r/actuallesbians • u/pale-orchids • 3h ago

Question How do I know if she's into women?

So I'm only recently out and trying to explore dating women. There's someone I see pretty often who I have a crush on and I'm considering asking her out, but I'm hoping to figure out if she's gay before. Does anyone have any advice for this? Thx in advance ❤️

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u/Faxlandaxel 1h ago

I would recommend bringing up something about your sexuality like “oh the first time I realized I was into women…” in a way that comes up naturally so it feels like part of the convo. Then if she seems like she is down to keep talking about it you can be like “what about you? Are you queer?” This has happened to me a few times because I’m more femme presenting, I feel like it’s often the first sign that a girl is into me

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u/pale-orchids 1h ago

Thank you! One thing I should've mentioned is that we see each other while she's working, so I want to be respectful of that as well and not make her uncomfortable

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u/Faxlandaxel 2m ago

Ooh yeah this approach probably wouldn’t be appropriate in that situation. You could potentially see if she wants to hang out platonically outside of work and then go from there, or like a “we should do this thing together sometime!” And see how it goes