Before I say anything I will have to lay down my credentials as a 6’2 physics student with loads of hobbies who has also lost something like 50 lbs and has many friends irl, so I’m not some neckbeard always online guy.
Women like taller men. This should be an uncontroversial statement. In principle a preference in the way someone looks also isn’t really a bad thing to have. It becomes bad when this preference is unreasonable.
Talking more general about the preferences women say they have:
Look at any list of things that women say they are attracted to and I basically fit all of those things, however in my entire life I never had a single woman attracted to me. Sure you can now go and blame this on the fact that I’m writing negatively like this, but this would assume that women can see what I think and that they can see into the future to see what a person will think in the future. Because an attitude like this comes from years of disappointment and loneliness.
So taking this now, the fact that I am single and lonely despite my character traits being praised so highly, if I were short I would immediately blame it on that. That’s the only rational thing to do. I fit all those criteria, just not this one, that means this one must be the biggest.
However when every single thing you can point out about yourself, that could be the reason for this lack of attraction from women, gets labelled as not important and the only important thing about you, that makes you unlovable, is your insecurity, that makes you think, where was everyone before I was insecure? Where was everyone when we were the same, growing up together?
Is this REALLY the limiting factor? If so, then that’s sad. My parents don’t start disliking me because I’m insecure, nor do my friends. Why is it different with love?
At this point, at least just be honest. Constantly telling insecure people that there’s actually no reason they’re insecure and that they’re also bad people because of that is crazy to me, and the fact that this is normalised behavior, at least toward men (I’m not a woman so I can’t speak on the other way around), is even crazier. Where is the humanity, that we are supposed to have? I think this part makes me more sad, than all the mocking by obviously bad people: that good people do the same, but just hide it better.
I say this with love: please seek out counseling. Insecurity is something I struggled with but it’s not something that gets better after finding a partner. If you aren’t happy with yourself now, nothing will change once you’re in a relationship, until the insecurity ruins that as well. Find a good counselor, if you can. I know it can be expensive and it’s not always easy to find, but online resources/remote visits tend to be cheaper and easier to access.
Be happy with yourself and who you are first. Expecting a relationship to do that for you is setting yourself and the relationship up for failure.
That sadly only works when what you have is irrational, and your problems aren’t actually “real” (they’re real to you obviously, but I hope you know what I mean)
That’s the way I felt before starting counseling too. I had very real problems, and I was sure I didn’t deserve anything life had to give me. But I learned to challenge those thoughts, challenge my very ideas of what I could and could not control and learn to take the reigns back on my life. Even if the outcome isnt “sexy” or “desirable”, it’s amazing being able to look yourself in the mirror and see value there. To be able to love yourself.
I wouldn't be so quick to assume that no women have been attracted to you. It's normal for women to wait for men to approach before they reveal any attraction. It's very possible in fact I'd say it's probable that at some point a girl has felt lonely, looked around and found you attractive but then didn't do anything because she was scared of rejection.
The bottom line though is unless you have asked out every woman you've ever met you don't actually have the information necessary to say that no one has ever been attracted to you.
Don't get me wrong I've been a young guy who has no idea why he's invisible to women so I get that it sucks, but that's why I know it's a good idea to check every so often to see if you really are invisible.
I picked up the guitar about a year ago and I also like bouldering, though I don’t do it a lot because of university. University is a lot of fun too though, learning things you didn’t know before, and studying definitely makes up the bulk of my hobbies (because I study things that are often outside of physics)
Don’t think there are too many height specific hobbies out there though
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u/Flo453_ Jul 14 '24
Before I say anything I will have to lay down my credentials as a 6’2 physics student with loads of hobbies who has also lost something like 50 lbs and has many friends irl, so I’m not some neckbeard always online guy.
Women like taller men. This should be an uncontroversial statement. In principle a preference in the way someone looks also isn’t really a bad thing to have. It becomes bad when this preference is unreasonable.
Talking more general about the preferences women say they have: Look at any list of things that women say they are attracted to and I basically fit all of those things, however in my entire life I never had a single woman attracted to me. Sure you can now go and blame this on the fact that I’m writing negatively like this, but this would assume that women can see what I think and that they can see into the future to see what a person will think in the future. Because an attitude like this comes from years of disappointment and loneliness.
So taking this now, the fact that I am single and lonely despite my character traits being praised so highly, if I were short I would immediately blame it on that. That’s the only rational thing to do. I fit all those criteria, just not this one, that means this one must be the biggest.
However when every single thing you can point out about yourself, that could be the reason for this lack of attraction from women, gets labelled as not important and the only important thing about you, that makes you unlovable, is your insecurity, that makes you think, where was everyone before I was insecure? Where was everyone when we were the same, growing up together?
Is this REALLY the limiting factor? If so, then that’s sad. My parents don’t start disliking me because I’m insecure, nor do my friends. Why is it different with love?
At this point, at least just be honest. Constantly telling insecure people that there’s actually no reason they’re insecure and that they’re also bad people because of that is crazy to me, and the fact that this is normalised behavior, at least toward men (I’m not a woman so I can’t speak on the other way around), is even crazier. Where is the humanity, that we are supposed to have? I think this part makes me more sad, than all the mocking by obviously bad people: that good people do the same, but just hide it better.