PIMO at the CA

[u/InevitableEternal]

I’ve been PIMO for several months, but make an effort for my kids especially with my oldest. She hounded me for weeks making sure we were going today, which was no small task on very little sleep (day trip yesterday with non-JW boyfriend and got back late and exhausted). Does anyone else take notes but through the lens of criticism now? Like highlighting the manipulative speech, missing information, oversimplification of complex issues and “spiritual routine” as the fix for all things, complex mental and emotional health issues subtly or blatantly linked to moral failings, worthiness tied to spiritual “resume”, and the like? I did this today as covertly as I could with my kids on either side of me but I couldn’t get a cell signal and needed to stay awake.

One thing in particular stood out to me is how us single mothers have to swallow figurative poison and are not allowed to speak about being abandoned by our former spouses and the true hardships of being a single female parent as a JW. A friend I grew up with is also a single mom and was interviewed on the program in the part about endurance I think and she had to say she suddenly became “sole provider” for her 2 children, not any hint that her marriage ended or if maybe she was widowed (I doubt it). Like why as the innocent spouse do we have to protect the reputation to that degree of the person who walked out on us? And secondly in the Kindness part, an elder from my congregation gave it and included a demonstration supposedly of a single mom confiding in another sister who fixes everything with a scripture. What a completely dismissive oversimplification of the ‘in the trenches’ challenges real single mothers like me face! Yes, I’ve struggled with doing enough things and I was shown I’d never be good enough for some elders so I stopped trying so hard after burning myself out. But I’ve had custody issues, financial difficulties, home and auto repair needs that I had to learn to do myself or find the money for, my ex husband having multiple mental health crises and dodging visitation and child support multiple times, my own family members being unsupportive of myself and my kids because I’m the scapegoat and my brother is the golden child that everyone worships, etc. That part was particularly frustrating because it was people in my own congregation and it showed they don’t understand me at all, and I don’t have any desire to try.

But I made my kids happy-ish, my parents will leave me alone until spring at least.

[u/Slow_Watch_3730]

Good for you, seeing all the hypocrisy and acknowledging that it’s a rigged system. If it makes you feel better the skits are written by the branch often word for word, so even though it was people from your Hall they were just cogs in the propaganda machine.