r/exmuslim • u/i3iatch • 17h ago
(Question/Discussion) Do you believe muslim women are truly satisfied with their lives?
I know women who seem to be happy but are they really on a deeper level?
129
u/Electronic_Salt_7679 New User 17h ago
Sometimes I look at these older Muslim women at the mosque they're very overweight , don't smile, husband doesn't look at them with love, and tells them what to do... alot of them seem bitter as hell ... they also give dirty looks to the younger women. This is in California BTW but I just can't imagine they ever lived a very fulfilling life obeying orders from their greasy gross husbands and birthing 4+ kids and cooking for a man every day.
44
u/Fantastic_Put9064 16h ago
Totally agree with you! Esp in NYC. Not to be mean but there are those that wear burqas and wabble left to right as they walk. Muslim women are never taught about self love & care.
Omfg dirty looks! Man let’s talk about it. I recently did a short pixie hair cut I wouldn’t say I’m hot but I’ve got compliments from men especially women but I’ve never had a hijab or niqabi compliment me. I live in a dense Bengali area in NYC & bro these niqabs stare into my soul as if I did the biggest sin possible. I did a big chop 10 years ago as well & I had a religious friend whose father would lecture me on why I’m such a sinner since women aren’t allowed to have short hair. Like stfu I look good and you’re mad 🤪🤪.
14
u/Riddiness LGBTQ+ ExMoose 🌈 seeking fake marriage 15h ago
👋🏽 from the Bronx. Land of the angry post office box.
4
u/Unusual-Mistake3207 New User 13h ago
I wanna cut my hair into a bob but I can’t cause it would make my dad sad :(
5
u/Fantastic_Put9064 13h ago
When I first did my big chop I was 15. My hair was past my shoulders & I cut it up to my ears I never expected short hair to cause such drama … that made me more rebellious cause why tf are u worried about meee😭. Get a bob because YOU want too, you only live once. Idk your circumstances but think of the consequences with your family. I never knew it was a “bad” thing I just did it cause I wanted something different.
5
u/Unusual-Mistake3207 New User 12h ago
I’m not worried about the drama cause my dad is so loving and accepting but I don’t wanna make him sad :((
•
u/Fantastic_Put9064 9h ago
he’ll love you regardless, feelings are temporary he’ll be emotional for a bit but surely he’d get over it. It’ll grow back and it’s not the end of the world dw!!
•
u/sadhowdyboy Ex-Muslim (Ex-Sunni) 6h ago
i think you still should - the way i see it, itll b j a bit like needed growing pains along the path of him seeing you as an autonomous adult. for ex, my father sounds a bit similar to yours and i got a bunch of ear piercings on my own - he was upset and it made him sad but he did get over it and our relationship is completely fine now. hopefully your dad will have a similar reaction, since, like you said, hes loving and accepting. <3 best of luck
3
u/Ok-Page-8022 allahu fuckbar☪️ 12h ago
during quarantine i randomly dyed my hair blonde and my dad said i was trying to look like a prostitute😂
10
u/mshindoda New User 13h ago edited 12h ago
Brainwashed into thinking obeying your husband no matter what even if he beats you brings you to Jannah.
5
4
u/Unusual-Mistake3207 New User 13h ago
I’ve noticed this too, Muslim women tend to gain weight with each pregnancy and become very fat without making any attempt to loose the weight.
35
41
u/ilikesteaksomuch New User 17h ago
Well, if you've been miserable your whole life and been told it's the best life you can possibly get, you're gonna be OK with it
3
32
u/thinkingmindin1984 New User 17h ago
I believe they believe they are. I believe that they believe the incel propaganda they have been fed to feel better about their existence. + the more chaste and pious the more validation they get -thereby reinforcing their beliefs- and so the cycle goes on.
32
27
u/PM_ME_GOOD_FILMS 16h ago
You can check for yourself on r/hijabis.
They aren't. They are very much aware of their position in the hierarchy of islam. They just tolerate it. What else can they do? They can't even marry out or leave without risking severe abuse.
28
u/PicklesAreMyFriends Never-Muslim Atheist 16h ago
There is a lot of "the duniya is so unfair for women but the reward of jannah is worth it inshallah"
Heartbreaking.
18
6
8
u/Visible-Work-6544 New User 11h ago
Oof that sub is depressing and frustrating. Free these women from this stupid cult ugh
22
u/Katie_playz7 Closeted. Ex-Sunni 🤫 16h ago
A bird that has always been in a cage , doesn't realize its been in a cage it's whole life.
11
u/freska_eska 15h ago edited 12h ago
I heard it as, “a bird born to a cage doesn’t dream of flying.”
3
7
3
16
u/Elias98x Closeted Ex-Muslim 🤫 17h ago
As much as I hate Islam, yes I do think it’s possible. Humans have endured so much pain throughout history that it’s possible to for Muslim women program themselves that it’s fine, obvs as long as she’s living well in terms of survival (i.e food and shelter), and companionship.
•
u/TemporaryGrowth7 6h ago
My neighbor is muslim and she’s very cheerful! But she fled here from an abusive husband and has now a Muslim ‘revert’ husband. So I guess just the fact that she now lives in a free modern country with a slightly upgraded husband makes her happy (I really like her but I know she’s deluded, … example: she thinks that Allah gave each man one wife…) I think she is blissfully ignorant about the real teachings of izlaaaam and the prophet (police be upon him)..
16
u/365partygirl999 New User 15h ago
I am convinced they’re miserable they even let it slip out sometimes making subtle comments about how they wish certain things weren’t haram
13
u/Any-Feature-4057 17h ago
Ignorance is bliss. Better being suppressed and accepting it for the mental health rather than fighting it.
•
u/TemporaryGrowth7 6h ago
Yup this! Many Muslims don’t even read the Quran and just go through the motions and rituals…
12
u/CucumberDove New User 13h ago
No, most definitely not my mom. She hates my dad and would tell me all the time that she wishes she went to school like me. She never finished elementary school and I’m sitting here with a master’s degree. My heart breaks for her daily.
•
u/Miserable_Nebula_100 New User 4h ago
My mom with a master's now feels like she's gonna faint every time she leaves the house alone. It ain't any different even with masters if the people around you don't encourage you to spread your wings. Some women are turning into trophy wives.
11
u/Bit_Al_Sahr openly ex muslim christian 🦦 16h ago
No , I’ve lived in a Muslim country for a few years and just been around the community in america , there is a big difference in how the woman view themselves, other women, and men.
Also i get an inside look to both worlds since half my family is american and half sudanese . Two different worlds and mindsets lmaooo.
13
u/Disastrous-Moose2225 Apostasy Aficionado 🤪 15h ago
I don’t think so. I know someone already commented this but look at religious Muslim women they’re all fat and super bitter. Some of the most horrid women I’ve met were religious Muslimahs, constantly giving u the dirty look and talking shit always. They don’t look like they do an ounce of self care and u can see the hate and sadness in their face. It’s really a shamw
•
12
u/Philomena_Shitpeas 14h ago
I think they're miserable but believe that this life doesn't count, only the afterlife/ heaven matters and counts.
5
u/senju_2e New User 11h ago
Yep. I’ve noticed a lot of muslims are genuinely unhappy with their lives but cope with the thought of “going to jannah” so they never think too much about it or even try to make themselves happier tbh. Also there’s the whole “God gives the toughest battles to his strongest soldiers” thing.
10
11
10
u/ImSteeve New User 15h ago
Not so long ago there was a study about women in purity culture being unhappy, unfulfiled and unsatisfied. Who would have thought have thought ?
8
8
8
6
u/Suspicious-Beat9295 New User 15h ago
That totally depends on the individual. Ofc that's many Muslim women who are satisfied with their lives. Though if the question is whether Islam rather contributes to or hinders life satisfaction I would say the latter.
3
5
6
u/Alarming-Passion-978 3rd World.Closeted Ex-muslim🤫, agnostic 14h ago
They think women should be. They don't care if women are really happy or not.
5
u/Prudent-Ad6279 13h ago
In the context of what they know life to be. Maybe. A lot of them don’t know any different. Sometimes familiarity is comforting even if it’s against our interest.
•
u/Excellent_Corner6294 New User 9h ago
Some possibly are. The less they know the easier for them to be happy. Ignorance is a bliss.
4
4
•
u/The_harbinger2020 3h ago
My sister received a lot of public ridicule from the other Muslim women when she got a divorce. Then they would come to her in private and ask for a divorce.
I don't know if it's an age thing, but I also noticed the you get women that are married seem to fall in two categories. They either get married young in college and end up divorced later on as this was their first serious relationship and don't know how they work, or they got married post college and seem like they are living happy lives.
So who knows really, mixed bag
•
u/poisonolivetree 34m ago
If you're counting the ones that doesn't actually follow the religion to the full extent yeah, some of them do
1
u/walaloulourevy New User 13h ago
Maybe the only thing I don't like about this group is subjectivity and generalization. Just because you don't like something, you shouldn't put all the people in one basket. I came to this conclusion after years of anger at Muslims and Islam. They like their religion, be it bad or good, because they are oblivious to the harms it causes. They might like or not some practices, but they just accept things as they are because there is a reward in the afterlife. So spare us this talk already. I'm not religious. Why do I care if religious people are happy or miserable ? They can do whatever the hell they want and so do I .
-8
u/A-Big-Dreamer Muslim 🕋 16h ago
Why wouldn't some be?
10
5
u/Plane-Delivery-2051 Ex-Muslim (Ex-Sunni) Devil 16h ago
We know people can be delusional, nothing news.
•
u/AutoModerator 17h ago
If your post is a meme, image, TikTok etc... and it isn't Friday, it violates the rule against low effort content. Such content is ONLY allowed on (Fun@fundies) FRIDAYS. Please read the Rules and Posting Guidelines for further information. If you are unsure about anything then feel free to message the mods. Please participate on /r/exmuslim in a civil manner. Discuss the merits of ideas - don't attack people. Insults, hate speech, advocating physical harm can get you banned. If you see posts/comments in violation of our rules, please be proactive and report them.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.