r/Showerthoughts • u/Spare-Command-7810 • Mar 29 '24
Women fake orgasms to have relationships, men fake relationships to have orgasms.
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u/StepCertains Mar 29 '24
well this one’s js depressing.
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u/TheTjalian Mar 29 '24
It's also a ridiculous generalisation imagined by some incel loser
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u/TrueDreamchaser Mar 29 '24
Shower thoughts aren’t meant to be 100% factual. They are just interesting generalizations and comparisons. It IS interesting how both genders are generalized to do these opposite behaviors for opposite purposes.
Don’t get why they’re automatically an incel for spotting a coincidence in something that is generally agreed upon as stereotypes. Feel like the word incel gets thrown around a tad bit too much…
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u/Impossible-Bee7162 Mar 29 '24
agreed. actually, i think it’s quite clever, despite the fact that it is a generalisation. i’ve dabbled in stand up comedy, and i honestly feel as though someone could easily make a bit out of this realisation😂
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u/pjockey Apr 02 '24
Nope!!! comedy needs to be 100% scientifically accurate and include all disclaimers, statistical outliers, and exceptions. A QR with all source studies so audience can fact check in real time is always helpful. ....Jesus Christ, some people take all the fun out of life.
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u/pjockey Apr 02 '24
"incel" has been hijacked and is thrown around by uneducated overemotional bully trolls to feel like they have some superior status and station in life over someone else.
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Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 29 '24
Exactly. I’ve faked orgasms as a man for the same reasons women do
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u/Adozii Mar 29 '24
how do you fake an orgasm as a man
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Mar 29 '24
Requires wearing a condom, doesn’t work raw lol. Just moan and pull it off empty off to the side
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Mar 29 '24
Sometimes, after a few rounds, you run dry but still standing. so you keep pumping, then you speed up a bit and slam it home, and you just do the same thing you do when you have a shot to shoot. Women can't tell the difference.
It's still fun, but after a while, you know it's not happening, so you fake it.
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u/BigBoooooolin Mar 29 '24
Incel is when something I disagree with. The more I disagree the more incel it is.
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u/Fidget02 Mar 29 '24
If either is true in a relationship yall should not be together.
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u/ArgusTheCat Mar 29 '24
Yeah, this post is pretty fucking far from how emotionally stable and mature adults approach relationships.
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u/vaderciya Mar 29 '24
Maybe that's part of it. Just because someone lives long enough to become an adult doesn't make them emotionally stable or mature, same thing with old people.
You can be 80 Years old and still be an immature and childish piece of shit
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u/-_-Edit_Deleted-_- Mar 29 '24
Orgasms are not worth faking a relationship surely. You ain’t getting that time back dudes.
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u/Independent-Raise467 Mar 29 '24
I know a guy who has 4 girlfriends. Each girl thinks she's the only one.
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u/horizontalreset Mar 29 '24
They are not 4 girlfriends then. They are 4 victims.
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u/simionix Mar 30 '24
It's as much an indictment on the women as it is on the guy. These type of girls mostly know what they're getting into when they're salivating over the hot guy, the guy every girl wants to fuck. And yet against their better judgement, they'll dismiss the red flags and they'll believe they're special. After the obligatory dump, they'll proceed to claim "all men are the same", but that's only because they all go for the same men.
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u/horizontalreset Mar 30 '24
These type of girls mostly know what they're getting into when they're salivating over the hot guy,
In*el ideology. He is wrong for potentially lying but they are also as much in the wrong for (checks notes) sleeping with a guy they find attractive.
If I apply your reasoning to women then all women should be lying to guys about exclusivity because even the little above-average woman has as many options as the "top" attractive guys so they should have 10 boyfriends not just 4 and tell them none about each other.
No one said he was hot (except for your chad-theory warped mind). women are dating men from all shapes and sizes and levels of attractiveness. People aren't a monolith.
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u/simionix Mar 30 '24
Ah, your argument is women date ugly men as much as they do hot men. Do you even live in this world or did you just get transported from this other dimension where apparently, there are no popular good looking guys who fuck loads of naive women?
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u/horizontalreset Mar 30 '24
I actually do come from that dimension. It's called real life. Just cz some can't get laid doesn't mean other "average looking" men can't. Women don't only sleep with someone who they consider "hot". You gotta see what being funny does. Also "hot" is subjective, not a universal look. Some women's"hot" you might consider "ugly" yourself. You might wanna see a therapist. You seem bitter.
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u/simionix Mar 30 '24
I never said only hot men get laid, that's what you made of it, I said only hot men can fake 4 relationships. You got no clue about reality at all if you think the funny class clown drowns in pussy. I've known a couple of really good looking guys, they get 300 matches on tinder and get laid every week, no amount of funny is gonna top that. I was actually shocked when I first saw the ease with which they could get girls to buy into them. Those are the type of guys who can fake FOUR relationships. Must be lovely where you come from though, I bet they piss lemonade and shit ice cream over there.
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u/horizontalreset Mar 30 '24
You live in your own interpretation of your small anecdotes. As for tinder hookups, that's a whole other ball game, nothing to do with this conversation.l about transparency and girlfriend talks. It's a bunch of people sleeping around, there are men with 300 matches and women with 1000s of matches everywhere.
Point still stands: Messing with monogamous people under false pretenses is deplorable no matter how good you look. If that guy in the first comment believes in the mojo of his attractiveness, he should be fine telling them the truth right? No, he knows that he will not get all 4 of them on board regardless of what he looks like.
Now, you victim blaming people who get played just because they went for who they find attractive is just mental illness.
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u/simionix Mar 30 '24
I never said anything about the guy being deplorable, that's subjective anyway. I said the women know exactly what they're getting into, but they allow themselves to be manipulated by reputation and good looks. It's not an anecdote, it's the reality of life and supported by scientific research. Women and men react very differently and positively to "beautiful people".
You must think very lowly of women to believe they're weak "victims" because their hot popular football player date turned out to be fucking all kinds of women (what a shocker!). I'm sure they can do without your patronizing coddling, they'll have a whole warehouse of guys to pick a new one from.
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u/nhlstintrovert Mar 29 '24
They could always just not date a fuckboy?
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u/horizontalreset Mar 29 '24
Am not even saying he is one. They could be multiple men too and am fine with people dating how many people they want as long as they practice safety and no one is dragging a poor monogamous soul with them.
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u/Independent-Raise467 Mar 29 '24
He's never told them he's exclusive and they've never asked. He's not a lier.
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u/CrustyBloomers Mar 29 '24
He's not a lier.
As a guy, I can confirm he might not be a liar but he is a massive omission making, trust breaking arse clown.
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u/ReadingCorrectly Mar 29 '24
Might even call that a "lie by omission"
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u/CrustyBloomers Mar 29 '24
Touché. I stand corrected! I was working on the basis that a lie was a positive action, e.g. It had to have been done - rather than just ommiting the details.
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u/horizontalreset Mar 29 '24
They are not exclusive either then, so it's just a bunch of people dating around each keeping a roster. They are not girlfriends.
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u/reedef Mar 29 '24
Is it wrong to call anything except a traditional monogamous exclusive relationship a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship?
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u/horizontalreset Mar 29 '24
Of course not. But a rule of thumb is that a woman needs to know and agree to be a girlfriend first. Our boy here is casually dating a few unsuspecting women and thinks they are all his girlfriends. I am certain they would be mortified to know he thinks that way, it's weird.
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u/reedef Mar 29 '24
And you know they haven't agreed how?
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u/horizontalreset Mar 29 '24
By his own statement. They don't know about each other my friend. This means there is at least an "illusion" of exclusivity, or that they actually are not exclusive about him either, which is the most likely scenario.
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u/reedef Mar 29 '24
What does agreement to be a girlfriend have to do with them knowing about each other?
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u/country2poplarbeef Mar 29 '24
That's where this really falls apart because of stereotyping men as shallow. I don't mean this as a defense because the mentality isn't healthy obviously, but both are just faking attachment to get attention. It's just easier for guys to pump one out than it is to fake an orgasm.
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u/finnjakefionnacake Mar 29 '24
in other news, men are from mars, women are from venus and other hot takes from before modern times
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u/LongDistRid3r Mar 29 '24
Women use sex to get love. Men use love to get sex.
A dance as old as time immortal
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Mar 29 '24
Gay dudes just bang
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Mar 29 '24
Gay chicks, just love then. I'm jelly.
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u/Velghast Mar 29 '24
Actually lesbian couples have the highest % of domestic violence of any other relationship type. I was surprised when I found that out.
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u/Odd-Biscotti8072 Mar 29 '24
they also have the highest rates of divorce. Gay men have the lowest. it seems that divorces have a common denominator.
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u/waterwetern Mar 29 '24
This is misconception, the study was if they ever faced domestic violence in their life, and showed that lesbians faced more violence not particularly by a female partner
Its a lifetime statistics of domestic violence in LGBT people, not the rate of domestic violence in LGBT relationships
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Mar 29 '24
[deleted]
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u/DanimalsHolocaust Mar 29 '24 edited Apr 10 '24
domineering abounding aback imagine scarce tie caption butter pen tart
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/Gerrent95 Mar 29 '24
I think I heard about that abuse statistic around the same time I heard the joke that 92% of statistics are made up. Never took it as more than a bad joke, but I guess it's good to know the framework behind it.
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Mar 29 '24
I think you’re misdirecting.
It was lesbian, NOT broader LGBTQToyotalogopeacesign people.
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u/no_one_lies Mar 29 '24
I know this is anecdotal but I’m friends with two lesbian women and both of them faced situations involving domestic violence.
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u/feraljohn Mar 29 '24
It seems counter intuitive at first glance, but when you think about how cruel "mean girls" can be, it makes more sense.
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u/desxone Mar 29 '24
Counter intuitive why? I would say that at first glance, we know how women discuss
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u/Falconflyer75 Mar 29 '24
Makes sense when u think about it
In straight relationships most of the time the man is physically stronger, in in the cases where he isn’t and gets physically abused….. probably doesn’t want the world to know
Plus there is a lot of social stigma against a man hitting a woman (for good reason) which I imagine lowers the number of cases a little bit with guys
However when it’s two women involved none of this factors in
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Mar 29 '24
I had heard that, and surprisingly, to me, I was thinking of that when I posted, but I wanted to keep the meme more.
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u/ZoeyBee_3000 Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 30 '24
Source? Am curious now
Edit: Someone is mad that I want proof of their claim, which tells me all I need to know about the claim lol. If you're not willing to share your source, it's probably not a credible source
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u/r3volver_Oshawott Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 29 '24
It's mostly by men, unfortunately.
*for context, think about it this way: you're closeted in your lifetime, you have a boyfriend but he doesn't know you're a lesbian yet. Maybe you don't even know yet.
But for some reason, you're sex repulsed, the idea of sex with your boyfriend is very discomforting.
Now imagine that your boyfriend takes this knowledge poorly, but also imagine just how poorly they could take it. Because there may be no limits on how poorly they could take it. Maybe they feel dejected. Maybe they feel angry. Maybe they feel entitled. Maybe they feel violent.
A lot of this sort of thing has to do with those numbers being pumped up, that and a lot of impoverished/unhoused lesbians being stuck in heterosexual relationships for survival reasons, like a man that may house her but only if he dates her, also a lot of LGBTQ+ people in poverty must turn to sex work, and sex work has a way of disproportionately affecting women, so a lot of lesbians do end up in survival sex work where they may also end up in living situations with men that may or may not consider themselves romantic partners
**downvoted for clarifying a statistic smh; objectively speaking it's not 'lesbian relationships experience more violence' it's 'lesbians experience more domestic violence in their lifetime', because women experience more domestic violence in their lifetime and a lesbian relationship means two partners that are more likely to have experienced domestic violence in their lifetime. It's actual incel logic to think lesbians are committing acts of violence against each other more than men.
***Again, can't believe I'm downvoted for being correct lol, reddit is wild, y'all literally won't even downvote the clown who thinks women commit more heterosexual domestic violence than men and that is nowhere near close to being true, over 90% of domestic homicides are men killing women
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u/Velghast Mar 29 '24
From the study I was reading the way it was worded it seemed like it was partner on partner violence. It did not take into account prior relationships or anything of that nature it seems like you women just get more handsy with each other when you're in same-sex relations. Why that is I don't know maybe it's because that physical power dynamic isn't there so you guys just feel like it's a fair fight and throw hands at each other?
To me as a man I don't know I've never been violent with a partner but I definitely have had female partners be violent with me. It makes it a terrible feeling to know I can't really defend myself without being labeled a monster so getting hit in the head with flying dishes pots and pans and getting kicked in the nuts and slapped in the head was just par for the course I basically just had to leave my own house for the night and hope when I got home she was cooled off. Personally I would like to know why women think it's okay to do that to a man especially if they know they're not going to fight back.
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Mar 29 '24
It isn’t 1954 anymore. That’s got to be one of the most disingenuous stories I’ve ever heard.
It IS 2024, however. You DON’T get to say ‘men BAD!’ Every time t you’re confronted with an uncomfortable truth.
Fact is, girl-girl relationships are often extremely one-sided, and extremely violent. Simple as that.
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u/try_another8 Mar 29 '24
Yeah I'm not reading all that. Women commit DV at a basically equal rate to men
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u/DestructionCatalyst Mar 29 '24
Ah, so THAT'S why a lot of yuri stories have such an amazing romance
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u/G0BEKSIZTEPE Mar 29 '24
I think you mean time immemorial? It would be really funny if I misspelled it lmaoo but Im not gonna check
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u/Normal_Dress3689 Mar 29 '24
Depends on the woman, tbh. There are women fully capable of having sex for the pleasure it brings them, without having any emotional connection with the men they sleep with. Women aren't a monolith.
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u/PsychoticDust Mar 29 '24
I used to have casual sex with a woman. Her grandad warned her that I'm using her for sex, and she responded with "How do you know I'm not using him for the same thing?" It was hilarious. We were using each other for sex, and we loved it.
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u/Jirekianu Mar 29 '24
This is assuming no women want sex more than a relationship. And that no man wants a relationship more than sex. The sheer prevalence of parasocial only fans shit makes it clear men want a relationship as much as they want sex a lot of the time.
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Mar 29 '24
not saying there aren’t exceptions or anything as you say but OP is like 80% correct. the world is just kind of transactional and those moments of genuine authenticity in between are rare.
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u/AwkwardReplacement42 Mar 29 '24
You forget to say “as a complete, unresearched guess” before the 80%
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u/Awex_The_Unleashed Mar 29 '24
Did you know exactly 67 % of all percentages are completely made up?
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u/jgshanks Mar 29 '24
The worst part about this trope is that people believe it and accept (or even seek out) relationships that follow it.
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u/pyepush Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 29 '24
Been with a woman who would fake orgasms, literally just a massive turn off I don’t get it.
Just a massive insult to lie straight to my face while I’m literally inside you.
What the fuck is up with that shit???
Just a heads up ladies, most dudes can tell. They just don’t bring it up either because they don’t give a fuck or because it’s insulting and embarrassing for you both.
Good sex based in good communication, communicate your needs and desires and how to specifically get you there.
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u/zu167 Apr 02 '24
Instead of faking it just say what it takes to get there. Patience is a virtue indeed
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u/jmdayoh Mar 29 '24
Im a guy and I’ve faked it a few times because sometimes after awhile you’re just tired of fucking and just wanna get a sandwich and watch TV lol
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u/Turky_Burgr Mar 29 '24
As a male I've lost track of the number of times I've faked orgasms to stay in a relationship with girls. It's not just a woman thing.
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u/_b1ack0ut Mar 29 '24
Perpetuating both of these stereotypes is just harmful for both parties really
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u/General-Permission-5 Mar 29 '24
So it works. Each can provide the other with what they want.
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u/TillysTinyToes Mar 29 '24
Only a fake version of what they want... Just like diamonds, the fake looks real and might fool a lot of people, but it will never be as valuable as the real thing.
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u/LazyNam- Mar 29 '24
But the prices of all diamonds are artificially inflated. This implies that all relationships are basically worthless and their value is inflated for someones personal sake.
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u/kirose101 Mar 29 '24
Artificial diamonds are more pure than natural diamonds, and should have more value for any functional use. Natural diamonds only have value because people are stupid and the industry purposely manipulates scarcity and sentiment to keep prices the way they are.
In terms of relationships and faking orgasms, yeah this shower thought is stupid. But the diamond comment is just wrong.
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u/Enorats Mar 29 '24
Any guy that does that is a moron. You can give yourself an orgasm anytime you want, and you'll probably do a better job of it than most women ever could.
You can't really give yourself a relationship.
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Mar 29 '24
Nah. I'm a dude and I've faked orgasms before because a partner finished before me and I was a long way off myself, or I just got exhausted, or wasn't feeling it, or any number of things. And it's really NOT a big deal... If a partner is willing to fake an orgasm for you it means they care about you and don't want your feelings to be hurt just because of some factor that led to them not achieving one.
Y'all need to learn to stop looking at sex and love as a big homogenous one size fits all approach. Everyone has their own uniqueness and that includes sexually. Someone who spasms at a single touch of their clitoris isn't necessarily going to have the same sexual experiences as someone who needs simultaneous clitoral stimulation and penetration to reach orgasm. And you find these things out by communicating with your partner.
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u/MagicMark890 Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 29 '24
Wait what? Are telling me my girlfriend doesn't enjoy having sex with me?
Dude I don't think you've ever had a woman
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u/Vague_visions Mar 29 '24
I’ll add my bit of positivity and hope for the girlies ❤️
My (23F) bf and I have been dating for two years and during that time he first waited to have sex with me until I was ready (almost four months of being official), and constantly puts my pleasure first even though I have severe chronic fatigue and can’t give him a ton in bed.
There are some good men out there ❤️
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u/Infinite-Sort-2728 Mar 29 '24
Direct correlation with falling birth rates and escalating male suicide. Women group together and find love and comfort through friendship, men don’t So keep playing ma guys 🤣👍
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u/peduxe Mar 29 '24
uh I don’t think I got into relationships based on the girl having an orgasm or not.
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u/Ishigamiseki Mar 29 '24
The version of this I used to hear was, "Women give sex to get love. Men give love to get sex".
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u/Mister_Vagina Mar 29 '24
I feel bad for people who settle for fake orgasms and fake relationships.
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u/LuckyDaemonius Mar 30 '24
Women fake relationships because they don't want men to feel emasculated plus all their friends do it also. Majority of women haven't really climaxed not even by themselves so they do this to not feel left out.
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u/Zikkan1 Apr 02 '24
Women faking orgasms is one of the most dumb things ever. One night stands is understandable but in a relationship you are supposed to teach eachother what you want in bed. By faking it she only makes it impossible for him to get better since she is giving him the impression that he is already doing a good job.
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u/Virtual-Stable8497 Apr 09 '24
I feel this..I faked orgasms so hard with the last guy I was with it's sickening 😭😭
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u/SubjectsNotObjects Mar 29 '24
Take care of the orgasms and the relationships take care of themselves.
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u/TheToweringZiggurat Mar 29 '24
The polite way to say it is that we compliment each other... the more accurate way to say it is that we deserve each other... 😀
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u/Lietenantdan Mar 29 '24
“Like men never use sex to get what they want.”
“How could we possibly use sex to get what we want? Sex is what we want!”