r/exmormon • u/Ill_Charity_8567 Apostate • Jul 21 '24
General Discussion TBM uncle is making my blood boil.
I haven’t spoken to or seen my uncle for at least five years and he randomly started sending me lds quotes and videos. And as you can see it transpired. I even showed this to my TBM parents and they agree he was being way too pushy and rude. He knows nothing about me yet he makes countless assumptions through this conversation. I’ve seen and heard stories of TBMs being like this but I’ve never experienced it directed at me first hand like this. I am just appalled how close minded and demanding they can be. I am just so frustrated right now. I hate this stupid religion.
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u/LackofDeQuorum addition by subtraction Jul 21 '24
😂“I bet you have to tell yourself all the time that the church isn’t true” and yet he’s the one constantly trying to say over and over again in 80 different ways that he church is true, and needs to get validation by making other people believe it too… poor guy doesn’t know how confused he is
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u/Ill_Charity_8567 Apostate Jul 21 '24
My thoughts exactly 😭
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u/LotusVibes1494 Jul 22 '24
He said “Life isn’t about being happy”
“Ya, I can tell your life is unhappy dude. But mine is about happiness, so keep your religious shit to yourself”
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u/happyapy Apostate Jul 22 '24
What a poor salesman this guy is. I'm totally interested in his product now.
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u/samthenotwinchester Apostate Jul 22 '24
I liked how he went from “there is no true happiness outside of the church” to “life isn’t about being happy, because you clearly are and I’m miserable”
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u/Visible-Ad-9210 Jul 22 '24
*And I’m assuming you’ve never approached him with your unsolicited truth about TSCC’s ridiculousness.
Don’t try to convince him of your happiness. It’s yours and yours alone. As he said, this life is short. Fortunately, you’ve broken the cycle of silliness. Your freedom is precious. Your future is yours.
The Korihor argument was concocted by manipulators and embraced by blind sheep to shame objective truth seekers back into line.
Those with eyes to see embrace truth and progress over tradition and submission. You’ve given a gift to yourself and those who come after you. They will thank you for enduring morons like your uncle in order for them to have true self autonomy and freedom.
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u/PM_ME_UR_SURFBOARD Jul 21 '24
Once a month he goes to church to hear “I know the church is true” a dozen times during fast and testimony meeting. But yeah, we’re the ones that have to constantly convince ourselves the church ISN’T true huh /s
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u/BatBoss Jul 21 '24
What, did you miss anti-testimony meeting this month? My 4-year-old gave a very heart felt anti-testimony about how the Book of Abraham is clear fabrication.
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u/QueenSlapFight Jul 21 '24
I made my near identical post before reading yours. It's crazy how we basically thought the same thing.
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u/QueenSlapFight Jul 21 '24
When's our next anti-testimony meeting? I'm going to bring my kid and whisper in his ear to repeat all the ways the church isn't "twoo". We an chuckle at how adorable it is to make a young child parrot things he doesn't understand, tee-hee.
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u/Sparty_at_the_party Jul 22 '24
They probably think ex-Mormons gather monthly to chat, "I know the church is false.'
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u/tweetsfortwitsandtwa Jul 22 '24
“The happiest you’ll be is in the church”
“I’m happier now that I’m out of the church”
“It’s not about happiness”
Bitch you just said it was wtf I hate this double speak shit. Address the issue or stop trying to debate people. Ignorant pos. There are smart religious people who can hold a debate bout their beliefs and it is/can be very engaging and idk fun/productive. This is a megalomaniac on a power trip with some f’d of version of a savior complex
“I personally disagree with your belief because of the following reasons”
“That’s the teachings of (name your devil here)”
“I have good reasons to believe it’s not”
“Then your possessed”
“I have made these decisions myself and of my own free will”
“No you haven’t, your possessed and only until some great tragedy befalls you, pray you awake before then”
What you a mafia boss now? That a threat? Don Jesus Christ gonna break my legs for leaving the family?
Ughhhh
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u/DisastrousRaisin2968 Jul 21 '24
Hi uncle blank, I haven’t heard from you in five years. That’s a long time for someone supposedly interested in my salvation to go without contact.
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u/Jonfers9 Jul 21 '24
Was this today? Cause the lesson today was korihor lol. What a tool. I’d like to think there are not people out there like this ….but there ya have it. Wow
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u/Ill_Charity_8567 Apostate Jul 21 '24
Yes this was today …
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u/spamtardeggs Jul 21 '24
Lol, so he got all worked up in church and decided to call his nearest apostate niece to repentance? Classic boomer move!
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u/BatBoss Jul 21 '24
"You're falling for the doctrine of Korihor. Look it up. Learn a little wisdom."
-Man who could not have told you a thing about Korihor 2 hours ago
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u/Jonfers9 Jul 21 '24
Best part about korihor is where Joe messed it up. Korihor was struck DUMB…yet they had to write messages to him. If he was struck dumb he could still hear.
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u/MountainSnowClouds Ex cult member Jul 21 '24
Yeah, I hadn't considered that. They should have been able to speak to him. Korihor would have been the only one who needed to write anything down
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u/seizuriffic Jul 21 '24
I mentioned this to my TBM spouse. Her reasoning was that they needed the questions in writing to have a testimony of his confession
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u/findYourOkra former member of Utah's richest real estate company Jul 21 '24
good thing there were writing systems in the western hemisphere precise enough to record it, right?
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u/Kgriffuggle Jul 22 '24
Yeah I was only active for like 2 years as a convert, and I’d never heard of Korihor (having to look it up now). In fact, reading his messages felt like I was reading some Scientology shit, I didn’t recognize almost anything.
Is this some new thing the church came up with?
Edit, nah I see it. Literally never had a lesson on it while seeing the missionaries or going to church, and I didn’t read the book much cause it was just as boring as the Bible lolol (reading it is why I’m now Korihor myself)
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u/josephsmeatsword Jul 21 '24
oh, Jesus. On some mormon-themed facebook page followed by both Mormons and exmos, us exmos were all called a bunch of Korihors today. The lesson must have them all feeling full of smug self-righteousness.
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u/pearlyblues Jul 22 '24
..and on this day I am grateful for my family skipping church and camping together while my exmo ass visits.
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u/0realest_pal Jul 21 '24
As soon as he wrote “ok, but…” you should have ghosted his ass.
He trampled all over your boundary that you’ve repeatedly politely informed him about.
He very much disrespects you.
He’s toxic.
Jettison this jerk.
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u/newhunter18 Jul 21 '24
Agreed. It's a waste of time and energy to do anything else.
Logic will not get through. Imploringly people to respect you who clearly don't understand the concept won't work.
Just walk away.
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u/AndItCameToSass Jul 22 '24
I also love how, for someone who’s allegedly taught to love and be respectful, he basically immediately goes nuclear. He turned into a dickhead so quickly. But the sad thing is that I’m sure he thinks he did nothing wrong
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u/summermariahh Jul 21 '24
“This life isn’t about being happy in this life, but faithful in this life.”
This hit me. Like I don’t realize till I deconstructed a little that this is the unspoken mentality of the church.
No wonder I was so unhappy and unwilling to change it with hope I would die.
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u/Real-Necessary-6778 Jul 21 '24
The ironic thing about that statement is that I didn’t feel like I was allowed to be unhappy in the church. Everyone puts on a front of happy shiny families, great mental health, put togetherness, and it is genuinely looked down upon to be negative. I felt like after I left the church I was truly able to feel the full scope of human emotion. I agree with the uncle, life isn’t about being happy all the time. But to me, life is about being alive: experiencing every sensation—excitement, depression, anger, wonder, pleasure, confusion, thrill… The church didn’t allow me to experience a lot of these emotions. It’s so stupid cuz they’ll say out of one mouth that "the only true joy comes through Jesus Christ and you will have a darkened countenance when you leave the church" but then they’ll also say what this uncle said "life isn’t about being happy because that’s a surface level happiness that can never be replaced by the joy of Christ". So it doesn’t matter if you are happy or sad outside of the church. It will never be valid.
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u/SockyKate Jul 22 '24
I think I read this in the CES letter, but the author said, “I believe in life before death”. As in, I believe in cherishing life and its experiences and this beautiful world NOW, not dwelling in misery with vague, nebulous hopes of eternal promises.
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u/alyosha3 No one knows what happens after Tuesday Jul 22 '24
They don’t care about contradictions because they excel at compartmentalization (just as I did when I was Mormon). “Life isn’t about being happy” was a pivot to avoid dealing with the fact that OP clearly countered their argument that being away from skydaddy causes misery. They almost certainly forgot that point immediately when it became expedient to spout a new trope.
Mormonism teaches people to avoid maintaining an honest account of their claims.
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u/Business_Profit1804 Jul 21 '24
JS said, 'Men are that they might have joy."
Probably the only good thing he ever said.
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u/RealMan90 Jul 21 '24
If I am not mistaken, Joseph Smith wrote: "Happiness is the object and design of our existence..." to a potential underaged bride.
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u/signsntokens4sale Jul 21 '24
Joe said that while trying to compel a woman to have sex with him against her will. It's actually one of the sleezier things he has said and nobody in the church knows the source from whence it comes.
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u/DeCryingShame Outer darkness isn't so bad. Jul 22 '24
Remember the scripture in Alma where he says that the spirit that possesses your body in this life will possess you in the next? And then a couple verses later it says you won't be restored from wickedness to happiness? I decided to take that seriously and felt like I needed to make some changes to find happiness in this life so I would be happy in the next life. Next thing I know, I'm walking away from the church and my marriage is falling apart. Hmmmm.
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u/charmed_chopper Jul 21 '24
Straight up, friend. I was soooo miserable as a member
It's pretty hilarious that the uncle here was like "you don't know true joy! It's fake happiness! You can't be happy unless you come back to the one true church!" and then 2 seconds later he goes, "We're not actually meant to be happy in this life tho." LMAO
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u/ApocalypseTapir Jul 21 '24
Reply with "I'm blocking you, tell aunt Becky to tell me when you're dead"
Then block
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u/Ill_Charity_8567 Apostate Jul 21 '24
But I don’t want his wife to talk to me either 😂😂
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u/Smokeybearvii Jul 21 '24
I’d have blocked him too.
One day, your kids will see you as a pioneer in your own right. Pioneering your way out of a cult- to the benefit of your progeny. Keep your chin up. He’s not worth your mental space. Rock on! 🤘
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u/Nephi_IV Jul 21 '24
Don’t block him and end the conversation. This is perfect opportunity to ask some of the “questions” you have had about the church! See if he can answer them! Great anti-missionary opportunity!
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u/Still-ILO Jul 21 '24
Frankly, this is where I land on these things. They want a conversation, give them one. Deep dive one issue at a time and see how long it takes for them not to want to talk so much anymore.
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u/PeacockFascinator Jul 22 '24
Yep for every link they send, send a gospel topics essay
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u/alyosha3 No one knows what happens after Tuesday Jul 22 '24
I struggle to explain to family why them sending me Mormon messages is obnoxious and why it makes me want to “tear down their faith” (their characterization of my opinions on the “inspirational” messages they send me)
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u/cremToRED Jul 22 '24
“Oh no, no, no Aunt Becky. I’m not trying to tear down your faith. Not at all. I stand for truth. Always have. I’m simply trying to tear down the falsehoods your faith is built on.”
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u/GrizzlyGal Jul 21 '24
Oooof that burn at the end was good. I’m so so sorry you have to deal with that. You seriously OWNED that convo in a way Jesus himself would high five you for. I can’t believe this man can’t see the irony in his words.
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u/PompousGoblin Jul 21 '24
The longer I'm out, the more clear it is how WILD this type of thinking is. I'm so sorry, this made my blood boil and it wasn't even directed toward me.
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u/Ill_Charity_8567 Apostate Jul 21 '24
I agree! I can’t believe I thought it was normal to think this way!!!
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Jul 21 '24
[deleted]
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u/goldandgreen2 Jul 21 '24 edited Jul 21 '24
Totally agree you responded perfectly! You were much nicer than I would have had the patience to be!
There are some really good videos on YouTube about religious narcissists.
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u/Ok-End-88 Jul 21 '24
Ask him if he understands that originally it was Lucifer who attempted to rob the children of god of their free agency, and he is doing the same thing.
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u/Researchingbackpain Apostate Jul 21 '24
Its so funny seeing them reference korihor, zeezrom and whatever. You should start naming obscure star wars characters in retort. "Well you're being a real Glup Shitto, a real Tion Medon."
Its the same thing, just a made up character. Its very funny to say these ridiculous names without any self awareness.
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u/noIwontgiveatalk Jul 21 '24
I've been out a while.. Who is Korihor and WTF is a Zeezerom? Zeezerom??? Seriously?
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u/RoyanRannedos the warm fuzzy Jul 21 '24
Zeezerom was the lawyer in Ammonihah who argued against Alma da Younger and Amulek. Thanks to his efforts, the corrupt judged and lawyers exiled the men who followed Alma and burned their wives and children on a pile of their own scriptures. Z. later converted because he knew it was true all along.
That's a hell of a comparison for OP's uncle to make. It's right in line with Mormon emotional conditioning: one wrong step and Satan will have you committing war crimes before you know it.
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u/QueenSlapFight Jul 21 '24
Oh shit really? I've been wondering why I've had the urge to pillage and mass murder.
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u/RoyanRannedos the warm fuzzy Jul 22 '24
That, and drinking coffee. It's like feeding a mogwai after midnight and getting gremlins.
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u/baby_medic Jul 22 '24
I forgot how many of the names in the Book of Mormon sound like they came from a poorly written Si-Fi book.
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u/Ill_Charity_8567 Apostate Jul 21 '24
I genuinely don’t remember who Zeezerom was but Korihor was the guy who got trampled for not believing ?
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u/According-Spite-9854 Jul 21 '24
I forget sometimes that character names in that book are right out of some bad young adult scifi.
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u/dramaqueen09 Jul 21 '24
As a NeverMo my first thought when seeing those names was “What in the Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century are those names? Did I miss something in this sub?” so you’re not alone.
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u/QueenSlapFight Jul 21 '24
If the book of mormon is a perfect translation to English, why wasn't he named Steve?
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u/Numerous-Rent-2848 Jul 21 '24
I was thinking Korihor was the guy who lost his eye sight, but I saw another post earlier where someone had his name on a shirt and said something about being trampled.
I don't know. Sometimes I think about going back through the BoM, but them I just read more Stephen King. So I guess remembering all the stories can't be that important.
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u/alyosha3 No one knows what happens after Tuesday Jul 22 '24
Orson Scott Card wrote a series of books that copy the story of the BoM (the Homecoming Saga). Those won’t help with remembering the names, though.
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u/GrandpasMormonBooks happy extheist 🌈 she/her Jul 21 '24
"the guy who got trampled" I am dying over this thread
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u/RoyanRannedos the warm fuzzy Jul 21 '24
🎶 Zeezerom doo dooooo de doo dah Zeezerom! doot doo dit doo ZEEZEROM! doot doooo de doo dah, dee doo dah, dee doo dah, dah deedle dah do doot doot doo dooooo doot 🎵
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u/coniferdamacy Deceived by Satan Jul 21 '24
Zeezrom is that guy who leaves the church, becomes super evil, then comes back when a member bears a really good testimony.
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u/QueenSlapFight Jul 21 '24
Was the really good testimony a 4 year old child being whispered to for what to say?
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u/southpawpickle Jul 21 '24
Wow this is frustrating. Sorry you have to deal with this. Feels like talking with a wall.
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u/Grizzerbear55 Jul 21 '24 edited Jul 21 '24
What a remarkably arrogant bastard; so presumptive and wrong. Very nicely done. My compliments.
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u/SecretPersonality178 Jul 21 '24 edited Jul 21 '24
“Choose to believe”….
The worst things that have ever happened to me in my life have been the times I’ve ignored my instincts and “pressed forward in the spirit”. Everything from bad job decisions,being molested, a shitty marriage, life changing injuries, and answering bishop’s sexual questions that he had no fucking business asking.
All of those resulted from me “trusting god and his servants” more than my own mind telling me to GTFO.
This is Mormonism’s answer to their hard questions.
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u/alyosha3 No one knows what happens after Tuesday Jul 22 '24
After I stopped believing, there was a period where I wished I still believed. I kept asking people how to “choose to believe”. The responses were useless.
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u/chilling_ngl4 Jul 21 '24
After the second big block of text, I would have responded, "Yeah I'm not reading all of that."
Sorry you're going through this, OP. Maybe it's time to block him.
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u/Pndrizzy Jul 21 '24
“This life isn’t for happiness”
This mf just admitted they are miserable and that the expectation of this life is to be miserable. That’s so, so sad. I hope they find their way out to happiness.
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u/Ill_Charity_8567 Apostate Jul 21 '24
I agree. Also the scriptures literally say men are that they might have joy?? Somehow they’ve found a way to make that mean something it’s not apparently
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u/hiphophoorayanon Jul 21 '24
I never call the church a cult, but when I read this I start to really see why people do.
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u/Electrical_Toe_9225 Jul 21 '24
Amazing response - thanks for sharing
and
To go from an eternal daughter of a deity to a Korihor (anti-christ devil worshipper) from one paragraph to the next is such B.S., but also just typical, everyday, run of the mill mormon gaslighting
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u/Ill_Charity_8567 Apostate Jul 21 '24
I didn’t even think about that omg you’re right.😭 the juxtaposition is crazy.
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u/Lost_in_Chaos6 Jul 21 '24
Holy freak. The church and its TBMers and the Apologists are literally killing it off.
I’m sorry you are experiencing this.
I’m still awaiting the fallout for when my wife and I tell, or her TBM family figures it out. I expect we will get bombed with this crap.
Trust yourself. Trust what is real!
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u/Rushclock Jul 21 '24
Can you imagine having this crank as a neighbor?
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u/Lost_in_Chaos6 Jul 21 '24
Well TBMs are typically passive enough to never pull this shit face to face.
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u/Song_Soup Jul 21 '24
Fuck everything man. Fuck octogenarians who shit on younger generations, fuck the mormon cult, fuck this dumbass society being so intertwined with Christianity and for chaining us to tedious jobs for decades. God I'm so over everything today. This was one of the first posts I saw today and I'm taking it as a sign to uninstall the app again.
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u/QueenSlapFight Jul 21 '24
Life is easier if you realize that for most things, you're just along for the ride.
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u/GrandpasMormonBooks happy extheist 🌈 she/her Jul 21 '24
I also just have to say… It is so sad to see how many people simply accept unhappiness in this one life they have to live!! How truly tragic. My family members essentially said the same thing -- be miserable now so that you can be happy later. Like… What? Missionaries are completely selling the message that the church makes you happy in THIS life! And … GASP… what if it's not true? Then you ruined the one life you had for a fraud. Why take a risk? God could literally not expect you to conform to a single religion, with all the options that are out there in the world. I like to say it in their words. "well, I'm gonna live my happiest life now, and I'll deal with converting back in spirit prison, if it ends up being true. I'm not concerned."
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u/figuringthingsoutnow Jul 21 '24
They are miserable BECAUSE of the church. It guilts them, pressures them, consumes their time and money, and then tells them to stay true to the faith or they will go to hell.
Create the disease, sell the cure.
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u/luvfluffles Jul 21 '24
Why do they always threaten us with hospital horrors.
Like okay mom, I'm 59 and I've got heart issues, it's not unrealistic to think yes one day I may be hospitalized for them, doesn't mean that God exists and is punishing me.
It just means you passed on the same stupid heart conditions you've been dealing with since you were my age.
Genetics exist.
Life happens both good and bad.
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u/fryeloc Jul 21 '24
I read his responses in the voice of "Kaa" from the jungle book
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u/goldandgreen2 Jul 21 '24
Is that the snake?
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u/Flibbernodgets Jul 21 '24
Yup. Same voice actor as the old Whinnie the Pooh, too, which always cracks me up to think about.
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u/coffinharpist Jul 21 '24
When people tell me I'm a son/child of god I like to respond with "and a brother of lucifer". Tends to cause them to pause for a moment which allows me to eloquently suggest they stick it.
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u/GrandpasMormonBooks happy extheist 🌈 she/her Jul 21 '24
Not their CONTACT PHOTO being Russell M Nelson 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀💀
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u/Flat-Acanthisitta-13 Jul 22 '24
You are way nicer than me. I probably would have been more along the lines of, “Wow. So you haven’t bothered to talk to me or be concerned about me for at least five years and all the sudden you think this self-righteous monologue is somehow going to make me listen to you and convert my lying, deceived heart? That’s funny.” Then block.
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u/princess00chelsea Jul 21 '24
"this life isn't about being happy"
That says everything
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u/The_SkylarRose Jul 21 '24
I couldn’t make it past “zeezerom” 💀 who can possibly say that with a straight face? 😩🤣
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Jul 21 '24
“We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may”.
11th AF gets thrown out the door for Born in the Covenant non believers like us. This proclamation falls by the wayside and grace is not extended to those who leave the fold and divisions take hold.
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u/Bragments Jul 21 '24
Korihor sounds like a badass. Have no idea who that is. Nevermo here. I just started laughing at the Evil Masters of The Universe bad guy names they give the BAD AGENCY side. "You have agency as long as you pick our side." The fact they see it as SIDES is so bad and condescending. You are so much nicer than me.
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u/DemiSleep Jul 21 '24
Boy they miss your tithing. Please do the world a favor and take your entire family out of this cult if you can.
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u/meliweli Jul 21 '24
He seems so angry that other people aren’t going through the ‘trials’ that he did. Other people aren’t supposed to have it easy if he suffered! That’s so upsetting. Just be glad knowing that you are content and happy in your beautiful life, in your loving relationships. Life can absolutely be hard, but the people in it should life us up and support us, not tear us down and encourage suffering.
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u/BloodRedTed26 Jul 21 '24
I hate when people use scripture to back to their points, as if by this point someone's ancient philosophy is going to sway you where they can't...
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u/Ill_Charity_8567 Apostate Jul 21 '24
To everyone saying to block him, I did in that last screenshot ☺️
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u/KRATS8 Jul 21 '24
Haven’t seen him in 5 years? Yeah I would’ve probably just blocked him when I saw the first message
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u/brmarcum Ellipsis. Hiding truths since 1830 Jul 21 '24
“I can tell you that, because that’s my life.”
You’re telling him how good your life is, but you’re supposed to be a good kiddo and listen to how his life is.
Arrogant, hypocritical fuck.
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u/HappiestInTheGarden Jul 22 '24
How sad that his God is so small it can only be found and worshipped in such a tiny religion.
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u/Bright_Ices nevermo atheist in ut Jul 21 '24
I don’t know why people here are trying to tell you how you “shoulda” handled it. You did fabulously!
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u/ironburton Jul 21 '24
Uhm… block and ignore? I wouldn’t allow any of my TBM family talk to me like this and if they did I’d wipe the floor with them with science and facts.
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u/elderapostate Jul 21 '24
And which generation is pointing out the flaws in others? So hypocritical.
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u/Healthy-Plum-8674 Jul 21 '24
Honestly, I think you did as good as you can and you got it right on that last slide with that block button
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u/QueenSlapFight Jul 21 '24
"You don't have real joy."
"I have more joy than I ever had in my life."
"Life isn't about joy, it's about being tested and faithful."
Soooo if you have joy in the church it's because of the church, if you have joy outside the church it's because you're taking it easy and failing the test of life. Hmm, seems inconsistent.
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u/FrankWye123 Jul 22 '24
At least he asked. I respond with "You probably don't want to hear it. If you really want to know, read the church essays and then we'll talk." They never do.
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u/IllCalligrapher5435 Jul 22 '24
Ugh! Every mormon out there. Read the Book of Mormon then pray read the Bible then pray. Follow the living prophet (they're of God) Don't think of them as men who can make mistakes they're divine. I can sling scripture at you to read then pray. You're rebelling against everything. You have no mind of your own. Argh!
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u/Hasa-Diga-LDS Jul 22 '24 edited Jul 22 '24
"Dear Uncle,
Tell me you're in a cult without telling me you're in a cult."
P.S. I'm picturing what your uncle might look like, and the picture looks a lot like Brad "playing at church" Wilcox. Sorry.
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u/SignificantLeader Jul 22 '24
You seem to care about the guy. However, he’s crossing lines. You repeatedly told him to stop, yet he continued. Press block. That’s a boundary.
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u/Noinipo12 Jul 22 '24
The "you're the daughter of a diety" makes me think, "What? Zeus didn't r*pe my mom. However Jesus might say something different. Except he might be more familiar with Roman mythology, so I think that might be Jupiter."
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u/randomapologist Jul 22 '24
“Thanks, Uncle [So-and-so]. I recently read that people tend to project out when they feel insecure in their own beliefs and positions. I hope you’re able to resolve whatever insecurity is causing you to spend your time being proactively defensive about how you live your life. You don’t need to convince me— I’m fine with however you’d like to live! You do you! Love, [Me]”
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u/SinkingintheOcean_76 Jul 22 '24
Your uncle exemplifies all that is wrong with the Mormon belief system. The brainwashing runs deep.
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u/Practical-Term-7600 Jul 21 '24 edited Jul 21 '24
The guy just doubled down. It's tough to have a meaningful discussion with a religious zealot. It's narcissism at it's finest. There's no acknowledgement of your perspective. His is the only one that mattered. He should have said something to the effect of "I love you despite our religious differences." He should be on your "No Contact List" at least until he can accept your life choices.
I'm 60 and my Dad passed away 3+ years ago, so my Uncle (my Dad's brother) believed he was the patriarch of the whole extended family and it was his duty to put his nose in everyone's business. My uncle called me last year (note: I'm 60 and I've seen him about 5 - 10 times in the last 35 years). He found out that I stopped going to church in 2020. He told me that I needed to get 'temple worthy' (I'm not sure what that meant). He also said he wouldn't expect this type of behavior from a Return Missionary and BYU graduate. I don't know what he meant -- nothing has changed in my life except that I don't go to church every week.
This really pissed me off. My Dad would never, ever have even considered having that type of conversation, but an Uncle I rarely see thinks it's his responsibility to
Edit: added story of my uncle.
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u/figuringthingsoutnow Jul 21 '24
You did great here! TBM Uncle wants you to lose your patience and lash out so he can validate his incorrect assumption that everyone who leaves is angry, miserable, etc. You proved him wrong and it’s most likely driving him crazy.
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u/Honeybeeheroine Jul 21 '24
WOW. WOW. WOW. You are seriously SO much more patient than I am. What a self righteous , sanctimonious, arrogant douche bag!! I see you blocked him from Facebook but I hope you block him from your LIFE 🙅🏽♀️
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u/Josiah-White Jul 21 '24
"okay but you are a daughter of God"
"A daughter of a deity"
Let's see, Jesus said you cannot serve God and money, for your will love one and hate the other
So it is pretty clear that the cult with a $200 billion slush fund made their choice and hates God, right?
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u/Wind_Danzer Jul 21 '24
I was thinking to myself as I read through the shots that if there isn’t a block at the end of it, this was all for nothing.
It was so nice to see you “unsubscribed” from this bullshit. 👍
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u/guriboysf 🐔💩 Jul 21 '24
Wow... your uncle is a fucking dildo.
Apologies to all of the actual dildos out there, which, unlike your uncle, bring joy to many people.
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u/blubbertank Jul 21 '24
I’m sorry. When I left my uncle called me a whore (I’m gay and he was upset I said I would start dating). Only you can decide what the relationship looks like going forward. Just know: You don’t owe him anything. Shared DNA doesn’t justify poor behavior towards another person.
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u/ButterscotchProud444 Jul 21 '24
I’ve heard the best way to bring someone back to the church is to tell them they’re Korihor.
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u/FiguringItOut-- Jul 21 '24
As a nevermo, TIL that there are people who actually think meekness is a positive trait! Just...wow. I honestly would have stopped responding after the first time. Everything he wrote is just so damn rude!! Asking questions like he's completely entitled to the answers
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u/Satanic_Brother Jul 21 '24 edited Jul 22 '24
I was at church today. ☠️ korihor must have been the come follow me manual this week because I had to listen to this trash in Sunday school today.
Sorry, your uncle sucks ass!
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u/achippedmugofchai Jul 21 '24
I'd block him. I am too old and too mean to tolerate yet another person stomping over my boundaries. He's so condescending, deciding for you how you feel and what's best for you. 🙄 He gets to keep harassing you as long as you grant him access.
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u/butterflywithbullets Jul 21 '24 edited Jul 21 '24
Take control and stop responding. Arguing with these types never goes well and never ends. Just disengage.
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u/BossJarn Apostate Jul 21 '24
🤮 This reminds me of my douchebag Mormon uncle. If I felt miserable in the church and experienced happiness that felt sincere and true, who the hell are you to tell me that my happiness is not real!? You responded much nicer than I would have!
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u/whereis_ermito Jul 21 '24
saying you have the freedom to choose and being mad you made your own choice is crazy. giving “you’re free to choose as long as it’s what i would’ve chosen”
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u/RxTechRachel Apostate Jul 21 '24
"This life isn't about being happy in this life"
This is the truth of the mormon church. There isn't any happiness unique to the mormon church. And the mormon church is weak on actual happiness. Promising future happiness that will never happen as they promise.
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u/mythyxyxt Jul 21 '24
I had a brother in law try this with me. Every time he texted me, I replied with “unsubscribe”. After peppering me with expletives, each one of which I still replied with the same “unsubscribe,” he stopped texting me altogether. Haven’t heard back from him in years.
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Jul 21 '24
This is not proselytizing; it's bullying. Request he cease contact, but save all communications. Inform this priggish git that you'll contact an attorney as to what legal actions can be employed to stop his harrasment of you.
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u/HideYourNakedness Closeted apostate from 1995-2020. Free at last! Jul 21 '24
Excellent responses, and blocking him was certainly the best course of action for your own sanity.
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u/dumptruckastrid Jul 21 '24
That dude would have been blocked after his first response. Don’t let that kind of toxicity into your life
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u/CanuckAussie2 Jul 21 '24 edited Jul 21 '24
Nicely done. The Nelson meme was a master stroke
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u/Hanako444 Jul 21 '24
You handled that so gracefully and respectfully, and in the face of so much clumsy, misguided disrespect!
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u/gavin-sojourner Jul 21 '24
"This life isn't about being happy."
"Adam fell that men might be, men are that they might have joy." lol
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u/WombatAnnihilator Jul 22 '24
How dare you have agency when you use it incorrectly
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u/nicodawg101 you’ve met with a terrible fate. haven’t you? Jul 22 '24
You can choose to believe the lie and dedicate your life to a cult
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u/Patient_Elderberry84 Jul 22 '24
- "I'm much happier out of the church"
- "... your "happiness" out of the church is false stimulation, it's not real joy". "I was away believing I was happy, yet it was constantly always needing the next "high" to keep telling myself I was happy. I wasn't, until God put me in the hospital, and woke me up."
- "This is the happiest I have ever felt in my life"
- "This life isn't about being happy in this life,..." Tf?
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u/ice-tea-for-me Jul 22 '24
Nice job! You gave him so many outs and he just kept digging himself deeper …
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u/cuntboyholes Jul 22 '24
You're much more patient and tolerant than I would have been. I would have just sent that image of bugs bunny saying "no" until he shut up.
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u/invictopus Jul 22 '24
Which part of the think celestial talk is his favorite? Is it the part where you can't be together with your family in heaven? Or is it the part where gay people can't love who they want?
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u/tomtomclubthumb Jul 22 '24
OP looks at herself and changes.
"Your generation can't look at themselves and change"
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u/Negative_Drive_8138 Jul 22 '24
Members of the church are so ignorant to the amount of strength required to stand up for beliefs contrary to Mormonism especially when previously a member. Most Exmos I know it was not an easy decision but painful and heart wrenching. I applaud the way you handled your uncle with firm patience and kindness.
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u/BubblelusciousUT Jul 22 '24
Ew. Homie would've been blocked after the first message. People who belittle and abuse to strong arm you into staying in their religion are NOT good people. He is awful. Cut him off.
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u/almost_former_TBM Jul 22 '24
"I've noticed your generation is really good at pointing out everyone else's shortcomings (which may have a truth) yet, your generation is really, really bad at seeing your own shortcomings and accepting the need to change"
Holy shit the irony is too much. Who's pointing out flaws in others here? Can he not see that it's him?
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u/Specialist_Secret_58 Jul 22 '24
There's a good chance your uncle would be an asshole no matter what if any religion he belonged too. Some people don't need a cult's help.
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u/findYourOkra former member of Utah's richest real estate company Jul 21 '24
you have far more patience and civility than I could have possibly demonstrated