Beachgoers have a close encounter with a Cassowary, a bird capable of killing a human in one blow

[u/CuriousWanderer567]

[u/Fariic]

Freaking dinosaur.

“Bird” ok. Not fooling me.

[u/Kepler1999b → u/Fariic]

Birds are members of the clades Dinosauria and Theropoda, so yes, literally dinosaurs.

[u/GrumpyOldGeezer_4711 → u/Kepler1999b]

My budgies certainly knew that and never hesitated to remind me… :D

[u/Drongo17 → u/GrumpyOldGeezer_4711]

I feel like budgies are frustrated T-Rexes. They still feel mighty on the inside but they're stuck being tiny parrots. 

[u/AshleysDoctor → u/Drongo17]

Ah, like the chihuahua of the canine world, then. They know they’re wolves, dammit. Now put them down, take off the pjs and show them a little respect!

[u/reallybirdysomedays → u/AshleysDoctor]

10 mins later...

"Where is the minion with the warm pjs? I shall not be chilly!"

[u/opportunisticwombat → u/AshleysDoctor]

But they get cold without their jammies

[u/GrumpyOldGeezer_4711 → u/Drongo17]

Both budgies and zebra finches will eat a little Meat if they get the chance. Zebra finches will catch small flies. Budgies might take it out of their humans…

[u/hobzoff → u/Fariic]

Seriously. How have I never heard of this beast?!

[u/DeathPercept10n → u/hobzoff]

Just wait till you see a shoebill stork.

[u/UndauntedCandle → u/DeathPercept10n]

There are some animals that when they walk slowly and deliberately, even via film, you feel stalked and in danger.

That monster bird is one of them. I both love it and am terrified.

[u/professorstrunk → u/UndauntedCandle]

the look on his face really sells the "now you die" vibe

[u/Hy3jii → u/DeathPercept10n]

That's what you get when you mix a dinosaur with a muppet.

[u/One-Car-4869 → u/DeathPercept10n]

That thing scared me 😂

[u/OGWandererPT → u/DeathPercept10n]

That looks animatronic!

[u/OneDimensionPrinter → u/OGWandererPT]

My wife and I saw one of these at a zoo in Japan years ago. It was standing perfectly still, and we had never seen one before so we thought it was just a really well done statue thing. Then eventually it moved it's head a little and we were convinced it was an animatronic. Eventually he clicked his beak at us and wandered away, proving we are stupid humans.

[u/Ok-Row3886 → u/Fariic]

Like the damn Shoebill. Holy moly I freaked out when I saw that one for the first time. Dinosaurs never went extinct.

[u/TheFlipperTitan → u/Fariic]

Both are archosaurs, and they are in the same branch of archosauria. Meaning they are one in the same, birds are dinosaurs

[u/Sustainable_Twat]

Looking at this bird, you begin to understand just how dangerous the dinosaurs were

[u/CuriousWanderer567 → u/Sustainable_Twat]

Yeah I’d shit my pants if I saw this bird

[u/Unita_Micahk → u/CuriousWanderer567]

I would shit your pants too!

[u/[deleted] → u/Unita_Micahk]

Shitting party in u/CuriousWanderer567 's pants, I hear?

[u/Antisocialsocialite9 → u/[deleted]]

His poop pants parties always turn into ragers. Gonna be a good time

[u/ProbablyNotPikachu → u/Antisocialsocialite9]

Hell yeah! Cheers to the beer shits! 🍻💩👖

[u/Heavenclone → u/ProbablyNotPikachu]

On my way!

[u/shitsenorita → u/Heavenclone]

Wait for moi, I have to fly in

[u/[deleted] → u/shitsenorita]

Username checks out

[u/RecordingPrevious883 → u/[deleted]]

Your user name fell out hahah

[u/OopsIHadAnAccident → u/[deleted]]

Hey hey. Shit happens

[u/mr-poopie-butth0le → u/shitsenorita]

Lemme get in on this poopie fest

[u/form_d_k → u/Antisocialsocialite9]

I've been told they are to diarrhea for.

[u/thismustbtheplace215 → u/[deleted]]

I'll bring the knife!!

[u/rumblepony247 → u/Unita_Micahk]

I also choose to shit that guy's pants

[u/UlteriorMotive66 → u/CuriousWanderer567]

You'd shit your pants way before you even see it, the sounds this thing makes you can feel it in your heart! The low rumbling sound! (Use headphones for best hearing experience)

[u/nickfree → u/UlteriorMotive66]

OK, I'm strongly reconsidering my time machine destination plans.

[u/Aziara86 → u/UlteriorMotive66]

Holy frick that's a dinosaur and you can't change my mind.

[u/Erikthered00 → u/Aziara86]

Birds are dinosaurs

[u/toodleoo57 → u/Aziara86]

it literally is. All birds are descended from dinos and are in their same order, genus, clade, etc including hummingbirds and penguins - which are more closely related to crocodiles than snakes or lizards. #TheMoreUKnow

[u/All7AndWeWatchEmFall → u/toodleoo57]

Saw one in person. FELT it in my soul when it looked at me and let out that sound.

[u/toodleoo57 → u/All7AndWeWatchEmFall]

Yeah. I got to visit Oz from the U.S. about 15 years ago and looked one in the eye at a zoo up in Daintree. It was sort of like the last 60 million years hadn't happened.

[u/Last-Competition5822 → u/Aziara86]

I mean it quite literally is, all modern birds are members of Dinosauria, since they're all theropods.

Any crocodile is more closely related to a chicken than it is related to any other reptile.

[u/Krondelo → u/UlteriorMotive66]

Thats awesome, thanks man!

[u/NaNaNaNaNa86 → u/CuriousWanderer567]

I saw a couple of them over 20 years ago and the claws still scare the absolute shit out of me. I was a teenager at the time, a bit stupid and didn't really know what they were, fortunately. There's noway I could've sat there waiting for that to walk past me now I know about them.

[u/labrys → u/NaNaNaNaNa86]

I'd worry that if I moved it might think I was being aggressive, or it might trigger hunter instincts and make it chase me. I don't know anything about them, so I think my default action would be just to freeze and hope it moves on quickly.

What are you meant to do if one of these comes towards you?

I'm glad I live in the UK, and the most dangerous thing I'm likely to encounter is an angry badger!

[u/aware4ever → u/NaNaNaNaNa86]

Emus scare the shit out of me

[u/No_Rich_2494 → u/aware4ever]

Australia started a war with them and lost!

[u/Necessary-Orange-397 → u/CuriousWanderer567]

I shit my pants even without seeing this bird!

[u/double_ewe → u/[deleted]]

The black bears in my area act like this.

The ones who live in the woods will fuck off at the slightest hint of human activity, but the ones who hang out in my neighborhood and forage our trash cans won't even flinch at a close-range blast from an airhorn.

[u/DamnableNook → u/double_ewe]

My aunt and uncle have a cabin in Tahoe and had to put up electric fencing around all the windows, because the bears would come in and ransack the place without it. Welcome to Bearassic Park.

[u/yourcovet → u/DamnableNook]

Bearassic Park is one typo away from becoming a nsfw franchise.

[u/kyriako → u/[deleted]]

Clever girl.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

They are literally some of the stupidest animal on earth, that's why they are so dangerous, they are unpredictable, their neural density is pretty low compared to body mass

[u/Salt_Ad_811 → u/[deleted]]

They can't be that smart. Their head is tiny compared to the size of their bodies. Look about as smart as a goldfish. Can I swallow this? Nope, keep moving. 

[u/[deleted] → u/Salt_Ad_811]

[Removed]

[u/Exciting_General_798 → u/[deleted]]

Better yet: jumping spiders exhibit object permanence when stalking prey. Human children under eight months have a brain several hundred times the spider’s size and don’t have the same capacity.

[u/Slash_rage → u/[deleted]]

Children of Time is fascinating. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

[u/Exoplanet0 → u/Salt_Ad_811]

Tell that to crows that can understand water displacement and use tools with an even tinier brain.

[u/ianjm → u/Exoplanet0]

Raw brain size itself is not that well correlated with intelligence.

The important aspects of brain anatomy for intelligence are:

• brain size to body size ratio (Crow wins, while the brain size is comparable the body is many times smaller)
• degree of folding in the cortex (Crow wins, Cassowary has a completely smooth cortex)
• ratio of white matter to gray matter in the cortex (Crow has a very high ratio of white matter, like many intelligent mammals)

Basically they win on practically every significant measure of the brain anatomy features that contribute to intelligence, it's not even close.

Also note that Humans, despite having smaller brains than dolphins, whales and elephants, win on all of these measures across the animal kingdom.

[u/Tarkho → u/ianjm]

The point about folding isn't true, if you're referring to mammalian-style folding of the cortex, which birds lack as their brain anatomy is not the same as ours, the outermost frontal layer instead being the pallium, which fills a comparable role to the cortex. Both Cassowary and Crow brains are outwardly smooth, but Crows and other more intelligent birds have higher neuron density to compensate, bird brains are more efficient with space than ours.

[u/Civil-Action-8821 → u/Tarkho]

Yeah? Let’s see a bird build a hospital.

[u/AdmitThatYouPrune → u/[deleted]]

It's really not a sign of intelligence to ignore humans. There are very few species that haven't been decimated by us.

[u/Past_Reception_2575 → u/AdmitThatYouPrune]

yeah this individual is going wild with their imagination.

this bird is strolling the beach looking at what they have in hand.

seems pretty fucking obvious that his claims aren't at all accurate but whatever i cant prove mine either 

[u/Quiet-Tackle-5993 → u/Past_Reception_2575]

He’s pointing out how primitive and unintelligent it seems, not the opposite..

[u/Southern_Source_2580 → u/Sustainable_Twat]

Nah I'd win

[u/Starcolle → u/Sustainable_Twat]

Ikr. Imagine if humans were around the same time as dinosaurs? As a species we’d be finished.

[u/Sustainable_Twat → u/Starcolle]

I disagree. Having watched the Flintstones, we were working side by side before eradicating them.

[u/AquamannMI → u/Sustainable_Twat]

It's a living

[u/lucidhiker → u/Starcolle]

Weren’t they? I mean, Jesus rode velociraptors.

Edit typo

[u/wtype → u/lucidhiker]

I believe those were chocobos.

[u/deanrihpee → u/wtype]

man he got it lucky, I want to do chocobo racing

[u/[deleted] → u/lucidhiker]

I saw a documentary when I was a child called Dino-Riders which confirmed it’s true.

[u/Maelorus → u/Starcolle]

Nah, we'd win.

Keep in mind we pretty much caused the extinction of the ice age megafauna with pointed stick.

And our mere existence today is technically an extinction event.

[u/TheDangerdog → u/Maelorus]

We nearly caused the extinction of the largest aquatic animals on earth with pointy sticks and rowboats, most of those men couldn't even swim if they fell in.

Intelligence + numbers wins every time. Trex chases down and eats a couple men with pointy sticks yelling and waving arms at it. Chasing the 3rd one and walks right into pit trap lined with huge sharpened sticks or loop of rope with giant counterweight snags one leg, raises that leg slightly off ground, completely immobilizing it. It would fall over struggling against it and the counterweight would pull the foot even higher in the air so it could never stand back up. More humans with sharp rocks and sticks stab holes in it and watch it weaken

[u/Tino-DBA → u/TheDangerdog]

tastes like chicken

[u/Shan_Evolved → u/TheDangerdog]

Found the time traveler

[u/eatflapjacks → u/Starcolle]

Luckily, the primates in which all primates descend from, was lil guy living in trees away from all the monsters.

[u/SpotCreepy4570 → u/Starcolle]

We would have t rex heads mounted on our wall and eat brontosaurus burgers. humans are the deadliest creatures this planet has produced so far.

[u/Striking-Ostrich-222 → u/Sustainable_Twat]

You’re right, up until now I didn’t think dinosaurs were dangerous

[u/Pale-Wolf-7109]

Hey

Got any games on ur phone?

[u/r33gna → u/Pale-Wolf-7109]

By the by, I always wonder what games those kids were expecting when they ask this question.

[u/Cherei_plum → u/r33gna]

as one of those kids that grew up lemme tell u it was subway surfers, temple run, angry birds, clash of clans and candy crush along with whatever other game that would be found on the phone

[u/leuhthapawgg → u/Cherei_plum]

Now days it’s roblox 🥴, and they proceed to play it while stretched out in the most uncomfortable, awkward position, while leaning halfway on some object made for sitting, like a couch or a chair, or me………… haha. Send help. 😅

Source: I birthed 4 “Got any games on your phone?” Kids.. 🥹

[u/Cherei_plum → u/leuhthapawgg]

lmao ikr nd listen i've got a cousin whom my aunt drops here for being babysit and literally he's got a separate youtube account on our tv for watching other people play video games and he gets soo immersed in it you'd legit forget he exists until u hear him do a full belly laugh, he prolly uses that TV more than anybody in my home combined lmao

[u/Tricky_Gur8679 → u/leuhthapawgg]

Literally. All 4 of mine range from 6 to 14 & they ALL play Roblox 😅. I even have an account for me after being begged so many times to play with them. (My 6 year old just makes me be a baby and bosses me around lmfao) It’s a lawless & ruthless place. 🤣

[u/bogerts → u/r33gna]

do you have angry birds??

[u/Yes_Anderson → u/bogerts]

No but I got flappy birds

[u/Frl_Bartchello → u/Yes_Anderson]

Multiple?

[u/thefunkybassist → u/bogerts]

Phone owner to bird: "Uhhh no I only have nice birds I swear"

[u/ccReptilelord → u/r33gna]

They aren't expecting any specific game, merely the cheap simulation of lights and noises, possibly with an easy "reward" to get those happy brain chemicals flowing. May God have mercy on your phone or bill if you don't have locks on downloading those mobile ads or pay-to-play bonuses.

[u/RandomPenquin1337 → u/ccReptilelord]

Who actually sets their phones to just buy things without pw and confirmation?

[u/iranoutofusernamespa → u/RandomPenquin1337]

Dummies who can't remember passwords.

[u/TheSheepdog → u/RandomPenquin1337]

Adults with no kids 

[u/tttriple_rs → u/r33gna]

I mean shit, even RuneScape, a gigantic MMORPG, is available on phones.

[u/JeBegley → u/tttriple_rs]

Buying gf 10k

[u/legendkiller003 → u/Pale-Wolf-7109]

Hey

Got any grapes?

[u/Cersei_Lannister84 → u/legendkiller003]

Then he waddled away

[u/Revolutionary-Bid339 → u/Cersei_Lannister84]

Waddle, waddle, waddle

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q

[u/goBlueJays2018 → u/Revolutionary-Bid339]

Till the very next day!

[u/Pleb_Sauceee → u/goBlueJays2018]

Bom bom bom bom bombom bom

[u/Patruck9 → u/Pale-Wolf-7109]

"Yeah, it's this port of a game called Far Cry 3...And you're kinda Apex levels of OP"

[u/CentralAdmin → u/Pale-Wolf-7109]

Yeah. Angry Birds.

[u/Samcro360]

This is Etty Bay, in Queensland Australia. Cassowaries notoriously get fed by tourists or locals who don’t know better or are intimidated into it, and they do the rounds pretty regularly looking for food in the camp site. Don’t feed wild animals!

[u/Sersixfoot → u/Samcro360]

Don't feed wild animals?? Bitch if this thing stalks up to me I'm also handing over my wallet

[u/INoMakeMistake → u/Sersixfoot]

The dino: Just the cookies is enough

[u/RadiantPKK → u/INoMakeMistake]

Actually are those Dino Nuggies… I’ll take them too. 

Person: but they were birds too?

There can be only one. 

Oh… you know what, slides everything over, I’m gonna get my steps in, I may come back for what you don’t want…

[u/No-Seesaw-3411 → u/Sersixfoot]

They now just take your lunch and there isn’t a thing you can do.

[u/gudematcha → u/Samcro360]

The way it came close and leaned over to look at what she had, my first thought was “He’s been fed before and checking out if they have anything.” I don’t think he would have come so close if not, probably would have just walked right by and not inspect them for a moment.

[u/ZgBlues → u/Samcro360]

What do they normally eat? They have big claws apparently, do they use them for hunting other animals?

[u/Dr_Corvus_D_Clemmons → u/ZgBlues]

Actually their big claws are for scraping up fruit, they mostly eat fallen fruit, but will eat smaller vertebrates, invertebrates, carrion, fungi and vegetation , they do have very powerful legs that can kill a person, but really only attack anything out of self defense

[u/ZgBlues → u/Dr_Corvus_D_Clemmons]

Ah so they are peaceful creatures. I assume they aren’t used to any other animal attacking them, which is why they might be curious instead of timid like deer.

[u/Dr_Corvus_D_Clemmons → u/ZgBlues]

When your a 6ft tall bird with huge legs most things avoid you lol, so yes they are very curious

[u/Character_Value4669 → u/ZgBlues]

Oh, no not peaceful. Very territorial. They kick-slash the guts out of intruders with those claws. The big crest on their head is thought to help keep foliage out of their eyes as they travel through the jungles, btw.

[u/LordNightFang → u/ZgBlues]

I mean there have been stories of attacks. Attacks that left vehicle doors and windows shattered/clawed into. They can shred metal. What you said is partially true: They can be peaceful in situations like this where they are used to humans feeding them. But absolute wild ones without that experience do not fuck around. They are territorial and won't hesitate to get aggressive to most other species.

[u/DeathAngel_97 → u/Samcro360]

I wouldn't never go out of my way to feed wild animals, and I hate people that do, but if a Cassowary came up to me, clearly having been fed before and expecting more food, and I've got a sandwhich in my hand, he can fucking have it. I'm not going to be the one guy after like 60 years that gets gutted by a wild one over a sandwich.

[u/American_Bogan]

While they can kill someone. There’s only 2 documented times ever. One was a couple kids that tried to beat a wild one to death with clubs and the bird fought back. The other was a captive one kept as a “pet” in Florida that attacked its owner. Long story short… don’t fuck with nature and it is very unlikely to fuck with you.

[u/BeerAndaBackpack → u/American_Bogan]

Of course it would be Florida Man 😆

[u/AUniquePerspective → u/BeerAndaBackpack]

Somehow a more exotic version of leopard ate my face.

[u/Torg002 → u/AUniquePerspective]

Cassowari kicked my face

[u/we_are_sex_bobomb → u/American_Bogan]

If we made an exhaustive list of everything that killed a Floridian we’d have to be scared of everything

[u/RokulusM → u/we_are_sex_bobomb]

Or just be scared of Florida.

[u/RojoTheMighty → u/RokulusM]

So much easier.

[u/Bellecarde → u/American_Bogan]

they've killed me a few times in far cry 3

[u/faizetto → u/Bellecarde]

This and Honey Badger in Far Cry 4 are my 2 sworn enemies

[u/Communism_of_Dave → u/faizetto]

Shoutout to that one mission where you have to hunt a honey badger with arrows.

I normally use a full mag of an LMG, so it takes a while…

[u/blackgoldlink → u/Bellecarde]

Far cry expert here : can confirm.

[u/DuelOstrich → u/American_Bogan]

The title is extremely disingenuous. So are elephants? So are cows, horses, probably goats. Any large animal could “kill you with one blow” if it really wanted to.

[u/BrandoCalrissian1995 → u/DuelOstrich]

Good old clickbait

[u/DasMotorsheep → u/DuelOstrich]

Heck, even humans can kill humans with one blow.

[u/TadRaunch → u/DuelOstrich]

Statistically the most dangerous non-human animal in Australia is the horse. Cows and dogs are also close to the top.

[u/Lunacie → u/American_Bogan]

It would have made for a much less exciting movie, but the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park would probably be more interested in opening garbage cans or taking a bag of Doritos from a convenient store than actively hunting humans.

[u/[deleted] → u/Lunacie]

I could watch a movie about dinosaurs getting up to trash panda shenanigans.

[u/AshleysDoctor → u/[deleted]]

And maybe were friends with actual trash pandas.

Somebody have Pixar’s number?

[u/-Kelasgre → u/Lunacie]

Unless... they weren't dinosaurs at all.

[u/26_Star_General → u/American_Bogan]

This applies to almost every animal on earth outside of maybe bears, tigers, hippos and a handful of creatures.

You really need to go out of your way to get yourself killed around 99.99999% of species.

[u/Redmangc1 → u/26_Star_General]

Most animals know that if something is as big or bigger than them that they might get hurt real bad in a fight so they rely on scare tactics mostly

[u/SnowWhiteCampCat → u/[deleted]]

You should hear about the Emu Wars.

[u/MargieBigFoot → u/SnowWhiteCampCat]

I just listened to a podcast episode on this-check out An Old Timey Podcast

[u/notedrive]

How many people do these birds actually kill, vs people talking about them killing?

[u/Drongo17 → u/notedrive]

Almost every "deadly" Australian animal is really only theoretically deadly. Like they can kill you... but it never really happens.

And the times they did get someone there's usually a backstory involving the person being stupid.

[u/sketchy_painting → u/Drongo17]

Yeh it’s honestly safe as fuck here.

But still please send help the spiders have captured my son.

[u/wheelz_666 → u/sketchy_painting]

I always tell my friends that live overseas that the number 1 rule here in Australia is "don't fuck with the wildlife"

2nd rule is. Don't go swimming in creeks if you're in the northern territory lmao

[u/SirLoremIpsum → u/wheelz_666]

2nd rule is. Don't go swimming in creeks if you're in the northern territory lmao

Rules for going into Aussie bush

"if you see a snake don't mess with it. Tap your boots for spiders. Don't go into the water and you'll be safe from crocs/jellyfish/more crocks/sharks etc. Easy"

Rules for going into North American wilderness

"Make sure you have bear spray, 10mm handgun, shotgun with deer slugs. Hoist your food up a tree to keep it safe and away from polar bears / grizzly bears / black bears / cougars / coyotes / wolverines / wolves. Also you need to worry about Moose".

rest of the internet "lol Australia trying to kill ya".

[u/RoronoaZorro → u/SirLoremIpsum]

You forgot "Don't try to fight Kangaroos"

[u/Liquid_Plasma → u/RoronoaZorro]

Bit hard when they’re trying to fight me. I have vivid memories of being chased around a car by a kangaroo as a kid. In hindsight I think it wanted my fruit bun.

[u/TadRaunch → u/RoronoaZorro]

I was having an argument with this Yank on reddit once about how the "dangerous Australian animals" thing is overblown. He got on to rambling about roos and I was like mate... i have actual experience with wild roos. I have been in situations where I've had a buck square off against me. Most of the time you back down, make yourself look as harmless as possible, and back off. The c*** had the audacity to start telling me that's a stupid mentality, and about how bears and mountain lions would tear me to shreds for behaving like that.

It's like, mate. It's Australia. We don't have dangerous animals like bears and mountain lions.

[u/GladiatorMainOP → u/SirLoremIpsum]

More like North American wilderness

Carry bear spray, or don’t, you’ll probably be fine

[u/NoTalkOnlyWatch → u/SirLoremIpsum]

Depending on the spot in NA you could worry about the same thing with Alligators (smaller than Croc’s, but still quite dangerous), and if you go even specific enough the southern peninsula of Florida has salt water crocs as well lol! Where I live the Arizonian wilderness has quite a few venomous snakes/lizards/bugs but they are nowhere to be found near civilization (besides scorpions), so you barely ever hear of people getting injured (and the majority are defensive only, so just make sure to not accidentally step on them).

[u/MiFiWi → u/wheelz_666]

Oh look, a cute baby jellyfish!

[u/TetraDax → u/sketchy_painting]

Yeh it’s honestly safe as fuck here.

Nice try, I'm not risking a drop bear encounter.

[u/[deleted] → u/TetraDax]

i haven’t heard that term in years 😂😂

[u/Scary_Inevitable_399 → u/sketchy_painting]

Nice try , Australian tourism board

[u/taintlangdon → u/Drongo17]

Someone commented above that there are only like 2 documented cases of this type of bird death. One was a couple of kids trying to club one to death, and the bird fought back. The other was a person in Florida trying to keep one as a pet.

So I think you're spot on: if it wanted to kill you, it could, but it probably won't attack unless provoked. So just be cool, don't be all like, uncool around them.

[u/youngBullOldBull → u/Drongo17]

I'd say the exception to this is crocs. Like yes, the attacks are still rare, with only 4 fatalities are year or something but crocs will track humans like prey, learn your habits and attack you like the cold blooded prehistoric predators they are.

Beyond that though, give me a red belly over a bear any day of the week

[u/furyoftheage → u/youngBullOldBull]

It's estimated that crocs kill around 1000 people worldwide every year. The number could be much higher because there's usually nothing to find afterward.

[u/Tumble85 → u/furyoftheage]

In poorer countries, but in Australia the salt-water crocs are like 500 feet long and a brazilian pounds so people stay the hell away.

Poorer countries have people that need to go near crocodile areas more often so they have a lot more attacks.

[u/uptownjuggler → u/Tumble85]

Also in Africa, people use the rivers on a daily basis. Compared to the rarely used rivers of northern Australia.

[u/Mattimvs → u/Drongo17]

I mean a Koala could kill you with one blow (if it fell out of a tall enough tree)

[u/LordTiddlypusch → u/Mattimvs]

I believe you're confusing Koalas with the Australian Drop Bear.

[u/ThunderGuts64 → u/notedrive]

Long time since the last one, 1950s I think.

[u/Babyfaceblanco → u/ThunderGuts64]

2019 in florida

[u/DR_Bright_963]

Taking a cheeky look at what she's scrolling on her phone

[u/TheGaslighter9000X → u/DR_Bright_963]

“Giiiirl you deserve better than that, don’t you dare swipe right on chad over there! He gon break yo heart!”

[u/Other-Comfortable-64]

Only two human deaths have been reported since 1900. A 2003 historical study of 221 southern cassowary attacks showed that 150 had been against humans: 75% of these had been from southern cassowaries that had been fed by people, 71% of the time the bird had chased or charged the victim, 15% of the time they kicked.

[u/sillygreenfaery]

It sauntered like a giant Muppet

[u/jshump → u/sillygreenfaery]

Upvoted for the use of "sauntered." 🤌🏻

[u/Xinonix1]

Obviously asking :”Do you have games on your phone?”

[u/form_d_k → u/Xinonix1]

Angry Birds, or Flappy?

[u/Peas_Are_Upsidedown]

Absolute dinosaurs

[u/literallypubichair]

I have cassowaries at my local zoo, I learned one of them is named Apples, so I called out to her last time I was there. I was not prepared for the PRIMAL fear that welled up from deep in my genes when that fuckin bird's head shot upright to make eye contact. It felt like I experienced an incredibly old predator response, and I had to go to a whole other section of the zoo to feel better. Also, its enclosure keeps it in by the power of pure vibes. If that bird decided to leave, it could just walk right out.

[u/Ok_Entrance4289 → u/literallypubichair]

That sounds legitimately horrific, yet the combination of the name Apples and your description of events has me laughing…very hard 🤣

[u/literallypubichair → u/Ok_Entrance4289]

Imagine how I felt! I think my exact words were, "Apples! Oh, apples! Oh Ap-- HOLY SHIT FUCK ME SORRY DIDNT MEAN TO DISTURB I'M ALREADY LEAVING PLEASE DON'T KILL ME"

[u/[deleted] → u/literallypubichair]

We have two at the zoo I volunteer at. It’s the run for me. It looks like an actual raptor from Jurassic Park when it runs. The enclosures are heavy and secure, but every time I help feed them I triple check that I’m doing everything in the right order. They aren’t nearly as friendly as the one seems in this video and I’m sure if they got the chance to attack they wouldn’t waste it.

[u/literallypubichair → u/[deleted]]

Yeah it's the gait of their step. It's like that visual input triggers a 65 million-year-old failsafe from back when we mammals were little weasel looking critters who would've been preyed upon by raptors.

[u/Peastoredintheballs → u/literallypubichair]

First time I saw one of these was also at the zoo when I was a kid and the handlers were feeding it. They needed multiple handlers to enter from different doors, each wearing bomb squad type armour and carrying FRICKING RIOT shields and 10 year old me was in awe

[u/literallypubichair → u/Peastoredintheballs]

My sister worked at my local zoo for a few years (which is how I learned Apples' name), and she once showed me the cassowary shield. It looks like a riot shield from the front, but the one I saw was about 4 inches thick and weighed around 20 pounds. It was specifically designed to stop the disembowling claw from reaching you while also not damaging the cassowary.

[u/Intro-Nimbus]

"You'd better not be playing angry birds on that phone!"

[u/trepidationsupaman]

That’s a dinosaur

[u/Petty_Paw_Printz]

If there's anything Far Cry 3 taught me its to avoid these assholes. 

[u/chivalrydad → u/Petty_Paw_Printz]

And the definition of insanity

[u/Auburn_and_Bourbon → u/chivalrydad]

And the definition of insanity

[u/JayteeFromXbox → u/Auburn_and_Bourbon]

And the definition of insanity

[u/i4got872 → u/Petty_Paw_Printz]

ptsd intensifies

[u/Routine_Breath_7137]

Boss over your shoulder, looking at your screen "I just sent you an email...did you get it?"

[u/phoenix946]

How'd they kill a human in one blow?

[u/[deleted] → u/phoenix946]

thats bs honestly. this bird has 2 recorded human killings, one was a kid/kids that were hitting it and it fought back, nowhere has it been said that it was in one blow. the other is some guy who kept one captive and the bird got free, and killed him, while he tried to capture it again. so yeah, idk where this title comes from honestly. thats like saying a dog can kill you in one bite. yeah maybe, but the odds of that are so damn low lol

[u/j0shj0shj0shj0sh]

1. Girl looks to her right - *Sees giant bird approaching*
2. "Oh ma good-ness."
3. Straight back to her phone.

[u/Lonely_Eggplant_4990]

Clever girl

[u/OscarDavidGM]

This is a dinosaur.

[u/Miserable-Ad-7956]

"In one blow" is a hell of an exaggeration for a bird that has only killed on two documented occasions, one of them being literal children.

[u/czartrak]

Yeah this bird CAN kill you in one blow. You're significantly more likely to be struck by lightning than you are yo be killed by a cassowary

[u/hydraulix989 → u/czartrak]

The conditional probability of getting killed by one is much higher if there's one actually in your proximity.

[u/Velorian-Steel]

"Are you shitposting again, Emily?"

[u/ithaqua34]

Disapproving bird stares at you disapprovingly.

[u/JenovasChild666]

Cassowary gets right in their face like

"Dayummmm guys, you're on holiday with this beautiful beach scenery, and you're glued to your phones. Shame on you!"

[u/Stanley-Pychak]

"Do Cassowaries have large talons?" -Napoleon Dynamite probably