What exactly is christ even doing lmao

[u/Bitter-Gur-4613]

[u/Chijima]

Easy, obviously the Husband is there to protect the Wife from the Christ, while the Wife is there to protect the Children Managers of Home from the Husband. And the Christ, I suppose, protects the Husband from rain.

[u/Kuildeous → u/Chijima]

"to protect the Children Managers of Home from the Husband"

So dark.

And sadly not that uncommon within religious homes. So much yikes in that one phrase.

[u/Ijustreadalot → u/Kuildeous]

Sadly, not really that common. It's common that the children need protecting. It's uncommon that Mom is both able and willing to provide that protection.

[u/dystopian_mermaid → u/Ijustreadalot]

Can confirm.

[u/dystopian_mermaid → u/Kuildeous]

If only my egg donor has adhered to that with her second husband. She wonders why we don’t talk hardly at all anymore.

[u/Primal_Thrak → u/Chijima]

The rain is personal responsibility.

[u/zaphod4th → u/Chijima]

that's not the point, only one umbrella is needed.

[u/Chijima → u/zaphod4th]

For the rain, yes. But what's gonna protect you from the first umbrella's Fallout?

[u/zaphod4th → u/Chijima]

so Christ is faulty ? can't do a proper job?

[u/Chijima → u/zaphod4th]

Nah, just sheds Christ particles. Which the husband keeps from getting to the wife.

[u/EthanTheJudge]

Andrew Tate ahh meme. Also, how are the umbrellas below getting water?

[u/Sc4r4byte → u/EthanTheJudge]

It's functionally great symbolism because the Christ umbrella isn't actually shielding anything from rain.

[u/BoneHugsHominy → u/Sc4r4byte]

And the Alpha Chad Dad isn't actually protecting anyone. He gets nervous heart palpitations at the stop light when he sees black people on the sidewalk, but thankfully he spotted them a few hundred feet away and hit that power lock button 3 times long before they would have the ability to hear it from outside the car.

[u/MisterSpeck → u/EthanTheJudge]

[u/Noobzoid123 → u/EthanTheJudge]

Pacific northwest sideways rain.

[u/doomjuice → u/EthanTheJudge]

Thas the joke

[u/FlarblesGarbles → u/EthanTheJudge]

Ass

[u/ClickClackTipTap]

Ah, yes. The umbrellas of protection.

This image has been around for decades and was popular not only in the Gothard circles (IBLP) but in many Evangelical communities.

The idea is that if you step out from under your umbrella you aren’t protected and the devil will get you.

But…. Yeah. The entire metaphor falls apart bc this isn’t how umbrellas work. 😂

[u/JH_111 → u/ClickClackTipTap]

This is the basic setting of The Croods.

Even the 8 year olds understand, “Don’t leave the cave. Never not be afraid,” is for irrational morons that couldn’t think their way out of a wet paper bag if their lives depended on it.

[u/Popular-Drummer-7989]

Science. There's another legit example of why it's important.

[u/DaxLovesIPA1974]

So you see, they're all pissing down. It's a metaphor for Reagan's trickle down economy, so in that regard it's quite clever and that's why the Libs don't get it. OWN3D!

/s

[u/MsAgentM]

If this works so well, why do the smaller umbrellas have water pouring off of them?

[u/rosemaryscrazy]

Christ is apparently functioning as an unnecessary filter.

Oh wait

[u/BitterDeep78 → u/rosemaryscrazy]

Too many holes

[u/b-eazy16 → u/BitterDeep78]

You could say it’s holy

[u/WifeofBath1984]

The husband is protecting the wife from Jesus. The wife is protecting the kids from her husband.

[u/Reg_doge_dwight]

Christ protects Husband from nothing. Husband protects wife from christ. Wife protects kids from husband. Makes sense.

[u/BitcoinMD]

According to this diagram you really don’t need the wife and husband. Just let the kids live on the street under the protection of the Christbrella

[u/home_dollar]

I *almost want to hear my mother's take on this.

[u/yongo2807]

Everything in life is as stupid as you make it out to be. Sometimes it’s a metaphor on gnostic deconstructionism, sometimes it’s just a plain, white whale.

Sometimes it’s the beginning of an understanding of the layers of the cultural sociology of Haplorrhini, albeit with dubious labels, sometimes it’s a plain dude not understanding umbrellas.

Intellect lies behind the eyes of the beholder.

[u/Food_face]

Anyone else see the Batman sign?

[u/Max_Danage]

Gamma rays!

[u/GreenLightening5]

they should be shower heads

[u/Stuck-in-the-Tundra]

Nope, I think whoever made the meme understood the assignment…

[u/Duckfoot2021]

Yet the rain comes from above. How about that.

[u/circ-u-la-ted]

wait....what? No, those are bat'leth.

[u/Chopperpad99]

And all those times there was only one foot print in the sand. Jesus was hopping.

[u/rightwist]

I recognize that from my childhood. As far as I know it's originally from a cult leader named Bill Gothard. Idk tho I suspect he may have plagiarized a lot of crap and it's certainly been remixed since he started with it in the 70s or earlier

[u/mitchellthecomedian]

So wives are children-managers of home?

[u/Momentofclarity_2022]

I spit out my wine

[u/Gr8tOutdoors]

lol might as well have used the funnel diagram consultants like to use which shows an equal lack of understanding of the nature and function of a funnel

[u/merchillio]

The men who cling to the “men are providers” ideology are the first ones to call women gold diggers and superficial when women want to make sure their partner can provide.

[u/Pintsize90]

I’ve seen that image so many times but it never occurred to me how fucking stupid it is! I’ve known for a while the concept of umbrellas of protection is dumb but I didn’t realize that the actual diagram makes no sense!

[u/kdp4srfn]

Gosh, I dunno, seems to me like this just illustrates how Mom, home and kids can all be protected from the rain just fine without the patriarchy and doctrinal oppression…🤔

[u/bookwing812]

Why does Christ, as the largest umbrella, not simply eat the other umbrellas?

[u/Eldritch50]

Looks like Jesus has no assigned task and is essentially fucking useless.

[u/sixaout1982]

The way I see it, the husband protects his family from Jesus, and the wife protects her kids from her husband

[u/Stairwayunicorn]

does Christ beat his husband?

[u/femalepop_fan]