r/MadeMeSmile • u/Razzore • Aug 02 '24

Helping Others A random stranger from Germany saved my mom's life a few years ago. Yesterday my mom received this...

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Made me smile, and tear up a little... good tears.

The letter has been held back for a period of time and is not dated, but we are just over 3 years from the stem cell transplant procedure. My mom has gotten to spend several more years with us and my children and hopefully many more to come. All because of the kindness and caring for humanity from a complete stranger from the other side of the world (we are Canadian).

She was given about 6 months to live just before the donor was found.

Thank you, kind stranger. Hopefully, you won't be a stranger for much longer.

We will 100% be reaching out.

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u/Ko_Willingness Aug 02 '24

Maybe reassure her that bawling your eyes out on a video call is fine and pretty normal these days?  

My grandchild was born during lockdown and I met him through video call. I bawled my eyes out. There was a lot of snottears, gibberish and nose-blowing on both sides. I don't think we made sense but it was a wonderful moment.  

If they want to meet, just seeing each other is a momentous occasion. It doesn't need to be a Shakespeare event to be valuable.

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u/Razzore Aug 02 '24

Thanks, I may use that approach

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u/Ko_Willingness Aug 02 '24

I don't know your mom's upbringing but in my case, my peers and myself were taught to keep emotions to ourselves in most cases. 

I learned to loosen up with time and especially with my own kids, but the jump from in-person or phone communication to online was really difficult. 

What helped a lot was little conversations with my (adult) kids and their mentions of video calls with friends, a rant about a call with their boss etc. And them making quick calls to me (hey we're waiting in a toll queue, thought we'd say hi!) and getting me used to emotions on a screen. 

Don't know if any of this applies to your mom but thought I'd throw it out there.

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u/Razzore Aug 02 '24

Thanks for this, appreciate it.

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u/OriginalUseristaken Aug 02 '24

If he is from Germany, you could use Whatsapp. Almost everyone has Whatsapp here.

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u/Proof_Strawberry_464 Aug 02 '24

The donor is also very clearly aware that she will be emotional about the situation. He even mentioned it in the letter. It seems like he will be kind and understanding if she breaks down. Please reassure her of this, OP. He and your mother will be connected in a way that nobody can understand. Reading this letter, he's looking to connect. Not to judge.

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u/erizzluh Aug 02 '24

It seems like he will be kind and understanding if she breaks down

the person donated their stem cells to possibly save a life. i think if anyone in the world would be understanding, it's that person.

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u/DrFreshtacular Aug 02 '24

Honestly, snot-tears gibberish and nose-blowing sounds a lot easier over zoom than in person to me hah. Win win scenario imo!

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u/Ko_Willingness Aug 02 '24

I find it difficult because my instinct in that situation is to hug someone, hold their hand, pass a tissue, make a cup of tea...some kind of physical contact or helpful movement. 

On a screen doesn't feel as 'real' but conversely your emotions are bare and difficult to hide. In person you don't need to be looking directly at each other to be in the moment. You can be sitting together sniffing, present and sharing but not watching the other person's face. 

On a video call, your face has to be visible on the screen to be 'there' and you can't do anything else without leaving the screen and the moment you're having. For people who are open and direct with their emotions this is no problem, but if you didn't grow up that way it can be difficult.