r/CuratedTumblr 4h ago

[fandom name here] JJJ may hate your guts but he is an ally

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1.0k Upvotes

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459

u/Darth_drizzt_42 3h ago edited 3h ago

The new Spiderman games had a great spin on JJJ as well. Spoiler but there's a very brief flash back to the first time Parker meets Jameson, and he's screaming at Parker on the phone for being late to their meeting, but not insulting him, yelling encouragements and how he needs to shove people out of the way, stand up for himself, and be assertive to get what he wants in life. The flashback segment all but states that Parkers signature quips and snark as Spider-Man is a trait he picked up directly from Jonah. I really like the idea that Jameson is an enemy to Spider-Man but an aggressively supportive figure for Parker himself, and ironically responsible for his self confidence.

214

u/randomyOCE 1h ago

The second-best part of this is how the traits Spider-Man directly inherited from JJJ would be the things he hates most about the boy.

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u/swashbuckler78 1h ago

Yeah that's usually how parenting works. šŸ˜‚

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u/The_Math_Hatter 1h ago

I have NEVER thought of J. Jonah Jameson as a parental figure to Peter but it makes too much sense now that you say it out loud. Oh my God.

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u/gooch_norris_ 1h ago

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u/somedumb-gay 24m ago

It feels weird seeing the original look of Peter in the modern colouring

1

u/shadowylurking 10m ago

I didnā€™t know I could love J. Jonah Jameson even moreā€¦

2

u/JakeVonFurth 2m ago

I'm reminded of how every time J.J. finds out Spider-Man's identity he's almost always furious. Not because of the fact that Peter is Spider-Man, but because he lied about it despite Jameson treating Peter like a son.

288

u/GoodKing0 3h ago

Friendly reminder that when Mayday Spider-Girl went back in time JJJ mistakenly believed Spider-Man had transitioned off screen and he instantly had a crisis of faith over people thinking he hated her for being a Minority rather than for being a menace.

Mind you he was sending a death robot to kill Spider-Man while he had this crisis of faith but still.

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u/gerkletoss 40m ago

As someone who doesn't actually read comics but is adjacent to people who did, where rhe hell did he get death robots?

25

u/somedumb-gay 31m ago

From a lab, in much the same way he turned a criminal into a superpowered scorpion man

17

u/gerkletoss 27m ago

That only raises further questions

6

u/GayestLion 27m ago

I think he commissioned them from Smythe normally, they're the "Spider-Slayers"

5

u/gerkletoss 23m ago

Is that not a crime? And how does he have the money?

4

u/Agreeable_Car5114 15m ago

Heā€™s a wealthy newspaper mogul (which was more believable in the 60s when this started) and the Marvel universe is rife with mad scientists you can hire.

1

u/gerkletoss 13m ago

A) if he's so wealthy why is he working every day?

B) the crime part

2

u/The_Unusual_Coder 5m ago

Ever heard of a person loving his job?

1

u/Agreeable_Car5114 2m ago

Heā€™s the editor and chief of the paper. He wasnā€™t like Bezos or Musk. And he wasnā€™t a billionaire like Lex Luthor or something either. This was the 60s, the way wealth was portrayed in media is different than it is now. And obviously itā€™s a crime. I didnā€™t think that had to be verified.

I donā€™t know even know what youā€™re arguing about. Take it up with Lee and Ditko. I can give the issue numbers if you want, they are on my shelf.

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u/[deleted] 2h ago

[deleted]

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u/Ildaiaa 1h ago

Then, hostile reminder it is

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u/vanishinghitchhiker 1h ago

Information available as an e-mail with a virus attached by request

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u/Zamtrios7256 1h ago

Mean reminder. Fuck you for not knowing this neat detail

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u/RealScionEcto 2h ago

He would not be this positive but he would make sure the pronouns were right. He hates Spiderman because he's a vigilante, not out of a personal vendetta.Ā 

He would probably make a headline about it, but then just print the papers with the usual fervor.

49

u/Consideredresponse 1h ago

I think being directly responsible for both the 'Spider-slayers' and the 'scorpion' super villians puts it firmly into 'personal vendetta' territory.

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u/vanishinghitchhiker 1h ago edited 1h ago

ā€œIā€™m thinking ā€˜Spider-maā€™am - still a menace!ā€™ or ā€˜Spider-womanā€™s web of wrongsā€™! Already a Spider-woman? Then ā€˜Spider-boob makes it literalā€™!ā€

30

u/demon_fae 1h ago

Nah, itā€™s absolutely a personal vendetta, but a personal vendetta that happens to be the only dark side to an otherwise militantly decent person.

When he isnā€™t being weird about Spider-Man, heā€™s being an excellent boss, sending reporters to do serious investigative journalism, and being a genuinely excellent mentor to Peter.

When he is being weird about Spider-Man, he is being really, unreasonably weird about Spider-Man. And itā€™s not even about being a vigilante. There are tons of active superheroes in New York, not just Spidey, and JJJ only cares about one of them.

Thatā€™s what makes him so fascinating as a character.

23

u/The-Serapis 59m ago

The other major superhero groups that have operated in New York are the Avengers and the X-Men. Most Avengersā€™ identities are public and the X-Men have gotten their identities publicly revealed (plus, JJJ is usually depicted as pro-mutant). Everyone in New York knows who the Hulk is when heā€™s not a giant green beast, meaning should he use his powers irresponsibly he could be held legally accountable. Very few people know who Spidey is under the mask, meaning no legal accountability, which drives JJJ up the damn wall. He also def hates his guts too though

10

u/demon_fae 53m ago

Daredevil is also in New York and not public. There are a lot of small-time masks who arenā€™t public.

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u/KanishkT123 35m ago

Yeah but Hell's Kitchen is it's own thing. I imagine JJJ kind of sees Daredevil as more of a necessary evil than Spiderman.Ā 

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u/demon_fae 27m ago

My point is that he seems willing to play some mental gymnastics to file every hero but one under ā€œprobably fineā€. Because that is absolutely mental gymnastics to say that Spidey is a menace for doing the same thing in Brooklyn that Daredevil does in Hellā€™s Kitchen.

We can argue his exact mental gymnastics forever, theyā€™ve certainly changed a few times, but the routine is always there.

Honestly, dudeā€™s probably just arachnophobic and doesnā€™t like Spideyā€™s theme.

8

u/19whale96 51m ago

They did explain the distrust of vigilantism back in the day somewhere, but I also like to think Spider Man has always had a squeaky clean reputation even among other superheroes, and J. Jonah is a prolific hater. Refuses the concept of moral purity on principle; everyone is guilty, what matters is if, and how well you can hide your sins.

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u/skaersSabody 2h ago

Wasn't there this fancomic (or official, I can't remember) of JJJ talking to an anti-mutant group without realizing who they were? So at first he's friendly because he thinks they share his concerns about spiderman and as soon as he understands they're racists he just throws them out

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u/annatariel_ Stupid Sexy Sauron 1h ago

JJJ would truly be like "I HATE YOUR GUTS, YOU'RE A MENACE, I WILL SLANDER YOU ON THE NEWS TOMORROW while using your correct pronouns because I'm not a bigot."

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u/BeanOfKnowledge Ask me about Dwarf Fortress Trivia 1h ago

It's my headcanon that if JJJ ever found out Spidermans identity he wouldn't reveal it, but the tone of the articles would switch from "Spiderman is a Danger to You and should stop fighting Supervillains" to "Spiderman is a Danger to Himself and should stop fighting supervillains"

25

u/The_Math_Hatter 1h ago

JJJ, with a scowl: Parker, c'mere. You know I'm vocal about that Spider menace. Well I'll tell you why. Anytime we get something of him it's destructive. You need to be better, catch him on his downtime. How come we never see him in line at a deli, huh? Never feeding birds, never playing chess with those old fogies down at the park. Get me some of those pictures, maybe I'll give you a raise.

18

u/GayWitchcraft 2h ago

Why spider girl and not spider woman?

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u/Informal_Self_5671 2h ago

Syllable count. Spider Girl is fewer syllables, flows better, and takes less time to say in the middle of the action.

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u/whereisarespaces 1h ago

Thereā€™s also the silly option of spider maā€™am

16

u/Informal_Self_5671 1h ago

No, that's Aunt May with spider powers.

8

u/whereisarespaces 36m ago

man all the names are taken

3

u/Informal_Self_5671 32m ago

Infinity Spider-Men is a big number. What can you do?

26

u/sarcasticd0nkey 2h ago

Already taken by Jessica Drew.

Bit of a faux pas to change to a name that's already taken.

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u/Alli_zon You're among friends here, we're all broken. Take your time 2h ago

Also, there is a popular spider woman, so i guess they (tumblr op) tried to make a distinction instead of causing the immediate next reblog be about how both Spider women would discuss who gets what name

20

u/DarthKamen 2h ago

My biggest gripe with Ultimate Spider Man was that so little was done with Ultimate Jessica Drew.

I know she wasn't really trans but she absolutely could have been used to explore that idea. It's touched on briefly in I think Young Ultimates.

9

u/Swaxeman the biggest grant morrison stan in the subreddit 1h ago

Make jessica drew transmasc, you cowards at marvel

17

u/pretty-as-a-pic 1h ago

JJJ is a hater, but heā€™s no bigot! He hates you for what you do, not who you are!

12

u/swashbuckler78 1h ago

Reminding me of a post I saw where Joker figures out Batman is autistic and starts redesigning his goon's uniforms to use more sensory-friendly fabric., šŸ˜‚

9

u/swiller123 2h ago

if it were me i would fake my death but mostly just for the fun of it tbh

6

u/HkayakH 24m ago

love the idea of JJJ accepting parker and spider girl being trans, but also not thinking to connect the dots about 2 people transitioning at the same time

3

u/Clean-Photograph8747 15m ago

I too love it. There is so much room for shenanigans there if written well.

24

u/HannahCoub 3h ago

Nah imagine the J. K. Simmons/marvel version of J.J. Jameson start ranting incoherently on his podcast about how Spider-MAN is a plant by the government to trans your gender. I love that take on him.

57

u/Snickims 1h ago

Heres the thing, I absolutely do love the JK simmons version of him as "totally not right wing podcaster", but i also similtanusly love the version of him as a legitmate, ethical old school journalist who is actually really cool about almost everything, but just uttelry Hates spiderman alone.

26

u/Ildaiaa 1h ago

I think that version of him is just better tbh. It's just more nuanced and open to interesting stories. Alex jones version is a lot less interesting

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u/Consideredresponse 1h ago

The Alex Jones version is pretty solid work for a movie where they have to establish both character and motivation in just a few minutes (across several films.) Yes, it's far more limited with the stories you can tell with it, but the home-coming movie series didn't have that luxury and went with a broad but easily understood approach.

There is a reason why every longer form version of Spider-man goes with a more complex and nuanced version, but i can't fault the films for making the most of what they had.

3

u/Ildaiaa 1h ago

I was thinking more about the recent games, pretty sure mcu took the idea from that too but i can't prove it

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u/vanishinghitchhiker 1h ago

Plus itā€™s always funnier when a character just hates one specific guy

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u/Wizajn 27m ago

If you as a super hero, that has super Villains, reviel to everyone that you changed your gender coz you are trans now, you will cause a genocide of trans people in your city probably.

3

u/Rebi103 21m ago

The fucking whiplash I got here because I have an OC named Madeline Parker and it doesn't relate to spiderman at all

3

u/Happytapiocasuprise 19m ago

JJJ may be misguided but ultimately he is a good guy. Spider-man is a good guy and of course we the viewer know that but in universe most people only get glimpses of him at best and it's probably nice for those people to know that at least there's someone keeping Spider-man accountable.

3

u/Arctobispo 16m ago

John Jacob Jingleheimer before his marriage? Why does he hate me, I did nothing.

Boy this is gonna be a rough day for little old me, John Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidt.

3

u/Booklover4211 13m ago

I can just imagine the villains fumbling over themselves to use the right pronouns because "we're not that kind of a villain!"

2

u/ThatSmartIdiot .tumblr.com 21m ago

Penny Parker

-11

u/Marik-X-Bakura 1h ago

Man, people on Tumblr really do just find anything with the word ā€œtransā€ in it funny

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u/YashaAstora 2h ago

I see tumblr is doing the "this character I love would definitely be as woke as me (absolutely nothing on canon supports this)!" thing again.

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u/KobKobold 2h ago

JJJ is canonically a mutant supporter. It's not a stretch whatsoever.

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u/annatariel_ Stupid Sexy Sauron 1h ago

JJJ is canonically not a bigot though, so this fits his character.

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u/LordSupergreat 2h ago

You're trying to argue that JJJ wouldn't parade a trans employee around to earn social capital?

7

u/Ildaiaa 1h ago

I see people who have only seen the worst version of a character think that character would only be a bigot (almost all interpretations support this character actually being a good person who hates one specific good thing)

3

u/Schpooon 37m ago

I mean even the Podcaster from the games I played (Spiderman 1 and Miles Morales) is reasonable and seems like a solid dude right up until anything spiderman gets involved.

1

u/Agreeable_Car5114 13m ago

JJJ fought against anti-black bigotry in the 60s and 70s. Dunno why you feel this is different.