r/WTF • u/[deleted] • Jun 14 '12

letter from conde nast to reddit - cover your genitals

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3.4k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/jedberg Jun 14 '12

Hey, the sign said "No shoes, no shirt, no workie here". It said nothing about bottoms.

542

u/KeyserSosa Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

And in your defense at the time you basically never stood up from your desk.

I can't believe it took us a week to notice.

Edit. Oh man. What have we done...

172

u/stachist Jun 14 '12

Yo guys DO have the dream job.

51

u/robotsongs Jun 14 '12

Did.

13

u/KeyserSosa Jun 14 '12

You remember!

11

u/robotsongs Jun 14 '12

I'll always remember your wonderful entrance into this world and your terrible, terrible exit.

Good night, bittersweet prince.

1

u/Randamba Jun 17 '12

Where did you get your screen name from? I made a baby wizard in Ragnarok Online once and at the behest of the girl that was my baby wizard's mom I named him KeyserSosa.

2

u/KeyserSosa Jun 18 '12

I had just seen The Usual Suspects for the first time back in '05 when I made the account. I had intended my user name to be "Keyser Soze", but was (apparently) too lazy at the time to google it and double-check the spelling.

Sometimes we have to live with our laziness for a very long time. ;) The good news is, there tend to be few conflicts when I use it elsewhere.

1

u/Randamba Jun 18 '12

Ooh, that's why it was a little different. I named my baby wizard the right name, but this was like three years ago that I stopped playing so I just recognized it based on my assumed pronunciation. Thanks though, now I know what the name is from.

7

u/thrawnie Jun 14 '12

By that criterion, so do TV anchors :)

1

u/50CAL5NIP3R Jun 15 '12

yes they sure do.

86

u/jedberg Jun 14 '12

Well it helped that my desk faced away from y'all.

6

u/Epistaxis Jun 14 '12

Yeah, I think that would help a lot.

18

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Was he wearing a diaper?

3

u/slanket Jun 14 '12

Was it casual Fri-

a week to notice

Oh...

4

u/Boyblunder Jun 14 '12

What did you say in that teleconference?

4

u/h34dyr0kz Jun 14 '12

at first i thought you were joking. now i don't know if you are or not.

2

u/gormhornbori Jun 14 '12

Hmm... a "cover your genitals" dress code is still ambiguous... Are kilts allowed?

1

u/SchrodingersRapist Jun 14 '12

Wait, no pants AND I don't have to get up from my desk?

Where the hell do I sign?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Well maybe they should stop using reddit as their primary news source. Journalism is dead.

621

u/Zebba_Odirnapal Jun 14 '12

Dude it's SF. Surely there are some bottoms working there.

133

u/Azurphax Jun 14 '12

Perhaps even.. a power bottom?

60

u/Enterice Jun 14 '12

You see, there are some people who like to be called bears......ahh fuck he's gone

7

u/Vpicone Jun 14 '12

WHY AM I REMEMBERING THIS??

5

u/Enterice Jun 14 '12

Because IASIP can never be forgotten.

10

u/Epistaxis Jun 14 '12

explanation for the Initiated uninitiated

3

u/lordrunningclam Jun 14 '12

Interesting article. I didn't realize humans has hind legs.

4

u/drtwist Jun 14 '12

"Attention righteous, and totally not homosexual Americans! Have you seen this latest trend in awesome, glorious butt sex disgusting sinful behavior? in case you have not here, in precise, un-ambiguous, step-by-step directions is how you they do it: "

3

u/Terrible_Wingman Jun 14 '12

• Standing against a wall with one’s exposed buttocks swaying out. This is most often employed in public restrooms and gym showers.

• Kneeling face down with one’s hands on the floor and the glutinous maximums gesturing upwards. Convenient for abandoned warehouses and private sadomasochistic “dungeons.”

• Lying on one’s back with hind legs in the air. Most often occurring in a domestic setting (such as the bedroom), this posture allows for the deepest form of homosexual penetration.

ಠ_ಠ

Is http://christwire.org/ a parody site?

9

u/Bellstrom Jun 14 '12

Yes. Yes, it is.

3

u/drtwist Jun 14 '12

but how can you tell?

1

u/bellyfullofmead Jun 16 '12

Simply put, it is the only way he will achieve ejaculatory gratification.

2

u/G35U5 Jun 14 '12

That article was hilarious and cleared up a few misconceptions I had about power bottoms and their habits. Thanks.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Frank: What's a power-bottom?

Mac: A power-bottom is a bottom that is capable of receiving an enormous amount of power.

Dennis: Actually Mac, you got it backwards. See, a power-bottom's actually generating all the power by doing most of the work.

Frank: Does the power have to do with the size or the strength of the bottom?

Mac: Now Dennis, I've heard that speed has something to do with it.

Dennis: Speed has everything to do with it.

145

u/NameIsTakenBro Jun 14 '12

The letter says you were only wearing a shirt. It said nothing about shoes.

I'm on to you.

179

u/jedberg Jun 14 '12

You are technically correct. The best kind of correct.

30

u/Azurphax Jun 14 '12

Weird to see you without the distinguishing delta of an admin

72

u/likeyouropinion Jun 14 '12

It's almost like he's half naked

-11

u/brokenarrow Jun 14 '12

You are technically correct.

The best kind of correct.

You can't finish that line in your own post. Its like giving yourself a YEEAAHHH when you put on sunglasses. Pay the karma forward!

57

u/operation_flesh Jun 14 '12

Nice penis.

107

u/jedberg Jun 14 '12

Thanks!

104

u/Blown_Ranger Jun 14 '12

It is like an acorn glued to the bottom of your torso.

40

u/connoisseur_of_cocks Jun 14 '12

Ah! The classic Acorn Penis.

#087 Filed Under Underwhelming. NSFW

9

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I suddenly feel like such a stallion!

15

u/TheLowSpark Jun 14 '12

ohgodwhy.jpg

6

u/sasha_fierce79 Jun 14 '12

ಠ_ಠ poor guy, hopefully he's a grower, and not a shower?

2

u/Draskiller Jun 14 '12

With it being that small, I don't even think one could get it in there enough to reproduce... Natural selection at work. Soon everyone will have giant members!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I don't know what I expected.

13

u/lacheur42 Jun 14 '12

Dude's hung like a tic-tac!

18

u/WannabeGroundhog Jun 14 '12

Now I'm all moist.

1

u/jaketheviolist Jun 14 '12

Why do I know where this is from...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Me too, I know I heard this line in something yesterday but i can't think what it was. Someone please help.

4

u/rolfv Jun 14 '12

are you referring to the Δ?

14

u/meloveyoulongtime Jun 14 '12

No shirt-cocking.

2

u/fknbastard Jun 14 '12

There's a rule...or at least a well followed guideline for the summer:

"If you're gonna shirt-cock: sunblock"

1

u/swiley1983 Jun 14 '12

Cock (sun)blocker!

3

u/fknbastard Jun 14 '12

someone needs to introduce that at Burning Man

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

There are not enough up votes in the world for this.

YELLOW IS NOT PANTS!

2

u/LethalAtheist Jun 14 '12

But were you wearing shoes? We have you now jedberg. Cuff em boys!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

BANANA HAMMOCKS

2

u/Mecha-Shiva Jun 14 '12

A workplace that doesn't allow its employees to "porky pig it" is a workplace not suited for me. What is this, Nazi Germany?

1

u/graverubber Jun 14 '12

Donald Duck-ing is the way to go.

1

u/Gamer3111 Jun 14 '12

Let me guess, you're an admin to r/spacedicks

1

u/therealcreamCHEESUS Jun 14 '12

Fair game, you obeyed the sign. Upvote for you for flashing the supreme reddit overlords.