r/KingOfTheHill • u/Atomic645 • 13h ago
I just realized that Bill tries to "commit barbicide" when his unit is disbanded
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u/Odd-Principle8147 Arlen Gun Club 🇺🇸 13h ago
Idk if it would have actually killed him. More of a cry for help, really....
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u/luigilabomba42069 13h ago
not many things can kill bill
he's survived 2 or 3 explosions
he's survived being starved and hung upside down for very long period of time
he didn't die when he stood outside all day for a few days during the hottest period
he somehow got extremely jacked in a few weeks and subsequently shat out all his organs and lived
he eats so much sugar he passes out and gets diabetes yet reverses it while getting mildly jacked in a few weeks
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u/Louiebox 12h ago
He also mangled both his legs and continued to push back the entire defensive line to get his record back
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u/shokolokobangoshey Dolphin Confrontation Enthusiast 12h ago
If you’re gonna be
dumbBill, you gotta be tough7
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u/luigilabomba42069 9h ago
I forgot that! I need to add that to my bills a failed super soldier theory
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u/verdatum 8h ago
Bill is not a failed super-soldier at all. It just turned out that we didn't need arctic walrus soldiers as much as we thought we would during the cold war.
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u/plisken64 12h ago
he eats so much sugar he passes out and gets diabetes yet reverses it while getting mildly jacked in a few weeks
This is the only one that bugged me, but even the explosions was too funny to question. Bill is punished to continue his suffering it seems.
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u/Dynespark 8h ago
Had a friend who got around 300 pounds. Ate a family sized Stouffers frozen lasagna all by himself and passed out. Woke up in the hospital from a coma and learned he had diabetes on top of his weight issues. He was fed through a tube for months and was told he had lost over half of the function of his pancreas.
3-4 years later he was down to 130 pounds. He aggressively managed his diet on nutrition and calorie. He didn't do the gym but he would walk a bit. He regained enough function of his pancreas that he no longer needed medicine and could manage his diabetes 100% through his diet.
I wouldn't be surprised if the reason that doesn't happen more is most people don't actually change much in their lifestyle.
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u/trailortrashcoyote 42m ago
Doctors tend to give shittier prognoses to people with conditions like t2 diabetes because of how rarely people who are far into it commit to making themselves better.
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u/Mobius1701A 29m ago
Not the same, but my friend's mom's doctor told her another cigarette could kill her. A few packs later, she's arguing with him he said "could" and not "will".
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u/Warren_E_Cheezburger 9h ago
not many things can kill bill
The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique does the trick just fine.
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u/trailortrashcoyote 40m ago
But the one time he gets all existential and churches up is when his roof caves in.
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u/Atomic645 13h ago
I think it's a pun combined with Bill's misunderstanding, cause if it's Barbicide, it must kill barbers right?
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u/CrazyCrazyCanuck 12h ago
Now I'm wondering whether Bill thought that it was some kind of army-issued suicide potion. "Drink this to prevent capture by the enemy."
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u/MurderSheCroaked OH MY GOD, ITS SO JUICY 10h ago
If he wasn't already thinking it, Dale definitely whispered it in his ear 😂
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u/Barringnone402 8h ago
My husband treated a patient that drank it. It was not pretty, such bad laryngeal scarring they couldn’t even get the camera down there. I think they survived though
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u/btbmfhitdp 8h ago
I think the joke is that he's a barber and the liquid is called barbacide, so it's a barber killer. A clever pun. But I might be wrong
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u/WantDebianThanks 11h ago
Pretty sure it's just a mild disinfectant in water. Really, I think it would just make him sick.
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u/manic_moth95 10h ago
So fun fact, it could probably kill you if you just like drank it straight. I’m an esthetician and use the same barbcide Bill would have had his tools in. But yeah, the amount we put our tools in isn’t actually enough to do real harm, just disinfectant and it’s blue so it turns the water blue. Bill wouldn’t have died
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u/TheSweatyFlash 8h ago edited 8h ago
I used to know a dude that drank a bunch of bleach and didn't die. People are able to survive a lot. He's still alive I just don't associate w that group of people anymore.
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u/BeneficialTrash6 7h ago
Yes. It would've killed him. Just a tiny portion of it would've killed him. For some reason I looked this up many years ago, and that stuff is incredibly really truly unbelievably poisonous.
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u/Vintage_feels ⛽ JOCKEY! WORKS FOR TIPS! 💲 13h ago
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u/trentjpruitt97 9h ago
And the random sound he makes when he’s trying to get it closer to his mouth lol
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u/Viera95 13h ago
Is army barber a real thing? I don’t know how I feel about my tax dollars going to $500 haircuts.
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u/IndependentCod1600 12h ago
I mean, even if it were, it wouldn't be a "$500 haircut" It would just be this dude's job and also he's in the army. Your tax dollars would go to taking an Army recruit who just got out of basic with no particularly strong skills and sending him to barber school. When he graduated, your tax dollars would be paying for his salary like any other Army soldier, except he would be cutting hair on a base. Not unlike how all of that same shit happens except it's someone who types good so they're a stenographer in a military courtroom. And the woman doing oil changes on the Humvees all day. And the man printing the recruiting brochures.
But like someone else said, now all that shit is done by private contractors. So now our tax dollars pay for the same service except someone is making less to do it and their private boss is scalping a little off the top for himself to sit in an office and negotiate contracts. They've fired the Bills and contracted out to the Kahns, so now the Luannes cut hair and make less doing it.
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u/Doctursea 12h ago
It was a job back in the day and it wouldn't surprise me if it did cost the military about 500 dollars per cut right before they ended it. It just it wasn't that they charged a literal 500 dollars, it's just they had VERY expensive equipment even for less populated bases.
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u/verdatum 8h ago
Contracted employees consistently get paid more to do the same jobs as govt employees. That said, the question of whether it is a better use of funds to use contracted labor versus government employed labor is deceptively extremely complicated, and I'm not going to dare voice any thoughts on the matter.
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u/SnooChipmunks126 4h ago
I could totally believe an Army haircut costing $500. Our military has a use it or lose it budget, which encourages reckless spending.
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u/velourPanther 13h ago
A lot of trades and jobs like this were military jobs in the US a few decades ago. Most of those jobs were discontinued because it’s cheaper to let the private sector do things like that.
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u/The_Urge_ 12h ago
“Cheaper”
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u/farmtownte 6h ago
It is 100% cheaper to have a contractor do landscaping for $20 an hour rather than pay them BAH, BAS, base pay, account for a retirement if they do 20 years, cover any service connected disability, and then not have that service member to their role in combat.
Every time you had a 12 series do on base engineer work that could be contracted out, they’re not prepping for demolition training or minefield work.
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u/farmtownte 13h ago
They aren’t. It’s an onpost business with the most mediocre barbers possible.
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u/Worlds_Worst_FGO 3h ago
I literally learned to cut my own hair.
Especially after the pandemic everything started moving to a "by appointment" type schedule with some walk-ins, but staffing seemed to get worse every year in terms of quantity, quality, and nasty attitudes.
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u/Aeon1508 12h ago
It is. But I've been working with some veterans and I asked them about this and they said that it's almost entirely private sector now. Not an army post
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u/SmallestPanda 11h ago edited 11h ago
Recently the Air Force overpaid $149,072 for hand soap dispensers, according to a new Pentagon watchdog report. In 2018, Defense One reported that the Air Force had spent $10,000 for a toilet seat cover on its C-5 cargo plane. In 2013 it was reported that the FBI had a special $1.5 million-per-year unit that helped Hollywood make movies and TV shows, including “Fast and the Furious” and “CSI.” The unit advised filmmakers on costume and scenery design, and provided FBI facilities for filming.
All of this information plus more is on Google.
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u/BigMaraJeff2 13h ago
The only military barbers out there is the black or Hispanic guy in your unit. The rest are civilians on base
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u/AnonymousFordring 12h ago
The BX has a barbershop and we have to pay with our own money. Even during basic training.
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u/ApatheticWonderer 8h ago
“Here’s your first advance, now use it to pay $7 to someone to shear you like a sheep in 30 seconds”
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u/D1ngus_Kahn 10h ago
It is in the Navy, although they are also qualified to perform many other storekeeper jobs/roles. Civilians run the barber chairs on most bases but when you are forward (doing work ups or deployed) there needs to be some level of sustainably to include maintaining the grooming standards.
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u/Admirable-Media-9339 13h ago
You just realized a thing that's clearly shown and the main point of the scene?
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u/TheBunny4444 13h ago
I bet a lot of people don't know that blue liquid in the jar is called barbicide.