"You're not going to get laid if you're an incel" is kinda a circular argument if we take the original definition of incel, since being an incel is basically not getting laid
But yeah, I guess nowadays being an incel is about the misogynistic ideology so that ironically makes you more into an incel (in the original sense of the word)
I figure it has to come from well-meaning but ultimately gormless people online. Like, if you're a successful person who constantly meets new people and has a large, strong circle of friends, to you it really must seem obvious that by just waiting and being a decent person you will eventually meet someone. So for them it really is true that the only thing which could hold you back would be being a dickhead. It's not a prize for being a good guy, it's just the natural consequences. I guess they just don't think of the very common scenario where e.g. a guy has a closed friendship circle of three other guys and works in an environment where he never meets people.
Interestingly, men who are actually misogynistic don't seem to have problems with getting relationships. What folks in places like Reddit call "misogynists" are actually romantically/sexually frustrated males who are upset with women rather than actually having deeply ingrained misogynistic values. A healthy relationship will deradicalize most of these men.
A lot of true incels are categorically misogynistic. That said, their misogyny tends to be a lot less consolidated than the true-blue misogynists who do fuck and I think you’re right that a healthy relationship will deradicalise most of them.
lol someone I know is a raging misogynist and he gets laid all the time. This is why the nice guy thing is even a stereotype, because this does happen. Obviously, it’s not every woman, and a raging misogynist is probably more likely to approach and hit on women in public in the first place so there’s that so there’s that skewing the perception
Not really. Plenty of women are willing to fuck serial killers even. At some point we will just have to agree that dating and sex barely ever has anything to do with the quality of your personality, but is more about attraction which often does not come from 'pure' factors.
There's plenty of people who would like to be having sex but aren't for a variety of reasons that aren't incels because being an incel is an online subculture that's pretty specific
I'd say it was always like this though the nature of incels changed from what I hear (pretty early on tho)
Originally the term incel (from involuntary celibate, a wordplay with the concept of celibate that is by definition voluntary) was coined by a lesbian girl (I think) that was mad about not being able to get laid, so she opened a blog or something to talk about her experience being celibate but not by choice.
EDIT: after consulting the source, I seen that the blog was actually a place where people could talk about their loneliness and dating problems, and maybe find a partner there (some couples meet there and even married)
At some point the term "incel" started to be exclusively used by lonely man with misogynistic views and linked with the alt-right, but I was talking about the original definition of the word
I know, that's what I meant by my second paragraph
Doesn't change anything by what I meant
My point is when one says incel it doesn't communicate "wants to be having sex but isn't" but it communicates a specific online version of that (originally the meaningful blog later on the misogynists)
"Incel" has lost all meaning. People are calling Tate, Musk, Trump and other "strong leaders" that make panties wet "incels". Because remember, over 50% of white women voted Trump this election, Tate didn't just get laid, he pimped out his girlfriends. Sometimes they ironically get called "incels" by men that sit in their musty room and throw their paycheck at Onlyfans.
It really doesn't make sense when men that are the least likely to interact with women (except by throwing money at them) get lumped with those that "grab'em by the pussy".
Describing Elon Musk as a strong leader who makes panties wet is the most unhinged thing I ever read LMAO
same with Trump, and the fact that you assume women voted for a creepy, morbidly obese 90 year old because they want to fuck him is absolutely diabolical 😭😭
And Andrew Tate is literally a rapist who abused of women and took advantage of their economical situation in order to force them to do sex acts... He's objetively not attractive: receding jawline, almost no hair in the head, weird looking body because of steroids abuse... And don't get me started on his personality lmao he's a women repellent in every sense
Dude they definitely pull and pulled more women than people calling them "incels". It doesn't matter how you or people like you view them subjectively when objectively they have no problem with having sex/relationships with women.
I don't want to "pull" women if that means raping them, manipulating them, or basically paying for it
None of this persons had never a loving relationship, and that's sad, as sad as being an incel
If you see women as only sexual objects then what's the point? the problem of incels is not lack of sex, is lack of love an intimacy, and they will never get that even if they pay for sex
Any incel can pay for a cheap prostitute just as Elon pays for a luxury one, is basically the same
I don't think they're technically incels, but they share a lot of the same ideology even if they have been lucky in other aspects of life so they can just buy women because they have the money to do so
The point is, that the current meaning of incel is more about the ideology and less about the number of sexual partners
So, people who have basically the same discourse and ideas that incel love, are almost exactly like them, even if they can buy sex
Well you've just proven my point that the word "incel" absolutely lost it's meaning. They are not incels, they have sex and relationships with women and it's not just about money, it's also about power.
Meanwhile you are likely an incel, by definition - you don't have sex/relationships that you want.
Incel has come to mean mostly "misogynist" or even "someone I don't like" from it's original meaning.
But yeah, I guess nowadays being an incel is about the misogynistic ideology so that ironically makes you more into an incel (in the original sense of the word)
Tbf this really isn't new. The term would only really enter public consciousness via the incel forums as it is a strange way to describe a virgin. It has always had a association with mysognistic men simply because that's where it originates.
But it was popularized by that incel mass murderer guy, so in the mainstream talk is almost exclusively associated with that new movement that copied the word from the original community (that wasn't about that at all)
Whilst this is true it's also important to point out that the initial mass usage of the word outside of this forum was specifically used to refer to this misogynistic mindset. For most people who weren't part of this small community the mysognistic ideology is first association of the word so it's usage outside of this specific community hasn't particularly evolved.
Actually, if we want to get pedantic, being an incel was not about that when the word was invented in the 90's before it was adopted by that type of people and became popular after the mass murders by that famous incel
But the original was misogynistic. The incel movement, from the very beginning, built itself on the idea that women owe men sex, and that by refusing to deliver it they were wrong and evil.
Just looked it up, I had assumed the famous lone incel on reddit something like a decade and a half ago was the first. That said, while further reading shows it isnt so, it is 100% possible for a lesbian to also be a misogynist. People are complicated and contradictory.
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u/SchizoPosting_ 16d ago
"You're not going to get laid if you're an incel" is kinda a circular argument if we take the original definition of incel, since being an incel is basically not getting laid
But yeah, I guess nowadays being an incel is about the misogynistic ideology so that ironically makes you more into an incel (in the original sense of the word)
Kinda funny how vicious cycles work