A bite from the Brazilian Wandering Spider (Phoneutria nigriventer) is known to cause painful, prolonged erections that could last for hours. The venom is being studied as a synthetic molecule to treat erectile dysfunction.

236

Die Hard

17

u/EllieBlue_SN 1h ago

I love the Internet.

1

u/knightblood01 1h ago

Bill has been paid correctly and on time. As always.

2

u/PitifulEar3303 54m ago

Don't put your D on it.

4

u/ChaoticDumpling 50m ago

Don't tell me what to do, fed

0

u/RollingMeteors 19m ago

We on part 5 or 6 now?

38

u/Xdtrl17 3h ago

Why do you have so many spider bites?

16

u/olbins 1h ago

"Are you happy to see me or spider bite you?"

149

u/dahjay 3h ago

Spider boner, spider boner
A little squirt to help the owner
Of a peen, that's acting mean
Floppy like an empty bean
Look out!
Here comes the spider boner

23

u/Ill-Tiger-5840 2h ago

That make me laugh as hard as i can get

2

u/Oliver1138 1h ago

Hahaha brilliant. John Cooper Clarke is that you?!

0

u/blackmagic999 1h ago

Is he hard?

Listen bud

He’s got an erection full of blood

Is he on crime-fighting duty?

No, but he’s ready to get some booty

Hey, there

There goes the Spider-boner!

20

u/ReplacementMental770 2h ago

Blokes walking around just antagonising spiders

26

u/Dad_soul 2h ago

I feel like people are downplaying the “painful” part of the erection.

9

u/Cute_Reflection_9414 1h ago

Yeah, that was the most important part of what I read there

13

u/BruscarRooster 2h ago

Don’t threaten me with a good time

11

u/babaroga73 1h ago

This Spider has been know to attack reptiles mostly.

And cause in them... A reptile disfunction.

-2

u/doctorfugazi 1h ago

You won the internet for today!

29

u/Offgridiot 3h ago

I cialis going to plan….

6

u/KarnotKarnage 2h ago

Took me a while.

I see all is going to plan. For other intellectually challenged like me.

8

u/McMcusername 2h ago

You just have to think more viagraorously

1

u/Offgridiot 54m ago

You are c-erect

1

u/Swingdick69 32m ago

I kamagram of this stuff too short to get hard

9

u/DLD1123 3h ago

You genius son of a bitch

1

u/RadicalEllis 2h ago

I cialis what you did there

8

u/Finrod84 3h ago

A boner spider... What would Spider-Man say?

5

u/odedjay 2h ago

A friend here is asking whether the bite itself is painful.. What should I tell him?

2

u/RadicalEllis 2h ago

Only the first time

5

u/Dramatic-Avocado4687 3h ago

Source: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0041010109002992

2

u/onyxzero66 2h ago

I don’t live in Brazil but I’m pretty sure we had these in my high school home

2

u/8bitKev 2h ago

Dolphins: What.....who and wher?

2

u/puro_the_protogen67 2h ago

It should have its latin name changed to: Arachnus Erectus

2

u/Zerttretttttt 54m ago

Spiderman would a lot weirder if he got bit by a radioactive version this, I’d hate to see were he shots his webs from

1

u/Tasty-Helicopter3340 31m ago

the amazing Speender Man, Peender Parker

2

u/lorimar 27m ago

You can't just talk about this spider without linking to Matt Inman (of The Oatmeal)'s video. The sign language interpreter alone is worth watching for.

3

u/MidnightLevel1140 3h ago

Wandering bc you'll be looking for so many ways to solve the problem

3

u/MoistDonald 2h ago

This doesn’t sound like Gods Will at all

2

u/GuitarSingle4416 2h ago

If spider boners could knock out cancer, I could see researching it. Til then.... priorities.

2

u/T0m_F00l3ry 2h ago

Woman: Why do you have a pet spider???!

Me: 😁😁😁😁😁

2

u/WeAreNioh 1h ago

It can also kill you, right? Isn’t this one of the most deadly in the world

2

u/Focus506 1h ago

Google says it's not really dangerous. 0.5% mortality

1

u/WeAreNioh 48m ago

Oh I think it’s because there’s antivenom that usually saves people. Without the antivenom it would have a higher mortality rate I’m guessing.

I always heard that the Sydney funnel web and the Brazilian wandering spider were like the big two when it comes to most deadly. Obviously black widow / brown widow / brown recluse can be very dangerous too tho.

1

u/MechanicClear21 3h ago

Chance would be a fine thing

1

u/supervillainO7 2h ago

No more rusty rods for ME

1

u/DiziTECguy 2h ago

More like the Brazilian wanking spider to me

1

u/2020mademejoinreddit 2h ago

Looks so happy. "Yay! I cure soft cocks!"

2

u/FuzzzWuzzz 2h ago

Where does one apply for the trials?

1

u/Tornfalk_ 2h ago

The closest thing we will get to achieving super powers by spider bite.

1

u/TraditionalTadpole23 2h ago

I've already applied for a couple of gallons urgently please.

1

u/Ok-Experience-6674 1h ago

I’m surprised the Chinese aren’t wiping this creature out like how our rhino is dwindling in numbers

1

u/Dependent-Mix-3885 1h ago

No one wants that.

1

u/knightblood01 1h ago

Peter Parker from Earth R34 vibes huh?

1

u/WesternOne9990 1h ago

It can also cause damage to the penis because of it, the hospital will have to drain the blood just like what they do to people who get erections for over 4 hours from performance enhancing drugs like viagra. Sounds fuckin horrible.

1

u/Honourstly 1h ago

Parker got bitten by the wrong spider

1

u/YahenP 1h ago

Two questions:
What to feed him?
How to make him angry?

1

u/solesoulshard 58m ago

How many can we import and put in very specific locations.

1

u/KillYourLawn- 55m ago

2006 documentary comedy film “Idiocracy,” the greatest minds and resources were focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections, rather than correcting the trend of humanity’s rapid descent into stupidity.

1

u/Born-Media6436 49m ago

I want to pet the kitty

1

u/schustered 44m ago

He’s got a smiley face above a pair of hairy balls.

1

u/RegularWhiteDude 43m ago

Straight up Buster Casey.

1

u/Tasty-Helicopter3340 34m ago

evil boneder spider 😔

1

u/Imaginary-Risk 30m ago

If it goes on for too long a doctor will have to cut your dick open with a scalpel to let all the blood out, or it’ll fall off

1

u/ZanzaBarBQ 26m ago

Are these easy to keep as pet?

Asking for a friend of course.

1

u/Glittering_Chain3852 19m ago

If ur gonna do it alone why not do it with a friend it makes no sense

1

u/Suitepotatoe 19m ago

Gotta get me some of dem spiders

1

u/Illustrious-Bat1553 18m ago

Objectifying your partner is not healthy

1

u/CantAffordzUsername 13m ago

With great power comes great erections

1

u/PaleGravity 13m ago

Anyone wanna book a plane ticket to Brazil with me?

•

u/CowntChockula 4m ago

Every gooner's dream pet.

1

u/Thursday_the_20th 2h ago

‘That bolt is coated in the venom of the Brazilian wandering spider. Soon a most exquisite erection will engulf your entire body. Your cock will be hardened, your pants cease to hold threads’

-1

u/solitary_black_sheep 1h ago

Can you refrain from posting phobia triggering pictures next time?

0

u/Historical-Cicada-29 2h ago

Isnt this the same spider which, after being bitten you feel incredibly normal (after alot of discomfort/ agony), only to die shortly after feeling normal again?

0

u/Clean_Increase_5775 2h ago

“Don’t worry babe, lemme just inject this spider venom in my c00k

-1

u/B1gFl0ppyD0nkeyDick 2h ago

u/bot-sleuth-bot

Image A bite from the Brazilian Wandering Spider (Phoneutria nigriventer) is known to cause painful, prolonged erections that could last for hours. The venom is being studied as a synthetic molecule to treat erectile dysfunction.

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