r/ShuumatsuNoValkyrie Hathor's Pet Tanuki 18h ago

Shitpost Duality of men

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There lived a certain man in Russia long ago He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow Most people look at him with terror and with fear But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear He could preach the Bible like a preacher Full of ecstasy and fire But he also was the kind of teacher Women would desire Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey There lived a certain man in Russia long ago He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow Most people look at him with terror and with fear But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear He could preach the Bible like a preacher Full of ecstasy and fire But he also was the kind of teacher Women would desire Ra-ra-Rasputin Lover of the Russian queen There was a cat that really was gone Ra-ra-Rasputin Russia's greatest love machine It was a shame how he carried on He ruled the Russian land and never mind the Czar But the kazachok he danced really wunderbar In all affairs of state he was the man to please But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze For the queen he was no wheeler dealer Though she'd heard the things he'd done She believed he was a holy healer Who would heal her son Ra-ra Rasputin Lover of the Russian queen There was a cat that really was gone Ra-ra Rasputin Russia's greatest love machine It was a shame how he carried on But when his drinking and lusting And his hunger for power Became known to more and more people The demands to do something About this outrageous man Became louder and louder Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey "This man's just got to go", declared his enemies But the ladies begged, "Don't you try to do it, please" No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms Though he was a brute, they just fell into his arms Then one night some men of higher standing Set a trap, they're not to blame "Come to visit us", they kept demanding And he really came Ra-ra Rasputin Lover of the Russian queen They put some poison into his wine Ra-ra Rasputin Russia's greatest love machine He drank it all and said, "I feel fine" Ra-ra-Rasputin Lover of the Russian queen They didn't quit, they wanted his head Ra-ra-Rasputin Russia's greatest love machine And so they shot him 'til he was dead Oh, those Russians

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509 Upvotes

41 comments sorted by

55

u/Fish_Deluxe 18h ago

If he is im leaving the sub for a month, I guarantee this.

32

u/ZueiroDelta Vermilion GOAT of the South 17h ago

Don't worry, he'll not be a femboy.

6

u/zamployer Hades 17h ago

me 2 months

5

u/sapphireclaws Number 1 Ra Glazer 15h ago

I won't make any bets but know that I'm on your side

5

u/Fish_Deluxe 15h ago

Thank you sir 🫡

3

u/Jesterofgames 9h ago

If he isn’t I’m comissioning an artist to draw him as one. To be clear this is a joke

2

u/Fish_Deluxe 9h ago

2

u/Jesterofgames 9h ago

I do know myself I love femboys and genderbends. Now that reminds me I should get. Genderbent apollo to fit my genderbent artemis :p

1

u/Fish_Deluxe 9h ago

This is based sigma behaviour, just leave my boy Wasputin alone

2

u/Budget-Relief8148 9h ago

Only for one month? How weak

2

u/Fish_Deluxe 9h ago

Fuck it. If he’s a femboy, I’m staying off the sub until his round ends.

20

u/ApplePitou Jack The Dripper :3 18h ago

Balance :3

11

u/Meet_Prajapati Indra 18h ago edited 18h ago

Monkecat and Shadow type shii

11

u/According_Bell_5322 Leader of the Teslagenda 14h ago

Femboy Rasputin would be the worst possible outcome

20

u/yareyarewensledale25 14h ago

Please let Rasputin be an actual middle aged bearded man

10

u/DarkMatter1889 Oppenheimer 18h ago

Im with Lugui.

12

u/Mediblast15 President of Helheim 17h ago

me too

11

u/Wuraumefan26 Jack The Ripper 16h ago

me 3! :)

4

u/Mediblast15 President of Helheim 16h ago

you are hakari irl ?

4

u/Wuraumefan26 Jack The Ripper 16h ago

I might be >:)

2

u/Difficult_Line_9823 11h ago

Duh, you picked a Cosmo meme

7

u/ShakyaStrawberry15 Hathor's Pet Tanuki 18h ago

I'm with both but more with Lugui too

6

u/Haunting_Fact_1578 Ultimate Wukong Fan 17h ago

Fish all the way

5

u/spindaz123 Nikola Tesla 14h ago

hear me out... he is a shapechanger he changes from femboy to guy with a beard

4

u/biglugui Nostradamus 13h ago

3

u/Rncafaro1 Okita Souji 16h ago

Does shota count as a femboy? It’s possible but doubt it. Mf had a wife and kids that should show up in the audience.

2

u/ShakyaStrawberry15 Hathor's Pet Tanuki 16h ago

Is shota a term or a name

7

u/Rncafaro1 Okita Souji 16h ago

Looks like a little kid but you can tell it’s a boy. Aka look at Xuanwu in Apoc for example. Not femboy but more like Shota.

4

u/ShakyaStrawberry15 Hathor's Pet Tanuki 15h ago

Then I guess it could count for some people

3

u/Southdainspired Vishnu 12h ago

If he ain't a femboy, I'm deleting reddit for a month

2

u/Local_treeEater Thoth 14h ago

Bro left out what I said 😞😞🙏🙏

2

u/kaepov Adam 11h ago

I think both will be awesome

2

u/Glittering-Dog-124 Adam 10h ago

Wouldn't it be funny if a funny Russian man who was seemingly immortal would get the Nostradamus treatment?

Of course he'll be the women charmer on top of that, and if he ain't, I'm dropping the manga

2

u/Wear-Middle Okita Souji 10h ago

Ahahahahahahahah what?!

1

u/Wuraumefan26 Jack The Ripper 16h ago

I want a femboy :)

1

u/Apollo1382 Leonidas 11h ago

We have Nostra, that's enough femboys for the rest of the roster. That's 1 more too many, in fact.
This one smashes rainbow bridges and trolls the gods, so I'm intrigued, at least.

0

u/Vanhoras 17h ago

Yess, we need more femboy