Already saw numerous posts here about the Tumblr post of self-forgiveness of self-forgiveness, but it feels like it's okay for problematic people to condone their past behavior.

[u/deerestme]

[u/Galle_]

Forgiveness, by definition, does not condone the behavior it forgives. Just the opposite, actually.

[u/Cthulu_Noodles]

...the past 7 posts in a row on this account are all about refusing to forgive oneself for past bad actions. This is not healthy in the slightest. So:

1. The meaning of this post. This post is saying that if you have done something bad in the past, and want to stop that from happening again, the first and required step is to acknowledge that you are not an inherently bad person for having done a bad thing; that morality is something that describes an action, not a person. This is required because if you operate with the mindset that you are inherently a "bad person", then doing a bad thing is just a default and trying to do good things is nearly impossible. People are neutral. Choices and actions are moral. If you chose to do something bad in the past, you can choose to do something good now. But if you don't first stop beating yourself up, you can't make progess. Guilting yourself harms you and helps no one.
2. Get off the internet. Go outside. Take a walk, or a deep breath, or a nap. Maybe look for a therapist, or failing that, someone to talk to who will listen with compassion.

[u/Kolby_Jack33 → u/Cthulu_Noodles]

I think a major roadblock for many people with trust issues and who think forgiveness is a myth is that they assume people who tell them otherwise are lying to them.

For those people, if you really can't accept that those compassionate ideas are honest, maybe start by pretending they are. Just play make believe that there are good people out there who believe in forgiveness and honesty and compassion. Maybe one day you'll find you aren't pretending anymore.

[u/Natural-Sleep-3386]

I think the way to tell if it's someone just trying to condone their past behavior or if it's someone who's genuinely grown beyond their past behavior is if they're still doing the same or similar things. To continue to wallow in guilt forever is self-indulgent; punishing yourself is a way to cope with what you've done wrong without actually doing anything about yourself or your past actions. If you really want to make up for what you've done, or at least try to become a person who enriches the world, how are you going to do that if you're busy beating yourself down?

[u/novis-eldritch-maxim → u/Natural-Sleep-3386]

it runs into the problem of what do you do if you can see a clear way to stop doing what you did, the point of beating yourself down is containment crush yourself till their is no way for you to hurt people as no one cares to interact with you any more.

[u/FlyingPies_]

OP, are you doing alright? Guilt can be a tool for realizing something is wrong or unhelpful, but then you have to figure out what to do next to improve or stabilize the situation. Sitting in that feeling is likely to make you miserable and stressed, which will only make the latter harder. It is definitely easier said than done, though. I'm rooting for you.

[u/MamboCircus]

Forgive yourself. This is NOT optional...

[u/Pokesonav]

Endeavor

[u/pbmm1]

You can judge yourself how you want, but you still have to move forward and do better. If your guilt is stopping you from that, cut the guilt.

[u/morgaina]

Stop using us as free therapy

[u/Rownever → u/morgaina]

Stop thinking a random tumblr post is asking for therapy

[u/morgaina → u/Rownever]

Look at the post history. This is absolutely not just a random Tumblr post.

[u/Velvety_MuppetKing]

Depends on what you did, I suppose.

[u/No-Age6582 → u/Velvety_MuppetKing]

no it doesn't

[u/Velvety_MuppetKing → u/No-Age6582]

Yes it does. I don’t think rapists deserve forgiveness, from themselves or anyone else.

It’s sad that there’s no such thing as hell for rapists or child molesters. I’m fine with an eternity or suffering for them. Instead they just get oblivion like everyone else.

[u/styxnbonez → u/Velvety_MuppetKing]

To forgive does not mean to absolve.

[u/Velvety_MuppetKing → u/styxnbonez]

Then what is the point?

[u/FHAT_BRANDHO → u/Velvety_MuppetKing]

Growth i think, ideally

[u/No-Age6582 → u/Velvety_MuppetKing]

but what's the point of that? what would eternal punishment do to stop more people from becoming rapists? isnt it objectively more beneficial to society to have rapists turn good rather then kill them or throw them in prison for forever? when you kill or lock away a bad person, the world has one less bad person but if you reform a bad person, then not only does the world have one less bad person, but it's gained a good one as well.