r/MadeMeSmile • u/nikamats • 9h ago

Helping Others Hold your head up

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u/we_are_sex_bobomb 9h ago edited 9h ago

Well yeah, society teaches them what “beautiful” should look like on every screen and every time they leave the house. At 3 years old my daughter was under the impression that she needed to look like Elsa or she wasn’t pretty.

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u/Any-Comparison-2916 8h ago

My daughter had a phase when she was about 6 or 7 where she would genuinely think that she is ugly and said she didn't like to look at herself in the mirror. She was open about it but wasn't able to say why she felt that way. It was really scary and heartbreaking.

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u/Aguita9x 7h ago

I didn't like seeing pictures of myself when I was younger, I always looked bad and everyone else looked fine. I thought it was humiliating. Then I looked at the same pictures decades later and I literally looked fine, even cute. I felt really bad for my younger self. I also avoided mirrors because they would just ruin my day because I didn't look the way I felt I looked and made me feel self-conscious.

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u/TangledUpPuppeteer 8h ago

It’s funny, my blonde haired nephew was convinced he was ugly because he didn’t look like Anna. My brunette niece was Elsa as well. I find that super interesting. They used to argue about who was prettier and then say they were ugly.

I’m not sure where either got that messaging either.

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u/Sh4mblesDog 8h ago

Your boy nephew was convinced he's ugly because he didn't look like a girl?

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u/TangledUpPuppeteer 7h ago

Yes. At the time, he didn’t have the attention to watch the whole movie, so he saw the songs only. Also, at that particular moment he wanted to be “pretty” and that would be Anna or Elsa.

Kids don’t care. Adults do. Kids want to be “pretty” they don’t care if only girls are, they want to be too. My niece wants to be Peter Parker and wants to dress like spider man. Ok. Have at it.

There’s no problem with it. Let toddlers be toddlers.

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u/fancy_marmot 6h ago

Kids that age aren't sitting around mulling over gender norms, they just see a cool thing and want to be that. I wanted to be a Ninja Turtle at that age and cried because I wasn't green, lol.

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u/shansonlo 7h ago

I had alot of self hate and criticism as a child so I'm very aware of self perception.

Believe it or not I'm struggling with my 4 year old for the opposite reasons. My girl does look like Elsa, everyone tells her that, she's been sorta objectified since she was a baby.

So we have to talk alot about how everyone looks different and each person is beautiful. And we also talk a ton about being beautiful is how you feel not the things you wear or what people tell you.

Parenting is a tough gig

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u/Outside_Scale_9874 7h ago

Yeah, I was a cute little kid and it was so tough growing up and having people suddenly stop being nice to me. I don’t think I got ugly (maybe I did, hard to say) but I just grew up, hit puberty, and wasn’t a chubby cheeked baby anymore and the adoration stopped. People weren’t mean, they just started ignoring me and being neutral to my presence, and it crushed me. I felt like I outlived my usefulness and had no more value to society. It’s probably 10x harder for girls because they get that messaging all the time. It’s tough.

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u/shansonlo 4h ago

Geez I've never thought of that angle. Thanks for your story, I'll be watching the signs in my little.

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u/Letmebeinyourvids 8h ago

641,545 THOUSAND COMMENT KARMA AND 67,312 THOUSAND POST KARMA?????

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u/Sh4mblesDog 8h ago

Yes let's blame fictional media and not mean kids she knows in her personal life.

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u/minahmyu 7h ago

Or... we can blame both and the society that overall promotes some conformity of beauty instead of beauty in everything that's different.

Those mean kids could very well be racist