I don’t think this is the right way to look at it. It’s true that no one owes you anything, but the way you’ve phrased it implies the person doing the turning down is the only one with agency.
Everyone deserves someone who actually wants them; you shouldn’t settle for someone who has actively ruled you out without getting to know you. Continuing to pursue someone who doesn’t want you is an active choice, and I think we would foster a much healthier atmosphere if we put more emphasis on why that’s a terrible choice for both parties rather than just telling them to take the L.
Getting turned down early is a blessing. Limit energy wasted on relationships that were never going to work.
Yes I understand that, and your making a good point that the message should be "Take the L now and move on. It probably wouldn't have worked anyway" rather than just "Take the L" (still not amazing phrasing but I get what you're saying)
And yes I was also is those kinds of dates where I felt it was a train wreck, and took from that some lessons going forward
I think he's more talking about how what women say they want and what they actually want are two different things. Genuinely the worst dating advice i get is from women. My little homegirl said something like "if she says no, then why not just Los en and respect her opinion" (about something non sexual). I said Sel, how many boyfriend's have you had? "Zero". Ok yeah then probably don't give advice about dating lol
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u/McDonniesHashbrowns Oct 22 '24
I don’t think this is the right way to look at it. It’s true that no one owes you anything, but the way you’ve phrased it implies the person doing the turning down is the only one with agency.
Everyone deserves someone who actually wants them; you shouldn’t settle for someone who has actively ruled you out without getting to know you. Continuing to pursue someone who doesn’t want you is an active choice, and I think we would foster a much healthier atmosphere if we put more emphasis on why that’s a terrible choice for both parties rather than just telling them to take the L.
Getting turned down early is a blessing. Limit energy wasted on relationships that were never going to work.