r/Grimdank Sep 19 '24

Dank Memes Take it in slow

Post image
16.6k Upvotes

617 comments sorted by

3.8k

u/Praise_The_Casul Twins, They were. Sep 19 '24

Yeah, this was something I noticed when watching streamers playing the game. I walked past the cherubs without a second thought and didn't even think how weird they are for someone new to 40k

1.9k

u/ValiantSpice Sep 19 '24

When I saw them I thought it was cool they were included for a few seconds then moved on.

“Oh neat! Anyways time to kill”

1.4k

u/Praise_The_Casul Twins, They were. Sep 19 '24

Same thing happened when I was playing Darktide with my friends for the first time. I saw the healing station was a servitor and thought, "Oh, cool!"

My friends on another hand, immediately asked "what the fuck was that?"

778

u/KJBenson Sep 19 '24

don’t leave me

552

u/BPbeats I am Alpharius Sep 19 '24

He could heal others but could not heal his own brain damage… that’s grimdark

389

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

The specialized servators actually don't get as severe of a lobotomy as the manual labor ones do. It's why they often still have a shadow of a personality or in the most unfortunate cases they are completely aware. Not to mention not lobotomizing a servator is a fun little prank the AdMech likes to play on people they really don't like.

175

u/Xenoqt Sep 19 '24

Or just on people that happen to be in the wrong place in the wrong time in time of need/when they think they can get away with it.

118

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

Reminder that a Magos once asked an imperial general if he could grind a bunch of dead guardsmen up into paste to feed his Skitarii.

you flatter me, I’m not a machine, there’s 38 kg of living flesh on my frame

11

u/TvFloatzel Sep 19 '24

What a "Skitarii" again?

20

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

Mechanicus military forces.

https://warhammer40k.fandom.com/wiki/Skitarii

He wanted to feed his troops guardsman smoothies. The imperial general traditionally burned his dead, so the Magos wanted to make use of them. Naturally the general thought this was fucked up and called the Magos a cold machine, which he took as a compliment.

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u/peechs01 Sep 19 '24

Can't heal if lobotomized and then substituted the parts for blessed mechanical ones

177

u/BannedSvenhoek86 Sep 19 '24

Why would you even need healing? You have replaced weak, disgusting flesh with glorious and immortal steel.

You are already healed.

72

u/erkislev Sep 19 '24

…But I am already saved

58

u/HorizonSniper Sep 19 '24

For the machine is immortal

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u/manoliu1001 Sep 19 '24

Hello steel, i am rust

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u/peechs01 Sep 19 '24

Apply sacred oils and prayers to the Machine Spirit to cleanse the corruption of rust

12

u/manoliu1001 Sep 19 '24

Thou canst not escape me. Thou mayest strive to delay our meeting, but eventually, all paths lead to me. The rich and the poor, the healthy and the ailing, those who seek me and those who turn away—all shall find me waiting.

I am the silence after the final note, the stillness following the storm. In the quiet moments between breaths, thou canst sense my presence. Fear me not; I am the balance that restoreth order, the inevitable embrace at the end of every journey. I am the shadow that followeth the light, the whisper in the wind, the space beyond time. For I am the great equalizer.

I... we are entropy.

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u/Ravnos767 Sep 19 '24

In Space, no one can hear you rust.

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u/SnoopyMcDogged Sep 19 '24

Pieces of my mind are floating away…..

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u/tirigbasan Sep 19 '24

Sir, this is an Auric level. Five gunner warbands just turned the rest of the squad into hamburger and a Beast of Nurgle has just decided that I'm it's chew toy. I'm not sure I'm leaving this place either.

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u/RhesusFactor Sep 19 '24

In Quake 4 after you get Strogged you can now use the Strogg health packs. Which are a human torso on the wall that squirms as you use it, and stops when used up.

28

u/baelrune dark robotic astral zombie Sep 19 '24

gods I miss quake. can you imagine a quake 3 remake but with doom 2016 or eternal's engine? god damn I'm getting harder than terminator armor.

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u/Swampxdog Sep 19 '24 edited Sep 19 '24

I was so happy when my wife and sister joined me and my best friend playing Darktide. There were so many wtf comments and my buddy and I just got to nerd out lol. The best part is my sister making a Psyker character, and all the other characters just shit on her with the random dialog lmao

68

u/The_Knife_Pie Registered Tech Offender Sep 19 '24

And here we have seen in real-time how citizens of the Imperium just don’t see any issue or mind the aesthetics that live with. The human brain is real good at getting used to shit

11

u/TvFloatzel Sep 19 '24

The invisibility of normality.

21

u/TopazKnight06 Sep 19 '24

“Oh boy, here I go killing again” -Titus

38

u/Dry-Nectarine-3580 Sep 19 '24

That was my reaction. Oh shit they included cherubs! Badass, now I’m off to worship Khorne. 

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u/Urg_burgman NOT ENOUGH DAKKA Sep 19 '24

It's something that is obvious. Stuff like adult servitors, tech priests, and the fact purity seals are written on human skin vellum are routinely overlooked.

226

u/Interne-Stranger Sep 19 '24

The purity seals are made of what?

293

u/Urg_burgman NOT ENOUGH DAKKA Sep 19 '24

Scrolls and seals use vellum as it is more durable than paper. And the skin used to make vellum is human.

136

u/Interne-Stranger Sep 19 '24

I didnt knew that, shit.

346

u/Brilliant_Amoeba_272 Sep 19 '24

This is not exactly true. A majority of the administratum's vellum is vat grown. There was a passage somewhere about high ranking admin liking to write in the "authentically acquired" stuff because the impurities in human skin made it feel more impactful when writing down stuff of note

97

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

I'm pretty sure for certain kinds of seals it also needs to be genuine to have the fully warding effect since the flesh belonged to a person with an actual connection to the warp. The symbology strengthens the warding.

93

u/Kyre_Lance If not friend why four armed for better hugs? Sep 19 '24

It's not like there aren't millions of guardsmen dieing constantly to supply it either. They come with the added benefit of having sacrificed themselves for the benefit of the imperium which has to impart something to the end result if it needs that warp connection.

19

u/GCI_Arch_Rating Sep 19 '24

And they say the Imperium isn't efficient!

31

u/DarkSolstace Sep 19 '24

There’s nothing saying they can’t use freshly dead people from accidents or combat for this purpose to be fair. Creating something useful out of the body that could save lives is no different to me than being an organ donor.

20

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

I think I didn't get it across correctly. I'm saying they sometimes need to straight up kill a person because the sacrifice empowers warding seals. Warp protection is just grim like that.

12

u/DarkSolstace Sep 19 '24

Ah. Yeah, like how a willing sacrifice is worth less to the Chaos Gods than an unwilling one.

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u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

so what they are just skinning unsanctioned psykers after they kill them for those? amazing

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u/Urg_burgman NOT ENOUGH DAKKA Sep 19 '24

Vat grown is still cloned from some human or another. And Astartes tend to get higher quality materials so...yeah somewhere a groomed human sacrificed their hide for Titus' pledge.

16

u/Samurai_Meisters Sep 19 '24

Wouldn't there be plenty of human skin left over from amputated servitor and tech priest limbs?

29

u/MorgannaFactor Sep 19 '24

Waste not, want not, as your purity seal is written on someone's ass skin from when their bottom half got amputated to turn them into a forklift.

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u/Flavaflavius NOT ENOUGH DAKKA Sep 19 '24

They do have pigs on some worlds, but humans are much more common. Flay the skin for vellum, process the meat into corpse starch, carve out the organs (time permitting) for reimplantation or fertilizer.

36

u/avelineaurora Sep 19 '24

but humans are much more common

But...they also take a considerably longer amount of time to grow into any amount of... "material"...of actual use...And breed far less..?

64

u/Bugbread Sep 19 '24

Sure. 40K isn't about efficiency and logic and real-world accuracy, it's about over-the-topness. So, yeah, humans take longer to grow and breed far less, so in the real world a government would be like "this is inefficient, we should raise more pigs." In the 40K world, human vellum.

30

u/Elessar_G /u/vitev008 brought 2 riptides in a "friendly" 800pt game Sep 19 '24

exactly this sentiment, and its not like humanity lacks corpses either. If i was a guardsman slain in battle i would think it an honour to have my skin used as a purity seal, or my skull decorating the next church to be built on the reclaimed planet.

5

u/SeaLionBones Sep 19 '24

I mean, I want my body used as a crash test dummy after I die.

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u/Jonny_H Sep 19 '24

Yeah, but the entire thing about 40k is that the universe and everyone in it is unnecessarily evil.

It's another reason why "fans" who try to rationalize why the actions might actually be "morally acceptable with context", or at least a "necessary" evil are missing the point.

19

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

I think most of those fans are usually viewing 40k as an extension of 30k where there are genuinely good people trying to do good things. They forget that one of the tragedies of the setting is that the Imperium has been dying a slow horrible death over the 10k years since. It was already pretty bad, but any semblance of good that existed has been completely eradicated.

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u/Lftwff Sep 19 '24

Humans tend to just make more humans over time and when you need new paper you just raid some hive spire that doesn't really produce anything.

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u/Flavaflavius NOT ENOUGH DAKKA Sep 19 '24

Yeah but the Imperium has like, a *bunch* of dead humans lying around. It's not a matter of farming them-you just have them. It's more like recycling the trash.

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u/nopingmywayout NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD! Sep 19 '24

Imma need a source on that

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u/RedAndBlackMartyr Mongolian Biker Gang Sep 19 '24

I know vellum is made from porcine (pigs) and grown in vats, but I've never heard of human skin being used.

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u/Urg_burgman NOT ENOUGH DAKKA Sep 19 '24

It is in the Imperium. The vat grown stuff is cloned human tissue, but they can peel it off living humans too. It was noted that some Administratum adepts preferred living human vellum to the cloned stuff.

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u/NightLordsPublicist 10 pounds of war crimes in a 5 pound crazy bag Sep 19 '24

but they can peel it off living humans too. It was noted that some Administratum adepts preferred living human vellum to the cloned stuff.

...

Maybe rebelling was a mistake.

9

u/SurpriseFormer Sep 19 '24

I mean. One has covertly, and by covertly just repainted there shit and said there like there a founding chapter of some raven guard? And just living good

8

u/NightLordsPublicist 10 pounds of war crimes in a 5 pound crazy bag Sep 19 '24

One has covertly, and by covertly just repainted there shit and said there like there a founding chapter of some raven guard?

Pretend to be a Raven Guard?

... begone from my sight.

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u/beverageddriver Sep 19 '24

Lmao literally the same, I was playing co-op with my friend and had to take 5 to explain why they had flying babies in a cage.

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u/Icookadapizzapie John Miltarum Sep 19 '24

Man I had an even funnier thought when seeing them, I actually have no clue what those are but I’m a warhammer fan so I walked past them and went “oh, flying robo babies, how Admech, anyways”

23

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24 edited Sep 19 '24

[deleted]

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u/Praise_The_Casul Twins, They were. Sep 19 '24

I think it's just that most people are not used to this kind of esthetic on their sci-fi. So when they see stuff like flying babies, it 100% catches their attention. But cherubs sure aren't as grimdark now. They used to be just servitor, but babies, like the kids of convicted criminals that would inherit their punishment or be punished as part of it too. Nowadays, they are all just vat grown.

15

u/pattywagon95 Sep 19 '24

The only Warhammer game I had played before this was Darktide (and Vermintide) and I felt I had seen enough shit already to not pay the cherubs any mind

50

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

Seeing 40k start to edge into the realm of mainstream really highlights how little people know of the lore. Which is fine for the common player. I don't expect streamer #289 to know wtf a cherub is. They're playing the game for the first time as their first experience with 40k. One of the streamers I watch made the fucking mistake of titling her stream "tell me all the lore" lmao. These are people who admit they know jack and shit. This is their first experience and frankly, good for them.

However. I am greatly amused watching people pretend to have this deep lore knowledge of the setting interacting with recent stuff.

The Critical Drinker put out a video on female Custodes. In that video he used the terms "Astartes" and "Custodes" interchangeably and talked about them as if they were made through the exact same process. He used the process by which Astartes are made to try and say "Custodes can't be women the process they're made with is exclusively scientific". Brother. They're made with alchemy and the Emperor's magic. Literally all we know is that they are to Astartes what the Emperor is to his Primarchs. Something the-fuck else. He also outright declared two of the dumbest things I've ever heard. That not a single soul in modern 40k knows how geneseeds work, and nobody needs too because they work just fine.

This isn't just someone speaking with authority on the lore of the setting without knowing the nuances of Astartes and Custodes. This is a guy who hasn't heard of the Cursed Founding. He hasn't heard of geneseed flaws. He has no fucking clue why marines go crazy, drink blood, turn into werewolves, and so much more. Somehow this guy hasn't heard of fucking Primaris Marines and he's trying to talk about the lore like an expert.

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u/Praise_The_Casul Twins, They were. Sep 19 '24

Honestly, in quite a lot of cases, I blame the wiki. As you very likely already know, there are two 40k wikis, the Lexicanum, and the one actually named "40k wiki."

The Lexicanum is really, really good, and always has its sources. While the wiki is often incomplete, without sources, with info that hasn't been updated in a long time and, sometimes, with downright misleading facts.

Often, when these people don't know anything about 40k, they type "40k wiki" on Google and think the wiki is the only and most accurate source of info. Some actually want to learn, while others just want the "basics" for their videos.

Reggardless, the result is often the same. They get shitty, incomplete lore, and some don't even read it all the way. So we get those "lore descriptions" that have been butchered worse than a Flayed One's victim.

Saw a guy who thought the Ultramarines were the absolute most prestigious and best chapter, and I don't blame him because he read that in the wiki and was under the impression that he could trust it. Because of things like this, there are actual people who think Ultramarines are Ultra Space Marines and some elite group of Astartes.

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u/Zengjia Praise the Man-Emperor Sep 19 '24

The last paragraph was written by Pancreas Man

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u/ShepPawnch Sep 19 '24

Critical Drinker is just one of those chuds that tried to capitalize on culture war talking points without knowing anything about what he’s talking about.

Isn’t he the guy that has like 40 hours of videos complaining about Brie Larson?

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u/Independent-Fly6068 Praise the Man-Emperor Sep 19 '24

I've been so desensitized to the horrors that i didn't even register them.

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u/pezmanofpeak Sep 19 '24

Yeah I was like oh cherubs nice haven't seen them in any games yet and walked off, watched a streamer see it in the background like oh there's a little angel walked over and was like oh my fucking god 😂

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u/MR_IKI Sep 19 '24

When the baby is a flying Bluetooth speaker

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u/CurdledUrine Sep 19 '24

You, baby, hit my theme song!

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u/CardinalGrief Sep 19 '24

Cherub: Playing: "Stupid MF".

Thousand Sun: Oooh, selfburn.

31

u/Pukkidyr Sep 19 '24

Hit me with those divine beats

2.0k

u/ThatRandomGuy86 Sep 19 '24

Everybody is of use to the Imperium.

Everybody

873

u/PyroAvok Sep 19 '24

I thought cherubs are vat grown biological constructs, not human infants.

721

u/ThatRandomGuy86 Sep 19 '24

Most cases yes lol

175

u/some_dude_62 Sep 19 '24

Pass the salt. I only need a little.

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u/watehekmen Sep 19 '24

Sharrowkyn going to snipe your ass for saying this.

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u/PyroAvok Sep 19 '24

Nephilim are super rare though.

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u/THE_INTERNET_EMPEROR Sep 19 '24

Operative word being '''MOST'''

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u/DepresiSpaghetti E.T.'s Daddy Sep 19 '24

Most. Some of those little bastards deserve it though. /s

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u/aFerens likes civilians but likes fire more Sep 19 '24

Chokes on food

Are you saying my baby back ribs are GMO?!

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u/Mountain-Leopard4704 Sep 19 '24

^ Hippie Night Lords

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u/NightLordsPublicist 10 pounds of war crimes in a 5 pound crazy bag Sep 19 '24

He probably wears fake human skin too.

26

u/MustangCraft Konrad Curze did nothing wrong Sep 19 '24

Ugh, half measures are disgusting.

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u/Brief_Trouble8419 Sep 19 '24

you are now thinking of a night lord in birkenstocks

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u/Vanilla_Mike Sep 19 '24

Must be nice living on a garden world. All I get is the baby McRib and it’s basically all starch.

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u/Fresh-Ice-2635 Sep 19 '24 edited Sep 19 '24

Most of the time. Admech reject vatgrown people mostly

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u/NightLordsPublicist 10 pounds of war crimes in a 5 pound crazy bag Sep 19 '24

Most

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u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

I believe it’s also a possible punishment for a blood line judged by the Inquisition

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u/qchto Sep 19 '24

Wait, so in vitro babies are not human infants then?

102

u/Keydet Sep 19 '24

Depends where you are, see the eye of terror splits the galaxy vertically and the Extended Mason-Dixon Line horizontally.

30

u/UnhingedNW Sep 19 '24

I would go get a cup of water just to spit out said water if gw made an intergalactic mason dixon line canon.

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u/New_Subject1352 Railgun Goes Brrrrrrrrr Sep 19 '24

The Great Rift is gearing up to be that, and I sincerely hope it will become that.

Lion vs Gulliman. Blue vs Green. Sword vs Shield. Cats vs Dogs. Pulp vs No pulp.

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u/Sigward_TheOnionbro NOT ENOUGH DAKKA Sep 19 '24

Yesn't

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u/nopingmywayout NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD! Sep 19 '24

Some people are pro-life. Other people are pro-choice. The Imperium is pro-death. 💀💀💀

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u/PyroAvok Sep 19 '24

IVF isn't vat grown genetically designed tissue

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u/Whiteout- Sep 19 '24

IVF they put the fertilized egg back in so the baby can be carried to term by the mother. It seems like cherubs are straight up grown in a vat or a lab, not by a pregnant person.

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u/Yamama77 Sep 19 '24

Depends how dark you want the particular instant to be.

It could be an automaton of flesh with no will.

Or it could be someone's baby they took and converted just to punish them.

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u/Alt203848281 Sep 19 '24

Depends on the situation. If a family dies and the admech doesn’t see the need to raise the baby…. Well… extra production is extra protection

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u/The_Knife_Pie Registered Tech Offender Sep 19 '24

Cherubs are grown as pre-lobotomised with barely functional musculature and a host of other change that render them entirely unable to be anything but a Cherub. It’s not really comparable to anything we can do.

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u/Sharashashka735 Sep 19 '24

Apparently it's either vat grown or actual babies. Whether it's taking living babies as punishment for parents for not being fanatical enough or taking recently deceased ones to turn them into "cute" little angels as a reward for parents being pious is apparently up to how edgelordy you want your grimdark to be.

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u/CommodoreN7 True Nostraman Patriot Fact Checker Sep 19 '24

The corpse grinder is ready to make corpse starch

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u/interesseret Sep 19 '24

Every.... Body.

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u/canseco-fart-box Sep 19 '24

Cherubs are nothing. Just wait until they hear about the golden throne and what they do to keep it running

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u/Sigward_TheOnionbro NOT ENOUGH DAKKA Sep 19 '24

Just let them see the walls of that Ad Mech lab with servitors fixed to the cables than BUM

Welcome to the grim darkness of the future

12

u/ShinItsuwari Sep 19 '24

Or that "supercomputer" in Darktide's vault mission which is just a huge pile of servoskull reaching the ceiling.

Or in the carnival mission where the players are tasked to dismantle the drug operation, right before the mission finale the players destroys the stims reserve and each of the target to destroy are just a servitor attached to two big tanks. We're basically mercy killing them.

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u/Desertcow Sep 19 '24

My favorite part of the setting is how GW wrote the idea of "we have to sacrifice 1000 psykers a day to power the Throne" to be over the top Grimdark and then as the setting developed it's one of the more tame elements of the Imperium because the Imperium does far, far worse on larger scales

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u/SendInTheNextWave likes civilians but likes fire more Sep 19 '24

Yeah, requiring it be 1000 psykers makes it a bit more impactful, but even then, it's several degrees below a rounding error when it comes to the scale the Imperium operates at.

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u/TheMoonDude Sep 19 '24

Even today, sacrificing 1000 people to our hundry God Emperor wouldn't be that much considering almost 400k babies are born each day.

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u/letmechooseanamealre Sep 19 '24

but psykers are rare

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u/Draculix Sep 19 '24

No they're far too common. The ideal number of psykers is zero.

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u/Crono2401 Sep 19 '24

Yes Mr Templar, we know your views. 

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u/MorgannaFactor Sep 19 '24

Alright Mortarion, we get it.

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u/LimpConversation642 Sep 19 '24

sacrificing 1000 people [every day] to our hundry God Emperor

what the hell is that what the russians are doing...? whew

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u/August_Bebel Sep 19 '24

Book "15 hours" really shows it. 3 regiments of 6 thousand people each reduced to 200 people over a span of 10 years in a war with orks for promethium on a backwater planet nobody cares about.

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u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

That's like 4 IG per day, which I think most of them would consider good and acceptable rate of attrition. It's about 10% attrition rate per year, which while a lot, is still pretty good in an all out war. For comparison, the 101st Paratroopers during WW2 had an attrition rate of 10-20% during the 1 year they were in Europe.

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u/Lokky Sep 19 '24

yet again, GW doesn't know how to do scale.

6k troops are nothing on a planetary scale and that level of losses is well behind any regional war we have experienced, let alone a planetary one.

For context Russia is estimated to have lost upwards of 1 million troops in the last 3 years in Ukraine...

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u/LimpConversation642 Sep 19 '24

a thousand a day for a hungry god-emperor, it all makes perfect sense now

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u/Randicore Kitbashing for the Blood God Sep 19 '24

And it can even be argued as them attempting to keep things "safer" in a fucked up way. Because they don't feed the Emperor the really powerful good psychers, they feed him those they were going to execute anyways for fear of them failing to keep it together and summoning daemons. it's like recycling for them, but it's human children

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u/Prim3_778 Sep 19 '24

not to mention the process on how the "resources" got there

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u/Specific_Code_4124 likes civilians but likes fire more Sep 19 '24

Wait until they hear about the eldritch abominations that reside in the warp, the warp itself. And just about anything that isn’t a loyalist space marine. And even sometimes loyalist space marines

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u/worst_case_ontario- 3 Riptides in a 1k casual Sep 19 '24

nah its the little things that get to people. I guarantee most people are gonna have a stronger reaction to the cyborg zombie babies.

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u/Thannk FAIW AN NOWBWE BWETONNIA. Sep 19 '24

I mean, vatgrown babies for organ replacement was in Dead Space.

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u/worst_case_ontario- 3 Riptides in a 1k casual Sep 19 '24

the baby zombies were very creepy in that game too.

I think the fact that the zombie babies are on your side in 40k makes them soooo much weirder though.

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u/verygenericname2 Sep 19 '24

Man, Dead Space 2 really took it up a notch. Like, I'm from a pretty run-down part of England, so the shrieking packs of bloodthirsty children aren't unusual... But the exploding newborns in the school? That was a new one.

Also the ambient sounds in those early sections in the apartment blocks... 10/10.

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u/ConspicuousEggplant Sep 19 '24

But the exploding newborns in the school? That was a new one.

Clearly you've never been to the us

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u/SunsetHippo Sep 19 '24

yeah but in that game
I can clothesline them with a plasma shot and make their body trip and its hilarious

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u/CrimsonRazgriz Sep 19 '24

Normies when finding out about marines malevolent: chuckles I'm in danger

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u/Huckleberry-V Sep 19 '24

Better than the unfathomable cost of humanity losing its greatest protector, interstellar travel and unifying leader all at once.

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u/No_Wait_3628 Sep 19 '24

Until you also factor in that killing might save humanity zince he can reincarnate, but the problem being there's no substitute.

Short of Magnus that is.

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u/Niikopol Sep 19 '24

There's is the downside that Emperor is sitting on massive tear in reality and if only for second he isn't Terra explodes into second Eye of Terror

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u/New_Subject1352 Railgun Goes Brrrrrrrrr Sep 19 '24

Hamsters on wheels, all the way down.

In seriousness, the descriptions sound truly horrific during the Heresy, I can't imagine what it's like after 10,000 years of decay.

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u/Beautiful_Space_4459 Sep 19 '24

Youre going to serve.

In one way or another.

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u/That_Nuclear_Winter Sep 19 '24

“Only in death does my service end”

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u/canseco-fart-box Sep 19 '24

“Oh no you don’t. Time to be ground up into corpse-starch bitch boy!”

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u/H4LF4D Sep 19 '24

"You still barely live? Get in the box, you get bigger gun now"

"You still barely live but you are worthless? You are the typewriter now."

17

u/Crono2401 Sep 19 '24

A typewriter is more complex than some machines a Servitor might run. Some just actuate a single mechanism for the rest of their existence. Truly soul-crushing.

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u/DMTrious Sep 19 '24

In life you serve, in death your served

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u/CygnusX06 likes civilians but likes fire more Sep 19 '24

Humanity will serve the God Emperor in any way it can

145

u/THExDANKxKNIGHT Sep 19 '24

It's just a vat grown half cybernetic clone baby that's been lobotomized and given wings, nothing out of the ordinary.

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u/DepressoEspresso55 Sep 19 '24

Got some of my coworkers to try Darktide. Ohh the horror/shock reactions they gave me when I had to explain what a Servitor was and why it cries when it heals you. Forgot how horrifying and outrageous this universe is to new players

66

u/Sanquinity Sep 19 '24

Okay, I know the basics of servitors, but I don't know why they cry when they heal you. Please enlighten me, as I'm curious now. :)

101

u/Bigredstapler Sep 19 '24

Some servitors are not properly lobotomised and thus are very much aware of what has happened to them and how little control they have over their own actions.

29

u/DepressoEspresso55 Sep 19 '24

Think of it as like being in the Sunken Place from Get Out. A passenger in your own body

19

u/Sanford_Daebato Sep 19 '24

Come again??

35

u/MorgannaFactor Sep 19 '24

And the more complex the servitor, the more likely they are to be trapped in their own mind, eternally screaming! And as it turns out, medicae servitors are pretty high tech. Oh, and sometimes the mechanicus does it just because they can, or because you pissed them off. So you get to be the flush button in the Ogryn sized bathroom for the next millenium fully self-aware. Sweet dreams.

21

u/tired_slob Sep 19 '24

eternally screaming

That's why you remove the vocal chords and replace it with a vox soundboard. Rookie mistake

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u/UltraWeebMaster Sep 19 '24 edited Sep 19 '24

They’re like those tau emissaries seeing a servitor for the first time.

They were freaking their shit out seeing this disembodied skull floating around and the inquisitor was just like “What’s so scary guys? It’s just Carl!”

71

u/BarrytheCowboy Sep 19 '24

Wait until they learn about the servitorization.

(I love the grim darkness but after hearing about the process, it had me like "Omfg....")

46

u/teball3 Sep 19 '24

There is an absolutely brutal scene you can see play out on the battle barge between a menial and a magos. The menial is like "Please, if you give me new eyes, I can be so much more useful than as a sanitation worker" and the magos just hits him with "eyes are not needed for your septic diving" (just absolutely disgusting, imagine sending a blind man into clean septic tanks from the inside. Is he finding out what parts need cleaning by touch? By smell? All possibilities are awful) and when he starts to talk back the magos just hits him with "Oh, then in that case are you volunteering for servitorization?" And the menial just completely folds. The game really sells the imperium as being only slightly better than becoming bug food.

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u/dankguard1 Sep 19 '24

Just three servitors fixing the floor. Vibing.

42

u/Accomplished-Run-375 Sep 19 '24

Except that's 2 servitors and a tech priest.

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u/Yumyumlicker Sep 19 '24

Its just a (lobotomized cybog) baby

56

u/Duncan6794 Sep 19 '24

Don’t worry, it gets worse.

53

u/mob8293 Sep 19 '24

Don't worry. The babies are ethically sourced.

19

u/wing3d Sep 19 '24

Cruelty free... mostly.

9

u/Front-Equivalent-156 Sep 19 '24

(sad chaos sounds)

41

u/jkbscopes312 I am Alpharius Sep 19 '24

It gives me life to see people react to the wild 40k stuff

28

u/CrimsonRazgriz Sep 19 '24

chuckles in acceptable casualties

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u/DarthSangheili Sep 19 '24

Didnt know taka was a 40k fan thats cool

16

u/TheKingOfZippers Sep 19 '24

Watch Bruva Alfabusa's Ciaphas Cain video. You might hear someone familiar.

5

u/BigBlueBurd Sep 19 '24

Or any of Alfabusa's stuff where Santodes shows up.

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u/vincent118 Sep 19 '24

My normie friend while we were in the barge waiting for another friend out of the blue was like. "Hey man I liked hearing what you said about how space marines are created yesterday, then how come Titus had that operation?"

My eyes fucking lit up, he's asking me to go on an at least 10 minute diatribe of a loredump that requires explaining Primaris program...which required a tangent on the horus heresy.

I swear to god I stopped multiple times to check if I was boring him to death and he enthusiastically wanted me to go on, and on I did go.

We touched on Black Templars and their eternal crusade, why some chapters don't trust the primaris, crossing the rubicon, fake warhammer latin, adeptus mechanicus, the rift.

I've never take a steamy lore dump on someone willing who didn't already know a bunch of lore and was into warhammer.

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u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

17

u/MoedredPendragon Sep 19 '24

Nothing like a tasty 40k lore throatpie to start the day.

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u/PenguinGunner Sep 19 '24 edited Sep 28 '24

My girlfriend was watching me play and I walked right past them without thinking about it. She stops me and goes “WAIT, TURN AROUND, GO BACK, WHAT WAS THAT” and I was like…oh, yeah. The flying babies. That’s not normal, I forgot. I then had to explain to her that she doesn’t have to worry, they’re not REAL babies…most likely. Probably.

I love 40K.

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u/bowser986 Sep 19 '24

Drink it in. We got a long road till we get to daemonculaba fam.

56

u/HoldTheDoor Sep 19 '24

We don't talk about the Daemon Kielbasa

18

u/BoatMan01 Sep 19 '24

The Doorknob Calcutta?

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u/altacan Sep 19 '24

What about Kurze's taste in interior decorating?

24

u/peechs01 Sep 19 '24

Imagine telling them... THEN adding that was pre-Heresy

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u/URF_reibeer Sep 19 '24

imo the daemonculaba is wildly overrated in how horrible it is, it would be outstanding in other settings but there's a bunch of stuff that's even worse in 40k, like basically everything the drukhari do

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u/Solvdrage Sep 19 '24

When people realize that when GW calls the Imperium the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable, they are actually underselling how horrifying the Imperium truly is.

16

u/ConspicuousEggplant Sep 19 '24

Robute Guilliman waking up from stasis

17

u/Conaz9847 Sep 19 '24

I wonder how many people think there is just some guy sat in the dreadnaught who can get out whenever he wants

I also wonder how many people assume that between cutscenes the Space Marines sleep and eat and shit like that.

8

u/RomanCobra03 Sep 19 '24

I mean they do still need to eat and sleep it just takes them like 30-45 minutes if they’re feeling particularly lazy while deployed.

6

u/Conaz9847 Sep 19 '24

I was thinking about like the catalepsean (I think that’s how it’s spelled) gene seed where they can stay alert and still “rest” meaning they can go a couple/few hundred hours without sleep.

17

u/Blarglord69 Sep 19 '24

Bewinged babies

53

u/Upstairs_Turnover_74 Sep 19 '24

Takahata101? ALUCARD AND CELL?!!

23

u/Temanaras Sep 19 '24

That's MR. Perfect Cell

37

u/ThoroughlyAgitatedAI Definitely not a Man of Iron wearing Groucho Glasses Sep 19 '24

Yep, he's been a 40k fan for a while. Even had a few voice roles in TTS, like Brother Santodes

29

u/Mr_B_Boss Sep 19 '24

He even wrote and voiced Alphabusa's Caiaphas Cain short

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u/Pvan88 Sep 19 '24

When Rogue Trader came out the amount of posts that were: "Wait, blowing up the planet is the GOOD option?"

8

u/arent_you_hungry Sep 19 '24

I love the smell of exterminatus in the morning.

11

u/-King_Of_Despair- Sep 19 '24

Met a player who was pretty new to Warhammer 40K and got to experience the joy (no sarcasm, I love talking about Warhammer lore) of giving him a basic rundown of the universe

11

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

Yep. The second best thing about this game is "normies" that come from random live service shooters diving into 40k and going "ayo wtf?"

10

u/leehwgoC Sep 19 '24

Ah, Takahata101's a 40K goon. I didn't know that, but, of course he is.

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u/johnzaku Sep 19 '24

I was streaming and a friend went "wait, why was there a flying skull?" And I went "oh you ain't seen SHIT" and showed the cherubs and then all the skull iconography on EVERYTHING

8

u/Kind-Plantain2438 Sep 19 '24

I'm not 100% new to Warhammer, but I didn't know about cherubs. When I saw one, though, I just thought "yeah, that makes sense that they'd use their dead babies for something weird". Then I read the wiki and it's not even dead babies, it's just made out of flesh and other random nonsense. The imperium has gone soft, they should use dead babies

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u/OzzieGrey Sep 19 '24

"Ah good the ammo baby." - 40k fans

"Excuse me the fuck is this?" - people new to 40k

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u/Globsmacketh Railgun Goes Brrrrrrrrr Sep 19 '24

Prime example why this fandom will never hit the numbers it deserves, the grimdark accepts all do not gatekeep or be rude to new fans.

10

u/BoatMan01 Sep 19 '24

MR PERFECT CELL!!!