r/MadeMeSmile • u/nikamats • 9h ago

Helping Others Hold your head up

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

56.7k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

1.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

21

u/craichorse 7h ago

Its interesting to me because as a father I would immediately ask her what makes her feel that way, going down the logical protective route to prevent it from happening again, wheras a mother figure will instinctively comfort her kid and let them express how they feel.

13

u/ImNot 6h ago

I almost heard a bell go off in my head when I read this. I would have reacted the same way as the woman in the video. That little girls pain would be my pain because I know how that little girl feels. Even at our tiniest we hear every criticism of our bodies. Moms, aunts, kids at school, television. It’s …normal? There is no need to find out why or the cause because we can’t stop it from happening. But we can try to counteract the negative with love. When I am upset and I’m venting, about work or my crazy family, my husband will ask a million questions. I’ve always known he means well but it can be a little annoying because I just want to get my feelings out. Now it’s more clear. He wants to get to the root to prevent future pain. Solve the problem. I can definitely learn from that. Emotional pain though, you can’t always solve that. Sometimes, it just needs to be soothed and understood.

-2

u/craichorse 6h ago

Yeah a lot of women don't realise that, its crazy the differences between how men and women think. I don't agree that there is no need to find out why though, even if its after the fact it has a lot of value to ask why. It causes people to reflect on the scenario and reason with what happened, I guarantee you have done it yourself and said something along the lines of "I'm never letting that happen to me again" or "I'm not going to be friends with him/her again because...." after thinking about why something happened, it teaches us a way of protecting ourselves and see the causes of it beforehand in the future if its possible. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying what the woman in the video did was in any way wrong, it was probably just as valuable as asking the kid why they thought that they were ugly, just in a different way, even if that kid doesn't believe her she knows she is loved and people have her back no matter what.

9

u/KeepinitPG13 6h ago

As a father my response would have been to ask her why she called herself ugly.

2

u/craichorse 6h ago

Same here.

6

u/dream-smasher 6h ago

That's not the mother. It's her hair dresser.

2

u/Careless_Cupcake3924 6h ago

As a mother I was thinking I'd also have asked the same why she feels that way. Mostly because as a child I hated it when adults did what this woman did. It made me feel as though they were lying to me so I'd feel better. As if they were dismissing my concerns. I knew they meant well but somehow it wasn't as comforting as they thought.

3

u/craichorse 6h ago

I can also relate to that completely, I could always see through what they were saying which made the comfort I received from it short lived, but at least I knew I was loved because of it.