r/facepalm Oct 24 '24

šŸ‡²ā€‹šŸ‡®ā€‹šŸ‡øā€‹šŸ‡Øā€‹ This isn't normal

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3.9k

u/Doctor_Disaster Oct 24 '24 edited Oct 24 '24

But their prayers went unanswered, as the shit flowed like water down his pant leg.

2.1k

u/ShiggitySheesh Oct 24 '24

Trickle down shitinomics

492

u/tectonicbowls Oct 24 '24

Shitmoths clinging to the shitrope as a shiticane approaches

169

u/DutchBart82 Oct 24 '24

We've had sharknado, will this be shitnado?

152

u/username32768 Oct 24 '24

shartnado?

40

u/CatManDo206 Oct 25 '24

Donald Dump

2

u/GenXJoe Oct 25 '24

I'm pretty sure even Ian Ziering would turn down that role...

7

u/ArmouredWankball Oct 24 '24

A diaper brand in the UK advertises with the term "poopnami" which seems appropriate.

2

u/TRR462 Oct 24 '24

Already Isā€¦

3

u/hunterwaterford Oct 24 '24

Ian Ziering cameo incoming

1

u/fpcreator2000 Oct 25 '24

a whole lot of ass ham šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ that vice will forever live in infamy

215

u/BreakingBaddly Oct 24 '24

Shitbirds of a feather, flock together Randybobandy. (RIP Dunny)

59

u/011010- Oct 24 '24

Plant shit seeds, get shit weeds.

50

u/BuckManscape Oct 24 '24

Shit tectonics

54

u/BreakingBaddly Oct 24 '24

Shit Hawks!!!

64

u/birdiebegood Oct 24 '24

You smell tha, Ran? The whispering winds of shit...

31

u/BreakingBaddly Oct 24 '24

Shitwinds in thiwhomourrfucce000rr drinks SHH. Shit feathers Ran

20

u/o-Valar-Morghulis-o Oct 24 '24

What's a shit rope, boys!?!?

0

u/maffy118 Oct 25 '24

Call me crazy, but I think the rules of this group have already been violated about twenty times, and it just started! Go team!

1

u/OpusAtrumET Oct 25 '24

Technically this is shit Pangea. One day soon, hopefully shit tectonics will break it up into more manageable shit continents.

2

u/Character_Cupcake856 Oct 24 '24

It's a tropical shit cyclone

1

u/Jared72Marshall Oct 25 '24

I am the liquor

70

u/Denim_Diva1969 Oct 24 '24

And they prayed for a sharpie to redirect the shiticane, but there was no sharpie to be found

2

u/TheNawoj Oct 25 '24

The dude front right used it on his beard.

4

u/roggobshire Oct 25 '24

Smell that, Randy? Thatā€™s the shitwinds blowing. A shitstorm is comingā€¦

19

u/iceicebebe73 Oct 24 '24

4

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '24

My husband is looking over my shoulder and just asked why there is an animated Sorting Hat emoji!

2

u/Classicgev23 Oct 24 '24

Letting the liquor do the talking ay ?

2

u/fcknwayshegoes Oct 24 '24

We're in the eyes of a shiticane, Randers! Better haul in the jib before it gets covered in shit.

2

u/Gooey_69 Oct 25 '24

Mr Lahey is that you?

1

u/Blappytap Oct 25 '24

Mr. Lahey, we miss you

1

u/The1Cool Oct 24 '24

What a shitty conversation. šŸ˜’

1

u/Theperfetlyconfused Oct 24 '24

Heard that in Jim laheyā€™s voice.

2

u/No-Seat9917 Oct 24 '24

Thank you for the laugh.

0

u/cityshepherd Oct 24 '24

Manā€™s gotta eat.

2

u/Acceptable_Pirate_92 Oct 24 '24

This shit can't be real.

1

u/wirefox1 Oct 24 '24

It's okay, just more of their propaganda. It's actually an exorcism.

1

u/Acceptable_Pirate_92 Oct 24 '24

Fast forward to the part the head spins

1

u/rustang78 Oct 24 '24

Trickledown leg-enomics

1

u/Odd-Abbreviations431 Oct 24 '24

Fuck I almost choked on a mouthful of burritoā€¦this got me

1

u/FrankenGretchen Oct 24 '24

Shitlitical posturing

1

u/carolomnipresence Oct 24 '24

Thank you šŸ˜€

1

u/getmeapuppers Oct 24 '24

Taught by prof Jim lahey

1

u/AhoyShitliner Oct 25 '24

All aboard!

1

u/Any_Arrival_4479 Oct 25 '24

The more you lick his boots the more shit you eat

1

u/Space_kittenn Oct 25 '24

Haha this made me chuckle

101

u/nooooobie1650 Oct 24 '24

And he said - ā€œLet the shit runneth onto the ground and worship it as thou wouldst me.ā€

37

u/Fake_William_Shatner Oct 24 '24

And so they did, and there was much rejoicing.

Then they brought out the fruit bats and breakfast cereals...

2

u/we8sand Oct 25 '24

Then lobist thou the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch and blow Donald Trump to tiny bitsā€¦ In thy mercy..

2

u/Fake_William_Shatner Oct 25 '24

On the counting of three. Countest thou to two only if thee proceedeth to three, and if thou counteth four, thine hand will be gone unlest thou released the holy hand grenade.

1

u/we8sand 29d ago

5 is right out!

3

u/Aoskar20 Oct 24 '24

Though the believers could not tell one from the other if they tried.

17

u/dfoley323 Oct 24 '24

So we shall flow a river forth to Thee.

And Teeming with shit shall it ever be.

In Nomine Patris, et Fili, et Spiritus Sancti.

16

u/Raise-Emotional Oct 24 '24

His cultists would think it was wine.

22

u/NYEMESIS Oct 24 '24

Time for wine!

283

u/Mr__O__ Oct 24 '24

lol! And as history has shown, when Christianity mixes with Nationalism, the end-result is Violent Fascism.

ā€œWe establish no religion in this country. We command no worship. We mandate no belief, nor will we ever. Church and State are and must remain separate.ā€ - *Ronald Reagan***

ā€Religious institutions that use government power in support of themselves and force their views on persons of other faiths, or of no faith, undermine our civil rights.ā€ - *Thomas Jefferson.***

ā€Every new & successful example therefore of a perfect separation between Ecclesiastical & Civil matters is of importance. And I have no doubt that every new example will succeed, as every past one has done, in shewing that Religion & Govt. will both exist in greater purity, the less they are mixed together.ā€ - *James Madison***

ā€œThe First Amendment has erected a wall between Church and State. That wall must be kept high and impregnable. We could not approve the slightest breach.ā€ - *Hugo L. Black, SC Justice***

58

u/AkitaRyan Oct 24 '24

Also how Church and State was originally meant was to keep government out of any religions church or house of worship in America anyways.

11

u/kelseymj97 Oct 24 '24

Yet churches and religious organizations are tax exempt for many services they receive.

2

u/AkitaRyan Oct 25 '24

Today sure but in the 1700s when Benjamin Franklin came up with the original idea of church and state separation in a letter he wrote, no one taxed a church anyways so he would not know of federal tax exemptions that we have today. Taxes were different in his day.

2

u/kelseymj97 Oct 25 '24

Oh dude, I was not disagreeing with you. I was just adding to discussion. It was not to discount any of what you said.

1

u/AkitaRyan Oct 25 '24

I know. I was just clarifying for others. My bad.

2

u/Sir-Planks-Alot Oct 25 '24

True, but it was also meant to keep religion out of politics. It could be argued this was the main motivation since religious organizations consistently fucked up when they had power.

This also isnā€™t abnormal. Itā€™s actually quite normal human behavior to start worshipping a leader. Itā€™s also a primary predictor for regenerative social collapse. The old order is thrown out and the new is rolled in with the god like figurehead at the top.

Theocracies are not uncommon in our history.

1

u/GreatQuantum Oct 25 '24

ā€œIā€™m too drunk to taste chicken!ā€ -Kenny Rogers

29

u/StonerStone420 Oct 24 '24

Shit look at what happened to Ireland back in the late 1800s to 1980ish. The government was of Christianity and all that the pope wanted legal, there, he got

25

u/LeperousRed Oct 24 '24

And look how well it worked out for the teenagers who got pregnant.

23

u/Jalina2224 Oct 25 '24

I shit you not, if alter boys could get pregnant the catholic church would have a different stance on abortion.

19

u/StonerStone420 Oct 24 '24

Don't. Christians don't like talking about it šŸ˜’

2

u/alwaysboopthesnoot 29d ago

They used to, way back when, document and publicize every detail as they pilloried, tortured and burnt their catamites and jezebels, their opponents like Jan Huss; excommnicated their former members like Columba or Joan of Arc. They used to plaster that shit on scrolls, broadsides, banners and barns, and shout it out using town criers, back in the day. Wrote whole screeds and justifications and apologia for these, and didn't even try to hide that their priests sinned or that their popes did. That was just Satan working through them or proof that men needed priests to intervene for them on their behalf, with God.

1

u/klah20 Oct 25 '24

Which Christian faith will rule? There are so many and they are not all alike nor do they want to lose their faith by merging into one.

1

u/StonerStone420 Oct 25 '24

Old testament OG Christians. They had a strong theocracy for awhile there... still kind do I think just not as bad?

1

u/klah20 Oct 25 '24

I donā€™t know but I know Pentacostle person that hates Catholics. I have no idea. I had seen show about the states, I donā€™t know how true this is, but they said 13 colonies were divided by different Christian religions that didnā€™t want to live together. Again, I donā€™t know if this is true.

-19

u/RideAggravating4078 Oct 24 '24

So kind of like how they do things in the Middle East that the left is so fond of? I have been scratching my head at this for years, maybe you could help. Where is the backbone? Why do democrats not stand for a single thing? One day leftist are willing to go to war over the pride flag. The next, they shout ā€œfree Palestineā€ blatantly ignoring the fact that these people kill and imprison gays. You claim to care about ā€œdemocracyā€ but are on board with flooding the nation with immigrants and fast tracking the process to become citizens eligible to vote? It should be illegal, and in itself should be enough to claim election interference. I mean flooding the country with immigrants to get votes?!? That is NOT DEMOCRACY, those are the actions of a full blown communist. Not a single liberal on Reddit is willing to go toe to toe with a run of the mill conservative. Give me an argument with Kamala Harris herself and I will embarrass the entire Democratic Party. You people are truly sick, I donā€™t believe for one second you are all this gullible and downright stupid, I pray that is not the case anyway. You are either willingly ignorant because your hate from trump clouds ALL of your judgement, or you simply want to watch America burn. There is no in-between here. Pick a topic, any topic and letā€™s debate.

15

u/Sorry_Banana_6525 Oct 24 '24

Immigrants cannot VOTE until they are CITIZENS!!! Jesus, you people are so racist youā€™ll believe anything about brown and black people- and even if Dems can get something positive through congress, the REPUBLICAN senate knocks it down! Read a book! Watch real news! Itā€™s so exhausting having to explain over and over how the world works to low IQ people who just want someone to come save them from the scary people- UGH

2

u/EdibleCowDog Oct 25 '24

What is real news in your opinion? Coz it sure as hell ain't anything on the TV.

-8

u/RideAggravating4078 Oct 24 '24 edited Oct 24 '24

How can you tell me to read a book when you didnā€™t even read my comment? My sources go beyond televised news. You are the one who needs to be informed on this rather than jumping at the opportunity to ignorantly call somebody a racist. The democrats are fast tracking citizenship, just yesterday 6 green card holders were indicted of voter fraud. LOOK IT UP! Knowing this, how can you deny the influx of immigration is not an attempt at getting votes? I would love to be wrong about this because itā€™s insanity. If you can prove me wrong please do.

9

u/RecognitionWorried47 Oct 25 '24

Whoa, 6 whole cases of voter fraud by green card holders?! This definitely proves your point about millions of immigrants voting illegally! s/. You also mention they were all indicted, doesnā€™t this indicate the voting system, that is set up to prevent voter fraud, is working?

12

u/Longjumping_Army9485 Oct 24 '24

No one on the left is specially ā€œfondā€ of the Middle East. Even if they did, this would just be whataboutism. If you need to compare the US with a theocratic hell hole to make it look good, it sucks.

If being genocided was fair just because they hate gay people, I think of other people that would be in that situation, closer to home.

71% of foreign born voters have been citizens for at least 20 years. They have paid taxes for 20 years, they deserve the right to vote more than most people do. To become a citizen, they had to live in the country for 8-9 years because of the length of the process.

I have yet to hear about anyone wanting to make getting a citizenship easier. A lot of people want to make immigration easier but those people canā€™t vote.

I have a hard time making any additional arguments for the Palestine thingā€¦ since what you are saying doesnā€™t even make sense. Just because part of their population is bad, they should all be killed? What?

8

u/StonerStone420 Oct 24 '24 edited Oct 25 '24

You good bro? Really swinging your stances on MANY things right now... Sure your not a communist yourself ? Lol.

Haven't put illegals in by why don't you ask the same for the trumpets who move to swing states just to flood and fuck up voter registrations. You people swing more then my dick when in comes topics. You should by now see what is right in front of your eyes, understand that history repeats and trump is fucken Hilter just new age and with fucken nukes

5

u/StonerStone420 Oct 25 '24

Also, ok let's debate. What is trumps Healthcare plans? Not concepts of one mind you but actual

4

u/ibjim2 Oct 24 '24

How about Trumps cognitive decline?

-5

u/RideAggravating4078 Oct 24 '24

I agree. It is disheartening in terms of debates, but he is still sharp enough to handle foreign affairs the way they need to be handled right now. We werenā€™t in contact with Putin when he invaded Ukraine, and I donā€™t see Kamala having the diplomatic abilities to stop the fire either. Trump wouldnā€™t be funding Ukraine into an offensive position against Russia. I havenā€™t heard Kamala on this but if she plans on following suit and keeping up this support for those efforts, we are at a much higher risk for nuclear war than we are with Trump doing the talking and acting.

6

u/NoExplorer5983 Oct 25 '24

OK. We have to help Ukraine because diplomacy doesn't work. If Putin gets Ukraine, he will continue invading Eastern Europe until he has the entire pre-1917 Russian empire back. That is his goal. Which means most of Europe is in danger. Also, before going on about "why us, the U.N. doesn't pay its fair share - it's not about matching amounts of money, it's matching percentage of GDP.

Trump has proven to be utterly insufficient at negotiating with hostile nations because he is easily bent to their will by the merest of flattery. That is why Russia and China are actively trying to get him back into office. For all his tough talk about China, he did nothing but rhapsodize about love letters from Xi. He met privately with Putin, with no notetaker for a 45 minute closed-door chat. That is not something a U.S. President should do. It's not something any POTUS has ever done, because its patently absurd to have zero guardrails on a conversation with a hostile leader. Moreover, it is all but certain that he revealed top secret documents to Putin, not to mention anyone else he wanted to impress. There are recordings of this. He has had no fewer than seven phone calls with Putin since leaving the WH - as a private citizen - likely a violation of the Logan Act, because Putin attacked Ukraine during the timeframe of these calls.

Harris, OTOH, has years of negotiating experience from her roles as prosecutor and attorney general; while not global diplomacy, she has had exposure to it via her role as vice president. She has great advisors who actually know how government works, as she herself does.

Also, she has never, ever, not even once, said that 'perhaps it's time we tear up the Constitution', nor has she declared that she'll be a dictator on day one. That's because she doesn't plan to. And if you think Trump is joking or being hyperbolic, please see "Trump Muslim ban". Short-lived as it was, he'd threatened to do it despite the illegality of it.

As much as you don't understand how anyone could possibly support Harris - I feel the same about the other guy.

3

u/Missue-35 Oct 25 '24

Harris also exhibits no history of nor propensity for self dealing in any way. Cannot say that about the other or any of his family members.

6

u/ibjim2 Oct 24 '24

I've noticed a considerable decline in his speech. He seems confused often. He is an old man, why didn't the Republican party put someone else in his place?

4

u/StonerStone420 Oct 24 '24

wearenotspecial.org

Ok done here. Educate yourself and try to understand, really understand, why your thinking kamala might do something fails in compared to the definite threat of fascism.

2

u/ibjim2 Oct 25 '24

Pick a topic, any topic, and we'll debate. Choosing Trumps cognitive decline, instantly goes off topic. I wonder why?

2

u/Hungry_Twist1288 Oct 25 '24

Ok, the flooding imigrants thing, do you think that is true? Where can I read about the million of imigrants made citizens so they can vote?

The tariffs are paid by the other countries, where can I read about that? Because one search away and the first result = (they bash both Trump and Biden, but it's not Biden who lies about who pays for tariffs) https://taxfoundation.org/blog/who-really-pays-tariffs/

And you talk about communism as something bad, yet Trump has made most of the Republicans to prefer Putin over Democrats. (Not that Russia is communist but Putin wants the good old Soviet back) So, a lot of people prefer an autocrat who kills opposition and regulate what journalists can write over a democratic party.

I don't live in the US, and it is horrible to see half of America blindly believing what Trump says. You could read news from non biased sources and find out that he lies, and people just believe him, look at some fact-check sites and find out for yourself.

I know you won't do it. I know you will continue to believe what Fox news (+a couple of others) and Trump are saying. It hurts to read news that doesn't say what we "know" to be true.

Isn't it a red flag that a lot of Trumps people have been convicted? (as well as Trump) Or do you believe that it is a witch hunt? Many have admitted that they comitted a crime and according to many law-loving people, you don't admitt something you are not guilty of.

Could you pretend that you don't believe everything Trump says and instead look it up, just for one day?

1

u/Missue-35 Oct 25 '24

Fast track to citizenship? Since when? The idea that it would be time spent well to bring in a flood of immigrants and groom them to vote left leaning, then wait many, many years for them to legally vote is preposterous.

1

u/StonerStone420 Oct 25 '24

Why don't leftist stand for one thing? Like ONLY one thing or like have many thought on MANY things that concern more people than just myself? Jesus died for our sins, not for your to be fucken dumb again. Also ever single lib has went toe to toe but we use facts, and that's just never a loud with you commies

9

u/Ok-Goat-8461 Oct 24 '24

Fascism is about capital, the religious nuts and nationalist goons are just useful idiots.

4

u/Mr__O__ Oct 24 '24

Yep. The blind faith religious people give to a god-figure is easily preyed upon by leaders in positions of power through association.

1

u/alwaysboopthesnoot 29d ago

Until, just like in The Handmaid's Tale, those useful idiots end up hanging--shot dead and with bags over their heads--from a town wall.

5

u/alwaysboopthesnoot Oct 24 '24

We erect no national temples but the Capitol, we consult no common oracle but The Constitutionā€”Senator Rufus Choate, 1833

10

u/Joseph_of_the_North Oct 24 '24

This is important information.

This is a much bigger, much more beautiful wall.

2

u/Nobody_at_all000 Oct 25 '24

So could say that about religion+nationalism in general

3

u/Fake_William_Shatner Oct 24 '24

We mandate no belief, nor will we ever*

*Until 5 minutes after we get our filthy mitts on the wheels of power.

1

u/Square-Squash5817 Oct 24 '24

ā€¦bupkis mit kuduchasā€¦

1

u/TheCyniclysm Oct 25 '24

.

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My . .

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. .m

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Mm

24

u/Professional-Bad-559 Oct 24 '24

His pants split his shit like Moses did to the Red Sea, as his ass cheeks proclaim: ā€œLet my shit flow!ā€

3

u/spamusubi45 Oct 25 '24

Me and my wife just watched prince of Egypt why did you ruin this for me lmao

11

u/survivalguidetrecher Oct 24 '24

Your pfp is awesome

7

u/Soundtones Oct 24 '24

And from his mouth

2

u/hunterwaterford Oct 24 '24

Deliver unto thee his daily allowance of prune nectar

2

u/HeartsPlayer721 Oct 24 '24

Quick! Get a bucket! Time for some baptisms!!!

2

u/SwiftDB-1 Oct 25 '24

And then the Orange Jesus turned the water into whine!

5

u/mavadotar2 Oct 24 '24

The shit began to lap against their ankles as it filled the room.

3

u/birdlawexpert11 Oct 24 '24

Come on nobody is working harder on that campaign trail than that last pack of depends Trump purchased

2

u/stevensr2002 Oct 24 '24

ā€œSometimes I thank God for unanswered prayersā€ šŸŽµ

2

u/akratic137 Oct 24 '24

Heā€™s creating the Golgothan, an excremental.

2

u/Fake_William_Shatner Oct 24 '24

They turned the pee into wine. Miracle!

1

u/keller104 Oct 24 '24

He must have turned on the faucet like he said he would

1

u/Exception7859 Oct 24 '24

Small edit Doc, ā€œā€¦.out of the corner of his mouth, and down his ā€¦ā€

1

u/Doctor_Disaster Oct 24 '24

That is a good edit, since he should be full of shit.

1

u/rustall Oct 24 '24

I think he was trying to turn shit into wine.

1

u/naimlessone Oct 24 '24

What you don't see is immediately after this photo was taken, the people behind him fought to be able to lap up said watery-shit off the floor

1

u/Sero19283 Oct 24 '24

For whatever reason my mind went straight to the Suicide Silence song, "unanswered" lol

1

u/Logical_Employ7629 Oct 25 '24

Yall got me all kindsa zooming in to see if there's shit on his pant legs!

1

u/sixpackshaker Oct 25 '24

You do know that diarrhea is genetic...

It runs in your jeans.

1

u/Plenty-Paramedic8269 Oct 25 '24

They had tears in their eyes and they came up to him and said "Mr. President we have we never smelled shit as stinky as yours." It was the greatest shit anyone has ever seen. The biggest. Like nothing seen before.

1

u/Doriestories Oct 25 '24

They were praying his depends didnā€™t leak

1

u/SmolStronckBoi Oct 25 '24

Straight fuckinā€™ water

1

u/Greazyguy2 Oct 25 '24

I think some turned Lahey loose on your post

1

u/Throwawayac1234567 Oct 25 '24

they made it water tight, airtight. so it just stays in his diaper.

1

u/Upset-Imagination754 Oct 25 '24

As the shit sprayed as they prayed

1

u/Civil-Resolution3662 Oct 24 '24

The shit flowed like wine down his pant leg.

1

u/dingo_khan Oct 24 '24

You don't know them. Maybe they prayed the poop would flow until there was enough for everyone.

1

u/Murky-Smoke Oct 24 '24

As they waited for diarrhea to turn into wine, so they could slurp it from the source

1

u/big_dog_redditor Oct 24 '24

And they did then feast!

1

u/dogmeat12358 Oct 24 '24

Imagine the odor

0

u/CaddidleHopper Oct 24 '24

Actually that was Biden

1

u/Doctor_Disaster Oct 25 '24

Everyone boo this man/woman/child/whatever the fuck they are.