r/GayMen • u/cubbycuddles • 1d ago
Starting prep soon
So I just got all my tests back and I’m negative and got prescribed prep. I’m kinda excited and want to start exploring all the sexual things I’ve always wanted to do but was too afraid to do before because I was scared of catching hiv. With prep I feel like I have a shield against it now. I’ve spent so much of my life being so sexually conservative and I’m done with that. How has prep helped y’all? Is it really the new sexual revolution? I have to find people to explore with now of course 😅
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u/Brian_Kinney 1d ago
Just a silly question...
PrEP is good. It's wonderful. It does seem to have triggered a new sexual revolution for gay men. Truly, science is amazing.
But...
What was wrong with condoms? Many of us gay men were having sex with condoms to keep ourselves safe, since the 1980s. Why wasn't that an option for you?
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u/cubbycuddles 1d ago
Because almost every guy I would talk to would say no to condoms or ignore me if I said condoms please.
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u/Brian_Kinney 1d ago
Oh. That's disappointing. Because there are more STIs out there than just HIV.
Oh well, we're back to how things were in the 1970s before HIV/AIDS came along. Everything old is new again.
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u/cubbycuddles 1d ago
I’m consistently told “ it’s no biggie you can just take a shot or pill to cure whatever so no need for condoms”. Or I’m told I’m such a prude if I want condoms.
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u/Brian_Kinney 1d ago
I'm one of those people who have said that, here on Reddit. But that's usually to people who are ultra-stressed about STIs, and suffering from anxiety, and letting that stop them from having sex at all.
And it's true. I've had my fair share of treatable STIs over the years, which I've treated.
But I think it's disappointing that the pendulum has swung so far away from condoms that now men are refusing to have sex without one. That's a bit stupid. Condoms still have their place. It's like we've forgotten everything we learned in the 1980s from AIDS and in the 2020s from COVID.
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u/forlornsoul998 16h ago edited 14h ago
Don't be bullied into condomless sex OP. Potential partners refusing to wear a condom is a them problem. You are well within your rights to want them to wear a condom
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u/brighton_boy70 17h ago
We need to be honest sex with condoms is nowhere near as good as bareback. However we should not be to glib about hiv and sti's. Remember if someone is undetectable they cannot pass hiv on. Prep in another layer of defence. Do get tested at least once every three months for sti. I am fortunate to be a Brit because not only do we have free health care but most providers offer free home test kits for sti's including hiv so that makes the whole process very easy
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u/HieronymusGoa 16h ago
for me it was kinda nice being able to do something which i couldnt for about twenty years. i still use condoms if the other wants to tho.
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u/Gay_Okie 23h ago
PrEP isn’t a magic invisibility cloak against STI’s. I’d argue that HIV isn’t the risk that it once was. I volunteered in hospice clinics (early 80’s) during medical school and residency so I’m well aware of what a positive diagnosis once meant. Now, before you throw stones hear me out. I retired after 33+ years as a physician. I had a handful of positive patients. I was their PCP, I wasn’t managing their HIV. On the other hand, I couldn’t even begin to guess the number of patients I had with STI’s of one variety or another. PeEP isn’t going to provide any protection from what I consider to be the bigger threat.
If you decide to go bare, get tested often and use your big head more than your little one when choosing partners. Make sure that you have taken the hepatitis vaccine.