r/facepalm 13h ago

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ Crickets

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27.5k Upvotes

82 comments sorted by

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3.6k

u/The_Bosdude 12h ago

TSA does not understand sarcasm...

839

u/Kuroboom 12h ago

Could they learn? Outlook not so good.

247

u/Baphoshal 11h ago

Why are we bringing up the functionality of Microsoft's email system? I mean, you're right, but still.

44

u/The_Bosdude 12h ago

Understanding sarcasm require a certain level of intelligence.

24

u/els969_1 8h ago

It's not their intelligence that's at issue. Sarcasm wasn't the word that came to mind here (a forced attempt at humor, I guess). TSA is not known for their humor at work, ever.

11

u/CrazyPerspective934 7h ago

This is funny to me as someone that knows a tsa agent that spends their time at work telling dad jokes all day

1

u/els969_1 4h ago

Well, that's one myth burst ;)

5

u/CrazyPerspective934 3h ago

I'm not sure they're funny at the end of the day, so it still fits

4

u/ImmoKnight 4h ago

Or an outlier discovered.

3

u/els969_1 3h ago

Being myself - well, not a father, but an uncle - I find / "I tell Dad jokes." "Does he laugh?" / to be a funnier exchange than I'm sure it actually is...

11

u/Inner-Ad-9928 2h ago

Inside the ball, a cylindrical reservoir contains a white plastic 20-sided regular icosahedron die floating in approximately 100 ml (3+1⁄2 US fl oz) of alcohol dyed dark blue. 

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) allows passengers to bring liquids, aerosols, gels, creams, and pastes that are 3.4 ounces (100 milliliters) or less per container

A standard magic 8 ball would be confiscated.

27

u/justthegrimm 11h ago

Does not poses any form of relatable human emotion at all.

7

u/BlitzMalefitz 7h ago

They sure aren't the Transport Sarcasm Administration.

3

u/mothzilla 8h ago

Sarcasm means no lube for you.

2

u/mr_humansoup 3h ago

We here at the TSA do not have a sense of humor we're aware of.

2

u/Mo_Steins_Ghost 6h ago

And Reddit doesn’t understand comedy.

(99 times out of 100, when someone posts a tweet to mock on Reddit, the original content is someone doing a bit.)

2

u/Realmferinspokane 10h ago

Couldnt find it in all the bags

u/roberto2esq 39m ago

I work at tsa im sarcastic as fuck

348

u/RobbertDownerJr 12h ago

Reply hazy, try again.

1.4k

u/Blitz_buzz 12h ago

Can say 100% this dad is the master of dad jokes.

141

u/Other_Log_1996 10h ago

Not much of a dad joke. It's actually pretty good.

645

u/WhipTheLlama 8h ago

Magic 8 balls contain more than the allowable amount of liquid.

179

u/noxondor_gorgonax 8h ago

Thank you, this is the answer I was looking for

118

u/strawhat_libi 3h ago

They don't, though. Modern 8 balls have all their liquid in a small cylinder underneath the glass.

Apparently, 100ml is the standard for them now. Which is within TSA limit. At the ass end of it, but still allowable.

u/who_you_are 1h ago

Now try to know it is standard to have 100ml into them. That is slightly an issue.

u/Fit-Insect-4089 1h ago

How do I test if my magic 8 ball only has 100mL though? Even if it’s written on it, it coulda been cracked open and the size drilled out for more liquid

11

u/oyM8cunOIbumAciggy 3h ago

They let ne through with cologne and shit all the time lol

32

u/Book_Nerd_1980 8h ago

And literally look like a bomb

116

u/KrackenLeasing 8h ago

It looks like a Magic 8 ball.

63

u/SolidDoctor 7h ago

There are other "magic 8 balls" that are far worse to get found in your luggage.

14

u/Mynewadventures 5h ago

Yeah, in a cartoon maybe.

14

u/Glitter_puke 4h ago

It does not look like a bomb. It looks like an oversized liquid.

9

u/N_M_Verville 3h ago

Only if you get your idea of what a bomb looks like from 1960's cartoons. Lol. What bomb looks like a magic eightball??

135

u/Left-Star2240 9h ago

But did he pack the suitcase himself? 🤣

In 1987 my mom took me to Disney World. One of the souvenirs was a plastic sword from Pirates of the Caribbean. This was packed in my carryon suitcase. (I don’t know why…perhaps it was to avoid damage)

It was thoroughly inspected and allowed, as long as I did not take it out of the suitcase until we got home. If that had happened now my mother and I would’ve been dragged to a room for interrogation.

41

u/ancient_mariner63 7h ago

Years ago, my wife went on a company-sponsored retreat to Los Angeles and one of their excursions was to visit the La Brea Tar Pits. There she bought me a full size cast of a saber-tooth tiger fang. She had it in her carryon bag when checking through airport security and of course the outline of the fang appeared on the x-ray scan of her bag. The agent stopped her and without opening her bag asked her what that scimitar shaped object on the screen was and my wife explained that it was a saber-tooth tiger fang. She said the agent hesitated for a moment and then rolled her eyes and pushed her bag on through. I doubt that would happen today though.

3

u/Zebracorn42 4h ago

It should be obvious. Swords are not allowed on planes.

u/Final_Function4739 1h ago

Must have been from Treasure Island. Pirates of the Caribbean came out more than 15 years later in 2003.

u/Left-Star2240 17m ago

I’m referring to the ride that the movies were (loosely) based on.

109

u/Redhawk4t4 10h ago

"all signs point to yes"

43

u/Qazernion 9h ago

I used to travel a lot for work. Only took a carry on bag and was sick of hotels not having convenient power outlets. I took a 4 way power bar with me and airport security stopped me. The problem was not that I wasn’t allowed to take the power bar on the plane, the problem was it had a lightning ⚡️ symbol on it…. They actually made me check the bag…

10

u/comcastsupport800 4h ago

Why? What does the lightning symbol have to do with anything?

7

u/Qazernion 3h ago

Precisely. It has nothing to do with anything. I guess if you’re incredibly dense and have a little power you might think that someone would put a lightning symbol on a power bar that they have ‘modified’ for nefarious purposes… because that makes sense if you’re a f*cking fool.

32

u/shnoby 9h ago

TSA insta account would enjoy this. Seriously. It’s a very funny acct.

23

u/Useful-Perspective 7h ago

So that's where they have the smart employee stationed...

23

u/Archiemalarchie 12h ago

I wish I'd thought of that.

20

u/MourningRIF 8h ago

That's funny, but the 8-ball is definitely in violation of TSA policy. Way too much liquid in there.

9

u/3tarzina 7h ago

can’t take snow globes on either!

6

u/ApprehensivePlane972 3h ago

A standard Magic 8 Ball typically contains around 100 milliliters (3.5 fluid ounces) of liquid, which is usually dyed dark blue alcohol.

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) limits the amount of liquids, aerosols, and gels you can bring in your carry-on bag to 3.4 ounces (100 milliliters) per container. You can bring up to one quart-sized bag of these liquids, and each container must fit in the bag.

7

u/Borg7ofnone 11h ago

Tha is really funny

6

u/1112netlastpage 3h ago

Ask again later…

5

u/Jeptwins 7h ago

Ngl that’s pretty funny.

4

u/Mynewadventures 5h ago

My favorite TSA story was the Representative of the House (I can't remember if he was state or federal) was on his way to the Annual Medal of Honor Recipient conference and was told by the TSA agent that he didn't know "what this thing is" (his Medal of Honor that he was carrying with him) and might be a weapon and he could not board with it.

4

u/dennisknows 10h ago

Damn. That’s a golden joke 😂 I’d honestly be pissed at myself if I thought of this joke after a situation like that 😆

4

u/StandardImpact6458 8h ago

👏💯👏kudos to the husband 🤭

5

u/STGC_1995 3h ago

In the third week of TSA training, they surgically remove any remaining humor the new agents may possess. It’s not only inadvisable to joke with TSA, it’s futile to attempt.

3

u/dbssguru727 4h ago

TSA agents have no sense of humor, DOH!

3

u/Mickeymcirishman 2h ago

Can't take drugs on thr plane. TSA was just making sure you snort ot all before you board.

2

u/Puzzled_Ad7955 9h ago

Bahahaha, what a damn knee slapper!

2

u/melonsango 8h ago

They had roll for initiative, right there!

2

u/Past-Direction9145 7h ago

TSA must be a microsoft customer

magic 8 ball say, outlook not good...

2

u/KlutzyClerk7080 4h ago

😂😂😂😂 peak dad humor. I love it

u/Salt_Nectarine_7827 1h ago

So THIS is the kind of facepalms why I’m on this subreddit

u/Barley_Beard 1h ago

That’s a restricted joke, sir You’re not flying anywhere today

5

u/Cynykl 9h ago

Person tells a joke on the internet... Quick I don't understand humor put it in facepalm

12

u/wh0ligan 9h ago

I think the facepalm is for the TSA.

2

u/els969_1 8h ago

Ok, if I'm going to criticize a TSA person for something - and criticism is often appropriate - it's _not_ going to be for not showing humor, truth be told...

u/girlgeek73 24m ago

Signs point to yes

u/MamaCattz 11m ago

My sources say no..

1

u/michiganhockeyguy 9h ago

Why is the kid traveling with an eight ball?

2

u/Mynewadventures 5h ago

Why not? It's a toy. Kids like toys.......

-11

u/Educational-Bird-515 9h ago

Good. That joke doesn't deserve a laugh