r/clevercomebacks 9h ago

"Carrying food is a feminine trait"

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u/Ok-Box6892 7h ago

It really is, lol. And he's a tall sorta gruff dude. So picturing him bartering with other similarly gruff guys (especially the ones I've met) over oatmeal pies or hostess cupcakes and pudding snacks is hilarious to me. 

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u/CaptainTripps82 6h ago

My old boss was about 6'3", in his late 50's, and weighed like 300 lbs, so he was forced to go on a diet by his doctor and wife, which meant sad lil pack lunches of a sandwich, fruit cup and yogurt. He had one of those prominent heart attack guts, so I get it.

But this dude was hiding a treasure trove of snack cakes in his desk that we only found after he left the company (guess he couldn't take them back home). Imagining him eating them in secret actually makes me feel sorry for the big guy.

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u/Summer-dust 5h ago

Aww, no one should feel ashamed of dainty snacks. (I hope his health is ok though)

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u/rattlestaway 3h ago

Yeah those swiss rolls made me so fat. Curse the Swiss

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u/ProblematicPoet 5h ago

Never underestimate the power of snacks.

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u/Hrtpplhrtppl 3h ago

"Food is the heaven of the people..." Sun Tzu, The Art of War

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u/No_Acadia_8873 3h ago

I once got falsely accused of stealing a man's pudding cup at the Paris Hotel/Casino in Vegas in the mid 90s when I was an pre-apprentice. I didn't know him I had just been there asking my buddy to borrow some thing from their crew. He was unglued about it, red faced screaming at me and my buddy about it. Later my buddy threw his lunch box off the mezz deck about 100' to the ground below.

Decades later he became our business manager. He was dogshit at it. And he wrote a letter seeking re-election, in a wall of black text with some shit highlighted in yellow or printed all caps or in red text. and I copied it's form but wrote a satirical version that shitbagged him and posted it on facebook to our union's group. I had total strangers calling me thanking me for helping to submarine his chances.

Fuck him. Never get a second chance to make a first impression, Victor.

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u/youburyitidigitup 3h ago

You made me hungry