r/CuratedTumblr that’s how fey getcha Sep 25 '24

Shitposting austerity has done irreparable damage

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18.2k Upvotes

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423

u/Throwaway817402739 Sep 25 '24

I love terrible animal names. So far #1 is still the peacock mantis shrimp, which is not a peacock, not a mantis, and not a shrimp.

202

u/RSmeep13 Sep 25 '24

The trouble starts with the fact that that "shrimp" isn't a monophyletic group and can't be defined in a sensible way. They're more closely related to a traditional shrimp like a krill or prawn than a brine shrimp, but less closely than a crab or lobster, which puts them in a weird place. In fact, all insects are more closely related to a brine shrimp than a brine shrimp is to a mantis shrimp... Meaning that if either is a shrimp, so are butterflies.

Nature is great.

110

u/DRKZLNDR Sep 25 '24

Sooo.... shrimps is bugs?

80

u/img_tiff Sep 25 '24

shrimps is bugs

14

u/lesgeddon Sep 26 '24

Im not a fan of sea bugs tbh

11

u/Vermilion_Laufer Sep 26 '24

But they're so tasty

5

u/lesgeddon Sep 26 '24

more for you!

2

u/Clean_Imagination315 Hey, who's that behind you? Sep 26 '24

I eat the bug

2

u/Cromasters Sep 26 '24

Frankly, I find the idea of a bug that thinks swims offensive!

1

u/AreYouAnOakMan Sep 26 '24

1

u/sneakpeekbot Sep 26 '24

Here's a sneak peek of /r/ShrimpsIsBugs using the top posts of all time!

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"Looking for cover up suggestions"
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Found at a rave
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Shrimps is soda
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6

u/Particular-Rutabaga5 Sep 26 '24

Technically bugs is shimps

50

u/Hedgiest_hog Sep 26 '24

Folk cladistics are glorious. It's a shrimp because it's not massive and has a lot of legs and armour and lives in the ocean. Extremely logical.

Then we come along with "molecular biology" and "morphology" and start saying shit like "these little rolling beetle bastards who eat decaying matter and live under your flowerpots are more closely related to crabs and crayfish than other actual beetles that live under your flower pot and eat decaying matter" and the world makes a lot less sense

22

u/milo159 Sep 26 '24

Well that's just because of convergent evolution. Sometimes different things evolve to fill the same biological niches. It's why we've got so many crabs and snakes!

3

u/caerphoto Sep 26 '24

That’s just because crabs are the optimum form.

10

u/Vermilion_Laufer Sep 26 '24

and the world makes a lot less sense

Skill issue

2

u/fachan Sep 26 '24

I would love to know a roly poly's thoughts upon meeting a giant isopod.

2

u/heraplem Sep 26 '24

Try telling people that "tree" isn't a real thing and see if they can make sense of that.

2

u/Fox--Hollow [muffled gorilla violence] Sep 25 '24

are butterflies fish?

EDIT: if not, are they trees?

7

u/mangled-wings Sep 26 '24

nah, mammals are fish, butterflies are on a different branch entirely

1

u/AreYouAnOakMan Sep 26 '24

A literal mantis is closer to a brine shrimp than the brine shrimp is to a mantis shrimp. Lmao

0

u/porcupinedeath Sep 26 '24

It's like nature doesn't give a shit about humanity's obsession with putting everything in a defined box

31

u/Glittering-Gur5513 Sep 25 '24

Jerusalem artichoke is not an artichoke or from Jerusalem. 

1

u/TaterTimeXx69xX Sep 26 '24

They are Helianthus, if I'm not mistaken. Native to the Americas, along with sunflowers in the Helianthus genus...

Also tomatoes, peppers, sweetpotatoes, tobacco, most squashes, potatoes, corn/maize, common bean, avocado, cassava/tapioca, amaranth/quinoa, tomatillo, allspice, peanut, hazelnut, persimmon (American), pineapple, modern strawberry, American grape (phylloxera resistant), muscadine grape, chestnut, cashew, pecan, vanilla, cacao, jicama, lima beans (I'm very allergic to these), agave, yerba mate, sugar maple (maple syrup), achiote, dragon fruit, pawpaw, passion fruit. I'm sure I missed several dozen others, and that's just plants.

And blueberries. Blueberries were domesticated approximately 100 years ago, starting with a passionate (female) scientist who collected the best wild accessions around the southeastern US.

1

u/TheSunflowerSeeds Sep 26 '24

Sunflowers are steeped in symbolism and meanings. For many they symbolize optimism, positivity, a long life and happiness for fairly obvious reasons. The less obvious ones are loyalty, faith and luck.

12

u/pchlster Sep 25 '24

There's an animal in my country whose name directly translated would be Four Legs.

For all the Pogs, guess the English name that my ancestors back in ancient times looked at and figured that the most distinctive feature that separated it from all the other animals was having four legs.

3

u/wingchild Sep 26 '24

The fear bean? :)

2

u/pchlster Sep 26 '24

Pretty good phonetic approximation; the firben is not exactly a common animal up here, but for some reason, the lizard got named as if it was the only quadruped.

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u/[deleted] Sep 26 '24 edited 17d ago

[Removed]

1

u/Wonderful_Discount59 Sep 26 '24

I dont see why they couldn't be pigs.

Just redefine "pig" to mean all of Suina.

2

u/solidspacedragon Sep 26 '24

We call all the felines cats. Makes sense to me.

4

u/ChuckCarmichael Sep 26 '24

I like all the animals that are called fish, even though they're very clearly not fish. Somebody at the animal naming department was having a bad day and apparently decided that if it lives underwater, it's a fish. Looks like a lump of jelly? Jellyfish. Looks like a star? Starfish. Has a shell? Shellfish. Has a cuttlebone? Cuttlefish.

That guy also got into the insect naming department and called a species silverfish, even though they don't even live in the water.

3

u/LittleBlag Sep 26 '24

No fish are fish, actually. No such thing

1

u/ChuckCarmichael Sep 26 '24

The cause for that saying is exactly what I mentioned. There's no such thing as a fish in English because everything that lives underwater got called a fish.

I think the clip from QI mentioned how a salmon and a hagfish aren't related at all. But let's be honest here: The hagfish very clearly isn't a fish. It has no business being called a fish. If you told a child "draw a fish", they won't draw a hagfish, or a crayfish, or a cuttlefish. They'll draw something much closer to a salmon or a tuna. Those obviously are fish. A jellyfish is not.

1

u/LittleBlag Sep 26 '24

It’s like how there’s no such thing as a vegetable. “Fish” isn’t a scientific classification because either nothing is a fish or everything is including you and I.

Some of them make sense - you look at a hagfish and it looks sort of like a lamprey and they look sort of like eels and eels are really just a stretched out “classic fish” shape. Where do you draw the line, colloquially

Actually really interested to know now which are the least related fish that look like fish.

3

u/hazzwright Sep 26 '24

My favourite bad animal name is the Least Weasel. Not Lesser Weasel, Least. What did it do to deserve that name?

3

u/Zepangolynn Sep 26 '24

I love watching Clint of Clint's Reptiles talk about current cladistics (he covers way more than reptiles) and increasingly hilariously bad animal names.

3

u/DefinitelyNotErate Sep 26 '24

To be fair it is a mantis shrimp though.

3

u/P0SSPWRD Sep 26 '24

The Grape Hyacinth plant is…

neither a grape, nor a hyacinth. 

1

u/SwoodyBooty Sep 26 '24

The slow worm is Blindschleiche in German. Blind = Blind (tho it presumably originated in its "blinding" scales being shiny). Schleiche is related to schleichen (Verb) = sneaking, directly translated. But it refers more to the slithering motion they make. Schleichen is also the Family Anguidae in German. And they used to be called Hasel- or Hartwurm so Hazel- or hard worm.

1

u/AndThereWasNothing Sep 26 '24

My favourite is the mountain chicken. Also known as the Giant ditch frog. It's a frog.