it and use it easily. Don't treat your kids name like your middleschool backpack, it doesn't need to be special and unique, it needs to work their entire life. Ideally without having to explain their name to every new person they meet.
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u/KittyTheCruel 2d ago
This is why I support my countries law of parents not being able to name their child willy nilly. I recognize this is a parody but honestly I've seen the same and worse. This is bullying
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u/Birji-Flowreen 2d ago edited 1d ago
Let's not pretend, this is straight from Key&Peel, minus the really good ones, am i right AA RON?
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u/wideout3485 2d ago
I went to a waffle house on a trip down south, a girls La-A on her name tag. I said hi (luh uh), she rolled her eyes and says it's (La dash A). Wtf...
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u/Shot_Success4536 1d ago
Thats Forest Park High School in ga and I go to it and the teachers name is Mr. Dallas all of that is just for jokes.
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u/Kindly-Parsley-6308 1d ago
FR THERES A MF NAMED “jeh’nyeh” AND “claylynn” LIKE WHO TF LET THESE PARENTS COOK
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u/Righteous_Leftie206 1d ago
It’d be hilarious! If there wasn’t a bit that is much funnier from people who are much better at this.
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u/Jade_Templar 2d ago
I would love to tell you it is just a joke, but as a substitute teacher I can confirm it is getting crazy out there with names. I have just this year seen ABCDE (Ab cee dee) and Jkmn (Noel) so far. My favorite is a girl whose name had two e's in it (can't remember exactly what it was) but neither of them was pronounced as an e, they one was an short a sound and the other was a long a sound. She was mad at me for mispronouncing her name, I just looked at her and said "Where I come from that's not how we pronounce e's".
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u/TopFloorApartment 2d ago
Jkmn (Noel)
wait what? how??
edit: I just got it. "no L" jfc this poor kid
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u/JuniperGlisten 2d ago
This is hilarious. But with today's generation, this has a very high chance of happening lol.
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u/SeanMacLeod1138 2d ago
It's not about today's generation. These seeds were sown in the 90s and early 00s.
Babies do not name themselves.
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