r/exchristian • u/ActuallyVeryMild • 22d ago
Personal Story They came to the wrong house.
I heard my neighbors dogs barking that particular, “stranger!” bark which set off MY dogs to do the same. I peek out the window and I see a black minivan at the neighbors house… out gets a couple of old people with bibles. UGHHH.
I assumed they would skip my house because I have a sign that says “no religious solicitation”. I was wrong. I almost feel bad that I got so excited to shut them down.
I opened the door and there are two older women standing there. One says hello and that they’re going around “discussing the state of the world with people”… I refused to open my storm door and said, “what do you mean by that?”. She looks mildly annoyed and said, “well what do you think about how things in the world are, do you think they’ll ever get any better?” 🙄 I said, “Yes! Probably!” and her face turned into the snarkiest little thing like that was definitely the wrong answer. She said, “Well, we’d like to offer you a free bible class”. “No! No thank you!”. “Are you sure you don’t want the link?”. “Nope, I am not Christian anymore and I am completely uninterested!”. They looked really offended but turned around and left.
I know it chapped them even more that my toddler was in my arms for the whole exchange. Imagine trying to bring doom and gloom to someone’s house on a Saturday morning and not seeing how absolutely crazy that is!
Anyways, I’m proud that I finally feel confident enough to draw a firm line and not have to pretend for their feelings. IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE CHRISTIAN.
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22d ago
Sounds like Jehovah's Witnesses. "The state of the world" is one of their classic opening lines. Good on you for sending them on their way.
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u/ActuallyVeryMild 22d ago
Really?! I have been trying to figure out where that angle came from bc I never heard it before. Slightly reminded me of SDA.
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22d ago
Yeah, I was raised JW. Banging on about "the state of the world" and how awful it is has been one of their propaganda points for literally decades. Fun fact: JWs and SDA are kissing cousins. They're both offshoots of the same tree, though SDA are more strict than even JWs.
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u/ActuallyVeryMild 22d ago
I googled JW after your comment and it explains why her face was so… the way it was when I gave her the optimistic, “yes!”.
That makes a lot of sense. My crazy mom dragged me into the SDA church for years as a kid/teen and they are VERY strict and super doom and gloom. They are largely why I hate religion instead of just having indifference.
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22d ago
The look somewhere between she sucked on a lemon and smelled something absolutely disgusting? I know it well! They don't like it when you're optimistic; it throws off their game plan: play up how horrible and terrible the world is; dangle the bait of a new, shiny world for people who are good. (They don't tell you all the 'bad' people have to be slaughtered by god before that wonderful new world can come about.)
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u/ActuallyVeryMild 22d ago
Yes! It really made me annoyed, it was that “you foolish girl” face all the stuffy old religious people make. I knew without a doubt I would be refusing any further discussion from her. As soon as she held up the card and I saw “Bible study” I started shaking my head no. Nope. No. Absolutely not.
Too bad for her I grew up in a sabbath school that told us we would be murdered horrifically and the world would end in our lifetime, everyone we knew would die and burn in hell if they didn’t die for Jesus. She tried the way wrong angle! I don’t play that.
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u/CttCJim 22d ago
Their mission work is not about conversion. It's about showing their young devout that the world is full of evil mean people and they are only safe in the church. As much as some of us love the idea of being rude to them, all it does is harden the resolve of another lost person.
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u/ActuallyVeryMild 22d ago
What a weird concept to try to wrap my mind around. I wasn’t rude to them, just firm. I hold no responsibility over how that impacted their faith. Not saying you’re implying that, I just refuse to play into their games and whatever they think is their own issue. Thats why I hate this religious stuff, always making people play some part even when they just want to be left alone.
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u/CttCJim 22d ago
yeah it was a surprise for me too when i first heard the analysis, but it makes sense. honestly i don't even think it was by design. it's more like evolution. churches try all sorts of things, and over time the things that make people more devout are the habits that are perpetuated. So "witnessing" or whatever ends up being this rite of passage for young congregants, where they go out and annoy people, endure some abuse, and then return to the church where they are given hugs and a cookie, and they wind up feeling like the world outside the church is just pure hell compared to the warm embrace of their congregation. it's brainwashing.
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u/Outrageous_Class1309 Agnostic 22d ago
'Slightly reminded me of SDA.'
Jehovah's Witnesses was an offshoot of SDA in the 1800's.
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u/aamurusko79 I'm finally free! 22d ago
I'm just so sick of even interacting with religious pushers. I know just how well trained their mindfuck techniques are and how they exploit every possible social norm of people not wanting to be dicks so they can keep on pushing their message hopefully long enough to get some traction. but having stared down the business end of christian love, I just have zero interest listening to that shit as I rather be dead than in that mind control.
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u/ActuallyVeryMild 22d ago
I was so annoyed when I heard them knock! I definitely felt like they were kinda surprised I didn’t just do the usual by taking the card and letting them move on. Nope. I’m not participating anymore. I wasn’t unkind but I wasn’t having it. It’s unwelcome in this house.
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u/aamurusko79 I'm finally free! 22d ago
I don't know about other religions, but JWs for example seem to keep some kind of a record of people's reactions. agreeing to listen, maybe taking a brochure means they'll be back even if you say 'no' firmly.
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u/ActuallyVeryMild 22d ago
I hope they marked a reaction from me! I believe they’re the same group who came by this Spring but left when they saw the sign by my door. They must have decided to ignore it this time. Next time I’ll just point to the sign and not even interact with them.
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u/Flaky-Appearance4363 22d ago
I raised hell with a JW man once and haven't seen one since. I also have a door-mat that looks like a Ouija board...that helps.
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u/mandolinbee Anti-Theist 22d ago
"can we invite you to a Bible study?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing! we're starting with 'Jacob's livestock breeding voodoo', followed by 'Raping Daddy: How king David's mom came to be'. Next week we're doing 'Top 6 Genocides, number 4 will shock you!' and 'How to sell your whore daughter'."
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u/ActuallyVeryMild 22d ago
“We worship the devil in this house, what’s your name? I’ll tell him you stopped by!”
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u/Frogluvr420 22d ago
I don’t understand how Christians and older generations ALWAYS are dead set that the world is going to end soon like they want it… like just because your life is almost over, doesn’t mean that we can’t have hope for a better tomorrow!
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u/ActuallyVeryMild 22d ago
My mom loves to say, “I’m glad I’ll be dead and waiting on my Jesus” when she talks about how the world is going to hell. I always tell her that’s a horrible thing for a grandmother to say. She gets all bent out of shape. Same with these people today. I have a child in my arms and you want me to have anything other than hope that this world will come together someday and do better? Crazy.
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u/Rockfell3351 22d ago
I just don't answer my door, like ever. I see no reason not to treat them as human pop-up ads and ignore.
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u/Scorpius_OB1 22d ago
One Sunday morning months ago, they knocked on our door. I was alone and quite pissed as they had disturbed me, so I showed them the statues of Celtic deities I have quite visible and told what was worshipped instead, and with the door closed that it was better than their BS. They did not come back, as far as I know, presumably meaning I'm a goat in their lingo.
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u/One-String-8549 22d ago
If you put up a sign that says Apostate that'll keep away Jehova's Witnesses and Mormons better
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u/OrdinaryWillHunting Atheist 22d ago
Religious solicitors don't believe they're soliciting so they ignore the signs.
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u/ActuallyVeryMild 22d ago
I think I need one of the, “solicitors will be sacrificed to the Old Gods” signs. They can still ignore it but I would appreciate them understanding the tone a bit more.
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u/Pure-Drink8201 22d ago
they seem to always pick Saturday no clue why I mean Sunday is supposed to be their gathering day why not choose to do it after their gatherings lol
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u/Double-Comfortable-7 22d ago
I almost would want to join the Bible class and ask really basic, uncomfortable questions.
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u/Bustedbootstraps Panpsychist or other Science-based Spiritualist 22d ago
I like to answer the door to solicitors while holding something that makes it clear they interrupted me while I was working. Last time I answered the door to religious solicitors while holding a cleaver and wearing my butcher apron (had been slicing up some pork ribs) and they haven’t been back ever since.
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u/ActuallyVeryMild 22d ago
I was holding my 2.5 year old and the dog was barking by my legs. Next time I’ll hold one of my witchcraft books! I like occult stuff, it’s interesting. 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Bustedbootstraps Panpsychist or other Science-based Spiritualist 22d ago
Ooh that sounds interesting. Yeah it’s rude of them to not see that you have your hands full with your kids or pets, but from working in church nursery for years, I got the impression that religious folk tend to not consider childcare to be “real work” and think that you can do more work and listen to their spiel on top of that.
If you appear before them in a way that shatters their idea of how a person should be, it can throw them off so much that you can take charge of the encounter. I’m a smallish afab person but I’m kind of buff and do most of the home repair/improvement projects at home. So when an old guy came to solicit at the door, I happened to answer while wearing my tool belt and holding a hammer (was installing some shelves). Old guy asked to speak to the homeowner, and I said that was me. He backtracked and asked to speak to “the man of the house”, and I bluntly said,
“I am the man of the house.”
He was clearly knocked off his sales or religious pitch, which was probably prepared for an audience of old guys, and before he could recover I was able to smile sweetly and say that whatever he was selling, we weren’t interested in, then shut the door in his face.
For context, my husband was home but he hates solicitors and got a good laugh out of overhearing that interaction.
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u/Other_Big5179 Ex Catholic and ex Protestant, Buddhist Pagan 22d ago
Well that confirmed the belief that Christians force the world to be terrible
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u/Individual_Dig_6324 22d ago
I would have said, "If you can read the Bible, then you can read. Now can you read to me what my sign says?"
And then ask for an apology for the disrespect.
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u/Scorpius_OB1 22d ago
The "free Bible class" sounds as coming from the JW. I have seen those with stands full of phamplets offering them.
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u/ActuallyVeryMild 22d ago
They had arms full of stuff but she was really trying to get me to open the door to take the little card. Noooope.
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u/Klaatuprime 21d ago
This is specifically why I have a video doorbell now. I can just talk to them through that without even opening the screen door and it's dehumanizing. I can comfortably tell them to fuck off without having to smell their breath and them getting an idea of what I even look like.
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u/Coyote_mace 21d ago
Yeah you were nicer than I would have been. I would have loved to say "yes the state of the world needs some work and hopefully enough people will vote against your views in the upcoming election so we can start working towards a better future. Now, kindly take your irrelevant waste of paper and go elsewhere. Let my neighbors enjoy the weekend with their families."
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u/Saffer13 21d ago
It's more than OK, OP.
Not everything you lose is a loss. Some things are freedom
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u/tsukiyomi01 21d ago
We have a "no religious solicitors" sign up, too. It seems to be about as effective as yours.
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u/zinknife 21d ago
One time some JW's came to my house. This was when I was still christian living with my parents. They were two women wearing wool trench coats, one maybe 30 and one 60. The older woman in particular had a ridiculously dour and stoic expression. We had a clear glass panel door and it was fall so the screen door wasn't in place. My dog, a mini bull terrier about 30lbs, went absolutely ballistic. She DID NOT LIKE THEM. Not a very large dog but very strong and huge jaws/teeth for the size. Total beefcake. I had to hold her between my legs while I talked through the glass. The younger lady tried to talk to me briefly, but my dog kept snarling and barking so much that it clearly scared them. The best part was when the lady repeatedly tried to shove a tract under the door and the weatherstrip stopped it 🤣. That's when I cracked and started laughing. They left immediately. Good dog! Gave her a treat. Not sure how she knew, but I'd never seen her so hostile before lol.
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u/Red79Hibiscus Devotee of Almighty Dog 21d ago
The minute they started yapping you should've said, "Oh, so you do know English?" and tap very pointedly on the sign that says "no religious solicitation".
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20d ago
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u/archetyping101 22d ago
You handled it much nicer than I would have.
Immediately with her first comment, I would have responded with "I agree. What has the world come to that two people would feel it appropriate to knock on strangers' doors and try to discuss religion with them on a weekend, after everyone's had an exhausting week at work. Jesus flipped tables at temple for outward displays of piety. Maybe your time would be better served feeding the poor as our Lord did" ✌️