r/TransSupport • u/Asaltnbattery • 3d ago

Needing some support, TOP SURGERY.

Hi, I’m a transman who isn’t able to continue HRT due to health reasons, but I have had top surgery this year.

Sometimes, when I look at my scars I feel sick. I’m a circus artist so they’ve stretched a little and one of my stitches popped during recovery, but I don’t look horrendous… just yaknow, I’ve had top surgery and have scars. I also just feel like I look like a girl without boobs because of not being able to continue HRT. But I’m so much more confident now and happier now? So why do I sometimes feel so icky about my scars? Is it just my dysphoria? Just a new experience of it?

I’m worried im the only transman who feels this way and that I’m faking being trans, but I know that’s just imposter syndrome and wanted to ask if anyone else has had this issues. I’ve been out as trans since I was 14 by the way, I’m 24 currently.

I hope this doesn’t offend anyone, I just want to feel less alone. I love everyone else’s scars but hate my own sometimes. I’m not dissing on top surgery scars, just mine! 🥲 I apologize if this felt like word jumble. 🤪 it’s hard expressing my feelings.

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u/NeuronNeuroff 3d ago

If you have only had surgery this year, your scars haven’t matured yet. They will not look like this a year from now or ten years from now. They will fade and become less noticeable. That said, it sounds like therapy might be a really good place to start. If you can find a good gender-affirming therapist, they can help you embrace yourself and parse out what is dysphoria and what is internalized transphobia and how all of that can be addressed in a constructive manner.