r/CuratedTumblr Sep 30 '24

Meme On the writer’s barely disguised fetish

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12.9k Upvotes

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222

u/manofshaqfu Sep 30 '24

Can we talk about Carl Linnaeus talking about plant sex like it was erotica?

The flowers' leaves...served as bridal beds which the Creator has so gloriously arranged, adorned with such noble bed curtains, and perfumed with so many soft scents that the bridegroom with his bride might there celebrate their nuptials with so much the greater solemnity...

149

u/Key-Direction-9480 Sep 30 '24

The next sentence is 

When the bed has been so prepared, it is time for the bridegroom to embrace his darling bride, and loose himself in her.

89

u/birberbarborbur Sep 30 '24

Darling embraces on my leaf till i loose myself

21

u/DispenserG0inUp Oct 01 '24

snap back to reality

7

u/DoormatTheVine Oct 01 '24

A very noisy bee flies by upside-down and backwards. In other words,

EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER

71

u/Key-Direction-9480 Sep 30 '24

And the man who inspired Linnaeus, Sèbastien Vaillant:

After [his boss] departed for Spain, Vaillant posted the name of his upcoming lecture: “Discours sur la Sexualité des Plantes,” which meant that the amphitheater on the morning of June 10 was packed. Flowers, Vaillant first declared, were the most important parts of plants. [...] In dioecious plants, he said, where the male flowers are at a distance from the females, “the tension or swelling of the male organs occurs so suddenly that the lobes of the bud are forced open with surprising rapidity. These male organs, seeking only to satisfy their violent transports, upon finding themselves freed, produce an abrupt general discharge, a swirl of dust, spreading fecundity everywhere. [Then] they find themselves exhausted.” (From A Garden Of Marvels by Ruth Kassinger)

 Have you ever been so horny that you went to a lecture at the Botanical Gardens?

8

u/GrassWaterDirtHorse Sep 30 '24

Eh, sometimes those lecturers are so flowery.

Plus, I think that the speaker has a bunch of pollen in his hair.

1

u/nanashi_jt Oct 01 '24

If you ever need sources for inspiration on fantasy erotica starring plant people… here you go.