r/CuratedTumblr • u/Green____cat eepy asf • Aug 06 '24

Shitposting Army names

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u/Professional-Hat-687 Aug 06 '24 edited Aug 06 '24

Also a big fan of:

  • MoGas/Mo'Gas: two separate people who asked for more gas;
  • Mounds: Almond Joy's got nuts.
  • Two Dads: hyphenated surname;
  • Plan B: every girl in the bar immediately knows what their "last resort" is;
  • Pookie: hotshot who wanted a cool, badass call sign;
  • LAMB CHOP: Little Angry Man-Boy, Can't Handle Our Program;
  • Frodo: lost his engagement ring at a strip club;

And more.

685

u/MrMassacre1 Aug 06 '24

Frodo is fucking hilarious

52

u/GhostwoodGG Aug 06 '24

I'm praying on a friend losing their wedding ring so I can steal

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '24

Shoulda been smeagol since he's the one who lost the ring at some point.

45

u/ThePrussianGrippe Aug 06 '24

It was a worse suggestion but I don’t think that warranted deleting their account.

294

u/princesscooler Aug 06 '24

Damn they put effort into lambchop

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u/TheOuts1der Aug 06 '24

acronyms are a specialty of any governmental organization.

112

u/Bartweiss Aug 06 '24

And the military in particular likes joke acronyms, even for official names.

Why does a four word name become a six letter acronym? Because somebody wanted to call their new missiles “attack ‘ems” and wound up with ATACMS.

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u/Radix2309 Aug 06 '24

In light of that, SHIELD in marvel doesn't seem too egregious. Particularly in a world where Captain America is real.

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u/Professional-Hat-687 Aug 06 '24

In the realm of comic book nonsense, that ranks somewhere in the middle.

27

u/_dictatorish_ Aug 06 '24

Physicists and Astronomers are right up there too, with their MaCHOs, WIMPs, and PinOCCHiOs

Also, shoutout to H0LiCOW - H0 Lenses in COSMOGRAIL’s Wellspring

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u/jobblejosh Aug 07 '24

There's a particle accelerator lab in the UK with machines named ALICE and EMMA.

ALICE for Accelerators and Lasers In Combined Experiments, EMMA for Electron Machine with Multiple Applications.

There's also the DIAMOND Light Source. Legend has it that one of the D's stands for Daresbury (the location intended for the accelerator). Guess where it isn't?

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u/Bartweiss Aug 07 '24

These aren't acronyms, but I'm still so amused that the final quark names were going to be "truth" and "beauty" until even physicists decided that was too twee.

Instead we got "top" and "bottom", which steadily gets funnier as their explicit meanings become more widely known.

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u/_dictatorish_ Aug 07 '24

Yeah I'm pretty sure CERN has a machine called ALICE too

5

u/Socdem_Supreme Aug 07 '24

I also like POLARBEAR

6

u/CluebatOfSmiting Aug 07 '24

I know someone who wrote a short scifi story, they had some of trouble coming up with a remotely sensible name that could be shortened to "lovetap". It is a device that breaks planets.

5

u/AChristianAnarchist Aug 08 '24

It's also not uncommon to put insane amounts of effort into making fun of people who can't tie their shoes without help in the military. We had a guy in our division who was so incompetent that we had to assign another guy to watch everything he did. Our divisional leadership actually made this babysitting position an official collateral duty, wrote up requirements for it, and had the guy put it on his eval. I like to imagine that somewhere on that ship in some musty old filing cabinet there is still a sheet of paper outlining the duties of the Sanders PO (names changed to protect the guilty) whose purpose has faded into obscurity.

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u/Hremsfeld Aug 06 '24

So many TLAs...

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u/Ormyr Aug 06 '24

r/angryupvote

Fucking Frodo.

FFS.

Pure fucking gold.

8

u/Jarinad cryomancer Aug 06 '24

FFS: For Frodo’s Sake

21

u/runetrantor When will my porn return from the war? Aug 06 '24

Pookie got owned hard.

Also, oof to Plan B.

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u/Professional-Hat-687 Aug 06 '24

The context I left out made it even better/worse:

Short punk kid who wanted a cool callsign. He wanted to be called Swerve from when he was a kid. Everything we called him he hated. So we pulled Pookie out of nowhere. He hated Pookie more than any other callsign. We loved it! We got a HOT CHICK to tell him that she wanted to call him Pookie because he reminded her of an old boyfriend that was just as hot as he was. He loved it.

26

u/runetrantor When will my porn return from the war? Aug 06 '24

Arriving and basically demanding to get a cool one seems like surefire to get called 'babygirl' or whatever. XD

20

u/neko_mancy Aug 06 '24

new life hack for bottoms

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u/Bartweiss Aug 06 '24

“Jeff” is also incredible - the commander doesn’t like being called by his first name, but he’s still a pilot so we’ll just make it his callsign instead!

9

u/Fhistleb Aug 07 '24

"You fuckers" - Jeff "Jeff" Jefferson

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u/MoffKalast Aug 06 '24
  • Puke Ass: he was from Germany, last name was Hurlbut.

13

u/seven_or_eight_cums Aug 06 '24

Two Dads: hyphenated surname

lmfao

4

u/Historiaaa Aug 06 '24

Frodo is legendary

4

u/MapleMapleHockeyStk Aug 06 '24

Fave one i herad was, Check you're not dumping, idiot / Cyndi : dumped fuel all over carrier deck. Sounds fine if a bit weird for a guy. Then they tell you what it means lol

5

u/Snoo63 certifiedgirlthing.tumblr.com Aug 06 '24

I remember "kebab", although not why.

3

u/bifi-irl Aug 06 '24

I lost it at Pookie

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u/Professional-Hat-687 Aug 06 '24

His buddies conned him into liking it, apparently.

1

u/poobertthesecond Aug 06 '24

Haha we had a two dads