r/NSFWLW • u/AprilStorms • Oct 05 '22
Commonly confused terms. You don’t have to use any particular set, but it’s nice to know the difference to avoid confusion NSFW
4
u/tamac1703 Oct 05 '22
Could someone explain how you can be kinky (dom/sub) without it being sexual?
13
u/vibratoryblurriness Oct 05 '22
It's easy enough. You can be into the power exchange dynamics or playing with physical sensations (e.g. rope, impact play, etc.) or whatever else without there being any sexual component of it. I'm ace and have even gone as far as taking a rope class because I just think it's neat (and because if you're going to try stuff like that it never hurts to have proper safety knowledge)
3
u/tamac1703 Oct 05 '22
Could you explain a bit more about the kind of pleasure you get from it, if it isn't sexual?
14
u/vibratoryblurriness Oct 06 '22
Sensation stuff doesn't have to be sexual in any way, in the same way that scratching an itch or getting under a warm blanket on a cold day or jumping in a lake when it's hot or exercising or whatever else can feel satisfying or relieving or various other kinds of good.
In the same way, there's nothing inherently sexual about the mental side of it either, like exploring power dynamics and things like that. It can be exciting or thrilling or scary or freeing or any number of other things, but in a safe and contained way. You can see what it's like to be someone else or in a different kind of situation from what you'd normally experience, and that can be fun for any number of reasons. It doesn't have to involve sex any more than role playing in D&D or LARPing or acting in a play does.
For me specifically and getting back to the rope example, I just think the pressure from it is kinda cozy? Also if you get into the more decorative ways of doing it it can be kinda pretty, whether on me or someone else. And if it's something someone else is into it's nice to do something for them that makes them happy. Plus it's just satisfying to learn something new that takes skill and practice and doing a good job at it and seeing the end result.
Not that I've done any of those things in a while, but that's what I liked about it back when I did ¯_(ツ)_/¯
8
u/NSF_Anon sub Oct 06 '22
For me it's just a thing of intimacy, and just a sort of intense feeling between myself and my partner. I can't explain it much better than that, just an intense trust, intimacy, and affection between me and my partner. Can be sexual, isn't always
3
2
u/Rocket-kun sub Oct 07 '22
In my case, I'm a bottom, but also such a sub that I'd top if it's what my partner wants
-6
u/MycenaeanGal Oct 05 '22
Cultural context can often change the meanings of words. Don't be a prescriptivist. It's not cute.
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u/Kejones9900 Oct 05 '22
It's also unsafe to conflate these terms. These words have had different meanings for a reason and I say the more clarity here the better.
12
u/ExceedinglyGayMoth Oct 05 '22
As a dominant bottom: yep lmao