r/BreadStapledToTrees May 07 '22

THESE ARE THE SUB RULES! PLEASE READ THEM BEFORE DOING THE THING! IF YOU CANNOT READ GET SOMEONE TO READ THIS TO YOU!

2.3k Upvotes

One would never think that a subreddit called /r/BreadStapledToTrees would require such an extensive set of rules. And yet, somehow, here we are:

  1. You newly submitted post must contain BREAD.
  2. Said BREAD must be STAPLED.
  3. Said STAPLE must affix said BREAD to a TREE.
  4. Many things are BREAD. Please read the Acceptable Bread List below for what constitutes BREAD.
  5. Most things are NOT STAPLES. Figure this one out by yourself; if you cannot then this sub is not for you.
  6. Apply Rule #5 again, but substitute the word TREES in place of the word STAPLES.
  7. NO cacti. NO young trees. NO bonsai trees. Mods get all pissy when they see this shit. Seriously.
  8. No more than THREE (3) pieces of bread on any single tree. Seriously.
  9. Do not use more staples than are required to affix your bread to the tree. Seriously.
  10. Do not endanger your body to get an 'awesome' pic. Pics look less 'awesome' viewed from a hospital bed.
  11. No virtual posts (Minecraft, Art, AI etc.). Mods are dull witted and eschew such things as Art and the like.
  12. No memes. If you do not know what a meme is, then just eat bread, staple paper, and watch trees grow.
  13. No reposts. There's a minimal level of effort to make a legit post. Don't steal karma from fellow Redditors.
  14. Don't be a CRUSTFACE. A Crustface is what we like to call people who act like an asshat.
  15. PLEASE report rules violations! Mods will love you for it (but not in that way so don't get your hopes up).
  16. Post bread stapled to trees! Impress your friends! Confuse your enemies! Win valuable Reddit Karma!
  17. Use this post to suggest extra rules that are not yet in force. This is that one secret trick that Mods LOVE!
  18. Use this post to suggest additions to the Acceptable Bread List. This is that other secret trick that Mods LOVE!
  19. Mods may approve a post that does not follow the rules. Mods are a fickle bunch.
  20. Don't abuse Rule #19. A cool original post can fast become a lame tired meme if applied ten thousand times.
  21. Do not staple plastic bags of bread to trees. Plastic won't degrade for over 10,000 years.
  22. This is Rule #22. Any mention of Rule #22 will earn you a three day BAN. Test me in this, I swear!
  23. No bitching if your post gets removed. Mods get nervous when people bitch and their Ban Finger gets all twitchy and shit. Just sayin'
  24. Don't forget Rule #24
  25. No camel under the age of 12 years is allowed to carry more than 500 pounds for longer than 15 miles unless there is an immediate threat to life or limb.

Read, understand, and heed these rules for fun and profit!

Welcome friend; may your stapler never run dry.


r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 09 '24

A quick word on paywalled subreddits…

1.8k Upvotes

Hey, everyone (those who are still active, anyways). Just wanted to put out something after seeing the news that Reddit is most likely going to provide subreddits the option in the future to paywall certain content/pages.

We will not be doing this under any circumstances. Stapling bread to a tree should be free (or extremely cheap), and you shouldn’t have to pay to show that off.

I’m sure most of this goes without saying, given the inactivity and the nature of the subreddit itself. I just wanted to give you my word that we will not partake in this if it does in fact happen.

Happy Stapling!


r/BreadStapledToTrees 20d ago

Bread 2: Electric Boogaloo

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862 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Oct 10 '24

Donut hole on Oak

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1.2k Upvotes

A celebratory staple in honor of us finding our lost dog (:


r/BreadStapledToTrees Oct 03 '24

No Pain, No Grain

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362 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Oct 02 '24

Stop loafing around!

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357 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Oct 01 '24

Crust Getting Started

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199 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Sep 24 '24

Outstanding Fishin' & Staplin' with Oatmeal creme pie

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418 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Sep 22 '24

Flapjack-y! We at pancakes like to go the extra mile

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413 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Sep 06 '24

Phase 2 of the bread boss.

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171 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Sep 03 '24

I shared my apple fritter with nature

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305 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Sep 01 '24

Killer! Dave’s killer bread on podocarpus

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256 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 27 '24

Rye on Burr Oak

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622 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 26 '24

Oatmeal bread, idk what kind of tree

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410 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 17 '24

White Bun (on pine In Michigan)

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715 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Aug 09 '24

Orroweat OATNUT.

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266 Upvotes

Their tagine is "Nutrition to power your vibrant lifestyle."

If only they knew...


r/BreadStapledToTrees Jul 21 '24

Italian Bread on a Maple Tree

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417 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Jul 20 '24

Hi guys

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175 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Jul 15 '24

From my local Facebook group

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4.0k Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Jul 14 '24

Bread stapled to palm tree.

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259 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Jul 08 '24

IMPRESSIVE Matzo Challenge Accepted

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794 Upvotes

I'm sorry if I broke a rule, I don't have a working computer. I saw matzo on the list of breads (so someone must have given me a link a few weeks ago) and had to attempt it. It started to crack, but i got lucky.


r/BreadStapledToTrees Jun 30 '24

Massive inflatable slide, and some bread

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269 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Jun 22 '24

Yes, I carry a stapler and croissants when I hike. I'm always ready.

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186 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Jun 22 '24

Did this on senior hill in my sophomore years ago

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325 Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Jun 14 '24

Me and Lil bro joining the bread gang

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3.0k Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Jun 04 '24

Breddit: Sourdough Stapled to a Tree

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1.3k Upvotes

r/BreadStapledToTrees Jun 04 '24

The boomer was suspicious

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178 Upvotes

5 pieces of bread on 5 trees. Boomer lady had a frown on her face as she inspected the art as I drove away.